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Despair by AnimeLover4evr

Begining

I was running blindly no destination in my mind; my feet were carrying me faraway. I wished I knew where but most of all I wish I could stop, the thing is I had no control of my body.

I felt horrible. I had lost my family but most of all I had lost my childhood friend.

She was with me always through thick and thin through bad and good but I lost her because I had destroyed her life force.

She had been through a lot and her only reason for continuing on living was the people she had come to care for, but I took it away from her when I become this monster.

How could I live with myself knowing what I had done? Not only because I did it to her but also because I did it to myself. I killed them without mercy without hesitation.

I want to die. I can't live knowing that I killed them all. What have I become? A monster, A murderer that's the only answer. That's the only truth there is to now.

Darkness settled in and I felt my life slipping away, a couple days ago if I would have been feeling like this I know I would have tried my best to hold onto the future instead of letting it slip away like nothing but that was days ago and now I happily welcome dead and I'm glad it will be by her hands because that is the only dead I will accept.

How could I have been so cruel and cold hearted as to kill as to enjoy tearing them to pieces, to feel their blood run down my body down my shoulders all the way to my hands feel it in my face to smell it and to see it stain in my clothes, on the floor to be able to view the dead bodies sprawled on the floor covered in both theirs' and their loved one's blood.

It gave me shivers.

I enjoyed seeing feeling and tasting such a sight to behold....How cruel. I have no heart no feelings.

I kill for fun, for my own enjoyment and also because I can't stop myself even if I try and most of the time I don't try not even when I killed the most important people in my life and in her life. I destroyed her completely.

I took away everything she had, everything she loved and I did it right before her eyes. I stripped her of everything leaving her with only a look fear and blood stains. I had laughed.

I had enjoyed her look the way those tears running down her pale face without stopping it was tear after tear, the air was filled with her sadness, her fear, her despair but most of all it was filled with the scent of blood heavy on the air and my own satisfaction.

I could feel it as I stood waiting on the sidewalk she was coming only the intention of killing me on her mind it was her only goal. I could feel her hatred from miles away that was the only emotion left in her heart.

It was the only thing keeping her from completely losing herself and I had caused it all, only me and no one else.

She stood behind. I could feel her eyes glaring at me even if I was not looking. I had heard the loud cries of Whys as I felt her pull the trigger she had asked me pointed the gun at my back why had I done this to her. Yes why?

I didn't even know the answer but even so I knew I deserved to die. I couldn't live with myself and I wouldn't dare let it continue in the next generation.

Yes this was a curse. It had happened to my ancestors and it was my turn to suffer the same pain and despair they suffered because we when the time came killed everyone we loved but also killed the person they cared about their loved ones that was our curse and there was no cure to it.

We suffered for our ancestor's mistakes and since then we have all suffered this burden on our shoulders.

When I had found out I quickly isolated myself. I could live with killing my family but I couldn't take no more than that but then she came, she had been my old childhood friend and I had forgotten her for the best, she knew I remembered her and because of that she was very persistent and I had given up, after that we had been together through everything for 6 years never apart we were like twins, we were like one always there for each other and I know there could never be such a good friend that could ever compare to her, she had felt my pain when I had lost my family because she had also been through it.

I guess that's why we knew each other so well because we both knew what pain was what it really felt like.

I turned around and faced her I made my way to her I could see her arms trembling, she was scared but also confused, stop don't come she yelled at me but I still went and I hugged her, the gun was now pointed at my stomach.

"Forgive me Kaggie, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for this to happen and more of all to happen to you. I will always care about you never will I have the will to kill you even if I am this monster but I know I did have the power to hurt you but please know that I was not in control it was not me and I had no intention of hurting you. I wish I could take everything back but I know I can't so please find it in your heart to forgive me" I whispered in her ear.

Before she had the chance to react I grabbed her hand which was still holding the gun and before she could even blink I pulled the trigger.

I could feel the tear falling down my cheeks my only wish is for her to forgive me. I felt myself hitting the floor a pool of blood was already surrounding me. How can I not forgive you she screamed at me, my eyes widen, does this mean she forgives me? No it's not possible not after all I did.

"I don't know how but when I started thinking I realized I could never hate you intentionally your my best friend and I'm a fool to realize just now that you were the only I really ever cared about, so I ask you to please forgive me for not understanding that you had no control that you had no power to stop it, please forgive me for not being there for you" she whispered close to me and soon before life left me I told her I loved her and she did the same.

I then heard the sound of the trigger being pulled her body felt lifeless next to mine.

A smile was on both our faces, the irony of it all we had both forgave ourselves and we knew that dead was the only way to rid ourselves from the pain that was still in our hearts even if we forgave ourselves it doesn't mean that everything that had happened was forgotten.

I was glad. I was happy that we died like this even if it was a lie because I knew she didn't really forgave me just like I found my hate for her because she had promised me that even thought this curse will cause us pain she will be by my side and she had broken that promised the minute she had seen the true form of my curse she had run away but I don't blame her I would have done the same thing still I had hoped that she would not run away.

It was hopeless.

Still I'm happy because I know that every ending we had to our future would have been horrible I had already calculated all the possible ways for it to turn out and I knew that the way we died was not planned out because there was no way to know the future and according to my calculations, there was no happy end to our lives.

What had happened, everything I was glad because I know that what had happened in the end was as good as It got, it wouldn't have been better we both knew that we couldn't just live with each other and that my curse will prevent from the two of us to ever be happy the only solution was dead and I'm glad that when it came she was the one to come for me.

I was happy that she was facing it not running away from me no more, she should have known that as soon as I gave up and became her friend once more her fate had been sealed and death was just around the corner.

CHAPTER 2

What fools I thought silently. I should have killed them myself taken the burden out of her hands, what a moron but it doesn't matter at the end the mission was done our goal was only to kill Kagome and in the end she ended up killing herself much better for us who are cursed to suffer.

In reality Kagome was always our target, she was the key to more suffering everyone couldn't resist falling for her, so the only option was to eliminate her once and for all but she had done that herself but of course it couldn't have been without her best friend's help.

Sango...she was always weak falling quickly to her knees and because of that she was a disgrace to us.

It ways of no importance losing her. In my opinion it was for the best, she would have only intervene with our plans but most of all she had betrayed us, she had chosen Kagome over us her own real family, yes we are not her true family but we are just like her we know what she has been through but we have been through more mostly I but unlike her I am not guilty of the sins I had commit.

I am proud of them those people deserved to die and I was more than happy to finish them off.

Days had passed and I had found out that things didn't go according to plan. I was angry no I was more than angry at the news I had received.

Kagome, she was alive. I will murder her with my own hands she has been nothing but trouble since the day she was born this will be revenge on her.

Kagome's ancestors had placed this curse on us and before we had discovered it they had murder many of our clan they took our treasures and we were left to be beggars.

I guess we deserved it after all because even then we were still known as murderers only their curse made us do things we didn't want and it made the name murder seem like a good thing compare to what we did but that's not me, yes I had showed the people now how to deal with this curse and whoever refused I killed on the spot since I was born the will and enjoyment of killing was in my blood so this curse meant nothing to me it was just a game.

In truth I am glad I have it because now I have the will to not only kill strangers but love ones too and that I had already done. I'm all alone and I enjoy it. I feel no pain I never had and never will.

Now is the time to get my revenge. I would torture her and make her suffer slowly and painfully make her feel a pain she had never felt.

It will be worse than anything. I would restore her hope, her faith in a future filled with happiness.

I would make her believe again and then I would take it from her like taking candy from a baby only worse and at the end I will not kill her no If I kill her that would mean I would have done something good, so instead I will not.

I will leave her broken and completely alive so that way she suffers more with the pain in her heart.

Soon enough she'll pay I whispered as I watched her walk in the night from afar. I smirked, this will be the most pain I would have ever caused and I can't wait to start, at the end I know the only thing left will be my satisfaction.

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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