Mutnodjmet- Fri 02 Nov 2007
Interesting storyline and plot. Nicely thought out and written with the exceptions of a few grammar errors.
I liked it and will be looking for more updates as they become available.

Excelent job! *hugs and smiles*

Someone- Fri 02 Nov 2007
I really appreciate how well thought out and researched this chapter was. That's all I have to say about that.

Katie33h- Thu 01 Nov 2007
this was the best charactorization of sessmom EVER! you always read of her and being a pampered type (if not dead) but this .. this was really good. Very refreshing. I really enjoyed it. The only thing i can say .. and this goes for all the chapters is that you need to double space between paragraphs /// it makes it hard to read. Other than that great job!

snowbird- Mon 15 Oct 2007
Are you going to come back to this story or have you abandoned it? Please let us know something. Also, I have a question as to why chapter 2 was repeated as chapter 6. This story deserves to be told and you are a good storyteller. Don't give up on it.

snowbird- Sat 01 Sep 2007
I like the unique plot involving an older Rin and a stronger, wiser Kagome. Also, his mother's in the story. I have a feeling her and Kagome will clash. This story is different from the usual repetitive plots. Also, please people, not everyone is an English teacher. I, personally, don't find that many mistakes in comparison to some I've read. If you want perfection, print out the story and make any corrections as you read. It might be that your complaining has scared away further updates! Please, dear author, favor us with more chapters. I anxiously await.

K,T,M- Tue 07 Aug 2007
please update soon

DarkAngel495- Tue 01 May 2007
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I N T E R E S T I N G ! ! U P D A T E

S O O N ! ! I L o V e i T ! ! T h a N k s

^^

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chaos-and-Serenity- Fri 22 Dec 2006
I'm such a retard. I didn't even know this story had been updated! Mailing list please?

The suspense is really building and I'm so excited to see what your imagination will bring us.

Nitpicking time - please bear with me! The grammar was perfect with the exception of a few quotations, which was weird because at least half of them were correct. Sometimes I think the server is responsible. I had a few words in a paragraph mysteriously disappear once after I uploaded. Example:

“Do not fail me in this” Xue Fang warned dangerously.

Should be: "Do not fail me in this," Xue Fang warned dangerously.

“Yes Gobodou-sama”.

Should be: "Yes, Gobodou-sama."

There was actually a big controversy over this in a fan guild and people whipped out the grammar books. Punctuation goes inside the quotation marks and a comma is needed when you add things like *he said*.

Again, that's easy crap to fix. Your sentence structure is great and the narrative flows well. Most importantly, though, to any story is the story itself, and trust me when I say that nothing is lacking there. Your improvement has already shown and I have no doubts that soon enough you're gonna blow my mind!

Do I sound motherly to you right about now. Okay, time to shut my trap. I'm lovin' it more than Mickey D's and I can't wait for an update!

kat- Wed 29 Nov 2006
okay cause you've got me curious what langauage are rin's captors speaking? is it mongolian? or chinese? or russian? or maybe korean? those are the closest areas to japan and i'm trying to figure it out but so far i'm pretty clueless the second chapter had me guessing russian with the letters you used but now i'm confused...

update soon i do like this story and the quotes at the beginning are great

swasdiva- Wed 15 Nov 2006
Great second chapter. Definitely lived up to the promise of the preface. Can't wait to read more.

Raven88- Wed 15 Nov 2006
More Chapters please??

Chaos-and-Serenity- Wed 15 Nov 2006
The first chapter made me very hestitant to read the second, but I'm glad I got over my hesitation. This story has some amazing potential. I love a good, smart war story and so I'm really excited about where you'll take this fic. There are so many opportunities!

On a critical note, there a few grammar issues, but they struck me as easily rectified mistakes. Many sentences were missing vital comas and oftentimes the apostrophe was left out when the possessive was used. Also, punctuation is placed inside the quotations marks in dialogue. Examples:

“Rin, listen to me! You will stay here and that’s final!” the tone of Kagome’s voice changing to one of authority “does not leave the barrier until they are all dead”.

Corrected: "Rin, listen to me! You will stay here and that's final! Do not leave the barrier until they are all dead," Kagome said authoritatively.

Defying her miko powers will to heal the injuries she had sustained she used the last of her energy to send a wave of power to the only one that could save the girl now.

Corrected: Defying her miko power's will to heal the injuries she had just sustained, she used the last of her energy to send a wave of power to the only one that could save the girl now.

There were a lot of sentrences like the one above. The coma after sustained is vital. You can literally feel the pause in the sentence.

However, I think these offences are relatively minor and easy to fix. I love the shape your story is taking and I think the narrative is fantastic. Please remember that people usually only offer constructive criticism to stories they view as having incredible potential.

Thanks for sharing with us!

kitsune_bot- Wed 15 Nov 2006
Wow, I like how this is starting. It's a very rare setting and story and I'm excited to see wgere it will go. Which language are the attackers using. I thought it was Russian at first but Russian lacks the oomlaught(sp?) i's. Perhaps Slavic?

Noacat- Wed 15 Nov 2006
WOW. The first chapter made me not so sure I ought to read this. I hesitated but ultimately succumbed to my own curiousity. Good thing I did. I would have missed this.

Excellent story. I can't wait for more!!

Serena- Wed 15 Nov 2006
Beautifully writting, I really like this story, please update soon!

nostalgic-maiden- Tue 14 Nov 2006
aww that's so sad. i love your story, it's so cooooooolll!!!!!! please continue to update =)

Yue- Tue 14 Nov 2006
wow. this is not bad. its a good begining and i'm definitely curious about what the story is. The only thing about this is that it'sshort and doesn't give much info. Ihope to read more soon.

Shiori- Mon 13 Nov 2006
wow this fanfic is soooo awesome!! lol it was funny cuz for a sec i thought someone stole our idea, then i saw the authors name and was like COOOL

Tanya131- Mon 13 Nov 2006
I LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS STORY CAN YOU WRITE MORE

INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
No money is being made from the creation or viewing of content on this site, which is strictly for personal, non-commercial use, in accordance with the copyright.