i feel clique for using Tales From the House of Moon but this part always made me laugh and i remember one day being in the situation where the boy did nothing and i was so pissed cuz he did...nothing haaha so from then on this has always stuck with me


Kagome saw Fuyu's eyes narrow fractionally.

"Are you all right, girl?" the old woman demanded.

The old woman's eyes narrowed further. "It wasn't that youkai was it?" she snapped.

"What?" Kagome said again, thoroughly lost. "What wasn't him?"

What," Fuyu said, her voice filled with a hard, rough menace, "did he do to you?"

Kagome took a step backwards. "What?" she cried. "What are you talking about? He didn't do anything to me!"

There was a pause while the old miko glared at her a little more, seemingly for dramatic effect, before nodding her head curtly, as though some fundamental piece of a puzzle had suddenly dropped into place.

"I see," she said solemnly. "That is a problem."



it really is and all who have been in this situation realize how frustrating it is haha

i just thought this was outrageously funny and weird, this is from love in the corporate ladder by: inuyasha-n-kagome-rox142

Sweating profusely, Inuyasha peeked at his own cards.

“Um… fold.”

“Match,” Kagura said, not at all caring about the ridiculously high stakes Sesshoumaru was putting up. She tossed five gummy bears onto the growing pile.

Jakotsu seemed to take forever to think. “Match,” he said reluctantly. Jakotsu had the smallest pile of gummy bear chips; not that he kept losing, but that he kept eating them.

“Fold,” Bankotsu said.

“Show cards,” Miroku said, his hand stretching so ever so slightly…

Kagura glared at him. “Pervert, if you even think you can get away with it…”

Miroku’s hand shot back from where it had been creeping closer to the unconscious Sango and Kagome.

“Um, flush,” Jakotsu said.

“Full house,” Kagura said in delight.

“Straight,” Sesshoumaru said, calmly flipping over his cards.

He was greeted with loud wails of, “I could’ve sworn you were bluffing!”

“Ok, next round.” Miroku collected the cards and shuffled them.

“I don’t like poker,” Inuyasha said.

“Yeah, because you’re losing,” Bankotsu pointed out.

Sesshoumaru cleared the pile in the middle. Everyone placed one gummy bear in the middle, and the game started again.

“I have to win this one,” muttered Kagura. There was a red gummy bear in the pile, and damned if she wasn’t eating it.

“No, I’m winning.” There was a purple bear there and Jakotsu was having it, who cared about Kagura.

But Bankotsu was the one who won, and he immediately ate the red and purple.

“HEY!” Kagura looked tortured. “The red…”

Sango stirred.

“Cold cloth time,” mumbled Jakotsu.

“Stop mumbling, it’s your turn to go,” Inuyasha teased.

“I’ll go,” Miroku said.

“No, you won’t,” Kagura snapped. “I’ll go.” She sauntered off to the bathroom, coming back with two icy cold towels. Carefully, she placed the two on Kagome and Sango, before returning to her poker cards.

She glanced at her pile, before glaring at the rest. “Who stole some of my gummy bears?”

“You must’ve eaten them in your sleep,” Inuyasha offered.

“Besides, they were only pineapple, nothing special,” Jakotsu complained.

“And how…” Kagura advanced menacingly, “did you know it was pineapple?”

From Lady_Mist's "The ABC's of Family Life."

"This Sesshoumaru does not gut fruits."

Miss Kagura's Hot Firemen

"I make all colors sexy" - Sesshoumaru

And yes you do!

"It had all been a dream!"


The devastating reveal from Atonement by Miss Kagura.

phishbon3s wrote:
She Who the Prophecy Foretold by Sunset Miko
Chapter 37 - A Miko Belt or 'Damn it! Put Me Down!'

"Sesshoumaru?" she whispered.

"Yes, Kagome?"

"Are we still in the tree?"

"Yes, Kagome."


This always tickled the hell out of me.

Awwww! I'm on the list!

*Turns around and hides so no one hears the squee*

Another Tales from the House of the Moon by Resmiranda quote (I started reading this thread to find some new stuff and I absolutely love this story). Kagome's thoughts regarding Sesshoumaru and his views on her personal hygiene.

Sesshoumaru was just going to have to deal with the fact that she was a human being, and human beings collected dirt like rats collected bubonic plague.

Ew. Plague. And rats.

Haha, I felt the need to add this little quote from the same story. I might do this again, though. Too many hilarious moments in this story

Kagome entertained the small hope that, if the miko were indeed she, the whole bit about the battle was exaggeration. Maybe the miko and the madoushi played a friendly game of spades, settling the conflict like civilized people instead of poking at each other with pointy things. Somehow, though, that did not seem to be terribly likely, especially since that would mean she would get a break.

haha particularly love the part about 'poking at each other with pointy things' I read that and literally laughed aloud.

So I've decided that this also deserved to be recognized:

Gazing down the long wooden shaft of her arrow, Kagome leveled her sight at her age-old enemy and took careful aim.

All right, she thought with determination, I don't like you, and you don't like me, but only one of us is going to walk away from this, and I'm going to make damn sure it's me.

For some reason, this did not sound quite right. She paused.

Well, okay, she conceded after a second's thought, I guess no matter what the outcome, only one of us is going to walk away because you're a tree and trees can't walk. And if they did I wouldn't want to know about it, because that would just be creepy.

Still! The fact remains that I have to shoot you with this arrow, and I'm probably going to do it badly and then get hit with the spoon. Which is made of wood. Which was once a tree.

So it all evens out, I guess.

Ok so as I was reading FF there were so many lines that I just didn't want to forget so I kept them in a word document. Thing is I didn't write down the names of the FF they came from. But I'm sure you can find them in the 60 or so stories I've favorited on my fanfiction.net account.

Follow link: www.fanfiction.net/u/1675367/

There are to many to count so I'm going to put up a shorter list here. I have the full one on the main page of my profile on Dokuga. Every single one of these made me laugh out loud. I like to read it to get me in a happy writing mood.



- I heard what he said, but I pretended I hadn’t. That was something I was not ready to give answers about. Being human is nice sometimes, you can make those with superhuman abilities think you aren’t as adept at doing things as you are, and they just take it in stride. Suckers.

-She dares narrow her eyes at me? How intimidating does she think she looks with her hands balled up into little fists, she looks no fiercer than Rin does when she is picking flowers.

-"Hey! I knew what I was doing! .... kinda." Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously.

-Sesshoumaru's eyes widened noticeably, and his whole being stilled. Kagome thought he looked stunned.

-This whole exchange was lost on the humans present. None of them spoke possessive demon fluidly enough to have caught it.

-Wearily, Kagome used what was left of her failing strength to lift her head so that she could see the one that had come to her aid at the last minute…the VERY last minute…more like second actually.

-He would have bet his left arm. Oh, wait; he didn’t have a left arm. Pity.

-Sesshomaru lifted an eyebrow at the girl. The energy around him was becoming nearly annoying. Surely, it was not enough to cause any real harm to him; but still, it wasn’t very good for his skin.

-Inu Yasha is practicing death glares with some trees. Poor, innocent trees.

-How come he is most devastating when he’s monosyllabic?

-Oh great gods, all eight thousand of you.

-Maybe if he cut out her tongue? But then she’d probably moan quite a bit.
And why did that thought make his ears tingle?

-If he didn’t know better… no, best not to think of it. Thinking of it would only acknowledge it and acknowledging insignificant things only made them feel important. He’d already learned that lesson from his dealings with his half-brother.


-I continued to stare at her while a million and one ‘why’ questions were going through my head before I had finally decided that this was a waist of my time.


-"Cos' they'll eat Jaken first."

-“Please?” Kagome battered her eyelids.
“That’s disgusting.”
“Oh okay, I’m disgusting, now help me out! You idiot!”

-No, must’ve been his imagination. Yes, that was it. His imagination. He still wasn’t sure he possessed one though.

-while Inuyasha was busy saving Kikyo….of course. ‘Why is she always there, when we’re trying to fight anyway?’

-No fights were ever pretty in the feudal era, especially when it involved fighting for a female.

-Amused you, did I, she wanted to snap back, then bash him over the head with her first aid kit. Though she was pretty sure that wasn’t what it was intended for.

-Sesshoumaru could feel the anger in her aura, and it honestly frightened him slightly. Once again, he wondered what his own defense to purification was.

...and thats the edited version.

This is one of my favortie stories:: Simply Business by Mikazuki Tsuki
Its a great story.
Well this si one of my favortie part of the story::

As soon as they entered the scent of frying foods and cooking meat filled the air. Kagome giggled at Sesshoumaru’s grimace.

“I guess Mr. Businessman isn’t used to fatty, oily, junk huh?”

The look he gave her could have frozen over hell. “I would rather still be living after fifty, with out the use of dialysis.”

Kagome stuck out her tongue and pulled him over to the line.

“Well if you are to completely make up for your ‘...inexcusable behavior,’” she made quote marks in the air as she mocked him, “Then you’ll order something.”

Sesshoumaru rolled his amber eyes, “I am not order—”

“Then I’ll order for you. Simple as that.”

She sounded like a reprimanding mother, with caused Sesshoumaru to let out a wry chuckle. Kagome hadn’t heard it however for, she suddenly grinned, “We’re up.”

The cashier was a young man with a flirty grin and twinkling dark eyes. He seemed hell bent on working his charm.

“So,” he leaned over seductively and purred, “Can I help you?”

It was a miracle itself that Sesshoumaru didn’t run out of that place, scarred completely for life.

The partial innuendo was aimed towards him.

Kagome covered her mouth to smother her giggles.

“Hi,” she tried to ignore the guy’s annoyed glare, “Um two number 1’s and two large orders of fries. One cherry slushy and one coke slushy... Um and one order of those chicken strip things...Oh! And two of those Oreo cake things...”

Jakotsu with a small roll of his eyes pointed to a glass case that showcased the sweets, inside was her desired cake.

Kagome smiled, “Yeah, that one. Two of those.”

His glare was really making her nervous. Hopefully he wouldn’t spit in her food. He repeated the order.

Kagome nodded and the man behind the register looked at Sesshoumaru, though spoke to her, “Anything else, miss?”

She turned to Sesshoumaru, “Anything else?” He did not even humor her by scanning the menu. He simply deadpanned, “I believe you’ve got it all covered.”

“I wish I could have all of you covered.”

Sesshoumaru cringed at the young man who continued to flirt with him. Well if it could even be called flirting...

A short glance at his name tag informed him that his name was Jakotsu. Jakotsu fluttered his eyelids, “Here or to go?”

Before the words, ‘to go’ could even leave his mouth, Kagome had already chirped out, “Here, please!”

Jakotsu once again shot her a dirty look, “Well then. That’ll be 15.95.”

Sesshoumaru once again gave a shudder, as he handed the money to Kagome to give in. She gave him a knowing smile and handed over the designated amount.

Jakotsu groaned in frustration, mumbling more to himself than Sesshoumaru, “I hate when they play hard to get. But the challenge is fun.”

Kagome pushed Sesshoumaru along before he could hurt the poor guy.

But could you blame him? I mean did Sesshoumaru look in the mirror at all?

He was freakin’ gorgeous...

Kagome blushed, ‘Not that I in particular think that he’s gorgeous... But some people might, and I understand how but—Crap. I just dug myself into a hole, didn’t I?’

She sighed.

“Order up!”

Here's (what I thought to be) a very funny line from forthright's Unspoiled, said by a very young Sesshoumaru after watching Kagome jump in and out of the now (or then... something like that) not-so-dry Bone-Eater's well... several times:

"Are you trying to drown yourself? You're not very good at it."

lol. He's very blunt (like his older self), but so innocent at the same time. It's adorable. ^.^

I love this author. She is amazing. This is from Pregnancy Woes by sesshou_lover

So she wasn't completely innocent in her wanting Sesshoumaru around. He was gorgeous, the perfect specimen to feature in her erotic imaginings, especially after she once caught him naked. Oh boy was that ever something. If it had been within her power she was pretty sure she would have raped him on the spot.

Her inner muscles clenched together. She hoped she was far enough away that Inuyasha's sensitive nose couldn't pick up her rising arousal. She didn't want to have to explain that she thought about forcing his half brother down to the ground while she rode him like a bronco.

A lecherous grin spread over her features, a grin that if Miroku saw, he'd be proud of. She just bet Inuyasha would be completely floored if she told him that.

I crack up every time i read it.

Lol we were actually discussing something like this in chat...and mine comes from Crack by Kai.

"BWEEE"

...that is all xD

And that was the crux of it

Lol - guess who wrote this?!

Resmiranda - Tales from the House of the Moon

And of course...

BWEEEEEE!!! (Crack by Kai) I founds me a miko...

From She Who the Prophecy foretold by Sunset Miko
This scene was totally brilliant, just so you know Kagome and Sesshoumaru are in the hot springs!

“That’s enough now. Down boy!” She giggled even harder as his eyes narrowed. “What? I need to take a look at those cuts on your leg.”

Realizing what that would mean, Sesshoumaru immediately tried to get his boy to go down as she had put it. ‘Think, think, think! She can’t see me like this! Ummm…Naraku… Kikyo…Naraku with Kikyo…Damn it! It’s not working! Oh, Jaken! Jaken in a kimono… Jaken naked.’ He shuddered in disgust at the thought. ‘Yeah, that did it. Thank Kami for Jaken naked. Wait, no, I didn’t just think that.’

This one's from Making the Most of Purgatory by Resmiranda.
It always made my heart ache.

"A dog is just like a wolf that is half-human, and Sesshoumaru was a youkai who felt so human he might as well have been hanyou."

From Kagome357's one-shot "The Binky" on ff.net, what an exasperated Sesshoumaru says when he finally figures out what a binky is, after his toddler daughter had been screaming for one:

“For the love of mass murder!”

From "Passion" by CirraAnna, "Into the West, part I" (one of the best out there if you've never read it, in my opinion)plus I am paraphrasing because the chp is very long.

Kagome and Sesshomaru have been having a secret relationship and have just been reunited after a long period away from each other..... they are in the hotspring, with Sesshomaru having worked his way south, and has slipped under the water (much naughtiness ensues, remember Sess is under the water and cannot be seen) just before Kagome's big finish she looks up and sees Shippo, he asks her when she is going back to camp, and she tells him that she will come soon..........

a few more moments pass, Sess is still under the water, exploring parts unseen...Inuyasha tries to get close to the spring and she sits him, he leaves after much arguing....she finally gets to finish, and he pops back up above the water...she asks him how hw could hold his breath so long, and he replies "well, I am a demon"

Here's one, it's from "Falling Stars" by Celyia. It can be found on ASS.
Sesshy: "You are a fool, human. One that demeans the very world by your mere exixtence."
Kagome: "Oh, nasty. Oddly flowery, but nasty."

Lol this is one from my own story "The Missing Bone" Chapter Two, where Sesshy sees the dreaded 'newspaper of doom' and runs away

'DO. NOT. WANT!'

X3

"Good God, your made of sexy"

from piratequeen405's latest chapter of "Dancing with Scissors"

ps Im not telling you how she uses it, I don't want to spoil the fruity goodness

I believed this to be hilarious. It is Unspoiled by Forthright

It is young Sesshoumaru speaking about Kagome.

“I am keeping her,” Sesshoumaru firmly added.

Rallying a little, Hisoka cleared his throat and reasonably pointed out, “You cannot simply pick up a stray human, milord. The people of her village will be furious; entire wars have been started for lesser reasons.”

The boy slowly shook his head. “This human says she is lost. She has no village.”

“A wanderer?” frowned the neko-youkai. “Hnn... I find it hard to believe that a human woman would be traveling alone. Does she have a name?”

Sesshoumaru blinked. “I did not ask,” he admitted. After a moment’s pondering, he inquired, “Should I name her?”

Great Fanfiction! A must read!

I have a feeling that I just have to put it in here..

I knew you'd marry me by MissTeak

“Higurashi Kagome!”

She frowned, for she hated it when they called her by her entire name. She hated it too, when they made fun of her name, as “Kagome” was also a famous Japanese brand selling fruit and vegetable juices, and tomato ketchup.

Stopping in her tracks, she whirled around to see little Sesshoumaru five feet behind her…down on his knee.

“Taisho Sesshoumaru!” She called out, taking in the sight of his childish face frozen in a mask of concentration and determination. “What are you doing?”

He was on his knee, she realized. Just like the scene she saw on TV.

“Will you marry me?”

.
.
.
.

“I’ve got a ring.” He said, in a voice that was meant to tell Kagome how much better he was than Inuyasha. “And it’s PINK.”

-----

hehe I remembered to have read a similar story to this one on paperback and it's just so cute..

From Misconceptions And Misunderstandings by Time on my hands [chapter 60]

-

“Thank you for standing with me.”

“Where else would I be, but at your side?”

Clawed fingers gently caressed her cheek.

“Promise me you will always be by my side.”

She nuzzled into the warm hand.

“Always. For as long as you want me.”

He leaned down, to brush his lips against hers.

“Forever.”

-

yay! I kinda like how Sess respond to Kagome..

Here is one from recent update of Dirty Laundry leads to... by lady_myth

Kagome leaned to her side, hands covering her breasts once more at the Dai’s proximity, peeking around him to see the spectacle.

She really wished she hadn’t.



OH. MY. KAMI.

She had been greeted with the sight of not one, but two upraised, bare asses. Gen and Gin were posed, kimono hiked up, on their hands and knees, presenting their bared sex to the Great Daiyoukai.

"Kagome felt the terrifying thrill of arousal die instantly at the sight.

Ohmykamiohmykami, myeyesmyeyesmyeyes!

A vicious, deafening roar penetrated through her and the Daiyoukai disappeared, only to reappear behind the two. Gen and Gin scrambled to get away from the murderous male, but were too slow. Both shrieking females were air-mailed out of the clearing: care of Sesshoumaru’s Black Boot Express.

Kagome stared in shock, unable to believe what she had seen.

Dear Kamis, why haven’t you invented brain-bleach yet? WHY?"

Black boot express had me laughing like crazy,my family got little bit worried about me