This thread is here to post examples of constructive criticism. Just to give people ideas. No flaming! Also if you have any questions about how to review this way ask them here.

Gonna use an example of one I posted in assignment #1. Mostly cause it was the easiest review for me to find hehe. This one is from Raindrops by Raychel. Gonna show my review, explain it and show how a slight change in tone could have turned it into a flame. So you can better understand the difference between flames and constructive criticism.

Review: Decent enough, but you've got much better. I would have preferred more background or storyline, but it's a nice enough one-shot.

(I corrected my spelling though lol.)

'Decent enough, but you've got much better.' I explain that while I wasn't completely happy with this story, that it's just this story and not her writing. That in fact, I really enjoyed another one of her's, which happened to be Heart's Desire.

'I would have preferred more background or storyline,' I explained what I felt would have made the story better, without saying that she actually did something wrong.

'but it's a nice enough one-shot.' I ended it with a complement, that while may not have been a great complement, it was still truthful and nice enough to hear.


Now, change the tone a bit, and it turns into a flame.


Flame review: You've got much better stories, what the hell happened here? You needed to add more story line and background. It wasn't a great one-shot.


You see the difference? One thing you've really gotta watch when you leave CC reviews is your pronouns. Use 'I felt, I think, I did, I didn't' instead of 'you did, you didn't'. The idea of CC is to show them their mistakes without rubbing it in their faces or making them feel like you are attacking them. Whenever you give CC, try to find at least one thing that you did like about the story to point out.

You'll notice that I didn't point out one thing I liked about the story, however it was a very short, one scene, one-shot and instead I pointed out that I had liked another one of her stories.



And Nobody, I broke the rule of no flames but I don't think you'll mind since it was for an example and not a real flame.

Hello, all.

Under the advise and direction of Nobody after a conversation about reviews, I would like for you to read this before posting a review containing constructive critisism.

Now, most of you have the critisism down pat. And critisism is absolutely necessary to help an author grow... eventually they will thank you for it. In our reviews we are aiming to help make each writer better and make fanfiction as a whole better for everyone. We are also aiming to set the example for others who either lurk and do not review, or who review simply to get the author to continue writing.

However, we also want to make sure our reviews do not hurt any authors feelings. It is one thing to offer advise to help someone grow, and quite another to tell someone their story sucked, or offer negative personal opinions about the topic an author chose to write about. Please keep in mind that it is quite easy to be hurtful instead of helpful.

A good critisism device: Bookending
Bookending is when you tell someone something nice about their work (your story had a very nice idea)
give them some helpful hint (but the flow seemed a bit interrupted... you may want to try looking for a beta to help with this)
And then give them something else nice. (Your detailing of the story was very colorful and emotional, very well done!)
So, say something nice, give critisism, and then end with something nice, keeping the overall feeling positive.

Here is an example of a very nice review:

hikari hime (Chapter 2) - Fri 06 Jun 2008
Just like Kagome357, I'm an honest reviewer, so I'll tell you you mix up tenses and have a little problem with punctuation. Anyway, you have made real progress between the first and second chapter, and I'm sure you can improve a lot, and become a fairly good writer. We all start somewhere, and I've seen very good signs of your creative skills in the second chapter. The story might prove to be interresting, and you put feelings in the characters, and that's far better than some fics I've red before. You're not just describing an empty following of actions, you're also putting emotions in it, and THAT is a very good start. A good beta reader would probably help a blooming good writer like you, starting by editing the many mistakes in the first chapter... ^_^ (don't ask me, I don't have a good mastery of the English language myself, and my own beta is indeed very patient with me lol). I can't wait to read more from you and see all the awesome improvements you can make. dewa mata


This was a great review. It was very upbeat, making me feel as though Hikare Hime enjoyed helping the author out. There was critisism, about exactly the right things, and suggestions as to how to eliminate the issues in the future. She also relates to the author by saying she is not perfect either and uses a beta herself, making it easier for the author find the courage to go out and ask for help. This review is positive, upbeat, and yet still offers help. Awesome.

Reviewing is the thing that keeps authors going and shapes who they are. Negativity will solve nothing, and positivity is key. We want people to continue writing, and we want them to become betters writers for our viewing pleasure. We do not want to make our authors angry or make them view their own work in a negative way.

In summasion, when reviewing, please be as sensitive as possible, and try to think of how it would be to recieve a review containing constructive critisism. Try to imagine being a young, new author and review accordingly.

Thank you for listening and being apart of something so important and affective to our site and the stories on it. I am so very proud to be among those who try to help!

Sesshoumaru's Boy
aka: Maru

Been meaning to write more on this thread but kinda forgot hehe. Here are a couple of tips to help leave better reviews...

1. Use first person POV (I) rather than second person (You). By posting in first the author will understand right away that it is your opinion, and really that's what a review is. But when you write in second, even if what you are saying isn't all that bad, it sounds more like an attack on the author than trying to help them. Just a simple change of pronouns can go a long way to writing a better CC review.

2. Use proper grammar in your review. Capitalize all words that should be, especially I and the first word in a sentence. Try to spell things correctly, I realize it can be a pain since the review boxes don't spell check, but if need be write the review in a word program, an email or even a message on Dokuga, all of which will give you spell checks. Then just copy and paste it as a review. A lot of the stories we read have grammar issues and our reviews will have less effect if we are doing the exact thing we are telling them not to.

3. Be honest but be careful you are not too harsh. We've only had a couple of times where members were too harsh since we started up again, but I want the number to be even less in the future. What I do when writing a review, considering as blunt as I can be, is I reread the review once for spelling issues and then read it a second time for rudeness before I post it. Almost every time I write a CC review, I catch something a bit too rude when doing that and I am able to correct it.

4. Second opinions can really help. I have one member who already asks me to read over some of their reviews before posting them to make sure they don't sound too harsh. If anyone else would like a *beta* for their reviews just let me know and I can give you my messenger address. I am on it all day pretty much everyday and would be more than happy to help. And a few extra minutes to go over a review will not only better help the author, but it will also help you grow as a reviewer and keep yourself from getting into trouble for a couple of misplaced words.

Edit: Thought I would point out one thing since it might be a bit confusing, number 1 is only referring to the CC reviews. For the positive feedback in an otherwise CC review or in a praise review, of course go with second person POV.

I am not too proud to admit that the person Hairann is referring to in number 4 is me....I am rather blunt like her, but unlike her I am not as good at catching myself when I might be too harsh, I'm working on it but it is a long way off...so I ask her to proof them for me on this regard, and more than once she has caught something I overlooked, so I was able to fix it and thus make my review much less harsh and more productive...so don't feel bad if your having trouble, I'm the person running the group and I even have trouble at times, there is no shame in asking for help, and if for some unknown reason you can't get a hold of Hairann, I am more than willing to help and will gladly supply my Yahoo messenger address for anyone who would like my help, i am usually on in the later evenings.

Well I think I've said enough for one night, have a good one everyone!!