Nobody said: "I'd rather you not because...well...you really suck at at it and here's my last boyfriends number maybe you could get some pointers?"

You get Karma on that! I'd like to be a fly on the wall for that exchange...



I'd like to see one from you, Nobody! After reading Brownies, it boggles my mind what you'd come up with...

Oh dear god my forum induced stories get out of control brownies went from a one-shot to i thinks its on part five. But maybe my mind is starting to hatch a pretty rotten idea.

OMG!! You guys are hillarious!

You know, I hate lemons that involve Sess erm... lets just say, using his fingers to erm... "pleasure?" Kagome. The first time I ever saw that, I was like noooooo!!!! He has claws!! CLAWS!!!! I don't know about anyone else, but that does not sound good to me.

haha i just figured they were retractable

Nobody wrote:
haha i just figured they were retractable

I have seen a lot of authors say that, or specify that he is being "mindful of his claws" but let's look at this from a biological standpoint... Cats can retract claws, dogs cannot. There is no breed of dog/wolf/canine-suchandsuch that has the ability to retract them. So.... every time he uses his fingers, he's turning her vagina into a blender D:

A BLENDER???!!!!! Why thank you HeartSpasm, for such a lovely image you've put into my head.

Lady Sianna wrote:
A BLENDER???!!!!! Why thank you HeartSpasm, for such a lovely image you've put into my head.




LOL Sorry but come on!

I did read one where she wrote that he bit them off... because blunt and ragged is way better.

Mine are straight forward:

Males do not go in heat, they are in rut. Therefore Sesshoumaru is never to be in heat and each time I see this written I have a nervous tick below my right eye.

Am not overly appreciative of the vast majority of high school fictions with a few extraordinarily brilliant exceptions

Sango abusing Miroku at every turn, when she is perfectly aware of his nature. Would we like it any better if he backhanded her as often as she does him? I think not. Same goes for Kagome perpetually sitting Inuyasha. It gets old rapidly.

Constant, bashing of Kikyou.

Lack of evolution in characters nature and maturity and the maintenance of the status quo in the projection of them.

That’s it.

EP

Lots of writers take their ire out on the helpless characters... cruelly and viciously. I honestly don't hate any Inuyasha character. Some may be annoying, but they all serve a purpose to the manga. HATING?!? Seems like such a waste of energy towards something that is not real.

Yes, I must agree. I dislike character bashing as well. I have never done that in any of my stories, and I won't ready any, that have character bashing in them. I think it's rather childish.

And yes Possessed, I do think that blunt and ragged is much better, thank you very much.

a vagina blender that sound like something that should be in the extravagant purchases forum!

EP: Yes! I totally agree. I hate the Kikyo bashing and the inuyasha bashing for that mater. i mean some can be done well but mostly its just too much.

YOU PUT UP THE NEW ICON!!!! I LOVE IT!

sorry, got a little excited there... what were we talking about again? Manicures for dogs? What color do you paint the nails/claws?

My dog HATES having her nails cut...

Okay, here is my rant.

Whether they be my own or others I enjoy sexual fantasies . I do not limit myself to reality within either. Personally, with these I am as flexible as Gumby and willing to accommodate almost anything. So if I am willing to do this for myself why not for fictional characters as well?

I enjoy lemons, and as long as they are well written, I place no bounds on them. Talk dirty, dominate, kink, endless time limits; I don’t care. True, I have to be in the mood to read them and when I am, anything goes.

This probably has to do with the fact that my personal sex life is not as great as it once was. It is not something I bemoan because I have other avenues to vent the frustrations of that inadequacy. Not to mention, many of the reasons why the decline has happened have proved to be even more fulfilling than great sex.

I have found stories where the lemon has distracted the flow of a great story, and then there are great stories that are built around nothing but the lemon. To me it is a decision to be made by the author and I don’t have to read it if I don’t want to.

Sex is the pinnacle of passion and passion is an integral part of non-plutonic love. Its expression can be animalistic or tender. Lust is the manifestation of a biological need. In my experience, it is never expressed with honest tenderness. If one approaches lust with tenderness, then they are deceiving either themselves or their partner.

Now a different matter, OOCness. I have certain standards that must be within these two main characters. At the core, Sesshoumaru should always have a strong sense of entitlement. His character values power above all other things and believes that he deserves the power. Yes, he has standards about how he goes about obtaining it, but his sense of divine right is always there.

Kagome is a very human character with a strong moral compass. Her sense of duty, obligation, and loyalty are her strengths. Her humanity allows her to question these things at times but she always comes back to them. They are what ground her and define her.

Bashing of characters. I am guilty of it and I did it with a character introduced within the Manga, but she was one that had virtually no history so I made her into a villain. Kikyou and Inuyasha bashing are not something I enjoy too much. If I hadn’t read the Manga, I probably would not have as much of a problem with Kikyou bashing, but her character grew in leaps and bounds within the Manga. It seems that bashing a character is always better to do with an original character made out to be the villain or one of the villains. Even then, it is better to write the character in such a way that reader hates them, but you never come out and torture them until their poetic end.

Finally, my pet peeve is unmarked dialog. I hate when it becomes obvious that the author forgot who was talking because they did not bother to write in a guide. I have seen an author who is really talented at dialog, but would be much better at script writing than prose.

Okay, I am done. If you read this all, you have way too much time, but thanks for reading it .

emmaren

i agree with ElegantPaws. Males are never in heat; females are. and i just loved the "blender" comment. too precious!

this all brings into mine another peeve of mine... i have never known a dog to actually purr. felines do so because they have something special in their throat that allows them to make that noise; dogs do not have the same capabilities. perhaps a dog can groan/growl that might feel the same as a cat's purr, but it is definitely not the same thing.

one of my dogs kinda snorts like a pig... but it's definitely not purring. i guess the author can say something like, "he emitted a growl that almost seemed like a purr". that would be acceptable.

everytime i see where someone depicts sess as purring, i tend to think of him as a pussy. so NOT what i want to associate with someone with a reputation of "killing perfection".

Wolfye Productions wrote:
i agree with ElegantPaws. Males are never in heat; females are. and i just loved the "blender" comment. too precious!

this all brings into mine another peeve of mine... i have never known a dog to actually purr. felines do so because they have something special in their throat that allows them to make that noise; dogs do not have the same capabilities. perhaps a dog can groan/growl that might feel the same as a cat's purr, but it is definitely not the same thing.

one of my dogs kinda snorts like a pig... but it's definitely not purring. i guess the author can say something like, "he emitted a growl that almost seemed like a purr". that would be acceptable.

everytime i see where someone depicts sess as purring, i tend to think of him as a pussy. so NOT what i want to associate with someone with a reputation of "killing perfection".

YES! Dogs do not/cannot purr! I never realized it until you said that but something about saying he was purring often bugged me. Plus, I feel like very little would ever actually cause Sesshoumaru to make a noise like that! lol!

emmaren, I love the way you write. I bet you could type the phonebook and make it interesting.

As for dogs' purring'... I refer to the rumbling, subsonic growl they do. My dog actually "talks" if you are late with her dinner, or you've been gone and managed to find your way home, even with your inferior senses. She tips her head back while looking at you and issues a series of rooing, howling noises followed by the long, low rumbling growl. It does not sound like a 'purr'.

My mom's dog does that too! He's definitely a talker, but no purring! Just ruffs and gruffs and grunts and growls.

My dog something that resembles a purr. It is a noise she makes when happy, but it is probably better discribed as a waking snore.

Ok the thing i think i hate the most would be when 2 characters who have never even kissed before end up haveing sex right after their first kiss. it kinda goes like this
1. first kiss/ her first kiss ever
2. a little feeling each other up
3. her sucking him of/ him eating her out
4. wild, perfect sex
5. mating right away

all with in little bit of time like an hour or less or more depending on how long he can last.

i don't know if this bothers anyone else but it just seems way to damn fast for my taste, i mean come on how often does that really happen?

Ok emmaran, I guess I have too much time on my hands, because I actually did read you whole rant. I agree with you to some degree. I obviously like lemons. It says so right in my banner! I personally don't mind them being a little unrealistic, but, if they are so far removed from reality that they make me laugh (or cringe) I think they have not sereved their purpose.

I like to have a warm fuzzy feeling after reading a lemon. And I certainly don't mind reading about wild perfect sex! I can't get it in my real life, so I guess the next best thing is reading about it!

inu_tiger_luver_393 wrote:
Ok the thing i think i hate the most would be when 2 characters who have never even kissed before end up haveing sex right after their first kiss. it kinda goes like this
1. first kiss/ her first kiss ever
2. a little feeling each other up
3. her sucking him of/ him eating her out
4. wild, perfect sex
5. mating right away

all with in little bit of time like an hour or less or more depending on how long he can last.

i don't know if this bothers anyone else but it just seems way to damn fast for my taste, i mean come on how often does that really happen?

i believe that if there are recreational substances involved where rational thought is completely impaired, this could very well happen. but the likely-hood IMO of real life is totally nil.

Okies time for my rant, and mostly just going to list them and not the whys since they should be pretty self explanatory.

Serious OCCness, clichés, males going into heat, M-peg (cause sorry but unless you are a sea horse this isn't possible), more numbers than letters in reviews, text-chat speech in stories, overuse of goth/punk, horrible wording in lemons, glorified rape, the words/names Kikyho, Kaggie, Sesseh, Sessy, Yasha (only when referring to Inuyasha), or referring to Kikyou as the school's biggest slut who slept with the entire male student body, Kagome or Rin beating on Jaken, people who have obviously never had any writing about sex, an OC being more powerful than the show's characters, self inserts, badly written lemons such as when they go from back to oral, Kagome becoming a demon or hanyou for no reason what so ever, random people being able to go through the well without any reason, not enough detail/too much detail, and there are probably 10k others but I gotta go watch Sarah Conner in about six minutes so just gonna stop there.

Since I have no one else to rant to, I hope you don't mind me adding my three cents (inflation of course). First, thanks for making me laugh, there are some very lamentable habits out there and pointing them out hopefully will help me (I'm working on the then/than but word xp doesn't grammar check that one) if not others

It drives me nuts when there are two people talking in the same paragraph.

"Yes, Mom, I'm headed to the store" Kagome turned towards the door. "Don't forget the milk." "Okay, I won't."

WTH? Is there a shortage of hard returns in the world? Do some people have to pay a usage fee?

I cringe at the "Sesshoumaru Purred" and hope if I have/do make that faux pax, someone will call me on it.

i have never known a dog to actually purr. felines do so because they have something special in their throat that allows them to make that noise; dogs do not have the same capabilities. perhaps a dog can groan/growl that might feel the same as a cat's purr, but it is definitely not the same thing.

Actaully I have a dog that does do something that sounds very much like a purr and a cat that does not purr at all. Nug will make a sound very much like a purr of you scratch his stomach, it's a vibrating, growly thing that sounds more like a purr that my one cat! The other cat has NEVER, as long as I've had him - about 7 years, emitted anything that could resemble a purr of any kind but he can sound like a tiger when P.O.ed and he can make a growl that very much sounds like the word NO! He uses that often when my fiancee is around. When i do that bit i start out with purr-like rumble then move on and will just say purr later on (that's as close to my dogs sound as i can get).

I don't like chracter bashing either although I've been accused of it myself a few times. I try to take what is in the series (I'm more familiar with it than the manga so that is all I use) and expand on what is there. Inuyasha can and is a dork, Kikyo can be a not nice being, Miroku is a hentai, etc. But I tend to wander in wierd areas and give it a basis when i do it. But, like others, I don't like out and out bashing that is meant to go after a character so 'they get theirs' as one person requested of authors in a challenge to go after Kagome.

The 'claws' issue is one I have worked with and have problems with on a regular basis so here was my take on it... I have claws, my fiancee dubs them dragon-lady nails, and they aren't the dull, rounded off fake nails, mine are very real and sharp and that is how i look at it when I write it. But I also looked at it like this... As much realism as we can try to put into this it is still fantasy no matter what we do so fudging here and there is allowed. So the fingers get used unless you want no foreplay at all (bad idea of you are working with an inexperienced character or one that is a virgin) something has to get fudged somewhere. Either that or slide in and go is boring as hell so some things are fudged and you gotta work with it.

I've done some unrealistic stuff (in my PWP usually-they are meant to be fun and not realistic-my last one had a lable on the first page saying not meant to be taken seriously) because these are fiction. I try to make them as real as I can but there are elemets you can work with that add another dimention to it that aren't always realistic but can be alot of fun to work with.

The OCCness of some characters is another issue I work with (and currently am). I do go OCC alot with Sesshomaru like in the current one but I usually give an expination WHY I've done it. You have to realize the pairing of Kagome and Sesshomaru is OCC to start with because he expressed no intrest in her at all in the manga or series so I see it as just an exptention to that. But, unlike a lot here apparently, I do more than just the Kagome/Sesshomaru pairing. I do em all, doesn't matter to me at all. If I find a plot line I like I wrote it no matter the pairing (or triple play as a few of mine are). I'm that way reading as well, I read everything and anything when I do read it (I don't much anymore because I've been writing and I can't read the stuff if I am working ebcause my brain tries to add what I've read to what I'm writing) including yaoi and yuri though I do stay away from Sesshomaru and Rin stuff, even if she is an adult because I just can't wrap my mind around that. OCC, if you can give a base for it, can and does work in many ways but mostly because not everyone sees the characters the same way, each person that writes sees the characters slightly different and works with that. If you can give a basis for it I don't see why it can't work.

Ahh, the oral sex issue... Again, if you just jump on top and go things would be boring and this is one of the more common foreplay things to add. But, look at it this way... The majority of authors, from what I've seen, here are female and most females would rather be on the recieving end than the giving so which is the one more apt to get added?

Yes, there are things that can be annoying (mines things like "Do you want to feel my sword in you Kagome?" <that was very close to a quote I saw in one story and shut it without finishing it because I couldn't go on>) but if all of us got rid of everything here there would be no stories posted!

Danyealle