SESSHOUNARULOVER- Mon 25 Jun 2007
I LOVE THIS FIC IT HAS ALOT OF ACTION IN IT

Riiko Tenjo- Mon 05 Feb 2007
srry people i rewrote it !! i redone it so its not so blahhhhhhhhhhh! Okay


/\_/\
( 0 0 ) Meow! looky im a neko!

asmopi- Tue 30 Jan 2007
i liked make it longer

Sicilia- Sun 28 Jan 2007
Update soon this sounds like a very interesting story hehehhe

dark anbu- Sun 21 Jan 2007
umm...not to be rude, this is a good fanfic..but its a bit rushed with them falling in love at the beggining...^^' heh heh sry but keep writting plez^^

Lita- Fri 19 Jan 2007
i dont mean to be rude,but i couldnt feel anything from the story,i felt that it wasnt sesshoumaru there but a shell looking like him,i couldnt get anything from the story at all,so if you would be so kind as to work on that?

Silk_worm- Fri 19 Jan 2007
Hi-
This is NOT a FLAME but just friendly advice.........

I like the plot of your story but it gets kind of confusing because you don't have your story in paragraphs so it's hard to understand who's saying what. It's kind of hard to comprehend to a reader that Sesshomaru and kagome would 'get together' so easily and quickly too...

It might be a good idea if you made your chapters a bit longer. Other than that I wish you good luck!

--Silk_worm

HOLYINUGIRL- Thu 18 Jan 2007
DONT GET ME WRONG I LIKE IT BUT UR MAKING THERE LOVE BLOOM TO FAST IT KINDA MAKES ME NOT WANT TO READ IT.

zenfluence- Thu 18 Jan 2007
Beware, this is advice, not a flame!

Well, I like the plot(personally), but you need to separate everything like speaking parts. You can't just limp it all together, its not an essay. Also, keep spaces between the separated parts like:
"Why can't I have cheese?" asked Kagome.

"Because I Said so." replied Miroku.

~zen

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