My Cries Are Silent In Me by beckyducky

Before Dawn

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

My Cries Are Silent In Me

by Beckyducky

A/N: Slight AU/Diversion/Continuation-ish....I don't really know how to place this story. You tell me. But I labeled it as AU. S'okay right? Timeline is screwed up and I'm going to use people/demons however I feel like using. This chapter is told by Kagome, but I don't know if I want to continue to use her as my narrator later on in the story.

---01: Before Dawn---

He attacks us in the darkest part of night.

Naraku, that bastard.

I barely manage to dodge an enormous spider demon from squishing me. It scrapes my legs and I can feel my muscles tearing from underneath its sharply tipped legs. It applies more pressure and I can feel it ripping my legs to shreds. I scream and cry out and Inuyasha looks my way.

Idiot.

Stupid. Irrational. Stubborn. Loud. Obnoxious. Annoying. Childish.

Idiot. And I love him. I love him so much that I think I want to die sometimes. But it's not my turn. I want to take away his pains forever. But he keeps me at arm's length. I want to love him, truly and forever. But he forces himself to look away. Except he should have looked away when it mattered. Stupid, heroic Inuyasha. Why the in the name of seven hells do you always look at me when I'm screaming?

Another spider demon, twice the size of mine, pierces his chest through his back. Inuyasha's face contorts into what can only be described as agony. He rips off the offending spider's leg and races over to me. Being the fool I am, I forget my bow and arrows and just wait for him to come and save me. I am numb to everything but my own inane pain. Inuyasha uses Iron Reaver Soul Stealer and cleanly slices through the one pinning me. He lifts me and leaps over to where Sango is and deposits me there.

"Stay here, Kagome," he says before joining the fight again, with his blood landing everywhere.

"Kagome!" Sango cries, looking at my bloody, torn legs. She gets the bandages but we both know they won't help. My muscle is hanging from my bone. She doesn't know what to do, and I can't blame her. Sango looks like she's ready to cry; but I hope she doesn't. If she started, I don't think I could stop it. Still, she's a strong demon slayer. Pregnant. But still strong.

I am not. The pain is coursing through my body, all over. I cannot cry, I cannot breathe, I cannot see anything past my own damn pain – and I smile. I put on a shit eating grin and tell her I'm fine. This is the most ridiculous lie I have ever told in my life. She nods in disbelief and grabs out a scroll from her sack. The last time we went to Kaede's, Sango decided to learn more about healing so that she wouldn't be a complete burden. We stayed there for a week and she picked up fixing cuts, bruises, and internal bleeding. It's so ironic. I'm supposed to be the miko, and a demon slayer knows more about healing the body than me. But my legs are going to be a problem. Everything is ripped apart and even Sango looks lost. She murmurs the incantation, but nothing happens. She tries several times – nothing. The flaps of my skin move at most, but that could be because of the wind from slain demons. She sucks in a deep breath and concentrates. A weak, green light envelops my legs and slowly begins to mend my maimed legs.

But Sango is worried, and it's not just because of the spell she's trying to get right. She's pregnant, so of course she can't fight – even to protect herself. Miroku doesn't even let her carry Hiraikotsu around anymore – which I think is stupid. But I can't become all female-power Kagome on him, especially since she just blushes and does what he says. Sango is showing, so I didn't think it was wise to let her travel with us. She should have stayed behind with Kaede from our last visit. But Sango is here with me right now, fixing my legs slowly. And I am thankful for her.

Our only protection is Kirara and Shippo. Shippo uses some of his fox skills on demons who get too close to us that get by Kirara. He's grown so much. His fire actually hurts a lot now. Shippo doesn't even ride on any of us, he just runs along with Inuyasha.

Sango inhales sharply and I look over to her. Her eyes are full of fear.

"What is it?"

And then her expression changes.

"The baby just kicked," she says in wonder and amazement.

I could have laughed out loud. Here we are in the middle of a battlefield with Inuyasha bleeding through the fights with a chest wound, Miroku unable to use his wind tunnel, me with mangled legs, and us relying on Kirara and Shippo for protection, and she's feeling her baby move for the first time. I feel...happy.

I feel happy that she's getting to experience contact with a baby. In spite of all the misery and pain around us, she at least has some sort of light.

But the baby causes her concentration to waver and the soft green light begins to fade. My legs aren't even halfway fixed. Sango has managed to make some of the muscle tendons to attach on the bone. Sweat is pouring out from her like she had been fighting for hours. She can't do this alone. So I grasp her hand and focus. I channel all my energies unto her hand and pray.

Please...Give her strength.

I open my eyes and see that the dying green light has grown pink. And my legs are healing right before my eyes. My hanging flesh is not so hanging anymore. My muscles cleanly reattached themselves and piece back together. I almost smile in amazement but catch myself. I must not break concentration. But this is tiring me out more than I thought it could. My arm begins to shake – begging me to break off the connection with Sango so I wouldn't lose any more of my energy. But I hold on. Dead skin drops away to reveal a new layer of skin growing. My breath is coming out in short shallow breaths, but I hear other breathing in the background. I look at Sango and she looks stricken. Her eyes are wide and her breath is uneven. It's not just me that's glowing pink. Sango is glowing too. Except her body can't handle my energy. No one could – and it was foolish of me to think that she could do it. I break contact despite letting my legs stop healing. She slumps to the ground, spent.

I panic.

"Sango-chan?"

No reply.

"Sango!?"

Her lips move and I can't hear anything. "I can't hear you Sango." I lean over towards her and cradle her head in my lab, ignoring the burning sensation I feel when I kneel on my partially formed legs.

So she whispers, "I'm okay...Kagome-chan."

I sigh and relax just a tad bit more. I look up and see the demons are thinning. Some are running away. Most are getting blown to pieces by Inuyasha's Kaze no Kizu. Miroku is backing up Inuyasha by fending off demons that get in his way. They're a good team. But my thoughts and eyes are driven from them again when I feel a sharp pain on my leg and then warm fluid. I look down and see that my legs have burst at the seams.

The skin had not finished healing so when I knelt and put Sango on my lap, the pressure must have popped it. I quickly lift Sango's head and use her sack for a pillow. I grab the bandages and wrap my legs. Years of doing this had given me experience to do it fast.

Most of the demons had gone by now. Inuyasha launched attacks at their retreating form so that any thoughts of coming back were eradicated. Miroku is racing back to us as fast as he could – but he was running with a limp. He must have gotten struck in the leg. Kirara flew down and came to me and Sango. She transforms into a cute little kitty and nuzzles her owner's face.

"Kagome!!!!" Shippo came bounding towards me. He is covered in demon blood and guts, mud, and tears. I reach for him with open arms and he leapt into them wholeheartedly. This was the first time in a long time that he hugged me like this. I missed it.

And then the storm clouds came. Fat bullets of rain came pouring down on us. I prop Sango up so that she wouldn't drown from inhaling rain. Her bangs fall across her face messily and I push them away. She looked so sweet, lying unconscious in my arms. But then, I remembered. The baby. Sango couldn't be sick while she had the baby. So I take off my sweater and draped it around her front – hoping it would do something. Kirara transformed again and nudged me. I lift Sango as best as I can and prop her on Kirara. Kirara grabs her by the kimono and hoists her on to her back carefully. I make sure Sango is lying on her back. Shippo raises a fox fire near her that doesn't even go out from the rain to keep her warm. I am so concentrated on Sango that I almost miss Miroku calling my name. I turn my face to him and am greeted with the sight that haunts my deepest nightmares.

I rise and run towards him. Miroku is kneeling next to a broken Inuyasha, collapsed on the ground. Mud splashes around my ankles and rain is beginning to blur my vision.

Or was it tears?

Either way, I trip and splash mud everywhere. It's a totally ungraceful fall. Flat on my face and all. The rain washes it away just as fast as it got on me. I run faster towards them, pumping my legs to the maximum in order to get to them, ignoring the burn.

"Inuyasha!" I yell as I run towards him. Miroku's hands are at Inuyasha's chest. I reach them and fall to the ground. "Oh God, Inuyasha!" Miroku is trying to the wound to stop pumping blood by applying pressure – but it's not working. I don't know what to do. Inuyasha's eyes are closed and his breathing is irregular. Every time his heart pumped blood, some would spill over Miroku's hands and onto the firerat haori he wore all the time.

Inuyasha's blood is redder than his clothes. I can tell because I see it. His blood is a deep crimson. It's beautiful – because it's a part of him. But I can't help but feel like I'm spying – spying into his body and looking at a part of him I was never meant to witness.

I finally touch him. I grab his hand and clutch it to my heart. I love you so, so much, I want to say to him. He opens his eyes and knows. I could just hear him say 'I've known, Kagome,' to me. We should be happy that we're sharing this – but we're not. He stares at me with his beautiful amber eyes. I see understanding and knowledge – not resignation or defeat. Inuyasha is a fighter, so he'll never give up. But this time, there is nothing to fight. So he just becomes angry and frustrated. And so am I. He's trying hard, I can tell. But it won't be enough.

Oh Inuyasha, I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I-

His eyes close, and blood slowly stops pouring over Miroku's hand. His hands get colder as the rain becomes a waterfall.

-love you.

~to be continued...

babble: oh my gawd! That was so hard to write! I promise though, there will be Sesshoumaru x Kagome action soon. No lemons in the near future AT ALL! So all you hentai readers can groan right about now. But there will be a lemon......just not in the next gazillion chapters or so. I have a plot for this story that keeps changing – even though the basic idea is still kept. So, don't expect updates for a while....

Anyway, please rate and review...or review and rate...or rate/review...or...yeah >

I don't know whether or not I want to finish this story using the POV of Kagome. It's sort of hard to write in the first person perspective. But then again, it's hard to write using third person perspective too... hm... please review and tell me how you feel about the story (especially in regards to the POV thing. Question for readers: Kag's POV or 3rd person – and lets forget about omniscient and limited – for the rest of the fic?)

Oh and a note about the fic: This is NOT one of the lame-assed fics about Inuyasha dying or not and then Sesshoumaru coming to join in with the Inu-gang. I'm not a real big fan of that. I mean some stories can pull it off....but it gets real old real fast. Spoiler for my fic: There shall be no joining of the two groups. But you probably already figured that out.

And finally, about Sango's pregnancy – I'll explain later.

Thank you very much for reading this and have a lovely whatever-the-time-is day.

Sincerely stabbing fake people,

Beckyducky

*quackpth*