I'm a nurse and I see death a lot. It's always been right before or right after. Most of the time if somebody is coding when they come in, they won't shock back to life like on TV.

When somebody has cancer or another terminal ailment, death is a process that takes place over time. Every person is different. The sounds a person makes when they're very near the end is scarily similar to the gurgle of a coffee maker.


And then there are sudden deaths, which is what I saw today. I'm still so shaken up by it. You'd think a nurse sees it all - honestly I haven't. If I say I have, something comes up to prove me wrong.

In any case...

A gentleman in his mid fifties came in with some chest pains that worried him. He was taken RIGHT in because chest pains aren't something you fool around with. I took down his history while he was sitting with the gurney partly reclined. The poor guy was SO upset that I asked him to tell me about what he does for fun to take his mind off it while I charted his vitals.

He smiled at me and started to say something about rock climbing. Suddenly, his face just sort of froze for a second. His eyes looked past me, and I swear I saw a light going out behind them. Then his eyes rolled back and his jaw spasmed open and he slumped backwards and lapsed into agonal breathing. Agonal breathing is a type of breathing that happens when the heart goes into fibrillation. The lungs take in air, but the oxygen doesn't go anywhere because the heart is quivering instead of beating properly. A person in this state WILL DIE if somebody doesn't start CPR and defibrillate right away.

I called a code blue and began chest compressions, but we couldn't bring him back. We tried. We tried.

All of this happened so fast. One heartbeat this man was talking to me and the next, he was dead of a massive heart attack. I don't think he knew it was coming until the last fleeting second when he stared through me...


That man was somebody's husband, somebody's father, and in a second he was taken from this world. Fortunately there was no suffering. Just a momentary look of surprise and then lights out.

I think the light I saw disappear was his soul. I really do. He went SOMEWHERE else.



Love the people dear to you. There is NO knowing when their time will come.

*huggles*

I can't agree MORE...

I'm okay with it now, but when it happened it messed with my head a lot. That face he made right when his heart crapped out is probably gonna haunt me for eternity.

Things like that are just one more reason I couldn't go into the medical field (along with my fear of needles and the squicks from blood, though that is besides the point). It must be a haunting thing, having the person you were just speaking to or tending to die so suddenly, with little or no warning. I wonder how many people give medical personnel consideration with the subject of death. A certain amount of heart has to go into the profession, so it isn't just the family of the deceased who is aching.

I know a lot of hospitals offer counseling for the family of patients, but do they also extend that offer to the staff?

On a side note, thank you for everything that you do as a nurse. The doctors may be one of the many driving forces behind a hospital staff, but I think that the nurses are the heart and soul.

Thank you.

I am all right now. I've seen some pretty disgusting and horrible things. I might have had more trouble with it had that sweet man been somebody in my own family. Inklings of things I've seen wander into my fics from time to time, actually. Writing is great catharsis. I am actually working on a giant AU fic where Sesshoumaru turns up unconscious in the LTC (long term care) facility where Kagome works as a nurse after the Well closed off on her. Had to go back and adjust a lot after Bakusaiga shows up on the show/manga, since he originally showed up with one arm. Blah.

The humor in THAT is just showing up in a coma is enough for Sesshoumaru to wreak havoc on her emotional state. All the other nurses are perving over him and she is just "WTF?! WHY MEEEEE?!" It's morbidly hilarious.

Nurses tend to develop morbid senses of humor to manage the things we deal with. It's the same with cops and coroners. We get spooked, we discuss it, then we find something funny about it to survive and move on. The rewards are worth it, even if the reward is a stinky bedpan after an enema

I can't wait to read that story! It sounds like it would have me hooked already. I loved your series of stories concerning disabilities, and I'm sure you'll do amazing things with the topic of that story as well.

Sesshoumaru will be just as big a mess as Kagome. There was a reason he ended up in that state and a demon with post traumatic stress disorder is NOT pretty. I'm a fan of stories where Sesshoumaru's shell gets cracked. ^^;

I do need to write more Bliss! fics...I am very tempted to do a little sequel to Risks in the Dark where Kagome gets her sight back, but Sesshoumaru can't. (HE would be FINE with that just like he seemed fine about his arm). I'll have to see where my brain goes.

You are totally making my day with these ideas! I revisit Bliss! now and again, especially Wheels and Risks in the Dark, so I'd love to see a continuation. I'm so close to fangirl flailing right now XD

Ahahaha ^^ Thanks.

Funny though, I keep imagining Sesshoumaru's favorite modern day outfit being a white satin kung fun shirt with a gold trim and either white slacks or jeans.

Btw this is what a kung fu shirt looks like in case somebody doesn't know (This one doesn't have the gold trim I imagine, but you get the idea):

That would be very suited to him. It's still got the freedom of his feudal era clothing, but also the modernness to it that no one would turn a blind eye to him as he traipsed through modern Tokyo. I'm not sure if I could see him in jeans. I always picture his modern counterpart as someone with exquisite tastes in clothing, preferring something that came out of Milan during Men's Fashion Week, or something straight out of Paris. Only the finest of the fine.

Trouble_In_Shangri_la, I salute you on being a Nurse! I just wanted to let you know that all your hard work is appreciated!

I'm a RNA (or STNA in Ohio) and I work in a LTC facility. This facility has LTC, hospice, TLC (our Alzheimer’s unit), assisted living and a short term (hospital to home) section. I understand the feelings of losing patients, the ones we work with become like family to you. You see them everyday. It can come suddenly or overtime. I have also lost a loved one, my grandmother, so I too know what the families go through. If you have any questions about the roles of a NA on a care unit or a LTC facility for your fic, I might be of some assistance. I work on the short term section and one of the long term ones. I would be more than happy to help.

On a side note, you mentioned that the nurses develop a morbid sense of humor to deal with the things they see, well believe me, the patients (or residents) do too.

<3 to Momo. I imagine he'd wear jeans that are super expensive, but at the moment he's kind of stuck with what Kagome can afford, and it isn't much. He's hilarious about it too because when she says she can't afford something, he tosses aside the catalogue in disgust.

phishbon - I kinda have Kagome all over the place for drama's sake. Realism where it's important and dramatizing where I feel it's necessary to make the fic work. It's something I learned about TV and movies and books - that sometimes the drama and emotion are what is important. I have Kagome showing up in places a nurse like her would NEVER go But that makes it FUN.


I KNOW some patients can be wickedly funny! Had a pt come in with a screwdriver impaled through his foot, and he said he got screwed as I was helping him to X-ray. HAHAHA!

Oi, I told myself I wouldn't talk shop on this forum, and what do I do? I shall be quiet about it unless it relates to the fic. Haha.

Randome post yay.

The important thing is that he wasn't alone when he passed, he had you, and you gave a damn. He was a lucky person to have someone right there with him - caring. Now go write your brains out! And Sesshoumaru wouldn't be caught dead in ANYTHING that wasn't Armani!

Thanks. That man wasn't alone and he wasn't scared when it happened. That IS what is important.


Oh, hell, I'll tease you people some.


-

She closed the notebook and looked over at the figure on the bed. Considering how long he'd been unconscious and the faintness of his aura, she figured once he awoke he would have to relearn how to do everything all over again.

Giving physical therapy to a demon who would probably bury his nose in a bedpan rather than accept human help...this should be fun.

Later that night, just as Kagome was preparing for bed, Sesshoumaru had another surge. Kagome hurried to his bedside and used the towel on his pillow to dab the sweat off his brow.

He opened his eyes!

"Sesshoumaru? It's Kagome. Hey..." she moved her hand past his drooping, watery eyes. "Can you follow my hand?"

There was no response.

She tried shining her penlight into his eyes. Sesshoumaru blinked a lot and his pupils reacted to the light, but he wouldn't follow it when she passed it back and forth near his face. His gaze stayed pointed ahead, devoid of focus.

"Can you wiggle your fingers for me?"

Nothing.

Kagome pinched his arm, causing him to grunt and shift his entire body on the mattress.

"Okay...okay...shhh." Taking his hand, she stroked his knuckles in attempt to calm him. Reflex closed his fingers, a movement often mistaken for a conscious reaction by people who didn't understand the mechanics of a coma. Kagome knew he'd grip anything that touched his palms.

The surge ended. Sesshoumaru's eyelids fluttered shut. His hand relaxed and he slipped back into the void.

A tease! You are wicked

I definitely can't wait for this one now!