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wickedone43 (Chapter 78) - Sat 20 Mar 2010

Greetings  my dear author of my favorite fic! 

I have been waiting for an update and thought I should let you know that I am still here.  I will wait as long as it takes.  I know you have a life and I should probably get one...

Anyway, I just re-read this fic again.  I like it better now!  Go figure.

Please keep up the good work. You have inspired my to perhaps try my hand at this.  I love to read and writie as well, but I have never shared my works with anyone. 

Thank you for your valuable entertainment.  I will await the next chapter or maybe chapters?

Take care of you and please continue to do what you do best...entertaining me!  LOL

 


Surreal (Chapter 70) - Tue 16 Mar 2010

I just started reading your story and sorry I haven't reviewed any of your other chapters, but I find them all wonderful. I loved the angst that you had Kagome and Sesshomaru go through. That was really good. There is a review that bothered me, though. Are we allowed to respond to them here? If not, I profusely apologize...but...

"Seeing Inuyasha about to interrupt her Kagome set her hand over his mouth again. "No Inuyasha. You have to hear me. You promised and I'm holding you to that promise. Hear me."

==

I think the correct term is listen, not here. It's like, "looking but not seeing" where looking = hearing and seeing = listening. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe that you're an English major."

Eia, I can totally believe she's an English major. I am one as well. Your logic makes sense....just not what you compare it to.


Hairann (Chapter 1) - Mon 15 Mar 2010

Congratulations Choices and Consequences has won third place for best Sesshoumaru portrayal in the Dokuga 4th quarter awards. You can pick up your awesomely made banner, complements of the lovely Priestess Skye, at http://www.dokuga.com/images/awards/banners/9/14/1926.png. Congrats again and keep up the amazing work :).


Eia (Chapter 72) - Wed 17 Feb 2010

Have I mentioned that I don't like you're character portrayals. It's like, all their actions, mannerisms, etc are done on a whim. I can't really call their mannerisms etc a personality because, if I do so, who they are will no longer make sense.

What I'm trying to say is your characters are VERY inconsistent with themselves. They change too much too quickly. In one chapter they act a certain way, and in another they act in a completely opposite way, jumping from one extreme to the opposite. It just really frustrates me.

Try reading your whole fic again, see how Kagome's character jumps from extreme to extreme. Mature and then suddenly becomes so childish and petty. In your fic, Kagome goes like, "I understand I forgive you etc etc" and suddenly here, she's some green-eyed monster, not even bothering to hide it. Where did the "understanding" Kagome go? I'm not even 18 and even I can get that there's no point in being jealous (so obviously) at some past girl. Ugh.

Your fic gets a LOT of points for plot and some for how long it is. Unfortunately, everything else just took those points away.

Sorry, this one became a flame review.


Eia (Chapter 55) - Sat 13 Feb 2010

Seeing Inuyasha about to interrupt her Kagome set her hand over his mouth again. "No Inuyasha. You have to hear me. You promised and I'm holding you to that promise. Hear me."

==

I think the correct term is listen, not here. It's like, "looking but not seeing" where looking = hearing and seeing = listening. Forgive me if I find it hard to believe that you're an English major.

And I figured out the term for my issue with Taro. With the way you write him, it looks like he isn't part of the story, that he isn't supposed to be in the story. It's like, he can be a reader, who read ahead of the "book" then went back in the middle, went in the story and just made himself a role in there. Sorry, I know it doesn't make sense.


Eia (Chapter 45) - Sat 13 Feb 2010

I notice you put a lot of unnecessary stuff, too much details that, in the end, really have no use except probably make you sound like a broken record, restating things that have already been restated several times. It makes the story boring, uninteresting, and I bet I can skip several paragraphs, or maybe even a chapter and not miss a thing.

I understand that my posts may seem as something "flaming" but I don't mean for it to be that way.

Try using using an "active voice" in your writing. "Show it don't say it" something like that. Can't explain much more than that because I don't really get it myself.

I can't say that I love your writing, and I definitely don't like the way you potray the canon characters. What I can say though is that I absolutely love the plot of your story. Quite original imo. Oh, and I also love Taro but it can be very frustrating. When I read the parts he's in, the way you write those parts makes it seem like he's not a character in the story, and no I don't mean that in a good way. It's like he's something that's apart from the story, an alien that shouldn't be there. He acts more like a god that the gods do. That's the best I can do in explaining that.

Lastly, Kamis Miko sucks. It just really sucks. Either use an english term or a japanese one, don't use grammer rules for one language and get the words from another. For the english term, use Priestess of the Gods. For the japanese term, (i'm basing it from the english one which I got from how I understood your crude translation and Kagome's role)  Kami no Miko, literally priestess of gods or god's priestess. Note that the singular and plural term for god is the same: kami. Though for goddesses it would be megami.

Alternatively, instead of Kami, you can use Tengoku which means heaven/paradise or simply Ten which can mean heaven, the gods, etc.

 

 


Eia (Chapter 44) - Fri 12 Feb 2010

So.. you're american? Wow. Proves that people will always suck at using their mother tongue. English is my 2nd tongue and i'm waaaaaayyy better at it compared to my native language. Get a beta.

 

Also, just so you know, asians ALWAYS look a lot younger than they really are when it's the americans who are judging. Example, my 40 y/o aunt got mistaken for a minor in Vegas. My point is, I think Sessh is more like early 20-ish in the anime/manga. Inu would be the teenager. But that's just my opinion. :)

Please, please, PLEASE get a beta. That or go attend english classes and get an A in them.


evelyn (Chapter 1) - Mon 01 Feb 2010

Ok i am addicted! its insane! this is the first fic i have read that is not complete and is not abandoned, so i'm toally going go keep up with this story. and i don't mean to flame but you should seriously consider getting a beta reader... but other than that, thanks for writing and keep it up!!


kaiirine (Chapter 78) - Sun 31 Jan 2010

all i can say is...i'm a huge fan...

please update soon...

 

tnx...*****


Bella (Chapter 78) - Sun 31 Jan 2010

All I can say is wow , you have an amazing story here so far, you have done a fantastic job writting the characters, you have a way of putting such emotion into situations. This is just beautifully written so far. You have truly amazing talent! :)

I am totally hooked so far!!!!! :D This is one of the best stories I have read so far :)

*Gives you cookies*


Mikara (Chapter 43) - Fri 29 Jan 2010

Great story and I really enjoy reading it. I truly and sincerely mean that..

However, you seriously have to do something about your spelling and grammar. I finally got fed up with it and decided to leave this review. Please get a beta, you seriously need one. I'd even volunteer for it if you want. Heck, I'd even volunteer to beta your posted chapters if you can guarantee you'll post up the beta'd versions.

Lastly, there are a lot of parts that become very boring. And I don't get bored with reading easily. I'd end up skipping several paragraphs at a time (something which I usually would loath to do). And even if I skip a hell of a lot of paragraphs, I find that I missed little to none story-wise which means either that all those paragraphs were just going in circles/redundant or that the paragraphs held nothing unexpected, that they were cliche, etc.

Also, the beast parts (the one in bold) are extremely irritating and kinda ruins the love for your fic.

I don't mean any hate or malice with everything I said above and, as I said, I love this fic which is what led me to leave this review, hoping that you'd be able to improve.


loveyaa (Chapter 78) - Sat 23 Jan 2010

I think that kagome's speech was beautifully done. I can't wait for more moments that have somehow been put into words that lead us to another world. I positively can't wait for next time...


DQj23 (Chapter 78) - Fri 22 Jan 2010

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh the injustice!!!!! 5 days af almost straight reading and it ends here?!!!! T_T aT CHAPTER 78!!!!! for some reason i love you and hate you at the same time!!!!! ..........................................T_T Please update soon? * Puppy eyes*


stars (Chapter 78) - Thu 21 Jan 2010

pleasse updata


Nelita (Chapter 78) - Wed 20 Jan 2010

Wow, I have been waiting for this chapter to come out.I love this story a whole lot and now its even better.I will be looking forward to the next chapter.


DemonQueen17 (Chapter 78) - Tue 19 Jan 2010

This chapter is awesome. I have followed this story since it was on ff.net. I can't wait to see more interaction between Inuyasha and Maya. They would make one cute couple. I can't wait to see Kouga's reaction when he finds out about his daughter and 'mutt-face'. Can't wait for the next chapter. Sorry about the Cowboys.


Karen A (Chapter 78) - Tue 19 Jan 2010

I really have enjoyed this story since the start.  The way you write the characters is very descriptive, so you understand why and what of every characters motivation.  I love it.  Maybe someday you'll let us know what your author name is so we can look you up on Amazon.


Angelicatt (Chapter 78) - Tue 19 Jan 2010

Here's hoping you recover your lost work...this chappie was still great even for a ver2

Sess needs to learn a lil humility - it will serve him well in coming times.


Sabishii_Taiyoukai_Forever (Chapter 78) - Mon 18 Jan 2010

Sweet, heartfelt, and most of all loving!   This is wonderful story you have written so far and I am hoping for the rest of the chapters in the near future! :3  Keep up the great work! :)


nogooddeed (Chapter 78) - Mon 18 Jan 2010

Good chapter please update soon!!


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