LOL! I was gone a couple hours and you guys went crazy!

I think it's hard to define an overly long lemon. In terms of real time, saying that someone is having sex for like 5 hours straight (or implying it) seems pretty unrealistic. Even if Sesshoumaru is a demon (which some think means he has magickal sex powerz), Kagome is not. She'd have a shredded vagina if he "pumped into her with super demon speed" for hours on end (heck, not even hours!! she'd get friction burns even with all the lube in the world!). But in terms of wordage, over description is the killer. I guess one can't really know unless they reread their lemon and understand it's just TOO detailed.

And "man-meat"? Good god I'd be clicking the back button! UNLESS it was a crack!fic. Then it's perfectly acceptable and I will continue reading while laughing my bum off!

I would agree, it depends on how important it is to the story and in most stories its not really an integral part, it just serves as a nice distraction. I'm with Nobody, I skip through lemons, especially long ones (boring or not), quite often and I find I can keep up with a story just fine.

Another pet peeve of mine, and it is concerning lemons, is when there are lemons written between other characters and Sesshomaru or Kagome, or other characters. Its annoying because I don't read the story for other pairings, just Sess/Kag and it'll be like a whole chapter. Now those types of lemons I skip completely.

I'll tolerate another pairing between either Sesshomaru or Kagome but it would have to be brief or not too much heavily laden in the story. But if its too much, I get annoyed and I'll stop reading.

Lady Scheherazadea wrote:
I would agree, it depends on how important it is to the story and in most stories its not really an integral part, it just serves as a nice distraction. I'm with Nobody, I skip through lemons, especially long ones (boring or not), quite often and I find I can keep up with a story just fine.

I agree! I often only read MA rated fanfics because the plots are more mature. Sometimes lemons are a bonus, but often I find myself skipping them unless they're REALLY well written. And that's not to say I hate them or I think they make a story terrible, I just find they are for some people and aren't for others. There's nothing wrong with including one, because those who may not fancy reading them can just skip over them.

Hey! *points finger at HeartSpasm* I for one do like to think that Sesshoumaru has magical sex powers! Don't try and ruin my fantasy!

No, but really, I know what your saying. While a lot of us might think a long sex session like that sounds rather awesome, *drool* the reality, is like you said. I don't know about anyone else, but vaginal friction burns does not appeal to me! I guess the object is to be at least somewhat realistic. (even with magical sex powers) Clearly I like the idea of magical sex powers. I'm such a perv!

Yeah, I don't like overly descriptive sex scenes either. It can get kinda gross. Not only that, but I like lemons to focus more on the romance rather than thunderous pounding into oblivion.

Lady Sianna wrote:
Hey! *points finger at HeartSpasm* I for one do like to think that Sesshoumaru has magical sex powers! Don't try and ruin my fantasy!

I have to admit, Sesshoumaru is really damn hot, but after reading the whole "demonic speed pounding" thing eleventyseven too many times, I now find myself rolling my eyes at it. Perhaps it's just that one thing. I'm perfectly okay with him being awesome in the sack in terms of technique! LOL!


...

thunderous pounding into oblivion.


Hahahaha! I almost died laughing! XD

You win!

Lady Scheherazadea wrote:
I'll tolerate another pairing between either Sesshomaru or Kagome but it would have to be brief or not too much heavily laden in the story. But if its too much, I get annoyed and I'll stop reading.

I'm much the same way...it's probably more of a flaw in me as the reader than in the author's writing--they're not badly done lemons or anything--but, I'm an extremely monofocused reader. All I want to see is Sesshoumaru and Kagome together, lol! I like the other characters well enough, but any extended bouts following them and I get bored fast. I'll admit I tend to skip those sections and usually can still follow the Sess/Kag plot just fine. XD

And having either of them have sex with somebody else...major turn-off. It's actually a rule amongst romance novel writers that once your main romantic pair have met each other, they can't have sex with anybody else--even if they haven't realized their romantic feelings for each other yet.

It is another rule that they cannot do anything heinous. Some fics have Sess doing something unforgivable, like the aforementioned rape scenes, and I'm supposed to like this guy? I also don't like the idea of the rape not really being rape because she secretly wanted to be relieved of the burden of her virginity.
Huh?
If you've ever been in the situation of being with a guy who has decided he's not going to take no for an answer, you understand just how truly frightening it is. It is not sexy, it is not romantic, it is not fun.

It's funny how big of a difference there is between citrus and romance. People bug me about not having a lemon in my story, but from what you say it doesn't seem like they really want it anyway. They want what comes with it. They want the romance that a lemon signifies. The culmination of love and desire.

But, then if it was just romance, there wouldn't have been a "best lemon" category in every awards group past or present. And novices wouldn't use them as a means to garner new readers.

There will always be shallow romance and poor citrus, because it's an expectation that's placed on every fiction of this pairing, MA rating or not. People who shouldn't be writing it will write it, because they will always have pressure to.

(Granted I'm sure there are a few stories that steer clear from the romance angle, but I will stress few.)

HeartSpasm wrote:

And "man-meat"? Good god I'd be clicking the back button! UNLESS it was a crack!fic. Then it's perfectly acceptable and I will continue reading while laughing my bum off![/quote]

What's the matter HeartSpasm, you don't like "tube steak" or "flesh rockets"? LMAO!!!! There is no way I'd tolerate that in anything other than a crack fic either!

Lady Sianna wrote:

What's the matter HeartSpasm, you don't like "tube steak" or "flesh rockets"? LMAO!!!! There is no way I'd tolerate that in anything other than a crack fic either!

LOL!!! TUBE STEAK!!! I was curious about more funny ones and found this page:

http://www.starma.com/penis/penis.html

and then this one!

http://www.starma.com/penis/muffy/muffy.html

HAHAHA!

Eight inches of blunt fury!!!!

Heartspasm i am trying to be quite but then you send me to a link with this on it?

Blood engorged mayonnaise cannon

Too funny!!!!!

Nobody wrote:
Heartspasm i am trying to be quite but then you send me to a link with this on it?

Blood engorged mayonnaise cannon

Too funny!!!!!

Pump action yogurt rifle?

Possessed wrote:
Pump action yogurt rifle?

LOL!

How about "Deep-veined purple-helmeted spartan of love"

One of the vagina ones was "Fluffy sausage wallet" and I died laughing!

I'm not sure if you've seen the thread or not, HeartSpasm, but RadioActiveOrange recently shared this little darling with us:

(Not Work Safe)

www.lyricstop.com/f/foxtrotuniformcharliekilo-bloodhoundgang.html

Miss Kagura wrote:
I'm not sure if you've seen the thread or not, HeartSpasm, but RadioActiveOrange recently shared this little darling with us:

(Not Work Safe)

www.lyricstop.com/f/foxtrotuniformcharliekilo-bloodhoundgang.html

LOL That's hilarious!!! I didn't see that thread! Haha thank you for sharing!!

That one gave me more brain damage than I originally had.
"I brazillian wax poetic..."

Miss Kagura wrote:
Kagome angrily answered, “Inappropriate is having a face covered in pussy juice. It doesn’t get much more lewd than that.”

I DIIIIIIID IT! IT WAS ME![/quote]

oh miss kagura, that is too hilarious! and by the by, i simply LOVE your new icon... where oh where did you get it from? teehee!

Nobody, Lady Siana -

i too am not fond of long lemons... (i can;t believe i'm owning up to reading them! yikes!) i personally cringe at the constant idea that Sess can last for hours after being abstinent for years/centuries. that too does not seem realistic to me. maybe after the first ejaculation; yes, he will then be able to last however long he wants to. just my personal experience with men with "supposed" high staminas.

but what makes it boring to me is when Sess goes down on Kags yet again... and in each sexual encounter... has anyone ever had a partner so eager for cunnilingus as that? if so, i grant you a lucky one. >_^

Lady Scheherazadea -

Thank you for pointing out my misuse of a word. SEE??? even i make those mistakes. i blame it to being out of school for nearly a decade. My fiance likes to make fun of my miuses a lot... >_< my bad!

Miss Kagura wrote:
I'm not sure if you've seen the thread or not, HeartSpasm, but RadioActiveOrange recently shared this little darling with us:

(Not Work Safe)

www.lyricstop.com/f/foxtrotuniformcharliekilo-bloodhoundgang.html

oh my lord! i couldn't even get to the refrain i was laughing so hard. where do people come up with this stuff??

Haha! I told possessed this the other day. I have never laughed so hard in my life before i joined this site. I blame you all for and laugh lines i get !

Wolfe Productions i completly agree. The oral for Kagome is way over played. I've read some where you start to wonder if maybe she just needs to give Sesshomaru a damn sandwich, he is apparently starving!

Would that be a tuna fish sandwich? First you have to find a guy who is GOOD at oral sex! They all think they are...

Nobody/Possessed -

oh man! sandwich?? lol you guys are so funny! what about some sashimi??

you know what i've always wondered? it's how Sess could be mindful of his fangs while down there... heck, normal guys aren't able to watch their teeth, how could a demon? i think the main thing sess would have going for him is that long doggy tongue...

and Possessed, you are so right. they all do think they're the best at it. sometimes i wish men would consult lesbians before even attempting such a feat. (i'm glad i have one that listens )

ah ahahaha! Yeah how do you go about that conversation?

"I'd rather you not because...well...you really suck at at it and here's my last boyfriends number maybe you could get some pointers?"

Sashimi? Haha i love it! I think i see a crackfic in the works here