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Love Antique by Cassandra Sisenta

Chapter One

He is here tonight.

I don't know what brought him here.

There wasn't anything to be discussed; everything that had been between the two of us is gone now.

We agreed we wouldn't see each other anymore. It hurt at first. I came to love him, you know.

He used to be an unreachable figure nothing and no one could ever touch.

It was all a matter of circumstance and chance that we met once in a party.

We exchanged a few words then we went on with our lives.

Then it seemed that Fate had us as its new playmates: we always ended up bumping into each other one way or another. It was a spontaneous decision to let Fate play its game: we agreed to meet again. One date progressed to more and the next thing I knew, there he was, his heart on his sleeve. Mine on his palm.

I am just about to forget you

Once there was summer of color crimson lake

All it took to confess was a word

All it took to express was a kiss

I took to the stage to begin the show.

As much as I wanted to hide backstage, I couldn't. Every artist knows that the show must go on no matter what.

The spotlight hit me as I took my position before the mike. I smiled at my audience who clapped for me. I bowed in thanks. I swept my gaze among them to have my eyes lock with a pair of unmistakable golden orbs.

Those were the golden eyes that seemed to penetrate into my soul.

I knew those eyes.

They wouldn't let me look away and I almost faltered at the flash of a voice and a kiss in my mind.

I remember him.

When love was young between us

I wasn't too proud to wait for carrousels

You whispered you would make me a day

Like no day had been in my life

I began to sing, aiming to forget his presence by drowning myself in my other love. But somehow, I just couldn't seem to ignore him this time.

I'm a different person when he is around. Usually, I'm headstrong and independent. I do things my way and I hate to be antagonized.

But when he's there, fixing me with this look that would have made other people freeze, he would easily turn me into a soft and gentle female.

In his arms, I couldn't help but surrender.

Not that I was losing my will or he dominates me, no, it just feels so good to be protected by someone so strong for once.

Everything just feels right when I'm with him.

You let me feel, I was turned on You had me feel, I was only one You made me feel, I was loved by the whole world

Those eyes, they wouldn't stray even when someone tries to talk to him. They were only on me.

From my distance, I couldn't read what those eyes wanted to say. Not that I could always read them before.

He had always been so impassive and so cold.

A lot of people are afraid of him, even his own colleagues with whom he had been in business with for years. Something about his expression and bearing just commanded to be feared or at the least respected. People experience fear and anxiety grip them when he stares so steadily, but for me it is different.

When he looks at me like that, I feel like the most loved person in the world.

I never said that I was in love

You never held me in your arms

Never made love, we never dared to

I never really had the chance to tell him how much I love him.

It's kind of strange isn't it? You have a relationship with someone and yet you haven't really expressed your love?

That is one difficult thing with him.

You just can't tell him everything because you know he himself has his secrets.

I'm a very open person.

I guess that's one reason why we broke it off.

We just weren't open enough and I couldn't take it.

It was me who took the first step.

I am just about to forget you

Once there was winter of color horizon blue

All I knew, you were there beside me

All I saw, our shadows on the path

"Kagome."

I whirled at the sound of his voice and there he was. He looked as dashing and as elegant as ever, dressed in his semi-formal best with his moon-white hair falling in loose waves down his back. His golden eyes were only on me and I couldn't deny the flutter I felt as he looked at me.

I tried to ignore his effect on me as I struggled to smile back with as much poise as I could muster. I whisper his name. "Sesshoumaru.

"What a surprise."

It was after my performance and I was in my dressing room backstage, getting ready to leave for the night. He just happened to have a backstage pass.

"You could have told me you were coming."

"I didn't want to become too predictable, Kagome."

He said my name once more, producing a bunch of long-stemmed red roses that he then handed out for me to take.

I accepted them almost hesitantly.

He seldom gave me flowers. They weren't his style.

Oh God, don't do this to me Sesshoumaru.

I'm trying to move on.

Stop being so unexpectedly sweet!

This is getting harder than it already is.

I love you so, still I know I do

I trust you so, yet I know I do

I want you so, true like ice, true like fire

We stood there looking at each other in awkward silence.

It was strange watching him like this. He was always so in control of the situation, he always knew what to think, what to say, what to do, but not at that moment.

As for me, I knew what I wanted to do.

I wanted to put the roses down and give him a kiss.

To kiss him and embrace him and tell him that I love him more than anything he could think of.

To melt his stoic face into a love-filled expression, to turn those ice-cold eyes into blazing amber as only I could.

But something held me back: pride and conviction.

I knew it just wouldn't work.

I had to let go.

To keep my mind sharp and bright

To keep my heart cold and tight

To keep my love alone and free

I shall leave.

"Sesshoumaru, thank you for the roses."

"It's nothing."

"Listen, I'm sorry for doing this but I have to go. I'm so tired..."

"My car is waiting outside."

I didn't miss the insistent tone in his voice that screamed "We need to talk." But for the first time in a long time, I declined. I couldn't listen to what he wanted to say.

"No, thank you Sesshoumaru. I have my own car waiting." I then proceeded to walk past him to the door. I couldn't face him anymore. I knew I hurt him.

He stood there in silence once more, his back to me. I thought I saw his straight and proud posture fall slightly but it was gone the moment I saw it. He then turned to face me. His usual bored and uncaring mask was on his face.

"Very well then. Goodnight, Kagome. I apologize if ever I bothered you."

His speech was so clipped and impersonal that I almost flinched.

He was as dignified as ever as he exited my dressing room, the dim lights making his long silver hair glisten.

He didn't even look at me as he went past.

I watched him go until he disappeared from my sight, his figure melding with the darkness.

He was gone and suddenly I felt empty.

I felt alone and cold.

I couldn't feel him.

He wasn't there anymore.

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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