Suffocation by Beautiful Silent Death

Suffocation

Suffocation

By: SilentDeath

Summery: It feels like someone is sitting on her chest, ripping out what ever will she has to breath. No matter how hard she tries, Kagome just cant seem to get the pain out of her chest, nor can she get her heart to stop hurting. Sess/Kag

Wait

I'm coming undone

Unlaced

I'm coming undone

Too late

I'm coming undone

What looks so strong

So delicate

Wait

I'm starting to suffocate

And soon I anticipate

I'm coming undone

What looks so strong

So delicate

Korn, Coming Undone

Kagome opened up a small metal case and pulled out a long menthol cigarette. With a rushed need, like a crazed addict and visible frustration, she lifted it to her lips and lights the end with a black lighter. She took long drags, filling her lungs with the much needed nicotine so she could just make it the rest of the day.

She gave a wry grin at the thing, remembering her habit to them when she was in college. That was when she met her husband of twenty years. Sesshoumaru. Twenty years. Damn. All down the drain. The fucking drain.

She stared out from her location. The roof of the thirty story office building they had worked so hard creating together. A dream for them both. One that came true. And she loved every minute of it. Every minute of it with him.

Kagome took another drag, letting the smoke exit in the soft breeze that blew by her, pushing against her messy bun. Some hair left its confines and blew in her vision. Her hair now had some silver jumping out against her raven strands. She paid no mind. Just continued smoking. She knew she shouldn't have started back up, but after two weeks ago, she found the urge to pick the habit back up. Screw it. They were all going to die, anyways. Does it matter how you go?

No.

A metal door, that was the only exit and entrance to her temporary haven, opened up. A man with long red, unruly hair stepped out on the cement surface with a dark haired young woman that resembled herself. Rin and Shippou.

Kagome glance over at the two and gave them a crooked smile before facing the city again. Clunky teenage boots and nice leather loafers clicked on the roof top until they were standing beside her, looking at the expanse of atmosphere with her.

Shippou looked at her with a saddened and knowing look. "Hey, Kagome."

The greeting was simple, but a normal one between them. He helped her run this company. They were friends, her VP, her partner in crime. Kagome kept her gaze straight. Taking another puff. "Hey."

"Mom," Rin said, looking over at her. "It is starting to get cold out here. Why don't you finish that thing and come back in."

Kagome gazed softly at her daughter. The only thing she had left of her husband. The only thing to remind her that he even existed in her life. The bastard. Now she is the only thing that keeps her here in this plane of existence. "I will." She simply said.

Rin felt her lower lip tremble. Her father leaving them was hard on her, too. She felt the same pain as her mom, but not to the extent. Her mother was dieing on the inside. It was like a piece of her soul had been torn out and no matter what, she would never get it back. She fought with her on smoking, but at least she hadn't started drinking. If this was her only retaliation on what has happened, then there isn't anything she, herself, could do about it.

They waited until she finished her cigarette before walking with her back into the building. Kagome's small escape now over. Back to reality. Yay.

______________________________________________

Kagome hadn't slept for three days. Half of the carton she bought now gone. She looked at the bottle of sleeping pills her doctor prescribed her and frowned. Kagome hated taking pills, but knew she needed to. The dark rings under her eyes had become difficult for even makeup to cover up. It just made the middle aged wrinkles around her eyes stand out more, making her look older then forty.

She felt like she was coming undone. Losing all strings to reality. Lack of sleep does that to a person. With great disdain, she opened the bottle and popped one into her mouth. She grabbed the small glass of water and swallowed it down. Damn thing. Why did he have to give her a fucking horse pill?

Kagome walked over to the drawer of her dresser and pulled out a large T-shirt. One of his shirts. The few things she hadn't gotten rid of yet. She couldn't bring herself to get rid of all of his clothing. Her doctor told her not to try to move on yet, but she just wanted the pain to go away. A lone tear ran down her face and she became furious with herself. Cussing herself for being so damn weak.

She didn't try to put her office clothes in the closet. Kagome just didn't feel like messing with it. The clothing just found residence on the floor. She will deal with it in the morning. With a smooth, fluid movement, she pulled the shirt over her head and enjoyed the feel of the fabric as it slid down her lean body. A masculine scent caught her attention. Not even fabric softener could take all the smell of him away. For a moment, she lifted the front up, and took a deep breath, loving the smell and letting better memories of their time together wash over her. It was nice.

But reality was too quick to come rushing back to her.

She turned off the light and headed to bed. She pulled the covers back and lay down on the soft bed. Kagome didn't sleep on her side anymore. Instead, she slept on his side. Sesshoumaru's pillow still smelled of him. She wouldn't wash this pillow. She will never wash this pillow.

She pressed her face into it and just breathed it in, letting the medication take hold. Her eyes hurt so badly from strain. It will be nice to sleep. Too bad she couldn't sleep forever. That would be really nice.

___________________________________________

Something heavy settled on the bed beside her. Her mind still heavy from medication, she rolled over to her side and tried to see what was going on beside her.

"You're sleeping on my side of the bed."

Her eyes shot open. "S-sesshoumaru?"

"Were you expecting someone else? Are you having an affair on me?" Sesshoumaru didn't joke with people, but that was different with his family. He always picked on his wife and daughter.

"Why are you here?" She just couldn't figure out why here husband was laying beside her. He shouldn't be here. It was impossible! He left her!

"As far as I remember, I am still your husband. And you are sleeping on my side of the bed." Sesshoumaru smirked that sexy smirk at her. The one that infuriates her. He loved doing that to her.

Kagome stopped asking questions and felt herself fill with an overwhelming sense of joy. She flung her body into his arms and clung onto him. She took note that he wasn't wearing any clothes and she pressed a needy kiss to the firm, but soft skin, of his chest. "God I love you! Don't ever leave me again. Please!" She begged desperately.

Sesshoumaru chuckled at her show of love and wrapped his strong arms around her petite form. "You know I would never leave you."

"But you did!" Kagome cried out.

"I'm here now, aren't I?" He lowered his lips to hers, starting out in a soft kiss that became passionate and loving all at the same time.

Sesshoumaru parted his lips, making her follow his lead, and slipped his tongue into her mouth, tasting the sweat essence that is Kagome. He swallowed up her tiny moan, tilting her head back so he could take more of her willing mouth.

Kagome pulled back, taking in an air. "I love you. Please know that I love you."

Sesshoumaru had never seen her so desperate in all of his life. It hurt him. He never wanted to cause her that kind of pain. "Were is the spitfire that I married?"

Kagome gave him a watery smile and playfully batted at his sculpted shoulder. "You are such a jerk! I just wanted you to know that I love you."

"I know you love me," he said as he pushed her so that she laid on her back. "And I am going to show you how much I love you."

Sesshoumaru slid his hand down and found the edge of his shirt and pulled it up over her hips. "You are wearing one of my favorite shirts, too. I don't know what I am going to do with you." He murmured against her neck as he placed small kisses and tiny nips.

He maneuvered his body over hers to were he straddled her legs and helped dispose of the stretchy fabric. He sat back, taking in her almost nude body. He never could find himself tire of looking at her. Even after forty years together, thirty-eight of them married, he found himself completely smitten with her. She is his everything. In body, mind, and soul. His soul mate.

"You're still as beautiful as the day I meet you." He whispered.

Kagome couldn't help the blush that that started at her checks and spread over her body. He always knew how to make her feel like she were a teenager again. She reached up and ran a hand through his sliver shoulder length hair, loving the texture of it. "You still have nice hair after all these years."

Sesshoumaru playfully frowned at her and haughtily ran a hand through it. As he got older, he had to cut it back. But he still kept it somewhat long. "You are just jealous because I am not graying and you are."

"Oh my God!" She mirthfully laughed. "You have always been gray. Come here you."

Sesshoumaru leaned down and locked lips with her again, enjoying the feel of her slender fingers running up through his thick silver strands. He ran his hands down her sides, reaching her panties and removing them. With a toss, they went flying in the air, landing somewhere in the darkened room.

He broke contact with her now swollen lips and started back on her velvety neck. Kagome breathed out a soft groan as he started a slow path to her collar bones and chest. Wonderful tingles erupted all over the places he burned her with his hot mouth.

Sesshoumaru leaned over her, taking one nipple in his mouth and rolled it around. It instantly hardened, the small flesh loving the feel of the attention it was getting. He soon abandoned it for the favor of the other. No sense in leaving the other with out some oral care.

Kagome arched her back, feeling sinful pleasure from the attention he granted her. She wanted more, though. "Lower..," she breathed.

Sesshoumaru was one to never disappoint. He left the beautiful globs and started down on her concave tummy. He ran his long tongue down all the curves and dips, grinning at her squirms and sighs. His fingers brushed her sides, getting soft squeals due to the tickling. Soon, he stopped at the apex of her thighs, taking in the arousing smell of her sex.

"You smell delicious, my love." His hot breath fanned her sensitive area.

"Mmm... Please...," she softly cried.

Sesshoumaru's grin turned wicked. "Tell me what you want."

Kagome spread her legs wide and whined. He was such a tease! "Please!" She bucked her hot, wet core up, closer to his face.

"Not until you tell me what you want."

Kagome glanced down into his golden eyes with her own deep blue ones. She could see the lust in them, the love. With a frustrated pout, she gave in. "I want you to taste me."

Her request was soft, but no less hungry with passion. He slid his tongue out and gave a long purposeful lick from her seeping entrance, to her throbbing clit. The cry she let out almost deafened him, but still made him swell with manly pride that he caused his loving wife to scream in ecstasy.

Sesshoumaru locked his arms around her hips, trying to keep them in place as he continued his oral assault on her sex. He glanced up and watched as she grasped the pillow with her hands, digging her nails into it, so she had something to hang onto. She never looked more beautiful.

Kagome's legs shook with the intensity of his licking. Soon, she started to feel the tell-tale signs of the much needed relief build in her lower abdomen. "Oh yes! Faster!"

Sesshoumaru attached onto her clit and sucked it for all he was worth. The affect was what pushed her over the edge. Kagome screamed out his name to the large room and clutched her thighs around his head, ridding the waves of extreme spasms.

After her body came down from its high, her legs loosened up and Sesshoumaru sat up, stroking his long and hard cock. Kagome eyed it with greed and want. A small bead of pre-cum leaked on the tip and she quickly moved forward, taking lips and locking them over his head. She sucked on it, taking in the taste that is Sesshoumaru and enjoying the sharp intake of air to show that he approved of her bold move.

Sesshoumaru moved one of his hands to her hair, keeping it back so he could watch her and used his other hand to brace himself. He watched as she began to bob her head, taking in more every time she went lower. Kagome never could take all of him, but still accomplished a good deal of the lengthy dick. Every time she pulled back, a mixture of pre-cum and her thick saliva glistened on his cock only to be covered back up with her mouth when she pulled it back in.

The sensation was becoming too much for him and soon he grabbed Kagome's hair, pulling her up for a deep kiss. He tasted himself, but didn't mind. She is his and he took pride in tasting himself in her sweet mouth.

Sesshoumaru pushed her back onto the mattress and spread her legs wide. "I am going to fuck you good and hard, my love."

The words to Kagome were like music and she grinned in anticipation. Her blue eyes widened as she watched him slowly push the tip of his head into her entrance. Two weeks. God how she missed this. Trying to rush the process, she bucked her hips up, only succeeding in getting a little more.

Sesshoumaru wickedly grinned at her needy whine. "Don't worry, pet. I will give you what you need."

He forcefully grabbed her rounded hips and shoved the whole length of his cock into her heat. Kagome cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure. He sat there for a moment, letting her get used to him and just enjoying the feel of her tightly fitted around him.

Kagome didn't want to wait. She needed him, needed this. "No," she breathed. "I want you to fuck me. Fuck me hard. Fuck me long."

Sesshoumaru almost thought he would explode at hearing her lustful demand. With a grunt and gritted teeth, he started taking long, purposeful strokes. The pace was slow, but it soon changed after a few minutes.

The bed shook and creaked with their movements and they both almost feared waking their daughter with the noise of their lovemaking. Sesshoumaru watched with hooded eyes as he wife's breasts danced in time to his movements. He tightened his grip on her hips, almost bruising them. Sweat poured down both of their bodies, mixing with the smells of hot sex.

"I'm getting close, Sess...," Kagome cried. She could feel him hit her G spot every time he pushed in her. She wanted to continue this. Never to stop. But the need to cum was getting too strong. In desperate need to hurry it up, she reached one of her hands down between her legs and started to rub her clit.

Sesshoumaru squeezed his eyes shut when he witnessed his wife reach down between her legs and play with herself. Combine that with her quaking walls squeezing his throbbing dick and he knew he wouldn't be able to hold back much longer. "Hurry, baby. I am going to cum."

Kagome didn't disappoint him. The dam broke shortly after and she clenched onto his forearms, digging nails into them, leaving angry red makes in their wake. Her body shook with a mixture of fire and ice. It blended together and made her see white. Her voice cried out. "Sesshoumaru!"

That was all he could take. He felt himself being milked of his essence. Cum mixed with her sexual juices, making an almost sloppy sound, but neither cared. After the wonderful feeling left, he fell forward onto her welcoming body and listened to her heart beat. He lazily smiled when Kagome's arms embraced him. God, he loved her.

With great reluctance, Sesshoumaru pulled back and laid to her right. He gazed upon her with a soft gaze. Noting a strand of onyx and silver hair stuck to her check, he raised his hand up and gently removed the sweat covered piece of hair out of the way. He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead, making her eyes close for a moment.

Kagome never felt happier then now. It was like her soul had been put back together. The tightness she felt earlier let up. She could breathe for the first time in two weeks. She couldn't help it. A large grin formed on her face and she pressed her body as close to his as humanly possible. "Don't do that to me again."

Sesshoumaru looked down at her dark eyes and gave her a sad smile. "I am so sorry for doing that to you. I didn't mean to hurt you, but you know there was nothing in my power to stop it."

Kagome felt herself start to cry again. Water blurred her vision and the weight in her chest was starting to come back.

She felt like she was suffocating.

Something was wrong with this moment. This was just too perfect, to right. But it had to be real! She could feel him and smell him. Touch him and hold him. Why was she starting to feel this giant gap in her chest? Why did this moment not feel like it did when he first laid down beside her? Panic started to come back and she clung more tightly to Sesshoumaru.

Her husband ran a soothing hand through her tangled locks, gently pulling out the knots. "Shhhh....Don't do this to yourself. I will always be with you. I will never leave. You have to understand that. Tell me you understand."

Kagome sobbed, but answered him. "Y-yes, I understand."

"You know that I love you, right?" He asked.

"Yes." She managed to say.

"Good. Now I want you to wake up." Sesshoumaru whispered.

"NO!" Kagome screamed. Just like that, her eyes opened wide. The light of the rising sun, just coming through the blinds.

A dream.

No. A nightmare.

Kagome stared at the ceiling, remembering that morning two weeks ago. The kiss he gave her and saying goodbye. Sesshoumaru wanted to get to the office early. They had a big meeting set up and he wanted to be more prepared for it. She had to take Rin to high school. He took his favorite car that morning. The little Porsche. They are nice cars to go driving in. Beautiful design.

Deadly when a semi hits it.

And just like that her loving husband is gone.

Never to come back.

She felt the brick on her chest come back. The tightening in her lungs. It hurt to breathe. Why does it hurt to breathe? Why did she have to have a dream like that? Why did her husband have to die?

Not being able to take it anymore, she took in a big shaky breath and screamed. The sound sad and hurt. It died down and turned into a sob. Why, God? Why couldn't she just die?

Rin busted in her Mom's room and watched as she curled up in a tight ball and sob on her bed. It made her brake down, too. She rushed over and hugged her tight. Both crying uncontrollably.

After a few minutes, Rin wiped her eyes and gazed down at her distraught face. "We will make it through this, Mom. It will be hard, but we will make it though this."

Kagome shifted her gaze to her little girl, not so little anymore, and gave her a watery chuckle. "I know we will. It is just so hard."

"I know, Mom. I know."

Fin.

I'm baaaaaacccck. LOL Sorry, but I just had to write it. I write it of the people that have loved and had it taken away from them in a brutal way. My dad died. I watched my Mom lose a piece of her. I used to want to have a love like my Mom and Dad did. Now I hope I never get married. A little more softer to what I normally do, but more of the darker side of Death. I hope you all liked it. Let me know!