Ever the classic!
For those of you that have never heard of this before, the rules are simple: the poster before you makes a wish, then you describe how it happens but is corrupted, then make your own wish. For example:
Wish: I wish I was a millionaire.
Corrupted: Your wish is granted. A programming error transfers a million dollars from Bill Gates's account to yours, but you are accused of Internet theft and a jury finds you guilty as charged. You'll be out with good behavior in ten years.
The rules are simple enough.
1) No paragraph-long wishes or wishing for "everything exactly how I want it."
2) If you corrupt a wish, you have to wish for something else.
3) Keep it in good humor please.
I'll start us off:
I wish I had a soda.