Go to sleep.

I don't know if I want to buy one or two pizzas, what do I do?

Buy five, eat three of them all at the same time, then stick with the remaining two.

I need to get some work done, but I love sitting on my computer. What should I do?

Glue your work to the computer screen. That way you'll have to get it done before you sit at the computer all day! (Now, the only real issue is getting it off... but who cares, right?)

I keep losing my game catridges... What should I do?

Glue them to a wall. Now you'll never lose them again.
Or
Lose them and don't bother looking for them. Can't lose what you don't have.

I can't avoid stepping in dog poop! What should I do?

Give up on shoes! Feet are easier to wash!

My eight year old cousin is going through a phase where he has decided to only breathe through straws. What do I do?

Give him a flute and tell him it's a straw. That way he'll have an instrument learned by the end of his phase!

The people who own the tofu shop said that they're taking out the added-sugar soy milk! What do I do?

Eat chocolate instead.

I wanna get onto Chat but can't cuz I'm at work. What do I do?

Run home under the pretense of a stomach flu.

I need a new laptop, but I don't want to buy one. What should I do?

Simple! Just take a compy from work or school. say you are borrowing the materials to complete some work.

I need to clean the tub. What's the best way of going about it?

This one's easy. Just buy some acid and dump it right in! Dirt and lime stains won't stand a chance!

I want chocolate, how do I go about getting some?

go to your local supermarket in nothing but your under0os and a superman cape, start screaming about the economy, and then steal it... i promise you no one will even notice the candy.

I'm hot what should i do?

Wear a bikini everywhere and attach yourself to the nearest millionaire.
Or do you mean the other hot?
'Cause then you should go take a nap in the freezer in your unmentionables.

I lack a superman cape. What should I do?

LMAO

Go to your next ComicCon, and molest a pubescent superman fan in cosplay, steal his and make sure you give him your facebook, email, text#, and any other way for him to obsessover you.

I'm being annoyed by plunnies what should i do?

Grab a large stick and whack yourself/plunnies over the head. Either way works.
OR
Give them as a gift to the pubescent superman fan you stole the cape from and who is currently obsessing over you.

I have a monster in my closet. What is the best way to be rid of it?

Feed him lots and lots of turnips.

I can't use the tummy bug excuse to run home....someone already took it. What can I do?

Stand up and move to the front of the room. When everyone had their attention on you, start removing clothing. Start with the smallest piece of clothing on the outside, probably a watch or a hairband, then move onto the larger things like your shirt and pants. By the time you get to your underwear, your teacher/boss will be more than happy to let you go home.

I really want to by a new game that is coming out but I don't have any money. What should I do?

The bosses aren't here today..... and well, that one's easy! Go shoplifting!

I'm torn between two choices for dinner - eggs and cheese sandwiches, or Mc Donalds. Neither is appealing. what do i do?

Eat neither and survive on air!

I really want to go on a shopping spree but I don't have the time. What should I do?

Rob someone about your size coming out of the mall who has alot of shopping bags. Don't forget the getaway car! (Not getaway bike!)

My hot food is cold. What should I do?

Place all food in microwave. Stare at microwave. After appliance is fully intimidated, it should turn on and heat your food.

My feet are cold. What should I do?

Start a fire and warm them over it. Be sure to put them really close to the flames.

My laptop keeps refusing to work. What should I do?

Hit it repeatedly with an inflatable hammer.
I can't sleep, what should I do?

Knock yourself out by repeatedly head-desking yourself. Hey, you've got time... and it's not like the desk is going anywhere anytime soon.

It's too hot, what should I do?

Move to the North Pole.

I have to fix my scanner. What should I do?

Toss it out the window into on coming traffic

I have writers block, what should I do?