I Wasn't There for You by sesshyluver17

I Wasn't There for You

I was bored while waiting for the doctor to finish up with this other patient and so I decided to make a poem, and this is what came out, then I decided to make it into a story with three poems, but it' only going to be a oneshot.

Kagome, a well figured, raven haired, blue eyed beauty, slowly walked through the halls of her highschool, mascara streaks smearing her pale face as tried to ignore the stares and whispers. She wore a black t-shirt with the words 'love' in red, but they had marks going through it, and knife below with the words 'is like a dagger to the heart' in white. Her ripped baggy jeans hid the scars along her thihs, showing nothing but a 'freak' to the world. A loud unpleasant name was called at her, reminding her why she was feeling so betrayed and alone in the first place.

Wandering through these halls,

Your face haunts my memroy.

'Slut' I hear, 'Loser' they say,

But none of this, 'none' I repeat

Comes close to how I feel without you.

Kagome winced inwardly as an image of a silver haired youkai floated into her minds eyes. In this one, he was staring at her with love, the love he hardly showed to anyone. And yet, she could always see it, deep in his golden irises that he hid from the world.

Then another image made itself known. In this one, he stared at her in fury and hatred, glaring at her like she was beneath him. And at the moment, like before he came to her rescue, she did feel beneath him. Hell, she knew in her heart, she was beneath him. Not worthy of his love, body, mind or soul. She was unworthy of everything and everyone.

Your eyes, once so full of love

Now penetrat me with loathing and hatred.

I don't know why you feel this way

All I know is that I hurt.

She bent her head to hide her tears that would not stop coming. She ducked the hug of her friend Sango, pushed her other friend Miroku to the side, and ran for cover in the only place she could go. The janitor's closet.

Yes, her sancuary before he came. The place she would sit and cry, curling in on herself before the janitor came and kicked her out. But not anymore. Here is where she would stay, where she believed she belonged. For all eternity, her soul would stay in that little cramped room, her only company; a bucket of mop water, a broom, and the razer she had in her faded jeans.

I force myself into a corner

Blocking all from my mind.

The dagger at my chest,

So much like the razor at my wrist,

Kagome let out a silent sob as she locked the door to the janitor's closet, knowing that it would take him a moment to fumble with his keys. She walked towards a milk crate, setting her worn journal on the dirty floor as she pulled the razor blade form her pocket.

It plunges through my heart

As the blade slices hrough my skin and vains.

Kagome bit her lip from the pain, not wishing to alarm anyone to her actions. As she sliced through one wrist, she felt it start to numb. With a determined gasp, and heart felt sob, she sliced her other with the last of her strength.

Just as the last thought of you,

Passes through.

'I know I can't be perfect, and wish I could have been more to you,' Kagome whisoered in her mind, her vision fading as she heard the old janitor grumble about kids locking doors that shouldn't be locked. 'but, I hope, leaving here, and leaving your life, will make you happy. I love you Sesshoumaru.' Her vision faded as the janitor swung the door open, a grim look to his eyes as he opened his mouth in a call for help.

_____________________________________________________

Sesshoumaru sat at Kagome's bedside watching her sleep with a pained expression in her face. Tubes were stuck into her body, machines all around her bed. She was hurt badly, and the blood she was recieving as of now may not make it in time. Images of the day passing through his mind, like little ghosts letting him know of what he did.

Sitting in this room

Watching as you sleep.

The smell of medicine and sickness waft into my nose

As you toos and turn, fearing the darkness of your dreams.

My heart clenches as you begin to sweat,

This is my doing.

Sesshoumaru watched the woman he love shake her head from side to side, sweat linign her brow as she whimpered in her sleep, trying to convey to anyone that she need help.

His gaze traveled from her face and down her body, landing on the bandages at her wrist. Without a thought he gripped her small hand in his larg one, careful to keep his claws from her porclien like skin.

Those cuts at your wrists,

Might as well have been done by my hands.

I grasp your hand in my own

Flinching at the icyness of your pale skin

Kagome suddenly growled in her sleep, pulling her hand from his and turning away from him. Sesshoumaru didn't bother to stop the single tear that fell down his cheek and acroos his chin, traling down his neck until it met his shirt, it's journey ending, but its sugnifigence remains.

A lone tear falls down my cheek

As you ubconciously pull aay from me

I believed you had betrayed me,

Embracing lovingly with another.

I was hurt, I will admit,

But not as much as you.

Sesshoumaru growled low in his chest as his brother's face flashed in his mind. 'How could I have believed the hanyou? I should have known by her scent and shaking body. The tears falling down her face were the biggest give aways. She had no idea of what I was speaking of.'

My eyes had let loos the anger I felt toward you

And my mouth spilt that dreaded word.

'Leave' I had whispered, glaring at your tears.

But no more.

Sesshoumaru stared at the human in determination, something flashing in his eyes. 'You cried for the last time, Kagome. I won't let you hurt yourself again.' He lowed his gaze as he reached across her body, lifting the blanket so he could curl in beside her, taking warmth in the fact she snuggled closer to him. 'At least her body still seeks my comfort,' he thought dryly as he lightly kissed the back of her head.

I won't let you go.

When you awake, I'll be by your side.

For the sake f my heart, and my entire being,

Sesshoumaru nuzzled his face into Kagome's hair, breathing in her scent as his arm lifted with everyone of her labored breaths. He pulled her tighter to him as she squirmed in his hold.

Please, wake up.

_____________________________________________________

HA HA HA! I think I'll leave it there... I liked this story, I was going to do a full storylike poem thingy, but I haven't made the third poem, and haven't decided if I want to keep you guys guessing or not... lol It depends on my time mostly, and on reviews... lol but I might make the third poem tomorrow, just in case. For nor, consider this a oneshot.

Here are the poems in their actual format, might help if flow easier...

Kagome's poem

Wandering through these halls,

Your face haunts my memroy.

'Slut' I hear, 'Loser' they say,

But none of this, 'none' I repeat

Comes close to how I feel without you.

Your eyes, once so full of love

Now penetrat me with loathing and hatred.

I don't know why you feel this way

All I know is that I hurt.

I force myself into a corner

Blocking all from my mind.

The dagger at my chest,

So much like the razor at my wrist,

It plunges through my heart

As the blade slices hrough my skin and vains.

Just as the last thought of you,

Passes through.

Sesshoumaru's Poem

Sitting in this room

Watching as you sleep.

The smell of medicine and sickness waft into my nose

As you toss and turn, fearing the darkness of your dreams.

My heart clenches as you begin to sweat,

This is my doing.

Those cuts at your wrists,

Might as well have been done by my hands.

I grasp your hand in my own

Flinching at the icyness of your pale skin

A lone tear falls down my cheek

As you ubconciously pull aay from me

I believed you had betrayed me,

Embracing lovingly with another.

I was hurt, I will admit,

But not as much as you.

My eyes had let loos the anger I felt toward you

And my mouth spilt that dreaded word.

'Leave' I had whispered, glaring at your tears.

But no more.

I won't let you go.

When you awake, I'll be by your side.

For the sake of my heart, and my entire being,

Please, wake up.