Reviews for Deception by JosieKnox

Jenni- Fri 30 May 2008
Yeah, I get annoyed at fics when all of sudden it's forgiveness, though I would have like there to be reconsilation and getting them back together, your ending was more eralistiv ^_^

Jenni- Fri 30 May 2008
Yeah, I get annoyed at fics when all of sudden it's forgiveness, though I would have like there to be reconsilation and getting them back together, your ending was more eralistiv ^_^

julie- Sat 22 Mar 2008
i didnt realy like the story that
much i thought how fast she forgave certain ppl
was kind of annoying but it was a good story line and it was nice to see KAGOME turn down shessomaru for once

tir3dgurl- Sun 16 Mar 2008
go kagome!!! hell i wouldnt take back a man if he treated me like Sesshomaru did to Kagome; no matter how hot he is!!!!! but great fanfic!!! ^.^ :) ^_^ =)

Bittersweet- Sat 19 Jan 2008
i really did love this story and at times it made me cry. i liked it a lot

darkravenkb226- Sat 12 Jan 2008
That was really good. Thank you so much for not making her into a wuss. Whenever i read stories like this the auther lets her take him back in two seconds. It drives me insane. So good job. Also, i side with the people who would like a sequel. THat is completely up to you, but at least you know you would have a possitive audience if you ever decided too. Anyhow, keep up the good work.

rowdysgirl- Fri 11 Jan 2008
honestly, JK, i can't see a sequel to this story either. the way you ended it was kind of: 'they lived ever after.' and i agree with your decision. sess had hurt her too much for her to just jump into his arms and sing a happy tune. i felt that you left the door open for their continued healing and that someday they would, at least, be good friends. your kagome showed incredible generousity in letting sess into their lives, in giving him the chance to build something with his son, if at all possible. i really thought the ending was as happy as it could be at that point in time. in other words: it was real.

dragonphoenix87- Fri 11 Jan 2008
I just finished reading your story and I thought it had a good ending to it. At the beginning of your story, it reminded me of another story I read. It was in part difficult to understand some things that you were trying to say because of spelling and grammar errors. I suggest you try to find a beta to help you fix those errors in order to make the story comprehensible. Your story overall was good except for the errors as mentioned before, but I enjoyed it because it made me sad, cry and smile and the sweet moments. My favorite part, the part that had me grinning like a fool, was where Shippo really lets Sesshomaru have it. I hope you take my criticism constructively and not as a negative review.

-dragonphoenix87

AccidentalGoddess- Fri 11 Jan 2008
I have to say I agree with you about the sequal thing, I don't think it's set up well to take a part doux. However, if you did want to continue it to some extent, you could do a series of one shots (maybe not even a series) just to do kind of window glimpses into the future for this bunch. That could be interesting.

Mutnodjmet- Fri 11 Jan 2008
Very nice story. Will you ever consider writing a sequel to it? That would be so cool... *hugs and smiles*

Elli Mac08- Fri 11 Jan 2008
Well.. I thought your story was great very original. So I don't know what they're talking about, I have read worse..So Girl just do your thing and keep writing those creative and while thought out stories of yours. And don't pay no mind to stupid idiots who canapperiate originallity. Beside alot of other writer always make Sesshoumaru and kagome kiss up and make up or being back together . while, That was getting pretty old, but Im happy of how your story came out. But-_- I'm sad that it was only 13 chapter oh well.

Tanya131- Thu 10 Jan 2008
can you write a 2 version of this story please it's really good and i personally would like to know what happens next....please


~Tanya131~

Kohana- Thu 10 Jan 2008
Well I think you wrote a good story. I liked how you portrayed Kagome! I did not find her weak at all. She is actually one of the better Kagomes I have read. You made her into and independent woman that grew and took charge of her life! Anyone who says otherwise obviously can not read! I find you to be one of my favorite writers on here. Your ideas are creative and original and you take the characters and make them your own. Well done! I am just itching to read more of "The Quad." Everytime I read it it gives me chillz, its that HOTT! Thank-you for your wonderful stories, you are quite talanted!
~Kohana~

Lilith-sama- Thu 10 Jan 2008
Nasty reviews are so off-putting, aren't they? I hate them, but I hardly think it's fair to say "the 15 or 16 year-olds that go and change because of one whiny reviewer", for I am fifteen and I would care less if someone found my story crap (I'd probably react like you have, and rant until their ears fell off).

Onto the story. I highly enjoyed it, but there were some grammatical errors. It didn't put off the story, however, but there were little things needing correcting. The overall content was spectacular. People who dislike your work can just go cry in a corner. You took an understandable approach to their relationship. It isn't a, "Hey, haven't seen you in ten years! Want to proclaim your love for me and then go have hot monkey sex in a closet?"

Shippou was the best character, for me. The angsty little kid who absolutely loathes his father. Thank you for not having him changing instantaneously. I hate fics like that.

Overall, good work. With a few grammatical tweakings, you have a completely polished story from a good idea to good characters! Huzzah to you, who can actually write!

Lillith-sama

Taiyoukai's Lady- Thu 10 Jan 2008
I honestly have to say great job, and I am really sorry about the review. I find it really upsetting that people who dont even post stories can trash those of others.

In all honesty if you dont like something then just stop reading it. You probably do it everyday when something comes on Tv that you dont want to watch.

People honestly shouldnt go around blasting each other off because of the way that the story is going. Yes we expect it to flow a certain way, but in all honesty I like what you have done here. Its the twist and turns that make the story unique.

Its a breath of fresh air, this comming from a hopless romantic. I love the stories where guy does something stupid and works hard to make it up to his girl, and they all live happily ever after.

However you have taken that same situation and made it your own, which is what being a writer is all about. Great Job!!!

I loved it and I will continue to look for more great stuff from you. Dont let something like a review from someone that you will probably never meet force you away from doing something that you love. It happens all too often with the really great writters.

Great job!!

Taiyoukai's Lady


lizz- Thu 10 Jan 2008
this was a great story that i enjoyed reading. the story line was not to predictable and the characters kept there own personalities through each event yet changed to work with the events. this is very hard to do and you did it so well that it appeared natural. as i said i enjoyed this story so much that every day i came onto the net i would seek out this story to see if there was an update. thank you for a great story and hope to read great stories like this in the future.

rowdysgirl- Thu 10 Jan 2008
why on earth would you let one silly review upset you so. while i haven't read the review, and probably won't, i suspect from your remarks that the reviewer was just a silly person who doesn't understand what constructive criticism is. do you really want to waste your time on sillies?

i like the way you ended it. it's going to take him years to mend his fences with her. when you do someone that way, they aren't going to jump back into your life in a hurry. very real, that ending.

you write a good story, however, there were quite a few grammar errors as well as typos. i think you need a beta to handle the technical side. it's better to have someone else proof your work because you are more like to see what you expect to see. But you've got the hard part well in hand, you write a good story. I'll enjoy reading this over and over and...

Nikki- Thu 10 Jan 2008
First I would like to say i really like what you have writen. I was not confused with the story at all and thought it was nicely planed out. I don't know where the person got that from. I do feel the end was a little rushed but I know having more than one story going at one time can be hell. Don't let people bother you when they want to be a dick. They are just down on them selves and want to bring you down with them. Don't let them do it. Write from the heart and fuck everyone else. This is for you and you are just being kind enough to share it with us plain and simple. I also can't wait to see what you do with the quad.

anonymous- Thu 10 Jan 2008
Please update soon. Can't wait for the next chapter.

JosieKnox- Wed 09 Jan 2008
okay it's me and in response to the review below, did you even read it. having sex does not mean they got back together, in fact twice in the chapter while i
didn't come out and say no we are not a couple, you would have had to be pretty dim not to see that they're status was still unresolved, she flat out said I
DONT KNOW IF I CAN BE WITH YOU, did you miss that one. and frankly if you're going to come here bitching about my story I don't want or see you as a reader so
stay the fuck away. i have no problems with people that want to come here and give me advice, but if you're coming here as a bitch then go bug someone else.
and frankly i don't care what you think if you can put a real name you're supposed to stand behind what you say not hide behind a fake name.

youkai lady- Wed 09 Jan 2008
What. A. Disappointment. All the pain Sess put Kag through and he finds out the truth and what does Kag do? Takes him back like nothing happened. B.S! You made Kag into a complete idiot! What happened to the Kag who don't take shit from anyone?
I had hoped your fic would improve, but I was sadly mistaken. That's the last time I read this. Bye for good!

Anonymous- Fri 09 Nov 2007
Oh ho, someone's going to get it.

Please update ASAP. Wish this thing had an alert like ff.net and mm.org. Oh well.

Boy she will have alot of people to deal with, from Kagome to Seeshomaru and the family. Along with the police.

Will Kanna make it or not? Either way, she just lost her ace over Sesshomaru.

Will Sesshomaru sense something was wrong with Kanna or not? If he did, how long it will take him to get there? (Figure that he had bonded with Kanna unlike his twins, he would sense her. Got that idea from a friend.)

Please update ASAP

Dark_Twinkle- Sun 28 Oct 2007
OMG - plz update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

erochan- Sun 28 Oct 2007
OH NOES!!!!!!!!1 That's terrible what happened to kanna!!! You HAVE to update soooooon! -sob- When you update, could you perhaps, send me a message? please and thankyou!

Arielle langley- Sat 27 Oct 2007
Oh my god. This is so good! give me give me more! Please keep up the excellent wrk! U got me hooked here. N p.s. I dont think sesshomaru is o.o.c.im lovin it.

elizabeth e hogan- Sat 27 Oct 2007
please now update again soon thing looks like they going from bad to worse

marquisha- Sat 27 Oct 2007
please please update the story soon i wonder what sesshoumaru will do when he finds out i hope kanna doesn't die please update this story is getting really good

Nikki- Sat 27 Oct 2007
No you can't leave it like that. no no no. OMG I can't wiat for the next chapter. Your story is soooo good. I really like what you have done with it. I hope you update soon.

Sesshy's rose- Sat 27 Oct 2007
OMFG!!!!!!!! I NEVER expected this...OMFG...it takes a LOT to surprise me when it comes to a fanfiction...wow...I'm so shocked right now...I feel so bad for Kagome...I hope Sesshoumaru doesn't get mad at her for Kanna being SHOT BY HER OWN MOTHER! Idk...wow...what a twist...I applaud the fact that you actually surprised me! keep up the great work!

al- Fri 26 Oct 2007
I'll live.
Write when time permits.
I've read this story a few times,and it's pretty good.
Take care and good luck.

Noacat- Wed 24 Oct 2007
This line kind of confused me: "Aunt Kikyo and Uncle Inuyasha, they've always been there for her; but are you really going to abandon your mother to spite me?""

I think the first part is supposed to be Shippou's line and the last part was Sesshoumaru's but it got all bollixed. (It happens when you write all the time! My fingers go too fast sometimes!!) But I thought I'd point it out because it's just good form to give a heads up on these things. (Nothing I hate worse than when I make a boo-boo and confuse my readers, I'm sure you feel the same.)

And this part right here: " I have forgone this trip simply because I do not like to be in the presence of so many exasperating people, first they're indifferent, and then mournful, next they're contrite. It’s exhausting; you have a flock of people that follow you around at you every beck and call. It'd be comical if it weren't so disgusting. You father," the word was dripping in sarcasm. "Are not worth my time."

I LOVE it. Excellent line. Especially the "it'd be comical if it weren't so disgusting." Just a wonderfully cold line -- I'm jealous I didn't write it myself it was so good.

Keep up the excellent work. I really love both your stories, and I can't wait to see what you have in store next. Good luck and happy writing!

yamiyo tenshi- Mon 22 Oct 2007
OMFG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I absolutely love this story mines there are youkai in it, it so so real. You actually got me tearing up to the point of crying. this is like the 3rd fic to ever to that. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(puppy dog eyes & whining) PLEEEEAAAAASSSSSSEEEEEEEE

captaintori88- Mon 22 Oct 2007
Your story is so interesting I can't wait for you to update.

Dark_topaz- Mon 22 Oct 2007
I love this can't wait for more this is the best verison of this kind of plot I have seen

tif- Thu 18 Oct 2007
ow.. poor kags...

v1cky84- Wed 17 Oct 2007
How sad...I hope Kagome gives Sesshoumaru a hard time. Please update soon.

REDWOLF- Wed 17 Oct 2007
Im not sure how your're gonna get Sess and Kagome back together but I want you to know this is one of the best fics out there and I look forward to every fantastic chapter!

Arielle langley- Wed 17 Oct 2007
K um i love this story please do keep up the good work!

Faye- Wed 17 Oct 2007
aww man, short chapter! Can't wait to see how this progresses

shiori_baka- Tue 16 Oct 2007
please up date soon and can u please make the chapters longer!! thatnk you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bloodyhellsangel- Sun 14 Oct 2007
wow this is really good. update fast please

sweetkijo- Tue 09 Oct 2007
oh, gosh, you cant leave it there!! Whats the explanation..oooh Sessh has even pissed me off in this story! I hope you make him gravel. Lol. Read ya soon!

blackmoon- Tue 09 Oct 2007
I LOVE this story its so totally sweet
PLEASE update soon.i cant wait
for the next part.

sesshysbabygurl- Tue 09 Oct 2007
plz update soon. love this fic. sad that shiori died but its still a good story. so far.

Mutnodjmett a.k.a judzea- Tue 09 Oct 2007
Oh my, you have got to update soon. I'm hanging in limbo here with the ending of this last chapter. Nice cliffhanger. The interaction between Shippo and Kan'na was really poignant.

Nicely done as usual.
*hugs and smiles*

tif- Tue 09 Oct 2007
oww so nice pls... update soon it was so mean to stop there!!!

Anonymous- Tue 09 Oct 2007
Please update ASAP

Arielle langley- Tue 09 Oct 2007
Oh my gosh what can i say that was so good! Please do continue the story love it!

elizabeth e hogan- Mon 08 Oct 2007
please write the next chapter soon because the shit just hit fan come on with it

marquishawright- Mon 08 Oct 2007
i hope u udpate soon i wonder what will happen that was dramtic i wonder what kagome was doing while she was out so please update

marquishawright- Mon 08 Oct 2007
i hope u udpate soon i wonder what will happen that was dramtic i wonder what kagome was doing while she was out so please update

marquishawright- Mon 08 Oct 2007
i hope u udpate soon i wonder what will happen that was dramtic i wonder what kagome was doing while she was out so please update

Noacat- Mon 08 Oct 2007
ZOMG! YOU HAVE TO UPDATE SOON! *falls off the edge of her seat* The suspense... it's too much to bear.

*whispers* Also, you misspelled angel twice in this last chapter. Just thought you'd like to know.

Mutnodjmett a.k.a judzea- Thu 27 Sep 2007
Hmm...just me and it maybe some what cliche' but, I think it would have been more interesting if you hadn't of killed of Kag's daughter and made Kanna not really Sess' daughter since we all know that Tsubaki is a sneaky evil bitch.
*evil grin* Also, this disease that killed Shiori...why did it not kill Yasha...need details on this disease. Anyway, this is your story and I like it...(maybe she really isn't dead...just a trap to get Sess there to save her) *giggles* just hoping.

Great job :-)
*hugs and smiles*

kags- Wed 26 Sep 2007
this story is awsome, i got hooked wen i read the first chapter please update soon!!!

REDWOLF- Wed 26 Sep 2007
Kagome is just so nice, I think she is to nice! I would have punched the hell out of Sess and his girlfriend! Great story!

elizabeth e hogan- Fri 21 Sep 2007
please keep the chapters going can't for what happens next and i hope that the women thats with sess'y gets what coming to her and are sesshomaru &kagome geting back together i hope so (^_^)

Anonymous- Fri 21 Sep 2007
That's depressing.

Poor Shippo, he found another sister, but lost his other one, who happens to be his twin.

How does Kanna and Shippo feel about being brother sister?

Because of Kanna's mother, his mother, him, and his sister couldn't be together. (At least I think it's because of Kanna's mother. Sorry things are a bit fuzzy, need sleep.)

Poor Kagome, she must feel guilty for not being there with her daughter.

How will the Inu family gain Kagome and Shippo's respect and trust of them.

What about Kanna's mother, how will she react to Kanna's new look?

What will she do, now that Kagome is back in Sesshomaru's life?

I hope it will take Sesshoamru and his father while for Kagome and Shippo to trust or anything from them.

Please update ASAP.
Can't wait to see what happens next.

tif- Fri 21 Sep 2007
isnt it a little to extreme to kill off shori???? its not fair!!!!!!!!!!!! its so cruel!!!!!!!

Tensaiga- Fri 21 Sep 2007
omg 3! this is an awesome story!!! i would love it if you'd post it on my site!!

www.justexpessing.com

alatera- Thu 20 Sep 2007
Well I didn't expect him to not have a chance to save Shiori. Thats not good. If she has an out clause there is no reason for her to stay, and Shippo I doubt will let Sesshomaru get near him. I cannot see anything getting solved since apparently unless he hears Tsubaki's admittance of her lies( overhearing a private conversation ). Still I can't see anything getting solved . Apparently he can't save anything.. Till next chapter...

marquishawright- Thu 20 Sep 2007
i hope update the story soon i can't wait to see what will heappen did kagome daughter really die i hoe u udate the story soon please please please update

marquishawright- Thu 20 Sep 2007
i hope update the story soon i can't wait to see what will heappen did kagome daughter really die i hoe u udate the story soon please please please update

shon_7- Thu 20 Sep 2007
I almost near-tears when I read this. Very good work. Please update soon.

Dh7- Thu 20 Sep 2007
T_T Why did you do that I am near tears, already I liked Kags daughter. Even though I'm a lover of sesskag I want to see Sess BURN... >_>

Anonymous- Fri 14 Sep 2007
How will they react when they find out about the other child? hehe.

At least Kagome has one person other then Inuyasha on her side.

Please update ASAP

jasmine- Tue 11 Sep 2007
please write more

anonnie mouse- Mon 10 Sep 2007
GO IZIIE!!!!! SHOW SESS AND INU HOW LOW THEY REALLY WENT!!!!!!

and please in the end MAKE THEM BEG!!!!!!! REALLY REALLY REEEEAAAALLLLLYYYY BEEEEEEGGGGGG!!!!!!
though.....with those icicles stuck up their asses I guess they can't bend down to beg too much......so......maybe lying on the floor and begging would be best.

KILL THE BITCH!!!(the one who started it all....Kanna's mother)

I'm sure in the end when Inu and Sess have been humbled by their betters(basically everybody but Kags pseudo{fake}-friends) that Kag will eventually take Sess back and raise Kanna as her own.


PLEASE DON"T KILL SHORI OFF!!!!! PLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!
oh and LET IZAYOI HAVE AT THOSE STUPID LYING DOGS!!!!!

Mutnodjmett a.k.a judzea- Mon 10 Sep 2007
Nice story. Update soon.

Inuashley- Mon 10 Sep 2007
Hurry up and let Sesshy find out they lied to him already.

marquishawright- Mon 10 Sep 2007
i hope u update soon the last chapter have me hangging out of my seat please, please, please update the story soon i begging u this is one of the best stories so far in my story list

marquishawright- Mon 10 Sep 2007
i hope u update soon the last chapter have me hangging out of my seat please, please, please update the story soon i begging u this is one of the best stories so far in my story list

marquishawright- Mon 10 Sep 2007
i hope u update soon the last chapter have me hangging out of my seat please, please, please update the story soon i begging u this is one of the best stories so far in my story list

anonnie mouse- Wed 05 Sep 2007
soooo....if Shippo decked Inuyasha does that mean he'll punch Sess in the crotch????

I can't believe her friends didn't believe her.....I guess they weren't really her friends.

PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!!!!
and PLEASE DON"T KILL SHORI OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

elizabeth e hogan- Tue 04 Sep 2007
great story keep up the great work and please update soon can't wait for the next chapters to come

marquishawright@yahoo.com- Tue 04 Sep 2007
i wonder what is going to happen will fluffy find out about his children soon or what and what is wrong with the little girl and did sango and all the others really tell fluffy dat can u pleaze update the story is getting really good

sexylittlemommyk- Wed 08 Aug 2007
yo have to update soon it's really gettin good

tif- Tue 07 Aug 2007
owwww................. goooooo kagome gooo shippo... is the reason why sesh is stil with the slut is because he wants to punish himself? owww pls... update soonnnpls..

Aurora Potter- Tue 07 Aug 2007
Love your story sofar.....keep up the goodwork!!

toni- Wed 01 Aug 2007
oh! i smell trouble brewing

alaine- Wed 01 Aug 2007
i hope sesshoumaru and everyone else suffers after they know the real truth and i hope that kagome would never forgive them so easy hope you update soon

tif- Wed 01 Aug 2007
hahaha make sure to make sess n everyone else who hurt kasg suffer bigtime oki... n maybe you can change that part that their is a band name taishou itsss um wierd doesnt go well with your 1st chapter..... ummm n having shippo as the heir hahahahha verygood gooo shippsss i hope he hates everyone who hurt his mom especially sessh n his family wahahahahahhaha

Koroleva- Wed 01 Aug 2007
i like this is really good!! i want to see what sess has to say to having twins!!

royalbk- Wed 01 Aug 2007
Okay...let me just say this. The storyline is not bad. It actually has potential! The second part of the second chapter though should be completely deleted and rewritten. There are several things off with it. Sorry that I have to be the one to say this to you, but Kagome having Shiori and Shippou as her children is way too wrong for almost anyone to consider.

First, because neither resemble her or Sesshoumaru at all! Shippou with his green eyes and orange hair, Shiori with her violet eyes and hair and dark skin don't in any way resemble Kagome with her black hair and blue eyes or Sesshoumaru with his silver hair and golden eyes. (ugh...too many adjectives in one sentence. But I really have to make my point so...I guess it goes in the end. *wriggles nose*)

Second, because they would have to be twins to be born at the same time (without Kagome suddenly conjuring the second child and stamping him as Sesshoumaru's) and, again, first point comes and makes itself clear. Shippou and Shiori do not look like twins! Not one bit. One can not be a hanyou and the other a youkai and still be twins.

With the risk of being not at all original, I suggest you either make it one child - Rin - and have Kagome adopt Shippou or invent them. You get my point.

It's really imperative if you want to make a good story (God knows that we all make mistakes sometime). Don't make the plot line irrational - it doesn't help you with most readers.

Also, speaking of irrational, please try not to jump too much over it. I can't tell you what to write but it would've been better had you written an airport scene depicting Kikyou seeing Kagome off, both girls crying and feeling sorry for the separation, Kagome feeling sad because she has to leave behind her friends - even if they aren't close anymore - and her mother maybe (is she even alive in this story? She hasn't been mentioned once). Etc, etc, etc...think about, to get to know what Kagome is going through, what you would feel if you left your family and friends behind...and the love of your life too. Wouldn't that make you feel depressed and sad and angry? Homesick even before boarding on the plane? Just think about it!

And, errr, one last point. You said that Sesshoumaru was next to follow in his father's footsteps. In the business world! Then you suddenly change your mind and mention something about the Taisho band. Music? *raises eyebrow* It doesn't mix with the rigid, high-class business world. Even if you're feeling like a rebel or anything. Inu no Taisho would've never allowed his sons to disgrace him in this manner after paying them their colleges and preparing them to be businessmen. Thinking about it, it's really too unrealistic.

But - let me underline it ten thousand times - I'm only referring to the second part of the second chapter. The first one I like - I'm a drama girl *cough* bit too dramatic sometimes *cough* - and I like Kagome's reasons for leaving too. For those, you get a golden, shiny star from me! The second part - which was written in too much of a hurry and should've taken more time to show Kagome's life - you really need to work on more. Take your time with it. Don't rush everything in two sentences. Be creative and write more about Kagome's life after-Sesshoumaru *snickers*

Really...if I say that this isn't a flame, will you believe me or am I just wasting my breath? This is not a flame - people tend to think that just because I really want to help, I'm criticizing their stories into cinders and ashes. No flames. Nope. Not from me.

If you wish to change that part I told you about, I'll read and review. If not, well then this is your choice and I won't say anything about it. *shrugs*

Happy inspiration anyway!

Seryu- Wed 01 Aug 2007
Great story! Cannot wait for next chapter. Make Sess, his father as her so-called back stabbing friends suffer.
P.S. Give her a hot boyfriend, and have the children not want anything to do with him. That will teach him!

lindsey- Wed 01 Aug 2007
hey i really like your story!!!! it is most definitely one of my faves. please hurry and write the rest!!!!
liz

tif- Wed 01 Aug 2007
oww poor kags pls.. update soon pls... thanks... bad seshh you'll regret it i hope he suffers....

MoonGoddess- Tue 31 Jul 2007
I like the start you have. With what you have I think you now can go in any direction. Can't wait to find out what happens next!

Flower- Tue 31 Jul 2007
Awesome story! Can't wait for next chapter.
=)

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