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Goodbye by Rikana

Snowfall

Sesshomaru just... kinda froze. His mind didn't seem to register her words right away, but that didn't last. Turning his head to look over his shoulder at the miko, Sesshomaru wondered if the wounds she was suffering caused her to become dillusional. It just seemed that his half brother had been to stubborn to die, and with Tetsusiaga at his side it seemed impossible. But then he looked into her eyes. Full of sadness and longing, despair and depression. At that moment he knew she was not lying, vaugley remembering how much she seemed to care for InuYasha no matter what he did.

"Dead?" he asked softly.

She nodded, looking to the side distantly, "... Na- Naraku killed him..."

A rage erupted inside Sesshomaru. Though he had thought no one else could possibly be his half-brother's murder, hearing it made his rage stronger. That damn hanyo dare harm a member of his family, that was his buisness and no others. And at that moment he knew he would not be set at rest until Naraku lay dead at his feet, his brother's death avenged. His eyes were drawn to the miko once more. He knew InuYasha had loved her, and knew that he had most likely sacrificed his life for her. At the least, well, it wouldn't hurt...

"Get up miko, we're leaving."

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Silence. Silence in her mind, her world, her reality.

The young miko stared out to the forest while Rin leaned up against her chest, fast asleep. Riding on the large yokai that tagged along with Sesshomaru, she made no sound, just stared blankly and thought. The taiyokai bothered her none, him too lost deep in his own thoughts while he walked just feet ahead of them, Jaken in turn trying to keep up with his lord. Maybe he worried about her, maybe he didn't. Not even the taiyokai himself was sure of his own thoughts. All he knew was that he would find his hanyo brother's body later this night while the others slept, and at least give him a descent funeral next to his mortal mother's grave. Only because InuYasha had been his last "close" family, where as he and his mother bearly spoke to one another now a days.

Behind him, the miko too was trying to deal with her friends death. She was hurting, her wounds patched but sore, her head feeling as if it would split in two at any time... She just wanted to cry.

Alone... I'm alone, alone... they're dead... all of them...why?...

And as the tears welled up in her eyes, she wiped them away as quick as she could. She wanted to stay strong, to be able to deal with this... but doubt filled her mind. Kagome knew no matter what she did, if she managed to kill Naraku and avenge their deaths, they wouldn't come back. Not even Sesshomaru could bring them back at this point. It was too late. Much too late for anyone. But the worst was just that one reality, one she could have never fathomed until it happened, the reality of how fragile everything was and is. It could all dissapear in a matter of seconds. Years could dissaperate in millisecond with one small action. And now more than ever she feared life, she feared for her own and for everyone else's around her more than ever.

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Not again. Please... no... not again. I - I can't stand this anymore...

The distressed demon slayer wiped tears away from her eyes feircely, trying to pull herself together, trying to think straight. But no matter how determined she was at this point, no matter how much she willed, she could not get to her feet and walk away as she had all the other times before. This time, everything she had left was gone in a mere second. And this time, this time it was just too much for her mind.

Around her lay the bodies of her commerads, minus InuYasha and Kagome. In a last desperate attempt they had fled from Naraku, flying away on Kirara as the demons had advanced. She, Miroku, and Shippo couldn't fight them at this point, Miroku had not the courage or strength to open the Kazanna at this point. But, miraculously, Kirara had used all her remaining energy to get them off their trail, hiding in the brush that the bodies now lay. Shippo had just collapsed from the poisin flowing in his veins as Kirara had landed, hitting the ground long after he had died. Kirara had too collapsed from her wounds and lack of demonic energy - and died, just like that. But Miroku, InuYasha's stubborness must have rubbed off on him. It had taken hours of fever, tears, and pain for him to pass away. And in those hours he had layed his head in Sango's lap and spoken softly to her, whether she understood him or not, in tears or in pain, nothing could shut him up. But then, with a sigh and a sudden shaking of his body he whispered his last words of love into Sango's ears and released his last breath, starting the journey to join his commerads in the afterlife.

Now the demon slayer knelt, shaking in tears, alone in the darkest day in her life. Her family was gone, her friends murdered, her love dead, her brother helpless under the control of a dark spider hanyo... it could make someone commit suicide at this point. Not one person could deal with what Sango had dealt with in the past, no one could still fight and seek revenge after the horror of her past tragedies - but she had. She had learned to move on and fight, to laugh and love, to drive herself so far by the one determination of revenge. But now it had all piled on top of her, growing heavier and heavier, until today. Today was her darkest day, the day she had broken. The day she had given up on life...

Is death... that bad? she thought in depression, Could dishonoring my family and myself be so bad? There is no honor left to defile anyways, the honor disapeared as they did... the honor I had died today with Miroku, Kirara, InuYasha, Kagome, and Shippo. Kohaku isn't alive now, his corpse is - not the boy that was my brother. Naraku has destroyed everything I ever thought I had, ever since... ever since the day I tried to defend myself of Kohaku's mindless murder...

Slowly the young woman turned these suicidal thoughts over in her head, considering her own death. Then reality slapped her right in the face. They had died trying to avenge their loved ones and pride, they had died in a battle to save anyone that could fall victim to Naraku's hand if the jewel would ever fall in his power. If she died now, who would be there to save them? Sesshomaru maybe, but he was to unpredictable to put your trust in him to kill Naraku. No, she would live, she'd work though this just like she had in the past. She would avenge everyone... or, at least, she would try.

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Rin still slept against Kagome's chest, temporarily lost in a world of little fear and evil, fast asleep. But the young miko lay awake, silent as the dead. She was thinking about her last encounter with InuYasha, thinking about his words, his warmth, his love. She missed him. In so little time away, she missed him with all her heart. She half wondered if she could even face going home - she half wondered how long staying with Sesshomaru would last. He tolerated Rin, but he probably wouldn't tolaterate her for long. Craning her neck to look at the stars she wished she could just sit InuYasha and he'd come falling down from the heavens. It might hurt him, but she was pretty sure he wouldn't mind much. But she knew that those little fantasies would never come true... she knew that she wouldn't see him untill she died, a day which seemed too far away.

She knew he had given his life for her, and she knew he was happy. And no matter what happen from this point on - she would kill Naraku with her arrow and avenge InuYasha's death, even if it killed her. No matter what happened from now on, nothing would stop her from killing Naraku. Not Kaugra, not Kanna, no one would stop her.

Sighing, she returned her gaze to the forest in front of her. She could feel the tears running down her cheeks, leaving cold trails behind them, falling onto her school uniform. But she didn't care at this point. Sesshomaru was gone, Jaken and Rin were asleep. There was no one to see her cry at this point, no one but the stars. And the stars wouldn't talk - they never did. The stars held secrets of past civilizations and the ancient people, they held the secrets of time and space, they held the secrets of her travels and her sorrows, they held the secrets from the people of modern day America to the people of modern day Japan. Then, slowly, the young miko's eyelids drooped, closed, and she fell into a restless sleep in the dead of the night.

---

Kagome awoke in the early morning, pained with a headache and aching injuries, she wasn't too suprised to find Rin still cuddled close to her. She closed her eyes again, half wishing she could go back to sleep and return to her dreams. She had felt alive in her dreams, like everything that had happened had been the dream. She'd been with them all, laughing and having a good time around a blazing fire that danced in front of her eyes. There had been no worries about Naraku or the collecting of the jewel shards, they had all just been teasing one another - mainly InuYasha- and swapping stories about the happier times of their childhoods. But now that was over, the dream had faded into oblivion as her eyes had opened. They were gone with the night.

Slowly the young one started to stir, Kagome shifting her position. For a moment Kagome saw her as a close example of herself as a young one, but quickly dissmissed the thought, not seeing a real point in the line of thought. Instead she turned her attention to the upcoming sense of a yokai, but soon recognized it as Sesshomaru, then standing as the young one did. Rin gave her a good morning smile, then began to rub sleep out of her eyes, yawning. Glancing at Sesshomaru as he appeared from behing the trees, something caught her eye. He had Tetsusaiga in his hand.

"...Wh- Where did you get that Sesshomaru?" she asked, her eyes not moving from the sword.

He gave a short glance her way, then spoke in a low tone, "I went and found InuYasha's body last night - at least what was left of it. I buired it next to his mortal mother's grave, then found this on my way back. The hanyo had enough sense to get rid of it before he died, otherwise, this would be in Naraku's filthy hand at this point."

Then, without a glance back, he began to walk back into the trees at a different route from which he came, Rin running after him. Kagome followed hesitantly, slightly shocked. Sesshomaru had enough care to go find and bury InuYasha's remains... which was the last thing that would be expected from the taiyokai. She then began to follow Rin, her head spinning.

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"...Closing your eyes to dissapear, you pray your dreams will leave you here...

And still you wake, but know the truth, no one's there...

Say goodnight, don't be afraid, calling me, calling me as you fade to black...

Holding my last breath, safe inside myself...

Of all my thoughts of you

Sweet raptured life, it ends here tonight..."

-"My Last Breath" Evanescence

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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