Having a grown man sleep on the floor because she didn't want to sleep in different rooms is too strange. How uncomfortable must that have been.
Being realistic is good, yeah they are not completely in love yet and Kagome moving in is creating some wierdness. I don't think it's a bad thing, but there a few slower parts. Bottom line, this story is a Drabble. In stead of having a whole chapter building up moments and story, you have about 100-300 words to make a moment, make an impact, and further the story. As a reader, we are seeing small glimpses into the characters' lives, and that's important to remember. This last chapter was good, but it wasn't my favorite. It was normal, but it wasn't necessary. You could had shown them at the grocery store already, and addressed some of the ackwardness and guilt kagome felt there. Again, it's Drabble, we don't have to see everything, just the moments that make their lives. You can play around with it and have fun. It doesn't have to be so each and everyday-like. We don't need to know what happens for every little thing. It makes it more interesting to read that way, just being thrown into little moments.
But, I'm just a reader. All I'm offering is a bit of insight from my perspective. This is one of the stories I always click on to read so you can totally ignore me. I'll still be a fan of your work and I'll still read your stories. Ultimately, as the writer, it's whatever you want to do.
-B (:
Keep it coming.
Genie, I sorry if my curiosity offend or angered you. I was just wondering why a particular character is acting a certain way and I thought that the author might be a to enlighten me. I also love the story and am in no way try to get the author to speed thing up or change it in any way. Also I don't really believe that the beginning of every relationship no matter what its based on is going to give you the fairyale end results that we all want. I know a couple of relationships that were based mutual respect, honesty and love that ended very badly for all parties. On the other end of the septrum my husband and I met one night at a concert when I was 23, I went home with him and we have been together for 28 years.
genie48 (Chapter 96) - Tue 22 Oct 2013
This story is one of my favorites. You're writing about a custom few of us in the US know anything about in a way that feels "right" to me. I find the pace and Kagome's hesitant attitude to be very realistic for the situation. It doesn't matter that she's had a lover before. This isn't a youthful "indiscretion" like her relationship with Bank probably was. It isn't a dating situation she can walk away from when things turn sour. She's obviuosly had relationships of one type or another that haven't worked out so she knows what that's like. This is different. She's committing to marrying this man and spending the rest of her life with him. It makes perfect sense to me that she's going to want to build a strong foundation and allow true feelings to develop between them before muddying the waters with intimacy. Please continue to write the story at the pace that feels realistic to you. It's working. This is a lovely, multi-layered story that is a pleasure to read.
Keep it coming.
Lovin' this story. I just have a question. Why is Kagome acting so shy and innocent? I know that this more a bout a developing relationship, fiendship, romance, etc... It just seems a little...I don't know weird that they haven't so much as maid out, with how casually she mentioned to Souta in a prevous chapter how Bank took her virginity long ago in college.
Interesting, keep it coming.
Nice, keep it coming.
Ankita (Chapter 88) - Sat 12 Oct 2013
Really nice to see that they are marrying in a traditional way ... and it is true in India the first invitation is given to the in-laws so as to invite their family members respectfully in the marriage..
Nice, keep it coming.
Wonderful, keep it coming.
You are doing fantastic with this fic. I am so enjoying each time I come back to catch up. Their relationship is moving at just the right speed for being introduced through a matchmaker and I like how each one is considerate of the other's feelings. They're picking up on the little things we all have before jumping into marriage and bed or vise-versa. I can remember the one very small apartment my husband and I had after we had our little girl and it was really small but I managed to make it cozy and homey feeling. The things that we really didn't need to use at that time we boxed and stored them in the little storage area the apartment owner had for each tenant. It sounds like that's what Kagome is doing little by little and though it is technically invading his space, they are getting married and having stuff brought in all at once isn't as intrusive to me.
I also like how understanding he is over her want to visit her family more often. It seems to me that it's harder for moms to let go of their girls than it is the sons. He's being very sweet. I'm sure eventually, like it did when he went off to college and then got his own apartment, things will settle down more and once a week or every other week will be fine. It's nice to have family and share that togetherness as often as possible. Life moves by so fast after all and you never know when a bad turn will take a loved one away and leave you with regret. Souta and Kagome's relationship is great in that they can share things together even when they're grown up.
Well, I'll go for now. Time for morning meds and then to sleep. (I ended up being a night owl when my hubby was working 3rd shift. It's a hard routine to break) Take care. JEN
Keep it coming.
Liking all chapters, keep it coming.
Nice, keep it coming.
Keep it coming.
Keep it coming.
Page 6 of 10
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