Hey everyone!

I'm in dire need of some reassurance and help. As most of you know, my second child is due Dec. 30th. I'm inducing on the 29th, unless I go into labor earlier. Its a small thing but it drives me CRAZY that my sons birthday will be on or very near Christmas.

You always hear about Christmas babies getting a raw deal because its so close to an expensive holiday. For several reasons: money is going into holiday gifts not just birthday gifts so the gift giving gets thinned out, and also because they have to split their special day with an entire family, or traveling out of town to visit people (which will be the case for him because we live in TX and our family in VA and they never come see US on the holidays, we always have to go see them.)

Does any have a birthday on or near Christmas, or know someone who does?
How do you feel about having it at this time of year?
How do your friends and family try to make it special for you in spite of it being near the holiday?
Any thoughts, tips, ideas, etc?

PLEASE no one take this as ranting. I swear I'm not! I'm just trying to get some feedback on those holiday babys as this has me really stressed out. Must be hormones.

Thanks everyone!

my oldest daughter's bday is jan 2, her grandfather's is dec 19, we always celebrate as though it normally for them. If others chose not too, we would always take steps to make sure she got a special day and his dad did too. They didn't ask to be born that day, so why should they have to deal with the people that would say, but it is christmas too so you don't need anything. the first year my parents did that to my daughter on their bdays which are by other gift giving holidays, valentine's and easter, they got the same treatment. that was the only time they did that after they got upset, i said and how do you think a child feels?
I always start shopping early, and usually pick up things during the year, so at that time , i have more than enough to split up between the two holidays.

My advice is to celebrate it as though it were just their bday, make plans and do it. If you have to travel, then if you can afford it, have two small parties, one there in va for family, and one at home for your friends, and as the child grows up their friends. The only thing you can do is try, and see what happens, because not everyone will care that it is at christmas like my father in law, he knew what alot of people would say so he and my mother in law make extra effort to make sure she gets her special day and my hubby's family has always made sure as well, as they understood, and i believe had some prodding from good ol pawpaw as all the grandkids call my father in law.

All the baby will ever really need is you and your immediate family, to make it a happy bday, the people that really count, as long as they have you and them that is all it takes to be special. The love of family is more than enough for most people.

Good luck hun,

Make sure your son knows that he is special, and make sure he has a day of his own. That doesn't mean spoil him rotten, just give him an individual day where he can have the attention on him, which may be hard during the holiday season. Take him out to do an event he likes, take him shopping, to his favorite restaurant. What have you, just so you and your spouse can spend a day with only him. I know this is what people who have a lot of children, or children who have birthdays near holidays do. That way the child doesn't feel neglected or that the holiday outweighs their own birthday.

It doesn't have to be expensive either, if they like sports like soccer or skating. Take them to a skate park or to the park and just play whatever sport they like.

When he wants a party, or if you guys want to throw him a party, you could always do it a week or so before his actual birthday or even a week or so after. You could do it holiday themed or not, just make sure the events are separate. Some people combine them, because they find it to be easier. But the point of birthdays are to celebrate ones birth, to know their existence is appreciated, and sometimes when a birthday is combined with a holiday(especially one with giving and getting gifts such as Christmas) the birthday part can somewhat become lost or take a backseat to the holiday. Then they think they were forgotten for that holiday.

I hope this made sense ^^;

Actually, my birthday is today so I can relate to this topic 100%. My parents were really good about separating the two dates...I always got birthday and Christmas presents but the rest of my family had a habit of grouping things into one big deal. I would get presents for Christmas and they would tell me "Oh this is for your birthday too, they're so close it made sense to do it this way." When I was little it bothered me a lot but when I got older it didn't matter as much. It's harder on young kids because they just don't understand so I agree with PRVN and Kori, do try to sepparate the two days if you can but if you can't you don't have to do presents for both days just go out of your way to make them feel special on your birthday. Now, unfortunatly I'm at the point where I try to forget that it's my birthday LOL one more year closer to 40...cries LOL!!!

My younger sister's birthday is on Dec 27th, so RIGHT after the Christmas holidays. Usually we don't celebrate it then, as we have just celebrated the Christmas and have visited family and so forth. Usually we celebrate my sis' birthday in January, around the Epiphany. She'll also have a separate party for her friends then, sometimes relatives will come over too.

I don't know how she feels about her birthday being so close to Christmas (she's turning 15 this year), but I've never heard her complaining about it.

It's a tricky balancing act for sure, but then again I think it also depends on the situation. I've noticed that the birthday will get less and less important the older one gets.

The important thing is to have a special day to celebrate your child, and him/her having been born. I don't think it will matter too much if that special day does not fall on the actual birthday. If you want to be safe, you could always have something special on the very day too in a smaller scale, like treating the child to his/her favourite food or such.

In any case, I wish you the best. And try not to stress about it too much, okay? :3

My birthday is Dec. 14th- yes, eleven days before Christmas, but still growing up some people would give me one gift for 'both' days. It seemed especially unfair because I have an uncle who's birthday is just 3 days after the holiday and yet he got separate gifts. My parents, directly, were very good about always making sure to celebrate my birthday & give me separate gifts.

While, unfortunately, you can't really do anything about family or friends that might try to do this without chancing insulting them, you can make a difference in how you and your immediate family handle the days. Though, perhaps suggest to friends and family that rather than buying the big, expensive gift for the li'l one, that they purchase two smaller or less expensive items instead so that they child doesn't feel left out of anything.

Back to you and your immediate fam- make sure to set aside a special day that's just for the li'l one. Even if the poor kid is born on Christmas, deliberately pick a day that is a week or so before or after (or more, depending on whether or not you celebrate 3 Kings Day). Establish that 'that' is the day that is just for them & make as much of a fuss about it as you do for you older child's day, even if all you do is take the family to dinner and get gifts. The imporaant thing is to be sure that you make it a day which the child will grow up looking forward to each year because you made it special for them.


*hugs* best of luck with the li'l one and the fam, sweetie!

Both mine and my husband's birthdays are in December. (I am the 7th, and he is the 15th)

I know my family would go out of their way to make sure I got a separate day, but I still felt a little miffed because every present I would get was something off my christmas list. (We were poor, so my parents would give us 3 wants and 3 needs. Needs were fulfilled first.)

So when Christmas would come around I WOULD notice that I got less than everyone else, but I never said anyhting. It sounds selfish, but I know my siblings all got "special" birthday gifts on their days whereas I more or less got an early Christmas. However, I did get cake. (and when your little, that means more than anything!)

This changed when I got older, and the money wasn't as much of an issue (Around my sixteenth birthday.) That was when my Dad started asking me for a birthday list. He said I couldn't have repeats for things on my birthday list and christmas lists. I did argue with him on this because by then I understood the financial reasoning behind it, but arguing with my dad is pretty futile.

It wasn't an intentional thing with my parents. They saw it as logical, but I think as they got older they started noticing the differences in their bringing up of us and how we were each treated differently. I think they were striving for equality.

So you can always do that: At least when your baby gets older. Make it a separate day by asking for a separate list, or by making sure that they know its their special day. (Again, the cake was enough for me for a long time because it had my name on it and stuff.)

My husband has felt the same way too-- that rather than a birthday he just got an early Christmas.

My hubby's birthday is on the 21st and his dad's is on the 23rd, so growing up he really got the raw deal. Not only did he have the Christmas birthday thing, but the day was also shared with his dad. Since we started dating, and now that we are married, we like to celebrate in June on his half birthday. There is something ridiculously fun about throwing half birthday parties! People don't have to contend with the holidays, plus the half part makes the day extra special.

For the kiddo, if you aren't into half birthdays, a big thing is just making sure to use birthday paper instead of holiday paper. It is a small thing, but I know it drives my hubby nuts. Another thing would be to ask for a seperate birthday wish list from a christmas wish list. A benefit of birthdays is that you don't need a holiday specific gift, so if money is an issue around the holidays, you could always buy a gift earlier in the year and hold onto it.

Hope this helps and congratulations on the impending arrival!

Wow. I wish I'd had some of you guys for family. My birthday is Dec. 26th. I grew up on the story that my mother was not worried about my birth, only that I would cause her to miss Christmas dinner. As a child I was always handed my presents on Christmas morning and told, 'Here, this is for Christmas and your birthday together'. As I got older and realized that my presents weren't any more expensive or special than my older brother's (whose birthday is in September by the way and was always celebrated) I began to understand what a load of bull I was being fed.

I think it was my 7th birthday that I made my own cake. I had gotten an E Z bake oven for Christmas. I have never had a birthday party, though I have attended hundreds over the years counting family and friends. This has continued throughout my life. No one even makes the effort at the lie anymore. Last year when I turned the big five o, my husband and sons even forgot to tell me Happy Birthday on the day. lol. They are still groveling.

I have learned to deal with it. Life is too short to care about such trivial matters at this point in my life. It did matter to me as a child though. I commend everyone in this thread who has made the effort to make that Christmas baby feel special. Even if it is just making a homemade cake and saying the words, it means a lot to a child.

The fact that you are worried about how to handle it before the child is even born, tells me that your child will never feel that you are neglecting them on their birthday. I hope you have an easy birth and a healthy child. Good luck.

I have five cousins who are all born in December. Three of them are from my mother's side on 3rd, 16th, and 31st and rest from father's on 6th,and 19th.
I don't know for sure, how Christmas affected on my father's side cousin's brithday gifts, or birthdays to Christmas gifts, but for mother's side cousins... no difference what so ever. The amout of gifts they got on Christmas was HUGE.

I remember having a joint party before Christmas for two of them, and we went to celebrate other two on Finland's Independence Day (6th). And our youngest had her celebrating in January (though she always has fireworks on her real birthday). And I never even though that it would be possible NOT to celebrate birthday on it's own. (I heard of such only at 16 when I met my friend who has bday on 21st) We always made sure to give gift on both occasions for all of them. It might not have been much, but that's how it was supposed to be and how it worked for us.

And only complaining of what I've heard from them, was when those two oldest ones had to celebrate together... I think it was the barbie cake that caused that little disagreement.

My brother has a birthday on Jan. 6th so not near or on Christmas but still close enough in date for people to complain over.
I honestly hate it when I hear family members of ours complain on it...it is his birthday, and sortof inducing labor herself my mom could do nothing to help pick what day he would be born on.

I would say spilt the presents down the middle when he is older since when he is smaller besides the first birthday, it won't mean anything to him. When he is older ask/tell him he can pick out certain things that will be his christmas presents and what will be his birthday ones.
If relatives complain over it just tell them they have a choice either buy for christmas or buy for his birthday, if they want to buy for both then its up to them.

All three of my best friends are December babies. We just set a day aside fir each of them to celebrate their special day. Then for Christmas we just hang out and grab snacks. Everyone chips in fir that and we don't give Christmas presents XP

I know you got a lot of advice and I tried to see if this is repeated but I don't have much time online left so I am going to say this and hope it helps and isn't a repeat.

I have two different friends, one born on Christmas day, one of Christmas eve. Their families did two different things when seperating birthday and Christmas.

My first friend (25)had parents that would make sure her birthday was celebrated after Christmas. They saved through the year to buy her seperate presents, and they made sure to take her out and treat her the same way as any of her siblings. My friend never complained, though her friends (not her really close ones) did do the all in one gift, her family never did so she never worried about it.

My second friend (24) celebrated her normal birthday with her family, but in the middle of the year around June or July she would hold a half birthday with her friends, so that this day would be a day just for her. I know that this really helped her feel like she had a normal birthday.

If you are really worried I would say make sure that any birthday gift that you buy your baby is equal to what any other child in the house gets. Saving through the year really helped my mom cause she had Christmas followed by my brother's birthday in January and then my birthday in Feburary and she made sure that each of us got the same amount (cost wise) for Christmas and then birthdays.

When I was in elementary school I had a friend whose birthday was exactly on Christmas. She said her family would buy two Christmas trees, one for Christmas and one for her birthday presents. I thought it was pretty cool to combine the two events, sort of like saying, "Your birthdays on Christmas! Isn't that so cool?" instead of saying, "You're birthdays on Christmas but its a separate matter entirely." And both of those work, you just have to choose what you want to say.

As for me, my birthday is really close to thanksgiving, but I never really though about how that effected it until I read this thread We weren't exactly rich when I was growing up, so I only remember one time when I had a really big birthday with tons of friends and balloons and confetti and scary robotic rats that sparked. (It was at Chucky Cheese XP) Other than that I had all small birthdays, went out to dinner, had some friends over, that sort of thing. I have to say, for me, the smaller party was better even if I got fewer gifts. But I'm also a tad bit antisocial... So I guess it depends on the kid, and you wont know what he or she wants for a while.

My maternal grandmother was actually born on Christmas Day. I have no idea how she handled it...

I do have a suggestion though. When your son gets older, why don't you try celebrating his half-birthday if he gets sad/mad about people giving him one gift for both Christmas and birthday? For instance, you say his due date is on Dec 30th? Well, if he's actually born on that day, later on, if he gets upset about the one gift thing, suggest celebrating his birthday on his half-birthday, which would be June 30th.

That way he can actually have some space between Christmas and "birthday." It's just a suggestion, though. It's up to you and your kid, though.

Oh, just realized the half-birthday idea was already posted... still, it's a good idea.

YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST. I really appreciate all the support and reassurance. I know some people are probably rolling there eyes as, in the grand scheme of things, this is such a minor issue to worry over. But for me its been really weighing heavily. Its a relief that so many of you say that its a valid concern. There were also tons of helpful suggestions. I've never thought of the half birthday thing... I'm not entirely sure about it, but its certainly something to consider!!! I may just celebrate like super early in the month or much later in January. I guess it will all fall in to place. You all have really helped to settly me nerves. Thank you THANK you THANK YOU!!!! I really adore you guys.

You're welcome, sweetie! *hugs*