Granted but the delivery guy trips in your yard and your amazing pizza lands topping side down in mud.

I wish I had some chocolate ice cream.

You have chocolate ice cream, but it is a year expired.

I wish Netflix would post more anime.

Granted, but Netflix is now flooded with Hentai anime in english dubs.

I wish I would win the lottery.

Granted, but after all the taxes, you end up owing money.

I wish I could control time.

Granted but you can only do it once every ten years!


I wish I had the cure for the common cold!!!

You're cure only works every new moon, and only on fifteen people at a time

My wish: to get rid of all motor vehicles and go back to horse and buggy ^_^

Granted, but right when you get in your buggy, it breaks down and your horse runs away, leaving you stranded in the middle of nowhere.

I wish I had some creme brulee.

Granted, though it's only a spoon full and it dropped into a red ant hill.

I wish my dog would stop chewing on the wall.

Granted, but he/she begins to chew on your furniture instead.

I wish I could go away on vacation.

Granted but when you arrive there is an error with your hotel room and you spend the next few hours searching for a hotel to stay in. The only room you can find is in a dirty little motel that rents rooms by the hour. Your room is so dingy and horrible looking that you are afraid to sleep in it. You recover from your dissapointment at your room and look forward to eating a nice meal in a fancy resteraunt. Your meal is delicious, but shortly afterwards you start feeling ill. You end up with food posioning and have to spend the rest of your vaction in your crappy motel room.

I wish I was sleepy.

Granted, but its only for ten minutes and you have to spend it with Martha Stewart ^_^

I wish money wasnt so important

Granted, but now looks are more important.

I wish my hair would grow longer.

Granted, but it's full of split hairs that no amount of love and care will fix.

I wish I can find my missing project shirts.

Granted but when you find them several has shrunk so they can only fit a baby, more have holes in them because they got stuck on something, and some are shredded by an unknown beast that you can only identify the collar of the shirt.

I wish that I can get to my ideal weight than the weight I'm at right now.

granted but as a result, your only allowed to eat in the alloted time between five am and eight am. After that, your mouth wont open for food.

I wish time had the ability to stand still

Granted. It now follows you wherever you go and stop your movements at random intervals while everyone else is free to do as they please. And since Time is following only you, everyone else can enjoy eternal youth while you age normally, if not a bit faster.

I wish I had a bloodhound.

Granted. However, he runs away the next day and is never to be found. Such a pity.

I wish my boyfriend didn't snore so loudly.

Granted, but now instead of snoring he talks in his sleep and it is even louder than the snoring.

I wish my throat wasn't sore.

Granted, but as you jump for joy you break your leg. It must now be amputated.

I wish human beings were not as weak, in comparison to long-lived or immortal beings.

Granted, but now they all look like Arnold Schwarzenegger.

I wish my knitting would just do itself.

Granted, however, you do not know how to stop it and soon threatens to cover the entire earth in one big knitted blanket. Ouch. ^_^

I wish me and johnny depp could stay young forever and live on a private island, where he can wear nothing but his pirate clothes, and never leave me. ^_^ yus!

Granted, but he can never take the clothes off for -any- reason. *eww, bad smells*

I wish there were more Sess/Kag doujin.

Granted but its very poorly drawn and is full of cheesy lines.

I wish I had telekinetic powers! (have fun with that one lol)

Granted, but the only things your powers will move are reading materials and unfortunately it only pushes them away. Even when you try to bring up fan fiction on your computer your powers sense it and push it away from you. Now you are doomed to never again knowing the pleasure of sitting down to a good book.

I wish it would snow.

Granted: You are now snowed in, see you in July.

I wish I didn't have diabetes.