"THE NEW PHONE BOOKS ARE HERE!! THE NEW PHONE BOOKS ARE HERE!!"

-Navin R. Johnson, 'The Jerk'

played by the illustrious Steve Martin

Gerald Olin: You do drink don't you?

Mike Enslin: Of course. I just said I was a writer.

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Mike Enslin: Let's "Encyclopedia Brown" this bitch.

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[examining the mini-bar in room 1408]

Mike Enslin: Eight dollars for Beer Nuts? This room *is* evil!



All from 1408.

Mrs. Slocum: "The central heating broke down and I had to hold my pussy in front of it. It was frozen solid."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Slocum: "What about this fog! My pussy's been gasping all night."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Slocum: "...and I am unanimous in this!"

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Mrs. Slocum: "Captain Peacock, I do not respond to any man's finger."

_________________________________________________________________________

Mrs. Slocum: "I have to get home. A man is coming over to do a sculpture of my pussy."

_________________________________________________________________________

Mr. Humphries: "I'm right behind you Mr. Lucas."
Mr. Lucas: "Actually Mr. Humphries I'd rather you were behind Captain Peacock."




all from Are You Being Served

Danyealle Myst wrote:
Mrs. Slocum: "...and I am unanimous in this!"


Sounds like something I would say lol.

"My face is up here."
"I've made my decision."

From the Simpson's, Homer was talking to some lady, forget who she was, while staring at her chest lol.

"Want a Beer?... It's 7:00 in the morning!... Scotch?... Not during working hours..."

Sounds like something I would say, but I didn't! I don't know where this quote came from, maybe 'Animal House', but they used to play it every morning at 7 on a radio station in Columbus...

Danyealle Myst wrote:
Mrs. Slocum: "The central heating broke down and I had to hold my pussy in front of it. It was frozen solid."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Slocum: "What about this fog! My pussy's been gasping all night."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Slocum: "...and I am unanimous in this!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mrs. Slocum: "Captain Peacock, I do not respond to any man's finger."

_________________________________________________________________________

Mrs. Slocum: "I have to get home. A man is coming over to do a sculpture of my pussy."

_________________________________________________________________________

Mr. Humphries: "I'm right behind you Mr. Lucas."
Mr. Lucas: "Actually Mr. Humphries I'd rather you were behind Captain Peacock."




all from Are You Being Served


Karma to you for this reference!! I thought I was the only person on the planet who watched old britcoms. This one is annoyingly funny. I love when Mrs. Slocom tries to be all prim and proper when she's lit like a Christmas tree! Hysterical!

Nope, I watch them too! It drives my hubby batty...er. Are You Being Served is one of my favorites!


"Hey Mack, how do you get to Redbud?"

"How'd you know my name was 'Mack'?"

*shrugs* "I guessed."

"Then guess your way to Redbud"

Funny Farm

Yay, quotes!

Hudson: Maybe it's like an anthive?
Vasquez: Bees, man. Bees have hives.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Gorman: Apone! Look... we can't have any firing in there. I, uh... I want you to collect magazines from everybody.
Hudson: Is he fuckin' crazy?
Frost: What the hell are we supposed to use man? Harsh language?
______________________________________________________________________________

Hudson: Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
Vasquez: No. Have you?
______________________________________________________________________________

Vasquez: Look, man. I only need to know one thing: where they are.
Drake: Go, Vasquez. Kick ass.
Vasquez: Anytime, anywhere, man!
Hudson: Right, right. Somebody said "alien" she thought they said "illegal alien" and signed up!
Vasquez: Fuck you, man!
Hudson: Anytime, anywhere.

All from Aliens

"Into the garbage chute, flyboy."

"MAIL BOX MAIL BOX MAAAAAIIIILLLLBBBBOOXXXX"

i couln't help myself.

Nobody wrote:
"MAIL BOX MAIL BOX MAAAAAIIIILLLLBBBBOOXXXX"

i couln't help myself.



Lol, I was waiting for someone to put it.

"Airplane, eight ball, ying yang, glasses. Mailbox. Open Mailbox." *puts thumbs up*

hahahahahahahaahhaahha

"WHY ARE THESE MINES EVEN HERE?"

Donnie: I made a new friend today.

Dr. Lilian Thurman: Real or imaginary?

Donnie: Imaginary

-------------------------------------
Gretchen: You're weird.

Donnie: Sorry.

Gretchen: No, that was a compliment.


Donnie Darko

"They're man-made torture devices! All they do is cut off your circulation, make it difficult to breathe, and squeeze your tits together so guys can stare at your cleavage! I refuse to be encumbered by man's torturous garments of oppression."

Germain from Foamy the Squirrel episodes complaining about bras.

It cracks me up every time.

"You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure West Virginia. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI."

Hannibal Lecter

Silence of the Lambs







MAILBOX OPEN MAILBOX

Mr. Mom.

Indiscipline by King Crimson

I do remember one thing.
It took hours and hours but..
by the time I was done with it,
I was so involved, I didn't know what to think.
I carried it around with me for days and days..
playing little games
like not looking at it for a whole day
and then.. looking at it.
to see if I still liked it.
I did.

I repeat myself when under stress.
I repeat myself when under stress.
I repeat myself when under stress.
I repeat myself when under stress.
I repeat..
The more I look at it,
the more I like it.
I do think it's good.
The fact is..
no matter how closely I study it,
no matter how I take it apart,
no matter how I break it down,
It remains consistant.
I wish you were here to see it.

I like it

Kouta: I thought we were friends
Lucy: We are friends...That's why your still alive.

Elfen lied

Nisou Tenshi wrote:
Germain from Foamy the Squirrel episodes complaining about bras.

It cracks me up every time.
I LOVE Foamy.
--
Germaine: The world is a sick and sad place when a woman's underwear fetches hundreds of dollars at auction. And I'm not going to stick a lolipop up my butt!
--
Foamy: Mark my words! This lolipop will be up your butt by weeks' end, ya' selfish S.O.B.
--
Germaine: Okay, your vet gave me a test to see how your brain works.
PillzE: Not at all, thank-you.
--
Foamy: If you wanna lecture your kids, you gotta be in the right position to do it. Don't say, "One moment, Bobby. I gotta go get my antidepressant, then I'll be right back to talk about your drug problem." Yeah, doesn't anybody else see the irony in that?
--
PillzE: Stigmaataa...in your eye!


--love it *^_^* i don't care if u think i'm insane, PillzE rocks

Man: "I told you, I'm not gay."
Woman: "Riiight. Of course you're not."
Man: "Are you calling me a closet case?!"
Woman: "No, you're not in the closet..."
Man: "Damn Straight!"
Woman: "...You're in Narnia."

ROFL

(I have no idea where I got this, but I distinctly remember seeing this somewhere on Comedy Central)

"What's love without a violin playing goat?"

Hahaha. I just loved that line.

-Notting Hill

UtterChaos247 wrote:

I LOVE Foamy.
i don't care if u think i'm insane, PillzE rocks

I love Foamy too. And you're Pillz-E does rock.

Germaine: I'll be big blind and you'll be little blind.
Pillz-E: Well what is that? Like, mild cataracts?


Pillz-E: Is this a spelling game? Cause the only words I can make is "Ack" or maybe "Kach" as in Kaching!

Pillz-E: These cards aren't even in braile.

Pillz-E: Oh sad is the world... but I got me Kavorkian scarf. Around my neck.

Pillz-E: I've been a-gore-aphobic since nineteen two thousand!!

Pillz-E: Oh don't lie with the conspiracy of one!!

Pillz-E: How could you be so fucking stupid with a head so large?! I mean does your brain even work?

Germaine: Do you know how to do an assisted suicide?
Pillz-E: Not really, but murder is not a problem!

---

and one random Begley Quote:

"A-D-D-R-E-S-S, I would like to see some breasts!"

"I can't do that, Dave."

I love the Space Odessey!

"I don't know where she's going, but she's going to be there by 10am."

Aunt Augusta : I hope you are behaving very well.

Algie : Well, I'm feeling very well, Aunt Augusta.

Aunt Augusta : That's not quite the same thing. In fact the two things rarely go together. (I LOVE Judi Dench.)

-The Importance of Being Earnest


"It's just a flesh wound!"

"Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!"

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries."

"I fart in your general direction!"

-Monty Python and the Search the Holy Grail