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Diverging Paths by Sailor Panda

Chapter 1: Longing

I see an endless expanse of calm,

placid waters, that hide too well,

the turbulence within.

If only to know the true extent of that struggle,

your struggle.

Silently looking down upon the calm waters of the sea below the cliff on which he stood alone, away from prying eyes of enemy or ally, he was reminded of her and the past. Not just the blue of her eyes which seemed to shift with her moods just as the color of water changed with varying degrees of light, but how her spirit had seemed to teem with life and energy despite the calm fascade she sometimes appeared to present even in the face of danger.

It had always been so, ever since she had first crossed his path, unwittingly throwing him off balance when she had stood there in foolish bravery whilst pointing the sword that he thought would be obtained by him. She had done what he had not thought possible for one of her kind, freeing the sword he had searched for so long when he had been unable to do so and surprising him as few of any race had been able to do and live to tell about it.

That first meeting had begun it all. Since then, he had often wondered how his thoughts had seemed to become more and more consumed by her as time went on. In the beginning, thoughts of her had wafted across his mind so vaguely and briefly as to be nearly negligible and hardly of any note. But as the encounters between them increased, so did the frequency of her appearance in his consciousness.

It was because of power and the question concerning hers that had made him so preoccupied with her.

That was what he had told himself. Perhaps it had been true once upon a time. He had, after all, puzzled over the mystery of how a human had been able to break the seal on his father's mighty legacy when the awesome powers of youkai had failed to do so. He had been certain that there had to be more to the seemingly normal human who had been able to accomplish such a feat.

As he continued to ponder the matter in his mind, there had been a part of him that had opened more to curiosity about her, wanting to know more about the circumstances that had brought their paths crossing, desiring knowledge about the oddities surrounding her from her odd ways of dress to her mannerisms which seemed so different from that of other lowly humans he had been unfortunate enough to stumble across in his travels.

The fire in you eyes ignites my own excitement.

to be a part of the life you have led.

Yet then I would not be myself,

I go.

With the curiosity about her aroused in his mind, he had somehow found himself coming across her and her traveling companion time and time again, more times than he cared to count and times of which she was unaware. There were occasions where he had stumbled across the two travelers and had been able to use his greater skill to conceal his presence from their knowledge, had been able to watch their interactions with each other unobserved and undetected, became intrigued with their actions towards one another.

Then he had found himself desirous of switching places with her companion.

In all his long years of life, such a thing had never happened before. When one such as himself felt the first inklings of wishing to be a hanyou, he had realized the danger, the beginnings of journeying down a path he should not take nor had any intentions of doing so. And so, he had decided it the wisest course to keep his distance and leave the travelers free of his unnoticed presence.

You have become another piece of my past.

a great joy in my showing me to grow strong.

Like so many other things,

you now hold me back, so long as I hold tight.

I cannot reach my highest bound.

if bounds limit me at all.

With you in my life right now.

Although his intent had been to stay away, events had not worked out to that effect as new enemies had arisen to the forefront and made the acquisition of greater strength even more necessary. Remembering how he had been led by one of the worst foes he had encountered to date into once more facing those he had resolved to avoid had familiar irritation rising in him again though such emotions never expressed themselves visibly.

However, his intention to see the spider fall remained as strong as it had since the incident where he had used the insect's entrapped arm and failed a second time in reclaiming his father's legacy. Such an insidious enemy that used any weaknesses of his opponents was to be respected but he could not forgive such a one for using such tactics against himself. He who ruled over the Western Lands could not let such a transgression remain unpunished.

To face such an enemy, he must show no weaknesses by which the spider would surely use to advantage.

And so, once again, he had resolved not to give in to his interest in watching the travelers as they continued in their hunt for the shards in which their enemies held desire for as well. To show such a regard for her and her companions would be to point the way to weakness, inviting the preying spider to feast. And that was something he could not allow. He must show no flaws in his guard to be used against him and that meant keeping his distance, continuing on his own journey to obtain his goal of delivering the fatal blow to the spider once and for all.

My mentor,

My lover,

My friend.

I have stepped into the oceans of your life.

felt the current pull at my body, my soul.

Still, adhering to his resolution had been a trying task that he had been unable to keep. There had been a brief moment of aberration on his part when he had taken up his observations once again on the traveling company, had been approached by her one night away from the prying eyes of her comrades.

She'd caught him off guard once again on that night, detecting his presence when he had thought himself concealed so well that even that hanyou had failed to notice his being there. He had been certain then, was certain even now, that she possessed mysterious powers that seemed to grow stronger with the passage of time. He had been eager and curious about the mysteries that appeared to cloak her and had, in the solitude of the shadowy forest that surrounded the two of them, found himself opening to her in a way he had never done to any other being and never would have if other eyes had been watching them.

That night was only for the two of them, the memory of which he was certain was kept in secret pleasure by her just as it was for him.

Although he had felt a drastic change within him to the depths of his soul after that, in ways he had never intended, he could not bring himself to regret it. She had shown him, taught him, that emotions he thought to be a weakness could be turned into a strength surpassing even that which he could only dream of possessing. And he had taken comfort, confided in her as he had no other in a manner he had previously before would never have dreamed of doing as he had found himself drawn towards her more and more.

Like the waters that drip from my hands,

I must let it flow up to and away from me.

I must let you,

who is my beautiful sea,

deep blue of mystery,

lively green of passion,

a composed surface that conceals such pain,

frustration,

Go.

However, such a time for them was not meant to last. They had ended up parting but, like the seas that enclosed his island homeland upon which he stood, the memories of her and the brief moments they shared surrounded him always, unbeknownst to all but the two of them. Thoughts of her, the changing blue hues of her eyes, the mysterious aura that seemed to hover around her, her zest for life, were never far from his mind as was the faint regret he felt at leaving her with her companions to deal with the hardships that came with their quest. Though she had said no words, instinct gave him the knowledge that the trials she had faced with her tender heart had pained her to no end.

But at that time, there had been nothing he could do without having her become a weakness to be exploited and used against him.

And so they had separated to travel on separate paths once more, he on his own journey with his vassal while she continued on with her comrades which had grown since when first they had met. The number and strength of her companions, though mainly mortal, had been reassurance that she would fair better from the size of her party against the enemy and freed him to forge forth on his own quest which had taken him to places where mere humans were forbidden to tread. Such measures were necessary and firmed his resolve to keep his distance once more until their enemy was stricken down and then perhaps, perhaps, there would be an opportunity for more. But until that day was to come, for now their paths must remain diverged.

I see an endless expanse...

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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