Beautiful Morning with You (or Lack Thereof) by TheWonderCage

Divine Intervention

Beautiful Morning with You (or Lackthereof)

Track 1: Divine Intervention. (Or demonic or what you will)

 Well isn't this a surprise? This is an answer to a challenge issued by Gina Bristow, and well...this is my first challenge-answer fic. :D I figure it couldn't help to try, right? I could ramble on and on about how this is my favorite couple and all that but I'm already bored with myself and I can only imagine how you feel. I guess I'll leave you all alone and get on with it right?

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or its characters or anything thusly regarding the series... (I don't even own the plot!)

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"Don't deny it! You couldn't get laid even if you tried!" InuYasha yelled.

Kagome frowned eyeing the DVD-case InuYasha cradled in his arms.

It wasn't that she couldn't get laid because she could if she wanted to. It was just that she didn't find the big deal in putting one's thing in someone else's that.

"What difference does me not getting laid have to do with me not wanting to watch that stupid nude-y video with you? This is the dumbest thing you've ever asked of me. EVER!"

Truth be told, Kagome had never even seen a penis in all her nineteen years of life, (well, save for that one time Inu-Yasha lost his trunks at the pool.) Kagome was, for lack of a better word, sheltered. She'd never even kissed a boy, in that real way that every girl longs for; much less seen one of their packages. (Although many of her more perverted friends had offered, she would usually blush and Sango would come to her rescue.) Hugs were the highlight of her teenage existence; even though that teenage existence was coming to sad uneventful close.

"All I'm saying is that it's a disgrace! You're a disgrace! Sango and Miroku get their freak on all the time and from what I hear they watch porn while they do it; all the time!"

Kagome blushed every shade of red in the one-hundred-and-nine color crayon box. "T-that's different! We're not trying to get into each other's pants!" She then added as an after thought. "Besides, it's unethical and immoral for a young woman, such as myself, to do something so disgusting. Only skanks do that!"

One of Inu-Yasha’s eyebrows shot up, "So, Sango, Ayame, Kikyo, Kagura and Yura are skanks?"

Kagome sputtered, "W-well Ayame is in an arranged marriage so it's only natural for her to be curious about that kind of stuff. And, well, Sango is going out with Miroku and they watch it together so it's ok I guess...Sango's not a skank; Miroku's just perverted her a little."

He looked at her expectantly, "And?"

"And what? Kagura and Yura are skanks."

"Well, yeah, we know that, but Kikyo's not a skank," he said confidently.

Kagome's frown deepened. "I think I would know whether my sister was a skank or not..."

He looked at her hopefully. "But she's not right?"

Kagome's eyebrows furrowed, "What do you want from me? You want me to give you a sermon of her purity? Want me to tell you that she and Naraku haven't seen the back seat of his car? You know, you want to get into her pants so badly, but you expect her to be the perfect picture of womanly morals. That doesn't seem right. It's little unfair if you ask me. I didn't see you being very proper when you were dating Sachiko."

"Hey! My virtue is not in question here!" he cried.

She sighed. "Oh yeah like you weren't dissing me and my virtue that happens to be intact? Yet you want to do my sister. That's very noble..."

But it was true, While Kagome couldn’t very well call her sister a skank. Familial obligations and all of that good stuff. Kagome and Kikyo were twins but, like most  twins, they were nothing alike. They had always been different. Right from day one, Kikyo would cry about the littlest speck of dirt on her little shoes. While Kagome would happily soil herself in any puddle around and would scream bloody murder if her mother even attempted to touch her bird's-nest she called hair (They eventually cut the whole thing off when she was 5). Kagome was a tomboy, while Kikyo was a Strawberry-Pretty-Prissy-Princess.

When they hit puberty, Kikyo became interested in her body and flaunting it to the opposite sex. Sure, she may be taking it out of context, but as far as Kagome was concerned anyone who could peel their make-up off, showed their panties with the littlest hint of a breeze and were often found in peculiar situations with their current boyfriend, where considered skanks. Call her a prude, but it was her current mind-set.

"You're just jealous that Kikyo gets more than you do." He moved towards the T.V. "Now quit being a baby and watch it!"

In an attempt to keep him from the T.V, Kagome grabbed his ankle and pulled, effectively bringing the boy to ground, face first, and keeping him from the T.V. "Fuck you! If I want to keep my pants on, it's my business! Now either pick a different plot-filled movie or we're watching Howl's Moving Castle again!" she said hotly. "Besides, what would possess you to watch porn in your living room where anyone at any given time can walk in and see you? That's illogical!"

He smirked while picking himself up to sit Indian-style where he'd fallen. "Getting caught is half the fun!" He then narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously. "You know, I bet the only reason you haven't gotten laid is 'cause you've got something to hide, like a third nipple or a penis or something."

She huffed indignantly, "You've known me most of your life! I think you would know if I had a wee-wee."

InuYasha giggled, "You said wee-wee!"

"Whatever, you're such a typical gu-" she was cut off by a rattle in the front foyer.

"Damnit, Kagome! Do you see what you do? Now we can't watch the God-damn movie for shit!" InuYasha whispered harshly. 

“What happened to, 'getting caugh is half the fun?'" She whispered harshly at him. 

"Well, I don't exactly want to get caught, with you of all people, watching porn. Then my parents will get the wrong idea and I'll have to explain to them for weeks that, for the last time, I am not going to marry you! Now, I don't even get to see it!!"

The front door opened and then slammed shut.

She glared at him, "And besides, shut the hell up, you weren't going to watch it anyway."

At that moment, InuYasha's godly, asshole of an older brother walked in. Kagome wasn't going to lie, while she hated him with every fiber in her being, ahe had to admit that the dickhead was gorgeous. But, beauty doesn't usually stop one from being a frigid shit-head; it actually promotes it; most of the time anyway.  He took that moment to stand in all his Snooty-college-junior-superiority at the entrance and glare down at them.

"Whelp," he greeted his younger brother.

"Asshole," the younger brother retorted.

Sesshoumaru turned to Kagome with dispassionate eyes, "What is that beast doing in my home?" he asked disdainfully.

"Kiss my ass, Fuck-tard," she ground out flipping him the bird.

"Not even in your dreams, Bitch." he growled.

"You're not even good enough to be in my dreams, Prick!"

InuYasha watched the banter with interest. They always fought like this. Once one of them walked into a room, one or the other had to insult the other. They fought more than InuYasha and Sesshoumaru and the brothers fought a lot.

"Or wholly too good," he countered.

He wasn't sure how it started. InuYasha and Kagome hit it off immediately, becoming best friends, but that had been after his mother got married to his father and they moved in to the mansion. That was after his father's first wife had met her untimely demise. Apparently, before that Sesshoumaru and Kagome were close, but maybe a couple of weeks after they, InuYasha and his mother, moved in; Kagome and Sesshoumaru drifted apart, InuYasha and Kagome became best friends and the war began. Who knew what happened? Maybe one of them hit their head and was semi-retarded now...? He looked at Kagome then at Sesshoumaru. Figuring out which it was, was going to prove a problem.

"Cock-bite!"

Sesshoumaru caught himself on his last insult and rolled his eyes, "While I do love to hear the same insults every time we meet, my dear, I couldn't help but notice you were about to watch a video." He looked to the box in InuYasha's hands. "Distasteful as it may seem, it does suit the two of you; a painfully, disgraceful virgin and an immoral, horribly unattractive whore." He turned to leave and before walking away threw over his shoulder, "How fitting for two distasteful miscreants. Don't worry I won't tell your mother of your naughty ways."

"Go to hell, Dick-weed!" Kagome yelled at his retreating form. "Argh! Shouldn't he be living in a dorm somewhere?"

"Shouldn't we?" InuYasha asked. "I think he meant that you were the former. I like to think of myself as a whore with a heart of gold."

Kagome grimaced and shook her head. "Whatever, Pretty Woman, I could get anyone I want in the sack. I just don't think any of these losers are worth my time."

"Care to put your money where your mouth is?" He eyed her evilly.

"What?" she asked. What could this punk have up his sleeve?

"I have a proposition." The evil glint only seemed to get brighter.

"Oh yeah?" She was starting to feel a little nervous, but tried to match his expression with one of mild interest. She figured she'd look tough or constipated, it really didn't matter at this point as she was about to get the raw end of the deal...She always did.

"If you say you can get anyone, let's make a bet," he continued. "The bet is you have to lay Sesshoumaru."

"Sounds easy enough. Your brother is easy. The town bicycle, if you will." She casually played it off with a disinterested wave of her hand but she was trembling inside. She didn't want to have sex Sesshoumaru! What would she do? She'd been protecting her treasured virginity forever just so she could give it to that ass? Fuck that! Life sucked. "What do I get if I win?"

"Whatever you want, but if you lose you have to have a threesome with Sango and Miroku and have it recorded for future reference," he said light-heartedly holding his hand out to her.

It was a known fact that Miroku had been bugging Sango for a threesome for quite some time, but the girl refused unless it was her best friend with her. While Kagome and InuYasha where best friends, every girl needd a girl best friend to tell all her girly secrets to; thus Sango. What fun was it for Kagome to tell InuYasha that mother nature had just Falcon Punched her in the uterus? He'd usually just scoff at her audacity and walk off. There were somethings that men just didn't understand and vice versa. Girls just didn't find the art in two girls making out and what it did to boys. But, was her reputation really something to be tarnished so easily? Of course, InuYasha was rich and could literally give her whatever she wanted but the real question was:

Was there anything worth her virginity?

She could figure something out. As a college freshman it was her duty in this new day and age to go out and get laid. No one really cared for all that virgin crap any more anyway, right? Well, she hoped. She really didn't want to do this but she was just so sick and tired of the group dogging her. As a woman of the 21st century it was her duty, her morals be damned! With a new determination to get laid once, get it out of the way and live her life more peacefully than ever before; she said, "Alright, you've got yourself a deal." She took his hand and her virginity's fate was sealed. Not that it mattered or anything, 'cause it didn't. Nope, not at all! Screw morals!

Oh who was she kidding? It was going to take a lot of work to swallow her pride, set aside her morals and standards and get into Sesshoumaru's pants. How hard could that be?

She figured she was a couple of turns passed screwed.