Could and Couldn't Be by Mystic Miko

Could and Couldn't Be

Disclaimer: Inuyasha and co. are not among my limited property [AKA: I do not own].

Okay, hope you like it, just a short oneshot that popped into my head and forced my to write it [it used violence...I have bruises I'll have you know!]

Please enjoy. :::hypnotizes you::: Review. You want to review. :::wakes you up and starts whistling while looking elsewhere guiltily:::


Twirling, dancing, spinning round and round.

Masked faces all around me.

I try to look beneath; to see the hidden faces but before I can accomplish my task I'm off spinning again. Twirling around the room in an intricate dance made even more so by the man who's fingers clasp mine, the man who's fingers splay over my lower back in a heated caress that just comes naturally to him.

How can he not know what he does to me? All I have to do is look at him and my heart flutters, I merely hear his name and I blush. When he says my name I want to melt and never be parted from him again. But he's oblivious, he either doesn't know or doesn't care. He must know, how can he not when he does this to each and every woman in the room. Every female he touches goes weak in the knees.

I know that every woman in this room tonight will find a lover and pretend that it's really him they're taking home. I would guess that quite a few men are going to be wearing his name in the dark. Yes my dear Lord Sesshomaru, I know why there are always far more women than men at your parties even if you do not. Still though, even as I look at you longingly I can tell that your gaze is on another. I should hate her for holding your attention so utterly, but I cannot, for she is just as oblivious to the looks and reactions she gathers as you are to yours.

I too look over to her, knowing already to whom your gaze is attached to. Her wavy raven hair is down and swirling around her like a magical cloak when her dance partner twirls her. Her blue eyes are sparkling, lighting up the room around you just as your golden eyes melt the hearts of those that see you. I know that you two were made for each other, even if she is only human.

After all, this thing...this ball, it was her idea and not minutes after she had spoken of the thing you had servants out to do her bidding. How foolish for you not to see that you have fallen in love with her just as much as she has for you. I see the way she stares at you, blue eyes sparkling with passion whenever you walk into the room. When the two of you are together no one else exists. Yes my Lord Seshsomaru, you and Kagome were truly meant to be.

Still, even while I cannot deny my friend the pleasure of your love it pains me to know that your love for me will never extend to that beyond the love one holds for a ward. And now your eyes are back on me and you are excusing yourself before sweeping over to her and taking her into your arms. Neither of you realize that you have captured the attention of everyone in the room. They've all stopped dancing, all eyes are on the two of you.

You seem to glow as you two waft around the room, your feet never touching the floor and her dress flowing about her like the wings of a butterfly. And now I have to smile painfully when I see you comment on the beautiful white flowers and Kagome tells you that I gathered them for you. "Yes," you say, "that is very much like Rin."

I can feel the tears prick behind my eyes and I know I must leave before I cry. For you shall surely come to my rescue like always, but this time you cannot rescue me, for you cannot even rescue yourself from true love. And so I retire early, smiling as Master Jaken gives me a knowing look and takes me to my room, muttering something about stupid humans and their feelings.

I know he is only trying to make me feel better.

I take one more look back and I see you and Kagome perfectly still, eyes locked in each other's gaze and lips locked in a heated kiss before all. It is then that my fate is finalized. I will never have your love, but I will hide my pain and be happy for you and Kagome, for both of you are precious to me, and what is love if not the want for the one you love to be truly happy. I know that Kagome will make you truly happy my Lord Sesshomaru, and tomorrow I will smile and congratulate you both, but tonight is mine. For tonight I will cry for my broken heart even as I wish for what could not be.


Hope you liked it. Tell me what you thought either way.

Mystic Miko

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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