As a long-time lurker in these sorts of things, I've come to a rather startling and chortle-inducing trend in most S/K fanfics: the long list of dirty proclivities projected on poor poor Hojo.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that Hojo falls into the "Sad Human Being School of Characters" due to his eerie pursuit of our time-traveling heroine that reeks vaguely of damp dog. As I saw it, he was the normal chap that every girl could take on a normal date, expect the industry standard of 1.5 attempts to cop a feel, and then sigh wistfully about just how blandfully normal he is. He's the one of the only fellows that Mrs. Higurashi could leave in a room alone for five minutes and not come back to a scene looking vaguely of Alamogordo, New Mexico, on July 16, 1945.

That being said, Hojo has had the entire volume of DSM-IV shoved down his throat then told to go forth in fanfiction and cavort about as a serial monkey rapist or whatever it is the story needs.

Need a character that has ADHD and a turtle fetish? Hojo.

How about some poor sod that obviously read Pyramid Head's Guide to Social Interactions (while dressing in a torn clown suit)? Hojo.

In fact, I'm sure there is some table in a Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition Crazy Cocked-Up NPC supplement everyone is rolling their D20 on to figure out how Hojo will ungainly dryhump his way through the story.

Now, let it be said I have absolutely no sympathy for Hojo. That's like having sympathy for the guy that has to restock the uncomfortably cold gel supply betwixt patients at the OB/GYN office. He's a necessary evil that you might occasionally run into in the hallway and share a moment of awkward silence with. Thus is the nature of Hojo. He is the weird creeper kid whose entire fanfiction life is spent chasing after women with turkey basters full of birdseed or whatever the story calls for and it is a valuable service he provides.

So thank you, Hojo. We appreciate the solid work you've put in. Now get back to molesting Sesshoumaru's dad with a trout because this story isn't going to write itself.

Freakin' AWESOME post!!!!

Laughed myself silly!

Yes, thank you, Hojo!!!!!!!!!!!!

~~Wiccan~~

ROFLMAO! And you're right, we owe Hojo a lot! He is such good fodder that we take full advantage of!

@-@
Wow I am rolling with laughter with what you have said...

AHAHAHHAHAH loved your post. And it's so true.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE this post, it had me roflmfao!

Well said!

LMAO. Amen.

This post is hurrlaireeus. And I sho' nuff laughed my booty off.

...trout.

/snicker

Ishkerayot wrote:
As a long-time lurker in these sorts of things, I've come to a rather startling and chortle-inducing trend in most S/K fanfics: the long list of dirty proclivities projected on poor poor Hojo.

Now, I'll be the first to admit that Hojo falls into the "Sad Human Being School of Characters" due to his eerie pursuit of our time-traveling heroine that reeks vaguely of damp dog. As I saw it, he was the normal chap that every girl could take on a normal date, expect the industry standard of 1.5 attempts to cop a feel, and then sigh wistfully about just how blandfully normal he is. He's the one of the only fellows that Mrs. Higurashi could leave in a room alone for five minutes and not come back to a scene looking vaguely of Alamogordo, New Mexico, on July 16, 1945.

That being said, Hojo has had the entire volume of DSM-IV shoved down his throat then told to go forth in fanfiction and cavort about as a serial monkey rapist or whatever it is the story needs.

Need a character that has ADHD and a turtle fetish? Hojo.

How about some poor sod that obviously read Pyramid Head's Guide to Social Interactions (while dressing in a torn clown suit)? Hojo.

In fact, I'm sure there is some table in a Dungeons and Dragons 2nd Edition Crazy Cocked-Up NPC supplement everyone is rolling their D20 on to figure out how Hojo will ungainly dryhump his way through the story.

Now, let it be said I have absolutely no sympathy for Hojo. That's like having sympathy for the guy that has to restock the uncomfortably cold gel supply betwixt patients at the OB/GYN office. He's a necessary evil that you might occasionally run into in the hallway and share a moment of awkward silence with. Thus is the nature of Hojo. He is the weird creeper kid whose entire fanfiction life is spent chasing after women with turkey basters full of birdseed or whatever the story calls for and it is a valuable service he provides.

So thank you, Hojo. We appreciate the solid work you've put in. Now get back to molesting Sesshoumaru's dad with a trout because this story isn't going to write itself. i like how that's your first port ever. I gave you karma for that.

If I could give you more than one karma point for that, I so would! You need to come into chat and spread more of your snark there!

::rolls around wheezing from all the laughter::

LMAO! Oh gods, this had me laughing so hard my eyes were tearing.

Wow... my screen is blurry from the tears of laughter.... Karma for you! I would definitely like to see more post like this from you.

Roglmfao!

That's hilarious! And so true.. :'D

I've never really given him THAT MUCH thought, but you are right. He's such a sad, sad, waste of human flesh, but what would we do without him.