I Remember by Musouka

Chapter 1- Sad And Lonely ... Edited

Title- I Remember

Summary-{You say you love me now, but where were you when I said I loved you ...} I remember when I walked out. I remember when I screamed I hated you. But somehow deep inside I'm still loving you. I'm sad and lonely.}

Chapter 1- Sad And Lonely

I laid in my bed looking out the window, watching the clouds go by. Today was boring and uneventful. Jakotsu, and Sango took me shopping and out to eat, like they do every weekend. Kuro brought Shippo over to play and Naraku called (Same old tired routine). When did my life get so drab and normal. It was never like this when I was with Sess- him.

He kept me on my feet whether with joy or sadness. I remember how he would hold me and how he would ignore my presence. I remember the good and the bad. I laid in bed for another hour thinking about him and the past. How my life use to be. How I wasn't sad and lonely well at least not all the time, but then I thought about the loneliness and the sadness I felt when he ignored me and my affections.

Nothing was ever good enough for him and it took me 2 long years to realize that. I sat up in my bed and wiped my burning eyes. I pulled myself from out of bed and towards the bathroom. I turned on the shower and allowed steam to fill the room while I undressed. I stepped into the shower and remember the many times I bathed him and he did the same for me.

I remembered how his lips felt against my shoulders and on my breast and even on my jewel. I remember how his big strong hands cupped my breast, and slapped my ass. I remember how his length completed me till no end. I remember the crys of ecstasy and the how I would tell him I love you and he would say,"As I do you". It was the closes thing I got to an I love you but it made me happy none the less.

"God Kagome stop thinking about him its been almost a year now" I mumbled to myself, rinsing my body off and stepping out of the shower. I wrapped a fluffy silver towel around my body and turned the water off in the shower. I washed my face and brushed my teeth before blow drying my waist length hair.

I gave myself large flowing curls before heading out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom. I sat down in front of my dresser and applied my lip and eye liner along with smoky black eyeshadow. I applied a small amount of blush and a nice gloss on my lips to finish of my facial package. I dropped my towel and pulled out my lacy black strapless bra and thong set. I slide into them with ease before stepping into my satin black dress. It came just below my mid-thigh, with a thin lining.

The upper part of my dress cupped and held my breast showing off enough cleavage to entice, but not enough to make me look like some whore. The rest of the dress was flowing and free giving me a big enough range to breath and move around. I slide on my black heals that buckled at my ankle. I placed my diamond chandelier earrings with matching bracelet on before grabbing my small black purse filled with my keys, drivers license and lip gloss and heading out the door.

I sat downstairs and waited for Rin to finish getting dressed. She was dragging me out to some open mic club like she use to do. I remember sitting downstairs waiting on her to finish getting dressed, like I'm doing now. I remember how she brightened up the room when she walked into it, but then again I remember her leaving me alone almost a year ago.

"Rin" I yelled from downstairs.

"I'm almost done big brother I'll be down in a few minuets I have to find my other shoe."she yelled back from her bedroom.

I walked away from the stairs and headed over to the bar. I poured a small glass of crown royal and gulped it down. I felt the warm feeling in my chest that was empty at the same time. I remember the warmth feeling that she use to give me whenever she massaged my shoulders or kissed my lips. I remember the swelling in my chest when she accomplished something that she considered a hard task, while I considered it minor.

I took another gulp of crown before walking away from the bar and taking a sit on the sofa. The sofa that held so many memories. I remember taking her on this very couch on many occasions, but I also remember watching her tears fall on this very couch when I did something that she considered wrong. I never apologized for my wrong doings nor would I ever. I was Lord Sesshomaru, Daiyoukia of the West and ruler of everything and everyone. I could do as I pleased but she never really understood that.

"Okay big brother I'm ready to go now" Rin announced while walking down the stairs. Her hair was pulled up into a beautiful high bun with her bangs swept to the side. She had on a orange and black cocktail dress that hit her right above her knee and hugged her ever curve.

"Rin from now on never should keep this Sesshomaru waiting."

"Yes sir," She said bowing her head and showing submission. I grabbed her hand and pulled her out the door and behind me, locking it in the process.

I sat backstage bursting with nerves, no matter how many times I performed at open mic I never got over my stage freight.

"Kagome you have 5 minuets till show time."

"Okay Shippo"

I walked over to the curtain and peaked out of it. I watched how more and more people piled into the Feudal Café, and I could've sworn I saw silver hair in the crowd, but I knew my mind was just playing tricks on me. He would never come to an open mic without being forced to do so. Well maybe Rin dragged him here, she did have him wrapped around her finger last time I checked. I watched Ayumi finish the rest of her song before saying her thanks and walking off the stage.

"Gome I think the crowd is ready for you" she whispered walking past me.

"Really?" I asked fidgeting with my bracelet.

"Yes really. Go get 'em girl!" she said flashing me a bright smile and the peace sign. I silently giggled to myself and waited for Miroku to finish introducing me.

"Ladies and Gentlemen give another round of applause for Ayumi. That girl can sing can't she! Okay well now it's the time that you've all been waiting for, and if this is your first time here then your in for a big surprise. She has the beauty of a Greek goddess and the voice of an angel. Can I get a nice warm welcome for Kagome Higurashi!"

The crowd around me erupted into cheers and my body went rigid. Kagome my Kagome was here singing at open mic, and from the way the announcer was talking she had been doing this for a while. I watched her walk onto the stage and my body relaxed at the sight of her beauty. This past year had done her body good. She had developed a lot more since the last time I had seen her. She was more fuller in the bust area but she was still toned and elegant.

"Hello Ladies and Gentlemen I'm glad you all showed up tonight. I've got something on my mind right now. I'm missing an ex, but not just any ex no the ex I fell in and out of love with. I've been remembering all the things we use to do, and all the things he didn't do. Anyways to make a long story short I'm going to perform I Remember By Keyshia Cole.

Ohhh....

Remember...

Ohhh, I remember...

I wanna know...

[Verse 1:]

Where were you when I said I loved you?

And where were you when I cried at night?

Waiting up, couldn't sleep without you.

Thinking of all the times we shared.

[Chorus:]

I remember when my heart broke.

I remember when I gave up loving you.

My heart couldn't take no more of you.

I was sad and lonely.

I remember when I walked out.

I remember when I screamed I hated you.

But somehow deep inside I'm still loving you.

I'm sad and lonely.

[Verse 2:]

No one knew all the pain I went through.

All the love I saved deep in my heart for you.

Didn't know where I would go, where I would be.

But you made me leave.

And plus my heart it just, it just kept telling me so.

[Chorus:]

I remember when my heart broke.

I remember when I gave up loving you.

My heart couldn't take no more of you.

I was sad and lonely.

I remember when I walked out.

I remember when I said I hated you.

But somehow deep inside I'm still loving you.

So sad and lonely.

[Bridge:]

There was nowhere else to go, oh.

Nobody else to turn to, no.

For the rest of my life, I promised myself I will love me first genuinely.

[Chorus:]

I remember when my heart broke.

I remember when I gave up loving you.

My heart couldn't take no more of you.

I was sad and lonely.

I remember when I walked out.

I remember when I said I hated you.

But somehow deep inside I'm still loving you.

Sad and lonely.

I remember when I walked out.

I remember when I gave up loving you.

My heart couldn't take no more of you.

So sad and lonely, hey.

I remember when I stormed out.

I remember when I gave up loving you.

I was sad and lonely.

The song finished and I saw the tears glistening her eyes. I knew how bad she wanted to cry. I knew how bad she wanted to hide. And I also knew how much pain I caused her. I never knew or better yet never acknowledged the pain she was feeling because I was too busy ignoring the truth. I blamed her for leaving, when I was really the one to blame. I forced her out of my life it was all my fault. I didn't hear Rin call out my name. I didn't notice the guard chasing after me. I just knew I had to get back to Kagome and apologize to her for my wrong doing.

"Kagome!" I called out as her figure walked out the back door.

I can't believe it feels this bad.

I can't believe I'm not over him.

I can't believe I'm crying.

It would seem that he is the reason for most of my tears. I hurried off the stage and grabbed my purse while quickly heading towards the back exit. I couldn't allow these people see the tears falling from my eyes. I couldn't allow them to see me weakened to such a state. I heard many comments good and bad on my way towards the door and even when I heard my name being called I still continued to venture further and further towards the exit door.

I pushed it opened and broke out into mid sprint when I heard the door close behind me. I could've sworn I heard my name being called, but once again I didn't care if anyone needed me they would be out here chasing after me. I ran up towards my car and pulled out my keys pressing the unlock button and just when I was about to open the door and get in something or someone stopped me.

"Kagome." I didn't even have to look up I knew it was him from his tone of voice.

"Sesshomaru, come here to tell me how I should move on and leave us in the past?" I bit out

"No."

"Then why are you here. You and I haven't seen each other in a year or so and all of a sudden you wanna spark a friendly conversation?"

"Yes and no."

"Really now?" she bit out sarcastically.

"I heard you. That song you sang I figured out who you were talking about and I wanted to apologize."

"For what there's nothing to apologize for. I left because of you. I'm sad and lonely because of you. I stay locked up in my apartment because of you. There's nothing for you to apologize about really."

"Kagome..."

"Sesshomaru look I don't have time for this. I'm going home and crawling into my empty cold bed to dream about the life and the family I could've had with anyone but you."

"Kagome listen-"

"No, so you can apologize and explain to me that now you actually understand why I left?"

"Yes, I mean no, I love you."

I stared at him as if he had an extra head. What the hell?! Did he think that just telling me that he loved me was going to change something or even make a difference the damage was done.

"As do I. Now if you excuse me..."

He moved away from my car and allowed me to get in. I cranked it up and burned off towards my apartment leaving him to be sad and lonely.

Because ...

I remember and will always remember being ...

Sad and Lonely ...

-End-

Thanks To Mi Beta Reader For Editing This Story ... Also I Would Like Mi Reviewers Opinion ... Should I Keep This Story Going Or Leave it As An One-Shot?