The Things We Do For Love by iloveprettysilverhair

The Things We Do For Love

Title: The Things We do for Love

Author: iloveprettysilverhair

Genre: Humor

Word Count: 4,064

Rating: M

Warnings: Drunkenness

AU/Canon: AU

A/N: Written for Inuyasha Comedy Club Theme: Love Hurts

Kagome stood against a wall in her boyfriend's room and slowly hit her head on it rhythmically. This trip was not going the way she had planned. It was supposed to be a nice stay in order for her to meet his parents and get to know her future family-in-law (if all went according to plan), but so far she had done nothing but make an ass out of herself. If that weren't bad enough, their flight out of there didn't leave for three more days and Kagome was at the point that she was willing to hitchhike her way back home.

It all started the day she and Inuyasha had arrived. The problem with first impressions was that you only get one. Kagome groaned in agony as she sensed her brain turning on to flashback mode. Like she wanted to relive it again. It sucked the first time around!

**Flashback**

"Stop fidgeting babe and relax. You're working yourself up over nothing," Inuyasha told her as he patted her thigh during their flight's landing. They had been dating for a couple years and he finally decided that it was time she meet his family. At first she had been thrilled at the prospect, but now as they stepped off the plane she couldn't help the feeling of doom that washed over her. When would she learn to listen to her inner-doom radar? It had never steered her wrong before, but she kept denying the awesome power.

Driving down the streets in their rental car, Kagome couldn't help but feel a bit intimidated. The further down the road they went, the bigger the houses got. This was one thing Inuyasha apparently forgot to tell her about his family. They were rich ass sons of bitches!

When they pulled up to the house Kagome nearly turned-tail and ran her way back to Tokyo. It would only take her...a few weeks to get there! "Inuyasha, I don't think I can do this."

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her on the neck while he pulled her tightly against him. "Kagome, you are sexy, smart, and funny. Just be you and they'll love you no matter what. Then if you're a good girl, later I'll even do that thing you like that makes my neck hurt."

Kagome giggled as he continued kissing and licking her neck and ears. He brought his hands up underneath her shirt to cup her breasts, but was stopped short when someone cleared their throat. They both turned around quickly, but Kagome's necklace was caught on Inuyasha hair. So instead of being the graceful girl that Inuyasha had spoken so highly of, Kagome cursed loudly as she went stumbling to the ground, a breast popping out of her shirt on her way down.

Inuyasha hadn't noticed his girlfriend's fall, having too much hair to feel a single strand leave his head. He grinned widely at his mom and dad, glared at half-brother, and then decided to introduce them. "Mom, Dad...Sesshoumaru," he grumbled the last. "This is Kagome," he said while holding out his hands. The only response he received was the raising of an eyebrow by Sesshoumaru and his mom and dad looking at the ground for some reason.

Inuyasha frowned a bit in confusion before he turned towards where Kagome was supposed to be; only she wasn't there. He looked down and found her beet red trying to compose herself while simultaneously trying to get up. Inuyasha quickly helped her to her feet and they finally made their way up to his family.

"This is Kagome," Inuyasha tried again. His father nodded in acknowledgement, while his mom gave her a once over in silent appraisal. Sesshoumaru continued to stare at her chest as if he were willing her other breast to pop out magically like the last one did. Kagome blushed under their scrutiny and Inuyasha nudged her with his elbow.

"Oh! Um, it's a pleasure to finally meet all of you!" she said while extending her hand and giving them a bright smile that was sure to win them over despite the rocky start.

Izayoi, Inuyasha's mother, took hold of her hand daintily. "Charmed. By the way, did you know you have a little something in your teeth?" she said then excused herself back into the house. Kagome shut her mouth tightly and Inuyasha's father snorted lightly before he turned to go back into the house as well, followed closely by Sesshoumaru who gave Kagome a small nod.

"Is it time to leave yet?" Kagome whined pathetically. Inuyasha smile and took her by the hand to go retrieve their luggage.

"Not yet. Don't worry, everything will be fine," he promised her.

To her, it was like he was stating famous last words.

***

The next day they were invited to lunch near the pool with his family and Kagome was determined to make them like her! Sure, she had a rough start, but it definitely couldn't get worse than flashing her boyfriend's family.

On the way to the backyard, Kagome needed to make a pit stop in the restroom. With assurance to Inuyasha that she could find her own way to the poolside, Kagome set off to do her business. She gave herself a small pep-talk before leaving the bathroom and then easily found her way outside to where they were all sitting.

"Kagome, nice of you to join us. I trust you slept well?" Inuyasha's father, Daichi, asked politely.

"Yes thank you. It was so nice of you to allow us to impose-"

"My son is never an imposition," Izayoi stated in a condescending tone. "It's nice to have both of the boys home for a change, they never come visit anymore," she added when Daichi gave her a pointed look. Kagome shut her mouth quickly and walked around the table to take a seat next to Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha walked behind her and made a grab for her ass and Kagome swatted his hands.

"Not here Inuyasha!" she whispered. He did it again and she squeaked and turned towards him. "What are you doing?"

Inuyasha slapped a hand over his face and then leaned in to whisper to her. "Your skirt is tucked into your underwear." Kagome groaned and quickly fixed her skirt and sat down before she could embarrass herself further.

"Five more days, just five more days,' she chanted to herself. She smiled at the butler as their food was served and the wine was poured. Kagome was at first upset that she wasn't seated next to Inuyasha, but looking at how happy his mother was that he was sitting next to her, Kagome decided to ignore it. However, what she couldn't ignore was the empty seat that was being served food as well.

"Will someone else be joining us?" she asked politely. His mother looked up from her meal and gave her the first genuine smile since they had arrived.

"Yes, an old friend of the family. They should be here any moment now."

Inuyasha looked just as curious to know who would be joining them, but soon went back to his meal. Kagome smiled and turned her attention to her own food. She discretely kicked off her high heels and set her bare feet on the cool surface of the concrete. It was shortly after that she felt another foot on her own. 'Inuyasha you sly dog,' she thought whimsically. She looked over to him and he smiled and winked before once again engaging in conversation with his mother and father.

Kagome wiggled her toes in a teasing manner and the foot caressed her own suggestively. She shut her eyes and 'mmm-ed' lightly at the wonderful feeling. Ooo, she was gonna show him not to get her all hot and bothered when there was nothing she could do about it at the moment. Kagome was enjoying the playful massage that her feet were getting so much that she almost missed the next event.

"Kikyo? Wow it is you!" Inuyasha exclaimed as he stood up to greet the woman who had just arrived to lunch. Kagome blinked a couple of times as she watched her boyfriend embrace another woman and start talking animatedly to her without bothering with an introduction. Of all the nerve!

Her eyes then grew wide as she realized that her nice foot massage had not been interrupted. She quickly snuck a peek under the table only to find that the person evoking such wonderful feelings in her was none other than Inuyasha's half-brother, Sesshoumaru. He gave her a knowing smirk and one last stroke of his foot on hers for good measure.

Kagome blushed ten shades of red and withdrew her foot from in between his two sock-clad ones. "Eh-heh...um, sorry," she said quickly while going to stand. In her haste, she knocked over her glass of wine straight into his lap. "I'm so sorry!" she said while grabbing a napkin.

Inuyasha and Kikyo were laughing while catching up on old times when he finally brought himself out of his shock of seeing her. "Oh! Kikyo, I want you to meet someone. This is my friend Kagome--my girlfriend." Kikyo looked over to where he was pointing and started giggling.

"She seems...nice."

Inuyasha looked over at Kagome and nearly came unglued. There she was with a napkin in hand, dabbing at his half-brother's crotch bit more excessively than necessary in his opinion, and Sesshoumaru was just sitting there with his eyes closed and with a smug look on his face.

"Damnitt Kagome, I left you alone for two minutes and you're already all over him!

Kagome froze her actions and stared wide-eyed at the lap she was all but on top of. And by the looks of that lap, he seemed to be extremely pleased with her help. 'Kill me now. I'm not really here; I'm in Tokyo, in my apartment, with my cat. This is all just a bad dream. A REALLY bad dream.'

"Inuyasha dear, why didn't you tell us your girlfriend was so...open about her sexuality? It would have better prepared us," his dad said while casting Kagome a pointed glance. Kagome looked shocked and Izayoi glared at the two of them before gulping down her wine and storming off into the house in the most dignified manner she could.

Kagome sighed and got up from Sesshoumaru's lap, much to his chagrin, and then gently placed her napkin on her plate. "Thank you for lunch," she said to no one in particular before walking away. Those left behind were silent for a while before Kagome came back to retrieve her shoes from under the table. "Forgot these," she mumbled and once again left them.

Kikyo watched her leave and once she was sure she was gone, turned to Inuyasha, Sesshoumaru, and Daichi. "So, who's up for some margaritas?"

****

It was late into the night and Inuyasha still hadn't come to bed and Kagome was starting to get restless. Slinging on a robe, she walked down to the family room where the television was housed and sat down on the large couch. She searched for the remote and then turned the TV on, hoping to catch the day's current events. She flipped through a couple of channels, but being the butterfingers she was, dropped the remote onto the floor.

The room was dark and she couldn't see the black remote underneath the couch. She huffed and flopped back onto the couch, accidentally pressing a button with her heel and kicking the remote somewhere out of sight in the dark room.

Loud moans and groans filled the once silent room and Kagome squeaked when the vision of some guy pounding into the "virginal" school-girl popped up on the screen, and she stumbled over herself to find the remote or a switch, or something to turn it off! A whimper escaped her lips when she couldn't make it go away, and she felt helpless when she heard someone walk into the room.

"Ah, my favorite channel. You have great taste my dear!" boasted a loud voice.

Kagome squeezed her eyes shut and then finally gained the courage to look up at the intruder. To her dismay, Inuyasha's father was sitting in an easy chair, eyes glued to the television as he made himself comfortable. She gulped as she stood up slowly and looked longingly at the door. "Do, uh...would you like me to leave you alone?"

He said nothing and she began to tiptoe her way across the room. Daichi looked at her feet as she walked across the room, and as if he willed it to happen, Kagome tripped on the blasted remote and landed in his lap, head first. He looked up towards the ceiling and whispered a 'thank you' to the gods above for landing her in his much neglected lap.

Kagome tried to back away from him, but a firm hand on the back of her head held her in place. "You know what I like about you Kagome?" he said as he let some of the pressure off her head so she could lift up a bit, only to push her back down again, "You seem smart."

"Daichi honey, have you seen-- Oh my god!" screamed Izayoi. Kagome was abruptly tossed to the floor when Daichi stood up quickly to chase after his wife. Shouts of 'Honey, really, nothing happened!' reached her and Kagome groaned at the ache in her head and stood up to leave the godforsaken room.

A couple of turns led her into the kitchen where she saw Inuyasha and Kikyo engaged in small talk at the dining room table. With a quiet growl she made her way over to him and made a big showing of wrapping her arms around him and kissing him on the cheek.

"Oh hey babe! I was just talking to Kikyo about all the fun times we used to have in high school; sorry I'm up so late," he said as she took a seat next to him.

"Eh, it's no problem, I was just wondering where you were."

The threesome was quiet and Kikyo tapped her nails on the table to keep herself entertained. She suddenly got an idea and excitedly took Inuyasha's hand in her own which made Kagome glare that in turn went unnoticed. "Do you remember that drinking game we used to play?!" the bitch asked expectantly.

He snapped his fingers and got a huge smile on his face. "Oh yeah! Hey, I'm pretty sure my old man has some liquor; wanna give it a go?" Kikyo nodded and Inuyasha went to fetch a couple of glasses for them.

"Get me one too Inu!" Kagome stated. Inuyasha stopped in his tracks and looked back at her with an incredulous look.

"Kagome, you know you don't hold your liquor very well." She gave him a glare that made his balls want to shrivel and die and he relented. "Fine, fine! I'll get one for you too, damn."

He returned shortly and the drinking game ensued. Being the newbie that didn't know how to play, Kagome was losing badly, which in turn meant that she was, in fact, wasted. The bad thing? It was only her third shot of whiskey.

"I warned you Kags, you just didn't listen. You want me to help you up to the room?" Inuyasha asked patronizingly.

"Nononono...no! I cans handle it juuuuuuust fines. I'm not as think as you drunk I am; now...if only the room would ssst *hic* stop moving." Kagome stood on shaky legs and held on to the wall as she made her way out of the room, leaving Kikyo and Inuyasha to their drunken game.

The hallways seemed a lot longer to Kagome in this state and by time she made it to the stairs, she extremely hot and restricted in the "many" layers of clothing she was wearing. She stopped momentarily to rid herself of the robe she had donned earlier, leaving her in only the silky see-through night gown she had worn to bed. Heaving a great breath, she steeled herself for the climb up the many stairs.

Having the railing at the side helped her pull herself up the steps and she soon made it to the top. However, being a bit inebriated had its disadvantages and Kagome swore there was at least one more step there earlier when she came downstairs. Keeping this in mind, she raised her foot up to take another stair and brought it down hard when nothing stopped its path.

"Pfffft! Ha...hahaha! Oooo ooo, shhhhh!" she told herself as she put a finger to her lips. She giggled lightly as she continued down the hallway and counted doors as she went.

"I'm sure this *hic* is where I lefts my room," she said to herself as she opened up the door. When she stepped inside she was greeted by the site of all her adolescent hormonal female dreams come to life. There, wearing nothing but the skin given to him at birth was the perfect male specimen, rubbing one out with his eyes closed tightly in concentration.

Kagome swayed in her spot, eyes glued to his hand moving up and down his large, massive...

"Good gods almighty, you're hung like a horse!" Leave it to Kagome for that to be the first coherent thing she's said in an hour. Her mouth dropped to the ground as she continued to stare at his large endowment while he gracefully rose from his seated position and made his way towards her.

She could feel a pressure building in her abdomen and Kagome shut her eyes. 'Oh god oh god oh god, not now! Any time but now!' Her face screwed up tightly and her bottom lip started to quiver. 'Damnitt!'

Just as Sesshoumaru reached out for her, he froze in place and took a delicate sniff. Kagome groaned and then her shoulders started to shake. Trying to be as composed as possible, Sesshoumaru fanned the air around him and went to open his bedroom window. Looking back at the obviously humiliated girl, he did his best to try and think of a way to console her. Well, that was until she started laughing hysterically.

"Ha ha ha ha! I can't...can't believe I just...I just did that! Ah ha ha ha ha!" she said as she keeled over in peals of laughter. "I'm...I'm so s-s-sorry! Sometimes when I get nervous, I...ha...hahaha!"

Noticing that the smell was quickly disappearing, Sesshoumaru let the incident slide, reminding himself of just who was supplying his mind with naughty images for him to masturbate to. He sauntered up to her and grabbed a hold of her chin before crashing his lips down on hers. She immediately responded, moaning into his mouth as he trailed his claws down her dainty nightgown, shredding it so that it lay as a pile of rags on the floor.

'I haven't been the only one drinking tonight,' he thought to himself as he kissed her. They made their way clumsily to the bed, tripping up here and there when Kagome would step on his foot. The backs of her legs met the bed and they tumbled down upon it when Kagome screeched.

"Ow ow ow owy! You're on my hair!" He lifted up so that she could free her hair, but otherwise did not relent in grabbing her knees and pulling them up to his sides. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so disoriented while wooing a woman, but ever since lunch he had done nothing but drink. Being a demon made getting drunk a difficult feat, but one that he had succeeded in today. His eyes were glazed over as he looked down at her underneath him and he pumped his hips to find his goal.

"Eeep! Not that one!" she squealed. Sesshoumaru repositioned himself and drove home making the small woman beneath him moan in pleasure. Her screams of delight egged him on so much that he slipped out twice in his urgency. Any other time he would be able to bring his lover to the edges of ecstasy and back, but as it were, he had already been halfway there when she had interrupted him, so it didn't take very long for him to reach climax and slump down on top of her.

"Oh my god," she said. Sesshoumaru smirked in pride; it seemed she did have a good time.

"You are quite the little hell-cat yourself Kagome."

"No, I think I'm gonna throw up!" Sesshoumaru quickly got off of her and helped her to the bathroom just in the knick of time. After a quick shower and a thorough brushing of teeth, the two of them then collapsed onto the bed and passed out easily, sleeping off their drunkenness.

****

Kagome groaned in pain and held her head as her eyelids tried to peel themselves from her dry eyeballs. "Inu...why'd you let me drink so much?" She didn't receive an answer so she felt around until her hand came into contact with a body. She pulled herself close to him and sighed gratefully at the renewed comfort. "Morning..."

"Indeed it is."

Her eyes flew open at the unfamiliar voice and she sat up quickly to look at who was in her bed. When she saw Sesshoumaru she did the first thing that came to her mind. She screamed.

"What the hell are you doing in here?!" she screeched.

"Woman, cease your noise, you are in my room," he said as he pulled her close to him again. Her instant reaction was to snuggle into him, but her brain caught up with her body and she squeaked to get out of his grip. She ripped the sheet from the bed and tightened it around herself before heading towards the door. Taking one last glance back at Sesshoumaru to drill the memory of that chiseled body into her head, she then walked out of the room to come face to face with Daichi.

"Why hello there Kagome," he said suggestively while waggling his eyebrows. "Can I...help you with anything?"

"Eh heh, no...no that's okay," she said as she squeezed her legs together in attempt to will the need to pee away. She started bouncing up and down a little and Daichi stared at her with renewed interest as the sheet began to work its way down.

"Are you in a hurry to get somewhere?" he asked teasingly.

"Yes, actually. I really need to use the restroom, could you point me in the right direction?"

He chuckled and pointed her down the hallway, and she all but sprinted towards the bathroom. Daichi shook his head and laughed all the way to the kitchen where he would be making his wife an 'I'm sorry' breakfast in bed.

Kagome finished up her business and looked for the room she and Inuyasha had shared. Why hadn't he come to look for her? She could've been passed out in the pool! She huffed and then began opening doors to find her room. She had opened at least five before opening another and closing it again. She stopped her advance and then opened up the last door again and found Kikyo nestled comfortably in the arms of Inuyasha and an empty bottle of whiskey on the floor.

She thought to be angry with him, but thought about her own drunken escapade and decided differently. She tiptoed into the room and grabbed a change of clothes before leaving again, headed back to the one other place she felt semi-comfortable.

She knocked quietly and soon after the door opened to reveal a fully clothed Sesshoumaru. Without a word he let her in and shut the door behind her.

** End Flashback **

"You should cease that before you give yourself a concussion," Sesshoumaru reprimanded her.

Kagome growled at him and continued to bang her head on the wall. "Are you sure we can't leave yet? I don't care how much a short notice ticket costs. Inuyasha can leave on Thursday if he wants, but I want to leave now."

He leveled a look at her and she sighed and relented. "I suppose I shouldn't be so upset, at least I already got the meeting with the parents done now, I don't have to do it again with you."

"Ah, but you forget Kagome," Sesshoumaru said as he kissed her lips. "Inuyasha and I are half-brothers; therefore you still must meet my mother."