Hello. Let me just say that I feel you you're characterzations are awesomely amazing and I always look forward to reading more from you. This chapter was pretty good and I can understand why it was so hard to put out. It's very hard to write sometimes, when it's such a difficult subject. I applaud you. ^^"
You missed a few periods, love. "security and
Ignoring her, as usual." (Not sure if this was intentional or not) "through her body Pins and needles"
I could see how this would be a hard chapter to write. Children always are because it's so difficult to remember how to think like a child. Whatever The Hatter Theory did to help you though seemed to work. While it's far from a perfect chapter, it conveys its message and that's what's important. I can't exactly tell you what's wrong with it, though, because I'm not sure myself or if "wrong" is even the correct word to use. Sorry, I'm not much help. I'll stop talking now.
Lyra (Chapter 112) - Sat 25 Feb 2012
Well, you may fear hate, but this chapter inspires only love! We get to see Minoru from Rin's perspective, which is very interesting considering how accurate her estimation of him his - that he "cares" for her but does not care for her; that he sees the danger and disturbance in her before he sees the child. The look back at Rin's former life is interesting too; it makes her resistance, her fears, more poignant, because we are forced to acknowlege the fact that she has no reason to expect anything but pain from changes in her life. Sesshomaru is the first "good" thing that has happened to her...and Sesshomaru's "good" is not the usual kind.
You've done a splendid job portraying Rin's "innocenceless innocence"; in showing how carefully she observes, and how much she sees. My favorite lines are probably the most heartbreaking - "....the fear and pity and sorry, sorry, sorry, on their faces. Like they didn't want to hurt her. But they would."
Eagerly awaiting more, with the hope that all Rin's fears turn out to be shadows in the dark :D
KEdakumi (Chapter 112) - Sat 25 Feb 2012
Awww.... poor Rin. Kagome will have her work cut out for her.
*wibbles*
Naq.
Oh god what did I do? I'm sorry.
Merf. Okay. This was well written. So much so that I'm sniffling. So, well written and er. Imma go glom on you in chat now.
So. I had several (five or six) updates to read.
This is going splendidly.
Which means everything is about go horribly awry, doesn't it?
2lazy2login@themoment (Chapter 111) - Fri 24 Feb 2012
yay~ 1800 words, now I need to write that amount for a paper that was due four days ago while I skipped class and read this (among other things) ^^;
Lyra (Chapter 54) - Thu 23 Feb 2012
Ahh...here we are! The snippet I was in search of! So...Minoru would disagree with allowing Kouga's wolves to rampage through a human village. Minoru is, after all, the moral one - but moral in a youkai sense and still one of the damned. Minoru is also the idealistic one - though coming from Sesshomaru, Idealism could mean anything more than his own disinterested "pragmatism", and not necessarily the pure and powerful belief the word implies. How interesting :D
Lyra (Chapter 49) - Thu 23 Feb 2012
Re-reading in search of Minoru snippets...and found this chapter again in passing, which may be the most heartwrenchingly accurate description of Rin and SEsshomaru's first moments I've ever read. That last line - exquisite. It holds Sesshomaru's current promise, the whim of a youkai heart - and all the future moments that are, as yet, beyond his sight.
Lyra (Chapter 111) - Thu 23 Feb 2012
Ahhh where to begin! Fantastic as always, of course, but I have to say I'm glad you let the words come out, because the length of this one really seems to tie it together. The fact that Kagome is continuing to use her brain, while still being "excitospastic Kagome" is wonderful, because that's who she is - while at the same time the ability to think means that she has the real possibility of becoming something more than just a damsel in distress/shard detecting archer. The fact that she's actually realized what is required to go back into the past is excellent, because it's always rather silly if no one bothers to think about it...or if Kagome is the only one who doesn't. She should be the first one to think about it, the first one to know, because it affects her most intimately. YAY!.
Second point...the humor in this is Perfect. Minoru's "I exasperated you" comment is so dry its desert, and just...hilarious. The fact that you've managed to create this OC who fits perfectly into canon, who fits perfectly in counterpoint to the characters you are already there...just fantastic work. Minoru has been growing on me, of course, but in this chapter he really seemed to come into his own. Now that Kagome is comfortable with him and the serious work can begin, we get these little snippets that hint of deeper motivations - such as his internal moment of sympathy for the tragedy of Kagome's "powerlessness". Sympathy, for yet another of the humans he hates?
More than just Sesshomaru will be learning a lesson, it appears - and it's being illustrated so elegantly that I can't wait for more! :D
Saraniya (Chapter 111) - Thu 23 Feb 2012
This was a cute scene between the two of them I just can't wait until Sesshoumaru gets thrown into the mix.
Lyra (Chapter 110) - Thu 23 Feb 2012
"Yes, yes I will"...OF COURSE SHE WILL! That's Kagome for you..and presented the way it is, the chances she would ever deny Minoru are of course zero. To be needed...Kagome's fatal flaw and one which Inuyasha has exploited many times - hopefully, Sesshomaru will not exploit, but appreciate it - eventually. Once he gets past the mind-numbing, murderous rage. And then the less mindnumbing but still murderous fury...and so forth :p A much better reason for Kagome to make her choice; now I want to see how the reason affects the results :D
Onward, onward!
Zero-Serenity (Chapter 67) - Wed 22 Feb 2012
I haven't logged onto this site in quite a while. I may even have my name wrong XD as a result I can't remembered how to favorite this story ='( It's a very good story. Well written, and I haven't noticed any grammar issues or typos or huge plot issues that scream out 'FIX MEEEEE'.
Sesshy is portrayed nicely, your own characters are well rounded and believable. You've kept things right but the story is without a doubt all yours.
So very good and in need of favoriting. So.. as soon as I figure out how you'll be on my page >.<'
Keep up the excellent writing.
(on chappy 67 or so, can't remember if this site tells that on reviews, but I have a habit of catching up before reviewing. Only this time I couldn't really help it. You deserved praise.)
~Zero
p.s.
this may have already been posted, but i think putting a space between inu and yasha for the 'type this character's name' thing screwed me over ... -.- so here is attempt two. i apologize of the reveiw is already up.
2lazy2login@themoment (Chapter 110) - Wed 22 Feb 2012
ooh, I understand that she's eager, but Kagome didn't even bring up the possibility of Rin actually getting through the well :/ (Minoru said he wanted to take her to the future - lets hope that she didn't just make a promise she can only half-keep)
Aubrey Simone (Chapter 110) - Wed 22 Feb 2012
I've decided that I'm envious of your phenomenal writing skills. How you manage to keep impressing me with your characters and your little internal dialogues - especially Kagome's - is astonishing...I've never been so thoroughly engrossed in a story in quite some time!
Anyway, I'll be waiting on the edge for the next chapter...Keep up the marvelous work!
~Aubrey
P.S - I didn't get around to answering your message, but you're very welcome!
criticat (Chapter 109) - Tue 21 Feb 2012
Oh it is more than readable, it is good! The only thing anyone can possibly complain about with your writing is that we wish there was MORE!
I loved Kagome having a little fangirl moment there lol
Lyra (Chapter 109) - Tue 21 Feb 2012
I FORCED myself to finish rereading it before I read this new chapter, and it was soooo worth the wait. Kagome, yaoi-otaku; Minoru, serious only when forced to be...and then that very last line, a plea which is such utter truth that it has spawned...well, all of Dokuga, hasn't it? But you've but it very succinctly and very beautifully, and...it is, of course, the kind of plea that Kagome is totally unable to resist! Now, she will no longer be seekly selfishly her own advancement; now, she knows exactly what she is risking, and I believe she will choose to risk it anyway. Not only for Rin, who is adorable and human and begs protection by her presence...but for Minoru himself, who has chosen to be honest with her, and for Sesshomaru, who she fears...and yet who intrigues her :D
I LOVE YOU NAQ! BRAVO! :D
Michi (Chapter 108) - Tue 21 Feb 2012
Ohhhhhhh, poor Inuyasa! But I can SO see Sessho beating the crap out of Minoru for this one comment alone, with all intent of killing him too. I LOLd so hard!
Lumi (Chapter 108) - Tue 21 Feb 2012
You are a cruel, sick, and beautiful person with a character that is much the same and I love you both.
The imagery is this was positively mind-numbing in the best and worst ways.
Saraniya (Chapter 108) - Mon 20 Feb 2012
Yes it was a very serious chapter indeed... (breaks out into giggles over Kagome's expression) :)
Page 16 of 31
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |