Look At My Reflection by anonymousfangirl

One

Title: Look at My Reflection

Author: Anonymous Fangirl

Summary- One day while going to pay respects to the western lands lord, Kagome is horribly raped and left to bleed to death. However, when she is found by Sesshomaru, he can do no other than save her life. They've never met, he knew, but somehow he also knew something was amiss in his mind...

Rating: M. There is a nice little smut scene in this story. It happened to be my first. You all requested it, and I was banned from Fanfiction for it. However, I reposted once and I am reposting again.

Etc: Yup, I am Anonymous Fangirl. I am also Concrete Angel, Ellie Hill, Earth Preistess Eden, Selah's Lucky star, Pirate Maiden of doom, plushie brigette, and any oone else I decide to be.

Disclaimer: I am a fifteen year old girl whose most valuable possession is a laptop her father bought her, however indirectly it was. Thank you, Solomon, for never paying your child support. I made it real easy to convince mom to buy me my one true love when a huge check came.

Chapter One

It's cold at night, sometimes I forget to breath.

It's always coldest at night. When the darkness falls around you like a thick blanket dipped in ice water. Most nights the moon would at least provide some solace. But of course, on the darkest of nights for Kagome Higurashi, heir to the eastern lands, the moon was no where in sight. The night of the full moon had always been a cursed night. She had just choosen to ignore the curse. He stod up with a smug smirk on his face. Bastard. Kagome thought as he slowly dressed, taking deep pride in his actions. His pride made him slow, Kagome knew, but she always knew she didn't have the strength to strike out even when he was at his weakest.

It's lonely in the sun, sometimes I just need to be me.

"I hope you enjoyed that, little princess. It's just a taste of what's to come." The silver haired boy said as he laid a single kiss on her temple. Kagome tried not to flinch. She actually put an honest effort in to not moving a muscle. But from the widening of his self satified smirk, Kagome knew that her body had refused to obey her wishes.

"Silly girl. There's no need to flinch away from your mate. I won't let anyone harm you." The words unspoken quivered in the air as if the had been the gathering fog. No one can hurt you except me.

Mirror, you are the only one who really sees me.

I mustn't cry! I mustn;t cry! Kagome demanded herself to hold back the burning waters behind her eyes. She wondered momentarily what the point was. She had already lost her honor. As if only to voice her darkest worry, the boy spoke up. "Don't bother trying to return to the eastern lands. They won't accept you ever again. You've been shamed, princess. You are no better than a wild dog." His cruel smile spread in to one of self loathing. "I'll take care of you, though. You're mine now. Mate." His hair flowed behind him like a silver curtain as he left her bleeding to death on the ground. Mate? Kagome thought sarcastically. He would never uderstand the true nature of mates. He was a stray dog! A sinner! Judist! Rapist!

So look a me now, please, don't let me be.

As his footsteps died away in the distance, Kagome let down her defenses. The few tears she had managed to withhold finally seeped out as she soundlessly begged to die.

No! She demanded to herself. I've been raped, not shamed! Kagome stared at her feet. Get Up! She demanded of them, willing them to move. To lift her weight. To carry her to safety.

She didn't think she was asking all that much, really.

I don't want to be alone any more.

She finally forced herself up with obvious effort. Her brow was heavy with sweat and her hair clung to the tips of her eyelashes. She didn't bother to get it out of her eyes. That would require more energy.

Kagome looked down at her feet, and wasn't surprised when the world jumped up around her. She threw her hands to her sides in a vain attempt to balance herself out before she collapsed to her knees and emptied the remaining contents of her stomach. She lifted her eyes in blind rage and stared at her feet.

"Move forward NOW!" she hissed out each syllable with venom lacing her voice. Her foot twitched once, twice before it finally complied. Her steps only falter once as she stood, wiping the remaining vomit from her chin. No one would save her now. So she would have to do it herself.

Wash my tears right out the door.

She knew the only way to do that was to get away. She had to get away. She just had to!

Hold me close, my quiet reflection.

If only for a few minutes. That was all it would take for her to find an empty place for her to curl up and die in. Alone. All alone. She was all alone.

Whisper my name, ressurection.

As if the thought had just occurred to her, she lost focus for a moment. A moment was all it took for her to trip over a misplaced upturned root and cause her to fall.

She tasted copper on her lips. Was that from her biting her lip now, or had he caused it? She wasn't all that sure and didn't want to knw if it was the later of the two.

She forced her feet to work again. It was hell. Her stomch rolled in protest, and Kagome barely resisted the urge to scream as she felt a bone twist in the wrong direction from somewhere deep inside her gut. Ignore the pain. She demanded. Ignore it! She had to keep going. She wasn't all that sure as to where she had to keep walking too, but she did know that anywhere was better than here.

'Chorus

'Mirror Mirror

Look at me

See the person that I used to be

Hold me close

To your heart

Let us never be apart

Mirror Mirror

Dry my eyes

I think that I am running out of tears to cry'

Kagome felt darkness wiegh down on her, warm and thick. She knew she had a concussion, if nothing worse. But from the thick, hot blood that was flowing more heavily between her legs with each step she took, she knew that the chace of survival was dimming. Where was she? Somewhere in the western lands, obviously. Who was she? It didn't matter right now. Not when she was trying to pointedly ignore the stabbing on the inside of her stomach. She fingered it gently, tenatively, and had a a strong feeling that the sharp, pointed point that was bothering her so was none other than her own rib.

Sometimes when I am alone in my room

From somewhere behind her, Kagome heard the crash of underbrush. Startled like a young rabbit, Kagome jumped, only to release a cry of shear agony. Her rib had at last broken through the flesh of her stomach, but she ignored it as he feet took of on their own. She couldn't feel the pain anymore. No, but she could feel the soft moisture leaking out of her pores. Was she sweating blood? She would have looked down to see, but she seemed to have lost control of her body.

I refeel the darkness

I never thought it would happen to me Kagome thought, then chastised herself for her stupidity. She had never considered herself a beauty. Her hair was too thick, too curly, too deep in color. Her eyes were plain, and she was just a bit on the overwieght side. But she was still a princess. And for politcs, some people would do anything. But the son of the western lord? He had lead her to believe she was in safe company. OF course she hadn't recognized the look of hunger and longing in his eyes. She had never seen it before. But she couldn't understadnwhy she had felt it safe to be around Inuyasha. She had never met him before, and she had thought she had been aught better than that .

A searing pain shot through her state of numbness. Obviously not.

The lurking doom

Kagome finally collapsed. She had no idea if she had gone three steps or three miles in her semi concious mind. But she did know that she wasn't suppose to go to sleep. She wasn't suppose to shut her eyes...

Her eyes didn't seem to care.

It is then that I see the surface quiver

She had told them to stop crying. Though she could only feel the thick raindrops that had began to fall sometime during her flight. But she had a fairly strong feeling they were still tearing.

She knew that she ought to get up. She ought to run farther. She knew she wasn't safe yet, especially with her having no clothes on. Rape was the least of her worries now. It was raining. She could catch hypothermia. She could slip in to a coma, an animal could find her and she would be died without every having lifted a finger in her own defense.

I see it and it gives me a shiver

Warm water, cold water, red water. They all seemed to leak in to one solution as it dripped drop by slow drop past her eyelashes and into the shallowpools of er eye. She didn't need a mirror to know that they had glassed over in death already.

I reach out to touch the surface

Kagome tried to think of a spell she could use to hide her shame, for when someone found her. She was content with wrapping her arms over her chest in shame.

Normally my reflection would flatter

Kagome began to think of how she would die. Would she bleed to death, here, alone, in the dark? Would she get gangreen from the mud that was slipping in to her many wounds? Would she slip into a coma in the rain? Would Inuyasha find her again?

She sincerely hoped it wasn't the last.

But I reach out to touch it and

She tried to crawl a little ways, to the shelter beneath a wide branched red wood. She was surprised, however, when the ground around her shifted and sent her sprawling downhill. She rolled limply for a moment or two before she even tried to lift her head.

It suddenly shatters

She landed with a quiet thud at the base of the old red wood she had spotted before her little slip.

'Chorus'

She lay there, broken and admittadly defeated.

How can I live through

She began to cry again. Had she ever stopped? She wasn't all that sure.

One more day?

She didn't have the strength to walk on.

When all that I live for

So she crawled.

She crawled for what seemed decades, dragging on foot, then the other. Soon, though, she didn't have the strength for that either. With a mental sigh, as she didn't have the strength for a vocal one, she dropped to the floor of the forest and closed her eyes.

Is going away

She was nothing more than a collapsed heap of flesh and muscle and bone and blood on the soft ground of the soft moss floor.

'Chorus'

She was too tired to go anywhere.

Is all that I live for

She couldn't lift her eyelids

going to die

Let alone her arms.

Or am I going to stay

She couldn't move at all.

Forever to cry

It was like something was sitting on top of her.

'Chorus'

She couldn't go anywhere. And if she could, she would have probably still choosen to lie there in shame and wait for death to claim her.

Hold me now

She was too tired to do anythi ng but.

Mirror Mirror

She was completly drained for a change. Hojo would laugh if he saw her now. He had never thought she would run out of energy. But, then again, he would be too busy trying to kill Inuyasha to give her a second glance.

Don't let me down

It slowly stopped raining

Mirror Mirror

Kagome felt her final breaths come out in painful gasps

Wash me clean

She felt everything collapse around her in to nothingness. She knew that she was dying. Why else would the world seem so small? Why else would she feel such a sense of peace after war? Why else would she not know her own name.

Mirror Mirror

She begged for unconciousness, and was grateful when sleep finally overtook her. And blood loss took her life.

Mirror Mirror

Her soul slipped out of her body and stared in shock. She knew it had been bad, but this was worse than bad. She was beaten, bloody, and even if she had survived, she might have never laughed again. Not after this...

Mirror Mirror

Unlike the man who she was supposed to love and cherish forever. He laughed at her pain. He flourished in it.

Set me free.

And the man she was never supposed to know...

...felt her tears like jagged knives across his heart