Minu- Sat 05 Apr 2008
I'm slower than you.I haven't updated my stories since last year.Great story.Keep it up no matter how long it takes.

Mniu- Sat 05 Jan 2008
You said give you a chance and i did and i looooooooooooooooooved it! It had me blushing!LOL

Kaiganeru- Sat 10 Nov 2007

This is more of a technical review.

Even in a first story or when starting to write, or perhaps most importantly when starting to submit material, it is very important to try to pay attention to basic punctuation and capitalization - and grammar, usage, spelling, etc.

Starting sentences without caps, misspellings, things of this nature which can be so easily rectified, all will detract from the enjoyment your reader will take from your story.

Grammar in particular - the lack of a comma where one is needed, creating a run-on sentence, in turn creating confusion -- these are things you can fix before you upload your stories.

Everyone can run a spellchecker over their story before submission. I don't mean to sound strict, but if you get into good habits now, your work will only improve for it.

Also, for many readers, seeing basic errors is a red flag - you don't want people to turn from your work before they have a chance to see if they will enjoy it - cleaning up basic errors of usage is one way to ensure that your work will be read and judged on its merits.

Best wishes and good luck :)

Black child- Sun 21 Oct 2007
i like it a lot please update soon its
so kew(cool)


yamiyo tenshi- Sat 20 Oct 2007
still a little confused but i like it so far!!!!!!!!!!


yamiyo tenshi- Sat 20 Oct 2007
I meant slow not show.

hehe ^_^''

yamiyo tenshi- Sat 20 Oct 2007
Kinda confusing, cool but confuse. I'll definaltly read then next ch to see were this is heading. i really don't mean this to sound mean or anything but you should show the story some to put more detail in otherwise a good start. Hope you continue

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