Unspoiled by forthright
All the King's Men
Disclaimer: I do hereby disclaim all rights and responsibilities for the characters in this gentle progression... especially for the one with choices opening up before her. A nod of recognition is bent towards Rumiko Takahashi for her creative prowess.
All the King’s Men
Hisoka watched Kagome carefully over the next few days. She was unusually quiet—not particularly distressed, not particularly sad, not particularly angry. Emotions simmered under the surface, yet it was difficult to discern their meaning. When someone feels strongly, pinpointing that feeling is simple; however, I do not think she even knows what to feel. To be honest, he was proud of her for not falling to pieces, but he was worried that she was falling into apathy. I had to haul his lordship out of that mire. You are not allowed to wallow there, too!
Making a brief foray into the kitchen, he appropriated an orange and tucked it into his sleeve. Then, he sought out the young woman, inquiring, “May I beg an audience?”
Higurashi regarded him with a trace of weariness before replying, “Of course, Hisoka-sensei.”
“Walk with me?” he invited. He knew for a fact that she was getting enough rest, but he worried over the way she picked at her food.
“Okay,” she agreed with a sweet smile that didn’t fool him one bit.
He led the way outside, knowing she hadn’t stepped over the threshold since her return. As she squinted at the bright summer day, he casually remarked, “You used to bask in the sun right along with Ah-Un. You will grow pale if you do not spend more time out-of-doors.”
Taking her arm, he led Kagome out across the shrine’s courtyard; heat shimmered off the pavement, and cicadas sang. Hisoka bypassed the tree where she first met Inuyasha... and the well house that marked the place Sesshoumaru first laid eyes on her. So many life-changing meetings, all within view of her front door. With a rueful smile, he guided her towards the shrine, nodding politely to the people whose paths they crossed. Up the steps, around the side, and into the shade of a wide porch that boasted nothing more interesting than a view of a storehouse. Whether she remembered it or not, this was the spot where she first met him... roughly two months before he sent her into Sesshoumaru’s childhood.
Hisoka cast a sidelong glance at the young woman at his side. Even though he didn’t expect her to wear kimono in this day and age, she still seemed out of place in modern apparel. The alteration in wardrobe did nothing to diminish her beauty, but he couldn’t help wondering if she felt as uncomfortable in her old clothes as she looked. She will adjust. She simply needs more time.
Claiming a seat against the wall, he gestured for her to join him, and she tucked her skirt around her legs and sat a short distance away. He huffed softly, then pointedly shifted closer. As strong as Hisoka believed her to be, Higurashi shouldn’t have to come to terms with the consequences of her decision alone. Directly and indirectly, I brought her to this point; I will not abandon her now.
Some things couldn’t be addressed until she initiated the discussion, but he was well within his rights to broach other topics. Arranging his thoughts with care, the neko-youkai bluntly announced, “I sealed the portal right after you came through.”
She started, then asked, “Why?”
“Because when Inuyasha tried to follow you, the Well did not work.”
“Because you sealed it now... in this era.”
“Yes.”
“What if you hadn’t?” she asked quietly.
He frowned, then replied, “Then things would be different.”
“So... I could still go back?” Kagome pressed.
There was an uneasiness in her posture, and he automatically lapsed into low, soothing tones. “Hypothetically speaking, you could, but you did not. I would remember if you had, Cricket.” To his relief, she accepted his assertion with a single nod. From his sleeve, he withdrew the fruit and began to strip away its peel. “Do not grieve for the past, for it paved the way for the future in which you find yourself.”
“I know,” she murmured. “It’s just that I didn’t know I was making such a big decision.”
With deft movements, he extracted an orange section and offered it to her. “If you had known these consequences, would your reasons for leaving have changed?
She accepted the fruit and nibbled at it. Finally, she shook her head. “I might have put it off a little longer. I would have liked to say goodbye properly.”
“I understand.” Hisoka passed her another section of fruit, watching to be sure she took a bite before asking, “May I say some things to you?”
“It’s too late for hindsight, isn’t it?” she asked bitterly.
“Perhaps,” he acknowledged. “But I can offer some peace of mind?”
“That might be nice.”
Another orange segment found its way into her hand, and then he said, “In a compromise, those involved give up something they care about in order to gain something of importance. Your sacrifice was not without its reward, Cricket.”
“Reward?” she echoed curiously.
“Do you remember the reason you gave me for wanting to leap forward to this time?”
“Of course.”
He passed another piece of fruit and urged, “You need to eat more.”
Higurashi blinked at him, then asked, “Are you changing the subject.”
“I am.”
“Why?”
With a faint smile, he said, “As a diplomat, there are certain secrets I have promised to keep.”
“But... something important happened because I left?”
“I can safely say that in leaving, you made your choice, and the others made theirs accordingly.”
“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”
“Hnn,” he mused, popping an orange segment into his own mouth as he considered. “I cannot say for certain what is better or even what is best.”
“I thought you would be the one to tell me what to do.”
He shook his head. “It would be foolish of me to meddle any more than I have.”
“So, I’m on my own now?”
“Not at all.” He smiled and gave her more fruit. “You have many friends, but we can only share your future, not choose it.”
She puzzled over that, then asked, “Isn’t there some advice you can give me, Hisoka-sensei?”
“Certainly,” he acquiesced. After a moment’s thought he said, “Please, do not choose regret as your companion for the years that lie ahead.”
■▪■▪■▪■▪■
Daily life fell into a sort of rhythm, and time slipped by in a semblance of normalcy. Kagome spent her days close to her family and her nights close to her packmates, inexpressibly grateful that she’d returned to a future that allowed for both. The more she worked alongside Meijin-dono and Donguri-san, the less she thought about returning to the past. If I go back, all of this would change. She didn’t want to lose a world in which her family and her friends could peacefully coexist. This is something I can protect... just by staying.
At first, she was relieved that neither Hisoka nor Shippo brought up the specific circumstances surrounding her choice. They gave her time and space, and she gratefully accepted them. However, she couldn’t quite shake the impression that everyone was waiting for something. More specifically, they were waiting for her. Shippo was the worst, with his long, searching looks. At one point, she cornered the kitsune and whispered, “Why don’t you ever talk about the others?”
With a very serious expression, he whispered back, “Why don’t you ever ask about the others?”
Touché.
After that, Shippo went out of his way to share stories about the past. He was more than happy to tell her about Miroku and Sango’s busy household... or about the havoc he’d wreaked at the kitsune school where Hisoka taught, but he was suspiciously silent with regards to two people in particular. Inuyasha was never mentioned. Neither was Sesshoumaru.
More and more, she dwelt on memories that reached far into the past. Did all of it really happen to me? It was almost as if she’d already lived three lifetimes, and she hadn’t even graduated from high school yet. Too many adventures make you older than your years? In spite of all the drama and danger, Kagome didn’t regret the strange twists and turns her life had taken. It’s like Hisoka-sensei said; they paved the way. Without those experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am now.
What am I waiting for? To be fair, their five centuries had only been five days for her, but not-knowing was making her restless. I wonder if they waited? She assumed that Hisoka and Shippo must still be in contact with the brothers. Not that I want them to be waiting for me, specifically... but we’re still friends... I hope.
She missed Inuyasha’s grumbling concern. She longed for Miroku’s quick wit. She ached to see Sango and her brood. And... she remembered a kiss. Still, another week passed before the haunting memory of one single, stunning smile finally drove her to ask, “Where is Sesshoumaru-sama?”
Shippo rather dramatically clutched at his heart and dropped to the pavement in front of the shrine’s little shop, and Kagome hurried to his side, worriedly asking, “Are you all right?”
“He is fine,” Hisoka remarked blandly.
“Then... why...?”
“Took you long enough to ask!” Shippo accused, folding his arms over his chest in a decidedly sulky attitude.
“Erm... sorry?”
“Nah, it’s okay, Kagome,” he replied. “Waiting’s just really hard sometimes.”
“Only sometimes?” Hisoka inquired with a huff of amusement. The neko-youkai glanced her way and helpfully relayed, “Shippo also lost a wager.”
“Who did you bet against?” she asked curiously.
The kitsune turned shifty-eyed and muttered, “Can’t say. You’ll see.”
“Well, then what did you bet?”
“I thought you’d ask about Inuyasha first,” the kitsune admitted.
“Why?”
“Because Sesshoumaru’s the one who made you run away,” he replied matter-of-factly.
She blinked and asked, “Says who?”
“Says him!”
Kagome looked helplessly at Hisoka, who gently said, “Despite my attempts to reason with him, that is what milord believes. Now, if you please... there are some things waiting for you in the house.” He started walking in that direction, then glanced back to beckon encouragingly.
Shippo bounced to his feet and tucked his arm through Kagome’s drawing her along. “His high and mighty lordship made us promise to keep our mouths shut until you were good and ready to talk... and even then, only if you asked directly about him.”
Inside, Hisoka sought out Kagome’s mother and formally announced, “Higurashi-san, your daughter has seen fit to ask about Lord Sesshoumaru.”
A spark of interest lit the woman’s eyes, and she sought Kagome’s gaze. “Is that so?” she inquired with a soft smile. “Thank goodness.”
Kagome straightened, feeling left out and a little defensive. “What do you mean, Mama?”
“Well, it was obvious that he’s very serious,” the woman replied pleasantly.
“It was?” she asked, trying to fathom what her mother seemed to be saying. “You’ve met Sesshoumaru-sama?”
“Yes, dear, and he left some things for you. Just a moment.”
As Mrs. Higurashi left the room, Kagome rounded on her friends. “Sesshoumaru-sama came here? He met my family? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” she demanded.
“Milord is very... stubborn,” Hisoka replied apologetically. “To his way of thinking, you left to get away from him; therefore, he had no wish to impose himself upon you the moment you returned. His brother agreed to keep his distance as well, until you asked for one of them.”
Kagome listened with growing incredulity. “They’re both here... or rather, now... in my era?”
“They are.”
“And... they agreed on something.”
Hisoka actually smiled. “They did.”
“But then... what was Sesshoumaru-sama doing here?”
“Milord is also very traditional,” the neko-youkai relayed. “He wished to properly introduce himself to your family.”
Mrs. Higurashi walked into the room then, her arms laden with several boxes, and Shippo hurried forward to help her. “The rest are sitting on my bed,” the woman announced. “Would you bring them out, Donguri-san?”
“Yes, ma’am!” he agreed, whisking away.
She waved her daughter over, patting the spot beside her on the couch. “Let’s see what your young man left,” she eagerly coaxed.
“My... what?” Kagome asked nervously. Her gaze drifted back to Hisoka and she begged, “What is all this?”
“These are courtship gifts,” he supplied bluntly.
Brows furrowing, she retorted, “I thought you said he didn’t want to impose!”
“Hnn,” Hisoka replied, casting a rueful glance towards Shippo, whose arms were weighed down by more packages. “It pleases his lordship to interpret your inquiries after his person as an auspicious sign that you may yet accept him.”
Kagome lifted the lid of the box her mother placed on her lap. The exquisite kimono inside must have cost a fortune, as did the length of silk in the next box. “That’s incredibly presumptuous,” she murmured, shaking her head in disbelief.
Hisoka inclined his head and said, “I can only ask you to recall that we are speaking of Sesshoumaru.”
One box after another was opened, and with each, Kagome’s consternation grew. “Does he actually think I want all of this?”
“These gifts are admittedly more traditional than practical,” Hisoka tactfully replied.
“His heart’s in the right place, but he’s always been a few centuries behind the times,” Shippo slyly offered.
Kagome sighed and reached for the next box, lifting the lid and folding back the tissue paper. She gasped, and all movement in the room ceased as she slowly lifted yet another offering from the taiyoukai. The soft, blue cardigan was not exactly the same as the one she’d left behind, but it was similar enough for her to understand the sentiment behind its choosing; with a pang of delight, she clasped it to her heart.
“Oho, she likes that one!” Shippo cheerfully remarked.
“Hnn.”
Color rose in Kagome’s cheeks as she pointed out, “Well... this one actually means something.”
“That it does,” the neko-youkai agreed.
Leaving her mother to investigate the rest of the boxes, Kagome asked Hisoka, “How am I supposed to answer all of this?”
He crouched before her, solemnly meeting her gaze. “Do you still want the same thing you wished for a few months and more than a millennia ago?”
“My wish?”
“Yes. When I first met you, you told me that you wished to remain at Sesshoumaru-sama’s side. Indeed, you were willing to fight to keep that place.”
“Oh... but things were different back then.”
“Agreed,” Hisoka replied patiently. “However, I have three questions for you, Cricket.”
“Erm... okay,” she replied cautiously.
He lifted one finger and inquired, “What was your reason then?”
The answer was simple enough. I trusted Sesshoumaru-sama because I knew the kind of person he would become.
Hisoka demanded no verbal response, only lifting a second finger. “Has that reason changed?”
Her eyes widened. Sesshoumaru-sama obviously hasn’t changed, nor has my trust.
“If not,” the neko-youkai pressed, lifting a third finger. “Is that reason still enough?”
“Enough... for what?” she whispered.
“To return to milord’s side.”
■▪■▪■▪■▪■
Hisoka-sensei can drive. It didn’t really surprise Kagome, but his casual competence still struck her as funny. Demons of old shouldn’t be this comfortable behind the wheel of a sedan. She gazed out the passenger side window, not really seeing anything.
“Are we there yet?” Shippo whined from the backseat.
The neko-youkai shot him a look in the rear view mirror. “None of that.”
With a snicker, the kitsune stretched his legs across the length of the back seat and opined, “Woulda been faster to fly.”
“You can fly as much as you like once we reach our destination.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he sighed. And after a well-calculated pause, he inquired, “So... are we there yet?”
As they left the city behind, bound for wherever it was Sesshoumaru lived, Kagome asked, “Wouldn’t it have been simpler to invite Sesshoumaru-sama back to the Shrine?”
“Not by half,” scoffed Shippo.
“His lordship is stubborn,” Hisoka offered for the umpteenth time. “He refuses to blend in to human society, so it is difficult for him to travel into the city.”
“He won’t pretend to be human?”
“Nope,” Shippo replied. “It was exhausting when he decided to visit last time. If I hadn’t helped smuggle him through, it woulda been a diplomatic nightmare. You shoulda seen the looks on your family’s faces when he turned up on the front step—fur, stripes, and all.”
“That must have been a shock for Mama,” she mused aloud.
“Oh, she took to him right away,” the kitsune replied.
“Like mother, like daughter,” Hisoka interjected.
Kagome’s thoughts turned to her mother. She was here with her family’s blessing, which had taken her aback. “You’re letting me go?” she’d asked.
“Naturally, dear.” With a secretive smile, Mrs. Higurashi confided, “To tell the truth, I’m rooting for your grown lordling.”
“Mama!” Kagome exclaimed in scandalized tones. “How can you say that?”
“Because in his way, I think he loves you.”
“In his way,” she echoed dubiously.
“Yes,” her mother replied thoughtfully. “Lord Sesshoumaru didn’t express himself in human terms. It always boiled down to one phrase—she is mine.”
“That again?” Kagome muttered. She’s told her mother about the circumstances surrounding her betrothal and how strange it had been to face the taiyoukai in the feudal era.
“Yes, and I asked him why he considered you his. Do you know what he answered?” Mama asked. “He said, ‘Because she is.’”
She groaned softly. “He’s always been very sure of himself... and terrible at explaining himself.”
Mrs. Higurashi had smiled and inquired, “Oh? And how would you explain love?”
Kagome sighed heavily, and two sharp-nosed youkai glanced her way. “Are you comfortable?” asked Hisoka.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you worried about seeing him again?” Shippo pried.
“Erm... yes. I suppose I am.”
“It’ll be okay,” the kitsune promised, reaching forward to give her shoulder a pat. “He’s actually kinda... mellow.”
“Relatively speaking,” allowed the neko-youkai.
“Well, yeah, for him,” conceded Shippo. “But since he’s the one we’re talking about, I figured it was okay to fudge a little. He’s mellow compared to himself, not to normal people.”
Kagome giggled at the disguised kitsune’s roundabout explanation, which made sense; it also made her feel better to hear someone else say that Sesshoumaru wasn’t normal. “I still can’t believe he waited.”
“Did you miss all those times Sensei-dono used the word stubborn?” Shippo inquired teasingly. “Nobody’s more set in his ways than he is.”
“He is tenacious,” Hisoka acknowledged.
“Just another word for mind-bogglingly stubborn,” sang out Shippo. “But... I can’t really blame him for all that single-minded devotion. After all, I’m canine, too.”
At Kagome’s puzzled expression, Hisoka supplied, “Canine-type youkai mate for life.”
■▪■▪■▪■▪■
A couple hours later, Kagome thought to ask, “What would have happened if I’d asked about Inuyasha first?”
“We’d be driving in an entirely different direction,” Shippo cheerfully answered.
“To see Inuyasha?”
“That’s right.”
“Is he... okay?” she ventured curiously.
“Yup.” The kitsune leaned over the back of her seat and explained, “Since you gave me to Sensei-dono, I ended up spending more time with him and Sesshoumaru than with Inuyasha and them. We visit pretty regularly, though.”
“Them?” she asked curiously.
“Nuh-uh,” he said, wagging a finger at her. “Inuyasha has dibbs on that part of the story.”
“So I’ll be seeing him sometime?” she asked softly.
The kitsune snorted. “He’ll make sure he gets his turn. Definitely.”
They traveled down smaller and smaller roads until finally, they bumped along a narrow lane that simply ended. The neko-youkai pulled the car under a mossy-roofed carport and declared, “We walk from here.”
“You weren’t kidding when you said Sesshoumaru-sama lives in the middle of nowhere,” Kagome remarked wryly.
“His lordship likes his privacy,” Hisoka replied.
Shippo leapt from the backseat of the car, did a handspring, tucked into a somersault, and came up in all his kitsune glory, tails swishing dramatically. “Tada!”
“Is it safe?” Kagome asked, glancing around.
“Yup,” he assured. “A human would have to be really lost to make it this far into Sesshoumaru’s territory.”
When she looked back towards Hisoka, orange eyes met her gaze, and she blinked in surprise at pewter hair and pointed ears. That’s better, she decided. He somehow seemed more at ease with himself, and Kagome found herself relaxing as well.
The neko-youkai waved the two of them towards the forest that spread before them. “This way.”
They strolled through woods that felt old. Tall trees, thick trunks, and a high canopy that filtered the sunlight, sheltering them from the heat of the day. Eventually, the forest thinned somewhat, lending Kagome a look at the surrounding landscape. The trail curved away around the base of a hill, and she was struck by a niggling sense of familiarity. As soon as they rounded the bend, she suddenly realized where she was. “The Fortress,” she said in awe. The ruins of the Western Fortress weren’t visible from where they stood, but there was no mistaking the ridge. There was also barely anything left of the plain, for the forest had advanced towards the cliffs. She could clearly see them... as well as the caves that lined their base.
“There are few who remember,” Hisoka remarked. “But these lands still belong to the Western Lord.”
“It’s so different,” Kagome murmured.
“More like gone,” Shippo corrected.
“But... it was here,” she said stubbornly. “And while I was here, this was home.”
“This way,” Hisoka urged once more.
They skirted the cliffs, circling around towards the back of the ridge. Through the trees ahead, light sparkled upon water. “The lake is still here?”
“It is.”
Kagome quickened her pace, glad to revisit a place that held such happy memories. Blue water rippled. Cattails waved. A pair of rowboats lay beside a short dock. A rope swing hung from a nearby tree. And not far from its shore stood a small pavilion. “It’s the same,” she gasped.
“It is,” Hisoka repeated. “There were those who protested his living out of a cave, so Milord had his pavilion rebuilt here. We were even able to convince him to add modern plumbing the year you were born.”
Turning to Shippo, Kagome excitedly whispered, “While I was gone... when I was here... we lived in a little house just like this.”
“I know,” he said kindly, green eyes shining with affection. “Heard the story about a zillion times by now.”
“Come along,” Hisoka urged, taking her arm and leading towards the pavilion.
Just about then, the obvious struck her upside the head. He’s here. This is his home.
When her feet began to drag, Shippo took her other arm and whispered, “Don’t chicken out now, Kagome!”
Stomach in knots. Heart in her throat. Somehow she managed to mutter, “Is it all right to just walk in?”
Hisoka patted her hand. “He knows we are here, and we are most welcome.”
Up the steps. Across the porch. Through the door.
The main room was spacious, simply furnished, and softly lit by sunlight filtering through paper screens. In its customary place near the corner stood a low table, and in Hisoka’s usual spot sat Sesshoumaru. “We brought her,” the neko-youkai announced unnecessarily, for intense golden eyes were already fixed upon Kagome’s face.
Shippo nudged her with his elbow, and in a stage whisper, announced, “He’s only sitting down because his knees are knocking together.”
Sesshoumaru’s usual death glare actually came off more exasperated than anything, and Kagome noticed. That was as much as she could manage in the tense atmosphere. Then, the taiyoukai rose gracefully and slowly approached; when she gasped, he stilled. Sesshoumaru easily stood half a head taller than Hisoka now; his broad shoulders still quite didn’t rival his father’s, but she supposed that was because he took more after his mother. Five more centuries lent him an aura of maturity. Kagome knew she was staring, but he simply stood there, inviting her inspection. Finally, she found her voice. “You’ve changed.”
“You have not,” he replied quietly.
Shippo snorted into the silence that followed. “He’s also still a lousy conversationalist, but lucky for you, we’re staying to help.”
Reaching over to cuff the kitsune’s shoulder, Hisoka chided, “Mind your manners.”
The redhead shot him a rebellious look. “Five centuries, and they’ve said five whole words.”
Hisoka hissed, Sesshoumaru huffed, and Kagome giggled. Encouraged by her amusement, the taiyoukai dared another step forward and politely said, “Welcome.”
“Thank you,” she murmured softly.
Shippo held up three fingers and rolled his eyes expressively.
Smiling in spite of herself, Kagome said, “I hope you don’t mind the intrusion.”
Sesshoumaru took another step and replied, “You may do as you please.”
“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do,” she asked lightly.
He considered her carefully, then asked, “May I?”
Oh. Well, she’d totally walked into that one. “Within reason?” she tentatively answered.
With another step, he continued his advance, and she noticed a few things. His luxuriant kimono was red and white, with an intricate floral pattern scattered across the silk. The enormous billow of fur she recalled from the feudal era was still in evidence, though it was draped differently now. The silvery mass was split into two and fell from both his shoulders in much the same fashion his father’s had. However, most distracting was Sesshoumaru’s youki, which was in complete disarray. It was as if every fiber of his being was reaching for her, and yet with every fiber of his being, he was holding himself back.
Arching a brow, Sesshoumaru inquired, “Would it be reasonable to expect to be greeted in the same manner with which you welcomed these two?”
“Sly dog,” Shippo chuckled.
The inu-youkai’s chin came up, a silent challenge in his gaze. He was only demanding his right as a friend, and Kagome felt guilty that he’d even had to ask. “I hugged them both,” she announced, taking her own step forward.
In a twinkling, he was wrapped around her, enfolding her in a staggering abundance of silk, fur, hair... and scent. Her heart fluttered, and a tremor passed through Sesshoumaru’s whole being, but he said nothing. Neither did he let go, and Kagome suspected that given a choice, he never would.
Shippo horned in then, brazenly putting his arms around the pair. At Sesshoumaru’s startled expression, the kitsune cheekily announced, “It was a group hug.”
With a soft chuckle, Hisoka placed his hand on the inu-youkai’s other shoulder and said, “That is true, milord.”
While they casually teased Sesshoumaru, Kagome slipped her arms around him, holding on tight as she listened to the rapid beating of his heart. In spite of the ongoing banter, Sesshoumaru’s attention was definitely fixed on her. His fingers found their way into her hair as he cradled her against his broad chest, which rose and fell with the deep breaths he was taking. She couldn’t honestly regret her decision, but she felt awful about some of the consequences. Do I need to make up for it?
I can be here for him now. I can be his friend. But it was obvious that he had friends. Good friends. He hadn’t waited five centuries to trade email addresses and meet in snack shops. It remained to be seen whether his resolve sprung from stubbornness or loyalty or love, but the courtship gifts made his intentions clear.
So... what do I want?
As she stood in Sesshoumaru’s embrace, returning it as best she could, she made her decision. Kagome wanted to give him a chance. She owed him that much.
End Note: Posted on March 11, 2011. 4,569 words.