Jessica- Thu 05 Jun 2008
Constructive criticism here, not trying to offend at all. I would suggest getting a beta reader. You have many grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors. This one mistake constantly appeared throughout the chapter, you don't space after periods, quotations, exclamations, etc.

Apathetic- Thu 05 Jun 2008
It's so very good!

-Starts a riot.- Update!

...Please? ^_^

eve13- Tue 03 Jun 2008
im excited keep it up

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