I re-read your story over again and it so much better than the first one posted. There are still just a few grammar and misspells but it is a whole lot better. I enjoyed reading it and you have caught my interest. You have done very well. I will enjoy reading further chapters and will be looking forward to them. Great job!

Very nice start for your first fic. Work on your spelling and grammar and you will have a good start to writing. Good luck. 

I wonder who the newcomer is? Poor Kagome. She definately needs someone.

Hello. What I am about to say is a constructive critique. I think your idea is a nice one and I would love to read more but your story needs a cleanup. There are numerous spelling and grammar errors also some other errors. I think you will need a beta to help you along. I am not flaming you or anything like that. If you are not familiar with the American english language, writing in that language can be a little daunting. But I think you may do well in your writing once you get the hang of it.

Good luck and don't give up. Keep it going. I would like to see this story flesh out because Sesshomaru and Kagome are my favored pairing. Good start otherwise.