Hi, this is ladybattousai, your friendly, neighborhood forum admin. There has been a recurring trend on the forum concerning rants and whining. Now, I normally don't make hard and fast rules when it comes to the forum. After all, the forum requires a certain amount of freedom of expression and I like to let participants express themselves.

But, this constant flow of negativity will have to stop. I understand that there are a lot of bad days out there and a lot of crappy jobs. I've had my share of each, but to burden it upon everyone who visits this forum is too much. We don't all need to be reminded of how much bad days suck.

Dokuga is meant to be something positive where we can be cheered up. These constant rants and bouts of whining do not contribute toward an uplifting atmosphere. And I will no longer permit them.

Now, I will permit the asking of questions if someone is in the middle of a dilemma, but choose your dilemma wisely. Here is a list of topics that are no longer permitted.

Why you hate your job/school/country/planet/solar system/galaxy
Why you hate your boyfriend/girlfriend/family/neighbor/body/vegetable/animal/mineral
Why you hate fanfiction/books/movies/music/art/glitter
My life sucks, here's why____________. Does your life suck too?

If you have a rant or complaint that even vaguely fits under this, please reconsider posting it or try posting it in a way where you're asking for advice without resorting to ranting or complaining in any fashion.

I've been having a hard time at my job, does anyone have any advice on how to work with a co-worker who does this ___________?

Even asking nicely like this however is placing a lot of responsibility for your emotional state on others. And although we're not quite strangers, we don't really know one another, so it's not fair or kind to put that burden on us.

From now on, I will be deleting anything that is a rant or an example of blatant whining. If you have a topic that you think might be skirting the line on this, then PM me and I will tell you how appropriate it is.

Okay, being someone who has not only started, but also contributed to, a few ranting threads, myself, I actually have to say I see where Lady B is coming from on this. Yes, Dokuga is a place we all come to for purposes like unwinding & getting away from our day . . . and that's the point. When you unload all your stress in a forum thread, you're releasing it from yourself (hopefully), but then it's being read by others who end up sharing in that either from past experience that made them feel a similar way, or they see the situation from your perspective & get angry & stressed on your behalf. Before you know it, one person's bad day/stubbed toe/argument with signigicant other turns into a seriously voluminous thread of 30 people just complaining about whatever.

Short version: If this is a place we come to for letting go of reality for a little while, than pouring your problems out in a forum thread is dragging everyone back to the thing they're trying to get away from (and yes, as I type this, I'm aware that I'm the one with the 'anger issues personified' profile image <_<).

(is the forum acting wiggy? 'cause I replied after Sesshy's Rose, but I'm way up here O_O)

ladybattousai wrote:
Creating a new category for it only exacerbates the situation, and encourages the negativity I was speaking of.

I considered this as well. And you're right. It does in fact exacerbate the situation...however:

Using places like blogs and such doesn't give you the interaction we seek here at Dokuga.

**Before I continue, please know that I am in no way meaning to challenge your decision. It is your decision as mod, and I respect that. I'm just trying to voice my little opinion here.

I like having a place where I can come to learn from others, be it writing tips, art tips, or life-in-general tips. If that life-in-general tip comes in the form of a whiny thread, then that's where it is.

I'm a person who likes to read things that go on with others' lives, and if it's good, I like to rejoice with them. If it's bad, I like to empathize with them, and help them get over their hardships. I guess because those types of threads never really bothered me personally, that I don't get this decision...

I like this! I really don't enjoy ranting and stuff like that, it is a pretty negative thing!

Hi... fixed your karma again!!

~~me~~
PS - Good call!

Ahh alrighty.

Thanks for letting us know!

I apologize about any negative threads I have started in the past(which I believe I have started a few) I understand completely about wanting to keep this site a happy one ^^ Especially since more people come here to relax from their day.

Now that I know what not to post, I'll make sure to follow the rules :3

I don't mean to question your logic...but this doesn't make sense to me. Why limit what we can talk about on a forum of like-minded people?

I don't always like the 'whine and complain' threads, but sometimes, people need to vent. In today's day and age, technology as allowed us to use forums as a place to do that. If I don't want to read a whiny thread, I just don't read it.

I know that things like this can bring people down, and that's understandable that you want to avoid it...but to censor the forums? I don't know...seems a little strict to me.

An idea I have seen implemented in other forums is to have a "Rant and Rave" section of the forums. That way, if you have something you want to get out, you can, and it keeps it separate from the rest of the board, so if someone wants to avoid threads like that, they can.

What do you think?

I like that idea. Sometimes I wanna get things off my chest and the people I talk to everyday (friends and family) are involved. I just wanna know I'm not the only one out there. Who knows, maybe people's real life experiences in the past can help others in the present.

To be honest, I considered all of these points for a long time, and that's why I haven't implemented any strict rules before this. I fully understand the need to vent or to look for others who might empathize with your situation.

But, a forum that focuses on reading and writing fanfiction isn't as suitable for that as an online blog or journal would be. There are specific places on the internet that are meant for daily ranting. Places where putting your emotional state on other people is expected and to a lesser extent encouraged.

Ranting and whining is a growing trend on this forum, and I'm not the only one who sees it as a problem. Creating a new category for it only exacerbates the situation, and encourages the negativity I was speaking of.

Sakuramaru wrote:

I like having a place where I can come to learn from others, be it writing tips, art tips, or life-in-general tips. If that life-in-general tip comes in the form of a whiny thread, then that's where it is.


If you re-read the original post, I believe ladybattousai, our esteemed Forum/Site Administrator (not just your ordinary mod, folks), mentioned that it would be better to ask for advice rather than simply carry on ranting or whining.

Obviously, the posts on teething, potty-training, animal care and selection, etc., have not been singled out as negative. If one is looking for advice, ask a question. If one simply wants to vent, a LiveJournal, Blog, or Facebook/Myspace post might garner the sort of sympathy and compassionate assistance that one is looking for. There is nothing preventing Dokugians from grouping together and exchanging URLs to their other online homes... in fact, I do believe we have a Dokuga group on Facebook, do we not?

What ladybattousai is trying to get at, and I concur, is that this site was started to provide a place for Sess/Kag fans to congregate and share their mutual interest in the pairing. At no time do I believe that the founders of the site envisioned that the forum would become a place where people could go to dump after a tough day. Hence this ruling.

Thank you all in advance for your cooperation in this matter... your assistance means all the world to your Site Admins, who, as you will remember, VOLUNTEER their time here.

~~WiccanMethuselah~~
Site Administrator

All I can say is yay! Thank you Lady-B. I tend to rant a lot myself, especially to my poor hubby, but coming on the forums was getting to be a drag with the constant negativity. I for one am completely happy about the new rule.

I'm glad that this has been implemented. I've always felt that rants are better kept to your own private blog or LJ.

I'm glad you think it's okay to ask for advice, though. When I asked for help figuring out what was wrong with my kitty, the knowledgable advice I got was priceless. Could have saved Kitty's life, actually.

+1

Dokuga is a supportive community- a happy place, if you will. I've not been around long and I know I pretty much have no right to speak here, but I'd like to think this place was made to be joyful. To make friends who share a common interest with yourself- a safe haven for good people to meet other good people.

Everyone has bad days... take it to friends outside of the forums. Negative threads are depressing, and usually end up offending someone whether they say it or not. (IE: I don't like X in fanfiction.) or (IE: I don't like it when people do X.) (IE: I don't like how talk like X) Someone on Dokuga is bound to have done it/do it/said it/say it. That hurts feelings. I understand why someone would want to do it and I agree that venting helps, I do it all the time. But do you really want everyone knowing your business?

I have a lot of Dokuga friends on messaging programs or websites. They are friends I trust and who share the same likes and opinions as me, or at the very least is open-minded and like to discuss things and give advice- or slap me if needed.

I recommend doing the same, if possible.


LadyB isn't saying don't rant or whine- just don't do it on Dokuga's forums. Smiles are contagious, but so are frowns. Chances are if you are seeking that social interaction here it's for a reason- like the supportive people or persons specifically. Ask them if you can vent on them.

Make friends, that's what Dokuga's about! (I think, LOL. It could be about taking over the world an converting it to SessKag.) Vent on them, let them vent on you... get over it, be happy!

I agree with Wiccan maybe some of us 'whoever it be' get together and make an LJ, Xanga, or whatever blog so that if you want people could vent there?

LadyB is correct this is a happy site and I know that I probably have a post or two that is whiny and I can see why she is saying what she is.

Completely supported. Dokuga used to be someplace I, at least, visited to get away from real life. Now it is very much a part of my real life. For more than two years, this site has been my haven for getting my mood up, making new friends and letting out my creativity in any way I please. In fact, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to say that because of Dokuga's no-judging-anyone atmosphere, this is the ONLY place I can be all of myself, without worrying about freaking people out to the point that they don't want to be in the same room with me till they're convinced I'm sane.

I'd much rather this place stays positive and happy. I support the ask-for-advice thing, but ranting's got to go.

Why would anyone want to whine and complain about what goes on in real life on the forum? I think it's inappropriate. If you want to complain about what goes on in life, do it somewhere else, not here. Dokuga is supposed to be a fun and happy place, a place to get away from the mundane things that go on in real life.

I have an idea I saw on another forum:

Create a GRIPE thread and any rants, gripes, complaints or whinges go there and ONLY there. No responses to the posts are necessary. People just click the thread, posts something like "LAUNDRY SUCKS AND I BROKE MY FAVORITE CURLING IRON!" or they can post a long rant.

It will keep that to one spot on the forum and leave everything else open.

To offset it, maybe open "AN AWESOME TOPIC!" where you post about awesome things that made your day.

I'm just suggesting, it's all up to you, boss.

hiro approves this RAEG AND TROLLS ARE BAD > keep it classy people

ladybattousai wrote:
Here is a list of topics that are no longer permitted.

Why you hate your job/school/country/planet/solar system/galaxy
Why you hate your boyfriend/girlfriend/family/neighbor/body/vegetable/animal/mineral
Why you hate fanfiction/books/movies/music/art/glitter
My life sucks, here's why____________. Does your life suck too?

First i want to say KAMI i'm sorry about the hair rant! i really didnt mean for it to turn into that! seriously! i just had a bit of a snap about tendrils! BUT

D: SKYE put you up to the glitter part didnt she?

Hair rant? I don't remember.

Glitter was just funny and worth ranting about, but I could say that Skye made me do it just because it sounds devious.

I am her puppet.

Haha, I remember the hair rant. It was terrifying. I am officially scared of meeting R0o in person while wearing a messy bun, for fear that she might kill me and claim victory over the tendrils.

I guess a little bit of whining won't hurt anyone, but it is tiring to see people posting about their horrible day. Dokuga should be a happy place.

Trouble_In_Shangri_la wrote:
I have an idea I saw on another forum:

Create a GRIPE thread and any rants, gripes, complaints or whinges go there and ONLY there. No responses to the posts are necessary. People just click the thread, posts something like "LAUNDRY SUCKS AND I BROKE MY FAVORITE CURLING IRON!" or they can post a long rant.

It will keep that to one spot on the forum and leave everything else open.

To offset it, maybe open "AN AWESOME TOPIC!" where you post about awesome things that made your day.

I'm just suggesting, it's all up to you, boss.

Only problem with making 'venting' threads like that is that rules start to get bent very far. (i have had issues with this in past with older sites I had.) Members start bashing members, or cursing and MA matters begin flooding the topics (and not many marked). While it can be used in a good way, it can also make some terrible disasters.

This one isn't a problem, but more like something that can also cost a lot of space on a site. The venting, while can ge out of hand with anger and also sprout thousands of topics. Certain sites I've seen already have limitations on how many topics there can be, for it can run them out of space for other things. (That and make them pay out money they may not have.)Though,not saying this expansion would be an issue, or even the money (with the way we donate to keep it alive). I just am being general for some sites.

in the end, I do agree with the ranting and whining decision. I'm sure in the past I probably have, even though my memory on such things is foggy. (i can't remember anyone on this sites rants. Perhaps the silly images on other topics distracted my happy, giddy brain enough.) It can cause too much negativity. And yes, I agree with advice being okay too. I do remember posting a lot of topics on adivce in the past or tips. Those usually ccause a ppositive response.

I'm sorry I type so much. and I am sorry for any grammatical errors. I'm trying to see the screen through bright sunlight with burning hot keys. (Also, the shift key doesn't want to work.) I hope i caught them all, but I'm sure the gist of what i said is understood.

This is a fanfiction sight for Sesshomaru and Kagome fans can write or draw pictures and post them for other fan's pleasure, so why even start complaining about things not concerning this sight is beyond me. There are other sights for such activities such as facebook for example. I agree that whining and such should not be allowed here.