Lightning on the Brain by Trouble_In_Shangri_la
Chapter 1
Note: Been away from fanfiction for ten years, thought I should drop by with a little headcanon that’s close to home. This is a SessKag as family/friendship story because I rewatched Final Act and wanted to carry on that vibe. I’m pretending the well still works because I can.
Dross, this is partly your fault. ;D
o0o
Nothing alarmed Kagome like the sight of Rin racing up to her in tears. She had scarcely emerged from the well before the preteen skidded to a halt. Her flushed, tear stained face glistened under the bright noontime sunlight.
“Lady Kagome, Lord Sesshoumaru is possessed by something!”
“Possessed?”
Instantly, Kagome’s senses rose to full alert, but she didn’t sense any unfamiliar demonic auras. Sesshoumaru’s aura was present, yet banked like a flame, making his exact location too nebulous to pinpoint. And what sort of demon could possess someone as powerful as Sesshoumaru?
She sighed, tugging a wrinkle out of her purple floral print nursing scrubs, and bent to pick up the trusty yellow backpack that had seen her through many battles.
“I’ll see what I can do. Take me to him.”
Nodding, Rin jogged towards the forest’s edge, her perpetually bare feet swishing against fallen leaves.
I guess Inuyasha and Miroku are still hunting demons in the next village over. Huh, I hope Inuyasha gets back before my next shift tomorrow afternoon...
Kagome followed Rin until she spotted the glint of Sesshoumaru’s silver hair amid the sun dappled foliage. He was just standing there, gazing up at the forest canopy. Something about him didn't look quite right. He slouched with his shoulders hunched— he never did that— and his eyes had a blank, glassy stare.
Kagome checked her watch on instinct.
Jaken, who had been crouching nearby, leapt to his feet. “Rin!”
“Has he moved at all, Master Jaken?”
“No...” Jaken bristled at seeing Kagome. “Who invited you?”
Kagome planted her hands on her hips and scowled at the little green demon. “Rin got scared and she came to me for help.” She held up a finger before Jaken could open his mouth. “First things first. Has this happened before?”
Rin sniffled and nodded. Kagome reached out and gave her shoulder a comforting squeeze.
“Anything you can tell me is helpful. It’s okay.”
“He made me and Jaken go away in the middle of the night once.” Rin whispered, “I went back later and he was sleeping, but breathing really loud.”
“Loud, how?”
“I don’t know...it's like Inuyasha whenever he sucks up noodles. I couldn't see because it was so dark. I went away because I didn’t want to wake him up.”
“Okay.” The picture was coming together now. Kagome focused on Jaken. “Now, your turn. Have you seen this before?”
“Well, er...maybe?” Jaken squinted and scratched his head.
“What do you mean by maybe? ”
“I mean that I have only witnessed this three times! Lord Sesshoumaru falls into a terrible sadness and commands me to leave his presence! Sometimes I don’t see him again for almost a full night or day! He gave no such command this time, so I am standing guard!”
Oh, wow, if this is what I think it is...
“Has he returned to you injured in ways he couldn’t explain?”
“Wh-what sort of question is that? Lord Sesshoumaru never volunteers the causes of his wounds.”
“Is that a yes?”
Jaken spluttered and folded his arms.
“What kind of wounds, Jaken?”
“Er...uh...” He winced. “I only saw it once, but... um... uh... he—um— his tongue was mangled. I saw it when he was hunting for food.” His enormous eyes welled over and he whimpered, “Please don’t tell him I told you!”
“Do a split lip and scratches all over his face count too?” Rin whispered it like a secret.
I’m right. Kagome nodded. “Yeah, that counts too.”
She reached into her bag, squirted hand sanitizer onto her palms and rubbed them together out of sheer habit. Rin’s and Jaken’s helpful input gave her everything she needed.
“Thanks, you two.” Kagome stepped in front of Sesshoumaru, who hadn’t reacted even slightly to anything. “Hey, Sesshoumaru?”
Sesshoumaru lowered his head to stare at her. His pupils were far too dilated for the light levels, and he wasn’t squinting. Even his facial expression looked blanker than usual. That was when she noticed the subtle chewing movement of his jaw.
“Do you know where you are right now?” Kagome asked him.
Sesshoumaru’s eyes flicked back and forth. He frowned as if trying to piece her words together. “Where?”
“Do you know who I am?”
Again, that frowning eye flick. “Who?”
“Can you tell me what two plus two is?”
“Two...plus?” His eyelids fluttered shut and sprang open again. He reminded her of a sleepy college student struggling to stay awake to study. Definitely an altered state of consciousness.
“Don’t ask him such foolish—“
Rin clamped her hand over Jaken’s mouth. “Master Jaken, let her help!”
“Mmph!”
“It’s okay. Guys, calm down.” Kagome said, her eyes still fixed on Sesshoumaru.
Things were going to get worse before they got better. She shifted immediately into safety mode.
“Rin, take the swords off his obi.” And a pointed glare at Jaken demanded no argument.
Rin let go of Jaken to retrieve Tenseiga and Bakusaiga. They whistled gently when they slid over the soft silk. She backed away with them cradled in her arms like precious treasure. Sesshoumaru didn’t notice or react.
Kagome took Sesshoumaru’s hand, making sure to keep her movements slow and non threatening.
“Here, Sesshoumaru, I’m taking hold of your hand. Let’s go sit down in the little clearing behind me, okay? Can you do that?”
Sesshoumaru grasped her hand and walked with her as if nothing seemed amiss. She lowered herself to sit in the sunny stretch of grass well away from rocks and tree roots. He gracefully seated himself next to her and bent his knees until they were level with his chest.
Rin and Jaken looked on, their faces flitting between wide eyed worry and confused frowns.
Kagome grabbed a scrunchie from her backpack and quickly looped her hair into a ponytail to keep it out of her face. She drew in a deep, cleansing breath when Sesshoumaru’s breathing accelerated.
“I’m going to take this fur off you, okay?”
No response or resistance from Sesshoumaru at all, not even a quizzical look.
Kagome knelt to carefully unwrap the fluffy pelt he wore on his right shoulder and laid it out behind him like a long pillow. She eyed his position and pulled the thickest length of it down alongside his left side.
“I’m putting your pelt right by you. Do you want to lay down?”
No reaction whatsoever. His gaze drifted back towards the treetops. The chewing motions of his jaw graduated into tooth grinding, the grating noise setting Kagome’s own teeth on edge in sympathy.
“Rin, Jaken, I know what’s wrong. He isn’t possessed. His brain is misfiring. I don’t have time to explain, but you’re about to see something very, very scary. You have to try to stay calm. I’ll show you how to help him through this.”
“What’s going to happen?” Rin pressed her hands together.
“He’s going to get really stiff and then he’s going to shake. He might scream, moan, or make a croaking noise in his throat that sounds like he’s scared or in pain, but he won’t know he’s doing it,” Kagome answered gently. She lifted her chin towards Jaken. “Jaken, take a deep breath. I can handle this. Watch me and learn.”
Jaken reigned in his whimpering until he managed a deep breath, but his nerves revealed themselves by the way he worried his sleeves with his fingers. “M’Lord, your humble servant is here.”
Rin breathed deeply too. She crouched down with the swords still clutched tightly in her arms. “Me, too, Lord Sesshoumaru.”
Sesshoumaru’s eyes narrowed. He stopped grinding his teeth and sucked in a sharp, gasping breath. A frown wrinkled his smooth brow. His gaze drifted to Kagome’s face. Then his eyes widened and his pupils dilated completely.
That looked so alarming, like watching his golden irises being swallowed by black holes, but Kagome’s nursing instincts kept her calm. Patients and their families depended on nurses and doctors for guidance when their bodies misbehaved. If she panicked, they panicked.
Of course, staying calm for strangers proved much easier because she had no emotional attachment to them. Family was different.
Kagome rubbed Sesshoumaru’s shoulder in slow, soothing strokes and spoke to him as if he could still hear and understand her.
“I’ve got you. It’s okay, Sesshoumaru. I’ll take care of you. It’s okay...”
His red eyelids fluttered and his eyes drifted to the right until the whites stood out in sharp contrast. A second later, his head followed. He appeared to look over his shoulder at something behind him.
There he goes. She glanced at her watch again.
Sesshoumaru brought his right hand up in a flicking motion. His billowing kimono sleeve fell to his elbow, exposing his forearm. Uncharacteristic terror contorted his pretty features. A low croaking noise rose from his throat and crescendoed into a hellish yelp as his whole body stiffened. His fists clenched, his straightening arms crossed over at the wrists and his long legs extended out in front of him. He grew so tense that he shuddered like a leaf in the wind.
Kagome eased him to lie on his right side, taking care to stay behind him. She cushioned his head on the end of his pelt, piled the rest against his back to keep him propped on his side and petted his upturned cheek with her knuckles. His face had locked itself into a pained grimace, his jaw muscles like iron under her touch.
“It’s okay. I’ve got you. You’ll be okay,” Kagome murmured. She draped his long hair over his pelt so it wouldn’t tangle up on his armor.
“Lord Sesshoumaru,” Rin whispered. “What’s wrong with him?”
“Rin, he’s having a seizure. I promise that I’ll explain what that is after I help him. Okay?”
Rin nodded, her eyes brimming with worried tears. Beside her, Jaken gulped noisily.
Sesshoumaru’s tense muscles started to contract and relax, which caused his limbs to jerk repeatedly and synchronously. Even his jaw, cheeks and eyebrows flexed. He grunted, low and guttural. If he was making noises, he was breathing. Not well, judging by his dusky pallor, but better than not at all.
Copious froth began to ooze from his mouth. White initially, then pink and red. Kagome tried not to think about the damage his sharp teeth were inflicting on his tongue.
Rin bit back a bitter sob. “Is he in pain?”
“No. He’s unconscious and won’t remember this part,” Kagome reassured her.
Then Sesshoumaru’s torso jerked side to side like a fish ripped from water.
“Oh, Lord Sesshoumaru!” Jaken rushed forward. “Your loyal servant is—OOF!” —and ran into a flailing leg that sent him flying halfway across the clearing.
“Ooh... are you hurt, Master Jaken?”
“Rin, shut up.”
“Fine. Be that way.”
Kagome ignored their fussing. She grasped Sesshoumaru’s spiked pauldron and hip to keep him positioned on his side. It wasn’t easy, his thrashing body really wanted to flop onto its back, but her efforts and his pelt held him up. She was glad for the pelt cushioning his head, because at the moment she had no way to protect it from pounding repeatedly against the ground.
“You’re surrounded by family. You’re fine.” She said to him. “It’s okay, Sesshoumaru. It’ll pass. It’s okay.”
“Lord Sesshoumaru...it’s Rin. I’m here.” Rin sniffled, setting the swords down next to Jaken. She crouched alongside Kagome, reached past her arm and rubbed the top of Sesshoumaru’s head. “Will this help him feel better?”
It certainly wouldn't do any harm. Kagome cast Rin a sad sidelong look and nodded, hoping to comfort her. “Yeah.”
Rin withdrew when Sesshoumaru’s whole body gave another sideways jerk. The contractions in his muscles decreased in frequency, but grew in intensity. Spittle— almost more blood than saliva— went flying, soaking part of his pelt and the red section of his kimono sleeve. His wet, choking gasps were louder than the birdsong in the trees.
Kagome swallowed past the lump in her throat. She could focus past that noise with a patient she didn’t know. Hearing it come from Sesshoumaru’s throat broke her heart.
God, how many of these did he go through alone?
Jaken turned away, he couldn’t handle it.
Rin bravely stayed where she crouched.
“Oh...Lord Sesshoumaru, your head...” She pushed the pelt further under his head and smoothed the length of his hair as best she could. “How much longer is he going to do this?”
“I don’t know. It’s different for each person.”
Kagome forced her own apprehension down. Maybe this was a typical tonic clonic seizure for Sesshoumaru, but she had never seen one this violent in all her years as an ER nurse. And she swore she would chew glass and die before letting Rin or Jaken know that. They were frightened enough.
“It’ll pass. Hang on, I promise it’ll pass.” Kagome took her hand off his hip and gently caressed his striped cheek. “It’s going to be okay. You’re okay. Come on, big brother. Hang in there.”
Several awful thrashes later, he finally stopped. He fell limp, his breathing steadying into long, snoring inhales and wet, gurgling exhales. Each breath was deep from his diaphragm while his chest muscles stayed mostly inert. Textbook post ictal stertor. Bloody saliva continued its unending trickle through his parted, bleeding lips. He didn’t even try to swallow or contain it, so it collected all over the part of his pelt Rin had helpfully tucked further under his head. His eyes stayed open, blank and unblinking.
Kagome checked her watch again. The focal unaware part of his seizure took nearly three minutes, and the tonic clonic phase lasted an eternal two and a half minutes. Only two? It felt more like ten!
“There you go. You’re okay. Everything is okay.” Kagome massaged his shoulder and tucked a wayward lock of hair behind his pointy ear while he snored. There was no response, not even a flutter of the eyelids. “The worst part is over now. You’re okay.”
She rubbed her palm in rough circles against his chest to stimulate him when his breathing lapsed a little too long for her liking. He sputtered and started up again. Gurgle, snort, snore, gurgle, snort, snore. It did sound a lot like Inuyasha slurping up noodles.
Jaken shook himself and brushed grass off his clothes. “Is he going to survive?”
Kagome pointedly looked away while he collected his dignity. “Yeah. That’s not a death rattle, Jaken, it’s just all the spit in his mouth. He’s going to come around in a little bit and be very...um...very confused and not himself.”
Rin wiped her eyes, trying with all her might to be strong. “How?”
Kagome shrugged, “Everybody is a little different. Seizures— that’s what happened to him— they take a huge toll on you, so it takes awhile to recover. He might do embarrassing things he wouldn't normally do in front of people, but he won’t remember much or any of it later.”
Jaken tip toed closer, oblivious to the small lump on his head near his little hat. Kagome used that moment to fish her stethoscope out of her bag and stuck the earpieces into her ears. Sesshoumaru’s armor wouldn’t let her perform a full lung auscultation, but she hoped to at least verify that nothing had entered his trachea or bronchi.
She gently pressed the bell of the chest piece on the front of his throat, right between his Adam’s apple and his subclavicular notch. It was hard to listen to his trachea with all the saliva burbling in his mouth, but she managed to separate that from the healthy high pitched inspiratory and expiratory sounds caused by his faintly vibrating vocal cords.
Next, she shifted the bell to the right side of his throat, slightly above his collarbone. Here, his inhales were shorter than his exhales, but the smooth high pitch came without crackles or wheezes. The left side had a tiny crackle to it. He would probably cough that up on his own once he began to regain consciousness.
Kagome turned the chest piece over, rubbed it in circles on her palm to warm it up and slipped her hand into the smooth, silky warmth under his kimono collar. She rested the diaphragm over the right intercostal space below his collarbone and just beside his sternum. His heartbeat thumped away at a languid pace. The breath sounds were loud and steady with slight variations in pitch. Good so far. She heard the same on the left side. No crackles or wheezes.
His armor wouldn’t permit her to go any further, and as she suspected she couldn’t listen to his chest through it, so she had to hope nothing made it down into the lower lobes of his lungs.
Still, there was something she could pick up, armor or no armor. She placed the chest piece over his sternum and removed the earpieces from her ears with her other hand.
“Hey, Rin. Put those in your ears.”
Rin had to hold the earpieces in position. She blinked a few times and her expression softened. “That’s his heart.”
“Yup.”
“It sounds strong, like him.” She beamed. “Can this thing tell you if a heart is good or evil?”
Kagome couldn’t resist chuckling. “No, but it can tell me if there’s something wrong with someone’s heart, lungs and intestines.”
Mischief dawned in Rin’s eyes. Kagome let go of the chest piece and watched her run towards Jaken with the stethoscope.
“Hey, Master Jaken!”
“No! Stay away from me with that thing! Oof! Hey! Ugh, why me?”
Their antics kept them suitably distracted, allowing Kagome to focus on monitoring Sesshoumaru’s breathing. The gurgling noises were slowly quieting down. He blinked once and closed his mouth, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed for the first time since he lost consciousness. A grimace pulled at his pretty features.
“It’s okay. You’re going to be fine.” Kagome whispered. She ran her hand over the top of his head and gave his upturned shoulder a reassuring squeeze.
He coughed, cleared his throat and spluttered. She slapped his back when she heard faint congestion rasp in his throat. That was the crackle she heard in his bronchus earlier.
“C’mon, keep coughing until you cough that up.”
Another chunky cough forced the gunk from his airway. Now he breathed more smoothly. His pupils contracted properly in response to the light and his eyelids screwed themselves shut.
“Ooh, I know.” Kagome lightly massaged the back of his neck. “Your eyes sting pretty bad right now, don’t they?”
Sesshoumaru slowly turned his head to squint up at her with glassy, unfocused golden eyes. He licked at the scabs forming on the insides of his lips. Deep, angry bite marks marred his tongue on both sides. That made her wince.
“Hey, don’t lick those.” She said it out of instinct, it wasn't going to stop him.
Behind her, Rin gave up on chasing Jaken around the clearing. “Is he waking up?”
“M’Lord?” Jaken hedged. He dropped the stethoscope he’d wrestled from Rin’s grasp and padded closer.
Kagome watched Sesshoumaru’s forehead wrinkle as if trying to make sense of what he heard. He rolled onto his back and sat up in one smooth motion. The maroon stripes on his cheeks turned jagged like bleeding wounds. All the blood vessels in his white scleras appeared to merge together until his eyes shone bright, demonic red. A growl rumbled in his throat. He bore his teeth. They were sharp. Bloodstained spit strings dangled off his chin while he looked around, his gaze darting from one location to the next. His unkempt appearance hung somewhere between a frightened man and an enraged dog.
“It’s okay!” Kagome said, holding her hands palms out. Her heart hammered in her chest. Keeping her voice soothingly calm was difficult. “Sesshoumaru, you’re safe. Nobody here is trying to attack you. You’re safe.”
Rin slid in front of him, absolutely unfazed by his terrifying expression, and wiped the sloppy drool off his chin with her kimono sleeve. “Are you scared? It’s okay. There’s nothing to be scared of.” A smile twitched across her face. “You looked like this when we met. Do you remember that?”
Sesshoumaru cocked his head to one side, then the other. Just like a curious dog. He squinted as he studied Rin’s features. The gears were turning in his mind, but they weren’t working together yet. He sniffed her hair and twisted to peer behind him at Kagome. Another low, rumbling growl rattled in his throat. His nose was wrinkled.
“I guess you don’t like the smell of hand sanitizer. Sorry.” Kagome squeezed his shoulders gently. “Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. We’re all okay.”
Sesshoumaru tilted his head again, like he wanted to piece her words together and couldn't quite manage it. He must have deduced that nobody posed a threat to him, because the red in his eyes receded the same way it appeared and his stripes returned to their usual smooth maroon. His teeth shrank back to normal.
Kagome exhaled, her heartbeat slowing. That was close.
“Hey, Sesshoumaru. Can you tell me what two plus two is?”
He cocked his head the other way, coughed and collapsed onto his side again, his long fingers busily picking at the fur on his pelt.
“Of course he knows the answer!” Jaken blustered, waving his arms angrily in the air.
“He doesn’t know it right now!” Kagome countered his scowl with one of her own. “That part of his brain isn’t working. I’m trying to gauge how alert he is.”
Jaken opened his mouth to say more, but in that moment Sesshoumaru grasped the back of his brown kariginu and lifted him clear off the ground.
“AHH! M’Lord, I’m only trying to defend your impressive intellect!”
Rin concealed a giggle behind her hands. Kagome just rolled her eyes as she pried the flailing green demon free of Sesshoumaru’s fingers and set him down.
Sesshoumaru patted the top of Jaken’s head before sitting up once more. He scooted away from his fluffy pelt and vomited in the grass. Unrecognizable chunks came up along with the spit and blood he swallowed. He wiped his mouth on the back of his hand and stared at the puddle he created.
Was he going to...?
Yes, yes he was.
Kagome rushed over to stop him when he bent towards the emesis.
“Let’s not do that,” She said, leading him away from the mess. Fortunately, he was distracted enough to not try again.
Rin piled twigs and rocks over the puke. “Lord Sesshoumaru made Jaken do this when I got sick in the grass once.”
”I remember.” Jaken shuddered and lowered his head. “It was awful.”
“Oh! No, no-no, no!” Rin dashed past Kagome.
Kagome looked over her shoulder and saw Sesshoumaru pull her backpack open. She didn’t worry; she’d discovered the best snooping demon repellant and kept a tiny envelope full of it for situations like this.
Right on cue, Sesshoumaru sneered and dumped the contents of the bag on the grass before shoving it away.
Another win for the chili pepper powder. Kagome sighed to herself. She kept sterile medical items in sealed plastic bags, so the loose stuff was her brush, comb, a hand sanitizer bottle, shampoo, deodorant, ramen packets and a box of tampons.
“I’ll get that!” Rin, ever helpful, moved away to gather Kagome’s scattered accoutrements. She found the stethoscope and stuffed that in, too.
Kagome noticed less franticness in Sesshoumaru’s movements, so she knelt down in front of him again.
“Hey, Sesshoumaru.”
He blinked at her and tilted his head to the side. His eyes still weren’t focusing. “Hm?”
“Can you tell me what two plus two is?”
“Mmh, don’t know,” He mumbled, his words slurring together like someone just awakened from deep sleep. “Hurts.”
“What hurts? Can you tell me what hurts?”
“Don’t know. Hurts.”
He bent forward and spat blood onto the ground. His impressively gross loogie narrowly missed Kagome’s knees.
The pain he felt was likely all over his body, a combination of fatigued muscles, a headache and biting his tongue. But he’d started talking. He could report pain. That was a very good sign.
Kagome massaged his upper arms and smiled gently when his eyes drifted towards her face. That wayward lock of hair had fallen in front of his ear, so she tucked it back again.
“Do you know where you are?”
“Mmh...no, don’t know,” He replied.
“We’re in a forest, my Lord,” Jaken blurted.
Sesshoumaru shook his head. He rubbed the inner corners of his eyes with a thumb and forefinger. Somehow, he managed it without poking himself with his sharp claws.
“A forest...”
“Yes, a forest!”
A loud sigh flared Sesshoumaru’s nostrils. Kagome mirrored it. Jaken meant well, but she could see Sesshoumaru starting to bristle.
She forced a smile, trying to distract him. “It’s okay. You’re really confused right now.”
Sesshoumaru ran a hand over the top of his head and lowered that same hand to pinch her shoulder.
“Flowers.”
“Ouch! Y-yeah, it’s a pattern on my clothing. They aren’t real.”
He stopped pinching her. “Oh.”
Kagome rubbed her shoulder when he moved his hand. “Your clothes have flowers too, see?” She showed him the bellflower patterns on the end of his right sleeve, but he wasn’t interested anymore. Instead, he fixed his eyes on Jaken, which caused the little green guy to freeze.
“You aren’t a flower,” He said.
Rin doubled over in laughter, which caused her to drop Kagome’s full backpack in the grass. She covered her mouth when she snorted, but there was no muffling her squeaky guffawing. Sesshoumaru transferred his gaze onto her.
And smiled.
Kagome had never seen the legendary Lord of the West crack a smile before, so its fangy brilliance almost knocked her over. She couldn’t believe it. He had dimples!
She took a picture with her phone. A sweet moment like that needed to be kept forever. His smile was gone by the time she pocketed her phone in the shorts she wore under her scrubs. It occurred to her that she could’ve recorded the seizure to show to him later, but videography wasn’t her priority at the time. She cast the thought aside. Maybe it was better if he didn’t see himself like that.
“Do you know who she is?” Kagome asked, gesturing at Rin.
“Rin,” Sesshoumaru replied without hesitation.
“Who am I?”
“Priestess. Kagome.”
“What about him?” She indicated Jaken.
“Jaken.”
“You recognize me again?” Jaken wrung his hands at the sound of his name. “M’Lord?”
Sesshoumaru scratched himself behind the ear, nodded and hung his head.
“Sesshoumaru?”
“Yes?”
“Do you know where you are?”
He sighed heavily. “Forest clearing.”
Rin tiptoed past his back to place his swords with his furry pelt. She glanced up for approval.
Kagome nodded and picked up the white one. “What’s this?”
“Sword. Bakusaiga.”
She exhaled in relief. He recognized the object and its given name. Excellent.
“Okay, Sesshoumaru, can you tell me what two plus two is?”
“It’s four.” His words still slurred, but less so than before. “Why the questions?”
“I sure am asking a lot of them, aren’t I? Sorry. I know it’s annoying. I’m making sure you’re alert enough to stay safe.”
Sesshoumaru shot her one of his blank looks— one that might have been chilling if his eyes focused.
Then he grasped his obi and tugged enough to untie the elaborate bow. The movement was clumsy and heavy, like his hands were lead weights.
Kagome leaned back, “Um, what are you doing?”
Sesshoumaru’s nostrils flared and a vexed frown creased his brow. He let the obi fall, pulled a cord above his right hip and his entire piece of armor swung open and thudded on the ground. Afterward, he rose slowly onto his feet. Other than a slight wobble, he kept his balance. His right side was soaking wet from halfway up his chest all the way down to his outer thigh.
“I must bathe and clean my clothing.”
Fully aware Sesshoumaru would never let something like that slip! Kagome’s face flushed on his behalf. Voiding of the bladder and bowels wasn’t uncommon during or after a tonic clonic seizure. She decided his armor and voluminous clothing were a good thing; she couldn’t tell until he took his armor off.
Jaken’s ears went tomato red. He covered them and shut his eyes tightly. “I’m going to pretend I never saw that.”
“Good idea. Umm...” Kagome figured Sesshoumaru was cognizant enough to bathe himself. “Let’s get you over to the river. Rin?” She peeked over her shoulder, “Go back to the village and get a big blanket, some rags and a drying cloth.”
“Okay!” Rin waved and trotted into the foliage. Crackling rustles trailed her progress until she was beyond hearing range.
“Psst! What about me?” Jaken whispered.
“You can bring his clothes to me after he takes them off. Go back to him afterward keep an eye on him while he’s bathing.” Kagome rummaged in her bag for her shampoo bottle. “He can use this to wash himself.”
Jaken took the bottle, looked between her and Sesshoumaru and let a raspy sigh blow out through his mouth. Sesshoumaru was already making his way to the river. His gait was unsteady, but inexorable. Jaken needed to sprint to catch up.
“My Lord! Wait! I’m coming!”
Kagome exhaled a loud sigh of her own and rubbed the back of her neck. She shrugged her scrubs off, leaving herself in just her jean shorts and a plain white shirt with little cap sleeves.
Fifteen minutes later, she and Rin worked together to wash Sesshoumaru’s clothes in another part of the same river. The stains hadn’t had time to set, so they came out fairly easily. Rin said only the bloodstained tail end of his fluffy pelt needed cleaning, which cut the washing time in half.
A while later, Kagome returned to the clearing to string a clothesline and hang Sesshoumaru’s clean clothes up where he could find them later.
She found Sesshoumaru sitting against a tree with an enormous brown, yellow and white quilt wrapped around himself. Her mom made it for her to keep her warm when she journeyed into the Sengoku Jidai. His wet bangs clung to each other. The damp length of his silver hair fell all over one shoulder and spilled onto his lap. Afternoon sunbeams filtered through the trees and dappled across his face like freckles made of light. The white shampoo bottle she lent him was tucked against her yellow backpack along with the rags and cloths he used to wash himself and dry off.
Jaken crouched nearby. He was only dozing, and cracked open an eye at Kagome’s approach.
She raised a finger to her mouth to shush him and whispered, “His clothes should be dry before sunset.”
Jaken nodded, crossing his arms tighter.
Sesshoumaru opened his eyes when Kagome unzipped her bag.
“Sorry,” She whispered, “did I wake you up?”
“I wasn’t asleep yet,” Sesshoumaru murmured. His golden eyes had regained their sharp focus, yet they still drooped with exhaustion. He poked a bare arm out of the quilt to pull his huge pelt closer, arranged it in a circle with the wet end pushed aside and moved over to sit at its center.
“Still, sorry.” Kagome dug in her backpack for her stethoscope. Once she found it, she rubbed the chest piece and earpieces down with an alcohol wipe. Decontamination habits were as automatic to her as breathing.
“This is a stethoscope. I use it to listen to what’s happening inside your body. Is it okay if I listen to your lungs?”
Sesshoumaru did that quirky canine head tilt again, albeit less pronounced than before. “Why do you think it’s necessary?”
She knelt in front of him. “Do you remember what happened earlier?”
“I fell to my father’s curse again. Jaken told me what transpired when I was incoherent.”
The way he turned his head while still looking at her through the corner of his eye caught her off guard. As if he wanted to look away in embarrassment without appearing submissive.
“Right. Don’t worry, I’m not here to judge you about that.” Kagome indicated the stethoscope. “You inhaled a little bit of saliva when you collapsed. I want to make sure you coughed it up.”
“My breathing is fine.”
“I’m sure it is.” She sighed, rubbed the side of her neck and cracked a half smile. “Okay, I admit it, it’s for my own peace of mind. I’m a nurse...a healer, of sorts. It’s my duty to make sure people are as healthy and comfortable as they can be. Especially after something like that.”
Faint amusement tilted Sesshoumaru’s tired eyes. He shrugged and let the quilt slip off his shoulders to bare his toned upper body. The maroon stripes on his cheeks repeated themselves on his hips. There was no hair on his torso except for a silver treasure trail leading from just beneath his belly button to below the blanket that covered his lap.
Once again, Kagome’s nurse training helped her veil her reaction behind an air of professionalism. Besides, it would be weird if she gawked too much at her extremely attractive brother in law. She glanced at the stethoscope she almost forgot she held.
“Uh...I’m going to start at the front, then move to your back and finish on your side.”
At his nod, she positioned the diaphragm over the first intercostal space on the right side of his chest. “Take in a nice, slow deep breath and let it out.”
Sesshoumaru’s chest rose and fell. The airflow was perfect. Kagome slid the stethoscope to the left and he drew another breath without her having to ask. She shifted lower onto the tops of his left and right pectoral muscles. Then, just below his nipples, and finally she arrived at his seventh intercostal spaces.
He sounded clear all the way down.
Off to the side, Jaken tipped over. He was sound asleep. Poor little guy.
Kagome refocused on the task at hand. “Okay, now lean forward and I’ll listen to your back.”
Sesshoumaru flinched ever so faintly when he shifted positions. She scooted beside him and reached around to place the chest piece near the hardness of his scapula.
“There we go. Nice breath in and out.”
Once more, the smoothness of clear lungs graced her ears. She repeated the stepladder approach on his back until she reached his posterior seventh intercostal space.
“Now I’m going to listen on the sides.”
“Why the sides?”
Kagome paused. “Lungs are complicated organs. I can tell where you’re having a problem based on where the stethoscope is when I hear it.”
“Hn...”
Kagome laid the chest piece slightly below his left armpit and had him take a breath. Again, beautifully clear. She listened at his fifth, then his seventh intercostal spaces. Zero problems whatsoever.
Sesshoumaru’s eyes fluttered shut and sprang back open as she placed the stethoscope against his right side.
“Almost done.”
Kagome finished and put the stethoscope away after giving it a quick wipe with an alcohol pad.
“Good news, your lungs are fine.”
Sesshoumaru turned his head and yawned, inadvertently showing the jagged red bite marks on his tongue and the pinkish white scrapes on the insides of his lips. He rubbed at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “I could have told you that. Why the concern?”
“You can’t fault a nurse for being a nurse,” Kagome said back. “Besides, inhaling things like spit and dirt can make you sick.”
He squinted. “If you are so versed in how bodies function, then you can tell me how to lift this curse, can you not?”
His sleepy, blinking eyes were watering. If she answered now, he wouldn't stay awake long enough to hear her. She pulled the blanket back up over his shoulders.
“Sleep first. I’ll explain everything to you la— oof!”
Kagome threw her arms around Sesshoumaru’s neck when he suddenly tipped forward against her. His head crashed onto her shoulder. Wow, he had a hard, heavy skull.
If someone had told her the chilling demon she saw standing on the shoulder of a titan was going to fall asleep in her arms years later, she would’ve laughed at them. Time changed so much.
“I would be exhausted too,” Kagome murmured.
He snored ever so softly. She couldn’t resist stroking his soft, satiny silver hair. It was so fine and perfect, the strands hardly tangled together. The apple scent of her shampoo wafted off it. She was delighted to know he actually used it.
Sighing, she kissed the crescent moon on his brow, cradled his head on her forearm and eased him to lay on his side amid the circle created by his fluffy pelt. Her movements didn’t incite a single response. He breathed deeply from his diaphragm, just like he did immediately after his seizure, only now it was without the danger of choking on his own saliva. She tucked the one rebellious lock of hair behind his ear, scooted the quilt up to cover his shoulder better and gently nudged Jaken awake.
“Eh?” Jaken grumbled, yawning,
“Let’s let Sesshoumaru sleep. He should be okay now. C’mon, Rin is waiting for us and I told her I was going to explain what you saw.”
Jaken glanced Sessboumaru’s way, nodded and uncurled from his spot in the grass. He followed Kagome back into the village.
Once there, Kagome sat him down with Rin and explained everything to them over a hearty fish lunch.
“What you saw earlier is called a seizure, and the reason Sesshoumaru had it is...”
o0o
“Epilepsy,” Kagome said.
It was the tail end of dusk. She, Rin, Jaken and Sesshoumaru had gathered again in the clearing by the glimmering orange light of a campfire.
Sesshoumaru was redressed in his fine silks, fur and armor. The threads in his red and white kimono shimmered slightly in the firelight. He still looked and acted exhausted, but he seemed more alert than before. That post ictal nap did him a world of good.
Kagome hesitated when he frowned. “Epilepsy is what it’s called in my time. Maybe you know it here as the ‘the sacred disease’ or ‘the falling sickness.’”
That sparked recognition. He inclined his head, his tired golden eyes clear and focused once more. “Does having this e-pil-ep-sy, as you call it, mean I am ill?” Even quieter, he asked, “Is it contagious? Will Rin collapse from it?”
Jaken looked up, mouth open, and Kagome almost heard him wondering why he wasn’t mentioned in Sesshoumaru’s inquiry.
“Um...no.” She shook her head, “It’s not an illness you can catch or transmit to anyone. It’s not really an illness at all. It’s a condition that can affect humans, demons and animals.”
Sesshoumaru’s posture relaxed slightly. “Go on.”
Kagome tapped on her own forehead. She explained seizures to Inuyasha a couple years ago. Then she spent all afternoon today breaking it down again for Rin and Jaken. If she got Inuyasha, then later Rin and Jaken to grasp it, then she knew Sesshoumaru wasn’t going to be difficult.
“Your brain is an organ that’s full of electricity, but the electricity is so small that you can’t see the flashes. Everything you do in life causes electricity to shoot through certain parts of your brain. Your brain has areas that tell you how to talk and allow you to understand what your senses are telling you. It tells your body when you’re hungry, when to digest food and when to relieve yourself. Your ability to fight, strategize and dodge? Electricity. Electricity happens when you turn your head and blink your eyes. It lets you dream and imagine. You know if you need to sleep or wake up because of the electricity in your brain. Your thoughts and memories are electricity. Pain is electricity, so is pleasure. Everything you do and experience is from the electricity going on in your brain right now. But, here’s the thing, those tiny lightning strikes have to happen in a specific pattern for your brain to do what you need it to do.”
Sesshoumaru twitched an eyebrow when she paused. She took it as a cue to keep talking.
“When somebody has a seizure, the lightning in their brain starts striking uncontrollably. It’s a huge surge of too much electricity all at once. Sometimes the storm stays in one spot in the brain, and sometimes it spreads until other areas start creating too much electricity, too. Remember how I said everything you experience is electricity? The normal way you experience the world is disrupted when the electricity in your brain isn’t behaving like it’s supposed to. For some people, that means they feel a bit dizzy or strange and then they’re fine. For other people, there is a loss or change in consciousness.”
“Sei-zure,” Sesshoumaru sounded it out slowly. “If that is so, how does this...sei-zure...affect me, specifically?”
“I can’t tell you exactly where it starts in your brain without the right kind of equipment, but I know what kind of seizure you’re having and what’s happening in your brain when you have one.”
Rin leaned forward with her elbows on her knees and her chin resting on her palms. The campfire flickered, making her eyes look darker than usual. Next to her, Jaken folded his hands into his sleeves with a quiet huff.
Sesshoumaru remained statue still, his blinking eyes and breathing chest the only indicators that he wasn’t part of the tree behind him.
Kagome’s white priestess robe appeared orange next to the flames. She inhaled a whiff of woodsmoke and spread her hands.
“Your type of seizure is called a focal to bilateral tonic clonic seizure. Focal means it’s in one area. Bilateral means both sides of something. The tonic phase of the seizure is when your body stiffens up, and the clonic phase is the jerking.” She waited for him to arch his brow again before she went on. “The electricity starts misfiring in a small area on one side of your brain and spreads across it to the other side. Everything you experience gets disrupted, especially movement, consciousness and memory.”
“And the stupor that follows it? What is the cause of that?”
Kagome tilted her head and brushed a strand of dark hair out of her face. She liked his questions, they made it so much easier to find the gaps in his knowledge.
“That’s called a post ictal state. Think of a forest after a fire. It doesn’t look much like a forest anymore, it takes time for rain, sunlight and nutrients to come back so everything grows back and balances out.”
It was more complicated than that, but Kagome wasn’t sure how to explain the complex post ictal changes in the brain without delving into neurotransmitters, hypoxia, hypoperfusion and hyperperfusion. That was a lot for someone a few hundred years behind the discovery of neurons, enzymes and ions.
She kept on talking, “And your seizures look like—”
“I know what they look like. My father had them, too, and frequently.” Sesshoumaru stared into the orange campfire and folded his hands in his sleeves. A sneer crinkled the bridge of his nose, there and gone like firefly flickers.
“He’s upset,” Rin whispered at Jaken.
“Of course he is!” Jaken hissed back.
On impulse, Kagome reached over and touched Sesshoumaru’s arm. She withdrew when he bristled ever so slightly.
“Be honest with me, Sesshoumaru, how often do you have seizures? Do they happen when you see lights flash or certain patterns? Is there anything you eat or come in contact with that leads to a seizure happening later?” She backpedaled briefly at the sight of him scowling, “I’m not blaming you for them. They’re not your fault. Hey, no, that’s not what that question meant. I’m trying to figure out what may be upsetting the electricity in your brain.”
The tension once again faded from his posture. Sighing, he closed his eyes.
“They happen less frequently now than in my childhood. The likelihood of an occurrence is higher when I don’t sleep properly. I always collapse after I’ve been ill, if I experience a strong emotion when I haven’t slept, or...” He opened his eyes again, one corner of his mouth curling upward in wry amusement, “...the day after I breathe in vast amounts of strong miasma.”
Those sounded like common triggers. Well, aside from the miasma. It also explained his flat affect. He had to restrain himself for his own safety.
Kagome watched Sesshoumaru rub his left forearm, the movement only visible by his elbow flexing. She winced inwardly when she considered what he went through the day after he entered Naraku’s miasma poisoned body four years ago.
And Sesshoumaru unknowingly confirmed it.
“This was the first one to strike me down in the past few years. One sleepless night, and it happens again. Tch!” He turned his face into the shadows. “The days after are terrible. My wits are still slow and my memory is unreliable. My emotions are unsettled. Things that I normally understand are muddled. Even thought is an effort.”
Kagome’s heart melted for him. She scooted closer and peered up at his eyes in the darkness. “That’s pretty normal after a seizure. You’re still recovering. Forest fire, remember? It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Sesshoumaru.”
The campfire gave his hair and orangish gold sheen that shifted whenever he moved his head.
“I managed to live this long without collapsing while in battle. What are the chances of it happening in the future?”
That was a question Kagome didn’t have an answer to. It hit her that Sesshoumaru probably wasn’t alive in her time, and it may have been because of a seizure, or because a seizure left him vulnerable to attack.
“I don’t have that answer. But— you know when you’re going to have a seizure, right? Jaken and Rin both mentioned that you send them away. Can you tell me exactly what you feel? Try to be as detailed as you can.”
He nodded once, glancing between Jaken and Rin.
“It begins with a sense of foreboding when there is no cause to feel that way. If I am asleep, it awakens me with a start. My heart races as if an attacker is about to ambush me. Immediately after that, I fall into an intense, uncontrollable despair. My chest will ache as if in grief. Then, as soon as the despair becomes unbearable, I smell brimstone. It is so overpowering that I am unable to smell anything else. My memory always ends on that scent.”
That was a perfect description of an aura before a seizure. Kagome nodded and smiled slightly to encourage him. “How long do you feel that way before your memory blanks?”
“The foreboding alerts me first, but only lasts a few moments. I’m not likely to notice it while dealing with an opponent. The despair is my clearest and longest warning. If it begins at sunrise I will smell brimstone by noontime. After that, I cannot speculate.”
Rin edged in, her voice soft, “So when you told us to go away and stay away until you came to find us, you were...?”
“Yes.” Sesshoumaru looked across the campfire at her. “Watching my father was distressing, and I wanted to spare you and Jaken.” Quieter still, he added, “I wanted to spare myself the shame.”
He stopped to reach up inside his sleeve and squeeze his right shoulder. His muscle soreness didn’t surprise Kagome in the least. Tonic clonic seizures put peoples’ bodies through hell.
“I’ll say it again,” Kagome leaned forward, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m a nurse, now. I see people have seizures where I work. I taught Jaken and Rin how to help if they’re with you when you have one, so you don’t have to hide it from them anymore when you feel one coming. Look, I know you went hundreds of years dealing with this alone, but now you don’t have to.”
Rin clapped her hands together as if praying over a meal. Her determined face lit up in a brilliant grin. “That’s right!”
“Mmhmm!” Jaken beamed, too. “Lady Kagome was very informative for a human.”
Kagome squinted at the little green imp, and he squinted right back.
Then Rin sprang into action.
“First, I’m supposed to take a deep breath, stay calm, make sure you’re safe and make sure the area is safe. You don’t fall down and tense up right away, so I have some time to help you get somewhere safe. You follow people if they hold your hand and walk. I have to take your swords off your hip and set them aside so you don’t cut yourself. Then I’m supposed to lead you to the safest spot in the middle of an open area like this clearing and help you sit down.”
She grabbed Jaken by his sleeve and pushed him over to lay on his side in the grass. Her hands smooshed half his face while he flailed and shrieked angrily in her grasp. Ironically, his flopping around demonstrated how difficult it was to keep a convulsing person on their side.
“Then, when you go into the seizure and shake, I’m supposed to start the stopwatch thingy Lady Kagome gave me. Then I have to turn you on your side like this and keep you there as much as I can until you start to move on your own again! I’m supposed to cushion your head with something if I can, but putting you on your side is the most important thing I have to do. And I’m NOT supposed to put anything in your mouth or try to stop your body from jerking because that can hurt you.”
“Mmph!” Jaken wheezed. “L-Lord Sesshoumaru, please make her stop!”
Sesshoumaru remained impassively quiet. Kagome knew he would have gotten up and walked away if anybody else put on such a silly display. But, because it was Rin, he stayed to watch the unfolding scene with an air of morbid fascination.
Unbothered, Rin patted Jaken’s head.
“Everything is okay as long as you don’t shake for more than five minutes, but I’m supposed to get Lady Kagome’s help if you shake for longer than five minutes, or if you start, stop and start again without waking up, because that’s stamping eucalyptus and that’s really bad.”
“Status epilepticus,” Kagome corrected her. She was pleased at how quickly the young girl had absorbed that knowledge.
“Aha! Sorry!” Rin sounded out the unfamiliar words. “Sta-tus e-pil-ep-tic-us.”
“W-will you get off me?!” Jaken wailed until Rin relinquished her hold on him.
Ignoring his posturing, Rin went on, “And then I have to keep watch over you until you can tell me what two plus two is, because that’s how I know you’re past the post ick...ick-tee...ic-tal! That’s the word. I have to watch you until you get past the post ictal state enough to protect yourself if something bad happens. Now, um, what else?”
“The clearing...” Kagome supplied her with a clue.
“Oh! The clearing!” Rin’s face lit up. She was so refreshingly excited to show off her knowledge. “Lord Sesshoumaru, you can come here if you think a seizure is going to happen. No more getting bruises and scratches all over your face.”
She planted her hands on her hips and grinned proudly. Beside her, Jaken scowled daggers as though his stare alone could turn her into stone.
“What she said,” He muttered. “Ugh, the things I put up with...”
Sesshoumaru shot Kagome a sidelong look and refocused on Rin and Jaken. His eyes twinkled a bit in veiled amusement. Then his gaze drifted towards the half lit forest canopy.
“I see...” He closed his eyes again and spoke softly, “Then I suppose I will be in your capable hands.”
“Anything to serve you, M’Lord.”
Then Rin yawned loudly, covering her mouth. “Sorry...I’m sleepy.”
Sesshoumaru looked over at them. “Rin, go back to the village and get some sleep. Jaken, go with Rin.”
Neither argued, and for that Kagome was grateful. Their footsteps stirred leaves and twigs until they became inaudible.
In a few moments Kagome was alone with Sesshoumaru.
He pulled one knee to his chest, straightened the other leg and tiredly rubbed the side of his face. The poor guy must have been waiting for some privacy to let his exhaustion show.
“Is Inuyasha plagued by these...seizures?”
Kagome sucked in a deep breath. “I’m not answering that. It’s out of respect for his privacy. I don’t intend to tell him about you unless he sees you have a seizure.”
“Fair enough.” Sesshoumaru exhaled through his nose tilted his head. “Kagome.”
“Hm?”
“Why are some people prone to epilepsy and not others?”
“Well...” Kagome hugged her knees against her chest and dropped fresh sticks into the flickering fire. Sap caused it to crackle and spit. “Sometimes, it’s caused by an injury to the brain, which can happen if you hit your head really hard or have something small go through it. That damages the brain tissue and disrupts the electricity. Sometimes people’s brains do weird things as they grow up, and scar tissue forms. Scar tissue can disrupt the electricity. And sometimes you’re born with it because you inherited it from one or both of your parents. Sometimes you just get it for no reason. Your brain can look fine, but it just...does that...and nobody knows why.”
She saw a little twitch in his eyebrows. He stared harder at the fire, as if his gaze alone could transform it into whatever thoughts crossed his mind.
“Epilepsy is a complex disorder that manifests in so many ways. I would be here all night trying to list every single one of them, and that’s without using modern terminology. To put it simply, there are more kinds of seizures than the type you had, and those can depend on what kind of epilepsy somebody has.”
“But you said a seizure disrupts everything.”
“It does for you. Focal onset seizures stay in one area of the brain. Generalized onset seizures affect the whole brain. Focal to bilateral seizures are seizures that start out as focal and spread to the rest of the brain. Like I said, that’s what you have.”
The frown he shot her suggested she lost him, so she backed up.
“Okay, try this. There are two types of focal seizures. Focal aware seizures, and focal unaware seizures— sometimes they’re called focal dyscognitive seizures. You follow?”
He nodded.
She smiled, holding out both hands. “Focal aware seizures don’t affect your consciousness. You stay awake and aware, but you might experience sensory hallucinations, weird sensations in your body, dizziness, confusion, a feeling like an unfamiliar place is weirdly familiar, or the opposite. You might get a weird twitch in your chin or a tingling in your toes. Maybe you smell something that isn’t really there. You might seem drunk or behave impulsively. It depends on what spot in your brain is affected. I could sit here all night explaining every which way they happen. The point is, you’re fully aware, you remember what happened and can report it during or after the seizure.”
Sesshoumaru pursed his lips. “Then I am correct in the assumption that focal unaware seizures alter consciousness?”
“Mmhmm! You look awake, but you act weird. In your case, it’s like your ability to think and reason disappear. I talked to you by asking questions, and you only repeated one word out of every sentence instead of answering me. You did a lot of this, too...”
She demonstrated his blank stare and chewing motions for him. “Some people can remember it vaguely, but a lot don’t because their memory gets all mixed up.”
Understanding flickered across his face. “Interesting.”
Kagome liked how quickly he was picking up the info. “Now, listen, because it gets a little bit more complicated. Seizures, regardless of awareness levels, can be broken down into motor and non-motor seizures. Motor seizures cause movement, even if it’s just twitching in your fingers or eyelids. Non-motor seizures mean all movement stops. You with me?”
“I think so...” Sesshoumaru arched a brow. “Go on.”
“The feelings you experience before your memory breaks off are part of your whole seizure. The anxiety, sadness and brimstone smell are a focal aware seizure that alerts you to what’s coming. When that happens, it’s called an aura. A small part of your brain is starting to misfire. Then you go into the focal unaware part of the seizure, which is when the electricity is spreading. Then you finally have the tonic clonic when your whole brain is lit up with disorganized signals.”
The narrowing of his eyes told her he was taking in what she said and digesting it. His eyelids drooped; the post ictal exhaustion hadn’t yet relinquished its hold on him.
“In essence, the strange emotions and scents are the spark, the point where my consciousness fades is a flame, and the shaking of my body is the forest burning?”
“Exactly!” Kagome gave him a thumbs up. She nudged his arm gently with her elbow. “I know it’s not much comfort, but getting that little spark— an aura —is a good thing. You’re not caught totally unaware.”
Sesshoumaru flung a stick into the campfire like a dart. It happened so fast that Kagome hardly realized he’d moved until he clasped his hands on top of his bent knee. His voice was icy when he asked, “How am I fortunate when I still collapse?”
Kagome almost regretted saying that. She sighed to herself and watched a few embers drift up into the darkness.
“It’s the difference between you being able to retreat to safety to have a seizure instead of having one in the middle of a fight and being killed while you can’t defend yourself.”
Again, he winced and rotated his ankle. “Your point is well taken.”
They were quiet for a long while. The fire crackled. Kagome pondered the seams in her sleeves. Sesshoumaru watched the flames. Somewhere far off, crickets chirped.
“Do you have any more questions?” Kagome asked.
The response didn’t come right away. Then Sesshoumaru nudged the silence apart.
“How is epilepsy discovered in a person?”
Kagome hugged her knees. This was probably the longest conversation they ever had. Too bad they were using it to discuss this instead of a lighter, more entertaining subject.
“It’s easy in your case, the type of seizure you had is unmistakable, and you have a history of them. You would still have to take a lot of tests for a diagnosis in my time, just to be sure. For less obvious seizures, we do a lot of tests to rule out other medical issues first, because seizures can feel like other medical problems and we need to make sure it’s not something else. When everything else is ruled out, we do something called an electroencephalogram. It’s a machine that measures the electricity in your brain.”
She pointed to the top of her head. “They stick a bunch of little suction cups to your head and wire you to the machine. The information appears on paper or a screen, and it looks like a bunch of spiky, wavy lines that change when something isn’t normal. Epilepsy isn’t the only seizure disorder there is, but non-epileptic seizures don’t show up on an EEG, and they usually look different from epileptic seizures.”
Sesshoumaru’s mouth twitched in a wry smile. There and gone like lightning.
“I’m not sure I understand what you said...but I found it interesting...” He sighed, his voice trailing off. His mind was drifting, likely another post ictal artifact. “Flowers...when did I see flowers today?”
“Hm? What kind of flowers?”
“I’m not certain. It’s a vague memory. They were near something purple.”
“I was wearing my purple floral print scrubs when I helped you. Could that be what you’re thinking of?”
“Perhaps.”
“Is there anything else you remember?”
“I recall that you spoke to me, but I have no recollection of what you said. And I felt something else...”
Kagome leaned in, trying to silently urge him into completing his thought.
He pursed his lips, frowned and inhaled slowly through his nose.
“Redamancy.”
With that, Sesshoumaru closed his eyes and fell silent again. Kagome’s heart flip flopped in her chest. She resisted the urge to lean over and squeeze him in a hug. Admissions like that weren’t easy for him.
Wind rustled the tree above them and sent the fire into flickering undulations. Crickets chirped and frogs croaked. Somewhere far off, an owl hooted.
Just when Kagome thought Sesshoumaru had dozed off, he spoke again, “I do not want to be treated as if I’m fragile or ill.”
She blinked. “Is that what you're upset about?”
He avoided her gaze. Insecurity wasn’t something she expected to flash across his face as a micro expression, yet there it was. It gleamed along the edges of his gilded eyes.
“You watched me scream, shake, soil myself and attempt to eat my own vomit like an uncivilized animal.”
“Sesshoumaru, your brain did something you had no control over.”
“Exactly. You know that because you are a healer. Someone less knowledgeable will think less of me, or worse— pity me.”
Kagome wiped a frustrated hand through her hair. “Hey, look at me.”
As soon as he did, she continued, “Does this look like the face of somebody pitying you?”
He scoffed and rolled his eyes. If he’d been Inuyasha, she would’ve bonked him over the head with her fist for that.
“Look, if you think seeing you have a seizure erases my image of you as the most powerful demon I know, think again.”
She didn’t miss how Sesshoumaru’s eyes lit up ever so slightly. He ran both hands over his hair and smoothed it behind his ears. Oh, her compliment had him preening. She barely suppressed a triumphant giggle.
“If you insist.” His amused expression congealed into an icy glare. ”So, are you going to tell Inuyasha about this?”
A memory lapse. Kagome mentally made a note of that.
“No, not unless he sees you having a seizure.“
Sesshoumaru huffed contemptuously. “That is something you will never have to worry about.” And quietly, he added, “But I agree to those terms.”
He exhaled noisily through his nose and rubbed his forehead, his long, clawed fingers mussing up the parted bangs framing his crescent moon marking. They flopped back into their proper place like magic when he swept that hand down the side of his face and let it drop back onto his knee.
By then, the fire was gradually shrinking. The flames were dancing around charred bits of wood that resembled tiny canyons surrounded by hellish glowing orange.
Kagome rose onto her knees and handed Sesshoumaru the blanket he used to cover himself after bathing. “Here, you should stay the night. You need the extra sleep.”
Sesshoumaru set the blanket aside and settled back against the tree. She patted his hand. It was warm despite the chilly night air.
He turned his hand over to grasp hers as she moved to leave. She paused, both shocked by the unusual gesture and curious about why.
“Thank you,” said Sesshoumaru.
Kagome couldn’t help herself. She bent and kissed the top of his head. When dry, his hair was soft like fur.
“You’re welcome.”
He morphed his wide eyed surprise into a scowl in record time. She giggled at his struggle to maintain his unemotional demeanor.
“What? You’re my brother in law. It’s my duty to ruffle you up once in a while.”
“That’s a problem. I find I cannot retaliate properly.”
“Why’s that?”
His stoic face produced the most devilish grin she had ever seen in her life. It was gorgeous and full of terrifying fangs. He ran his tongue across his front teeth and dropped his voice low, “You would not survive it.”
Then it was gone, swept away by his usual aloof expression as if it never happened. He gazed up at her from the corner of his eye while she gasped for the breath he shocked out of her lungs.
That was his retaliation.
Kagome, an experienced older sister, knew when to surrender. He won...this time.
“Good night.” She curtsied playfully, gathered her backpack and left him alone in the clearing.
o0o
The next morning, Kagome ensured Jaken took the stopwatch when he departed for the forest and made a mental note to get another one for Rin. Sesshoumaru had already stopped by to bid Rin farewell and return the quilt. Unfortunately, his visit coincided with Kagome being away to pick fresh fruit for breakfast. She watched the little green demon scamper up the path with plaintive shouts to wait. Sesshoumaru kept walking, his head high and his steps so smooth he almost floated. He did not look back.
“Keh, good riddance. They stink.”
Kagome faced the roguish silver haired figure in red standing on her roof. “Well, well, how did the hunt with Miroku go?”
Inuyasha grinned, all fangs, he looked more like his brother than he realized. “We got ‘em. It was crow demons.”
“Great!” She set down her basket of fruit and beckoned him to her side.
He obliged without complaint. “Okay, seriously. Did something happen? Sesshoumaru’s scent was weird. He smelled like a fight and...you. Did he try to start something?”
“Oh, that.” Kagome waved a hand dramatically, “No. No fights with me. He showed up with demon guts stuck in his hair. He was pretty annoyed about the stink, so I let him use my apple shampoo to get the smell off. I don’t think he liked that smell any better, but it got the guts off him.”
Thankfully, Inuyasha bought her story. She hated to lie to him, but she wasn’t about to place Sesshoumaru’s dignity in his younger brother’s hands. Besides, she preferred seeing Inuyasha laugh about shampoo over the alternative.
“I’m almost sorry I missed it. Sesshoumaru covered in guts, heh! Kinda wish they were his own after I wiped Tetsusaiga clean with his pelt.”
Kagome rolled her eyes. “You would.”
Inuyasha leaned his head back to sniff the air. He rested a hand over his abdomen and slid it upward to rub his throat while he sneered at the sky.
“Ugh...damn it, either somebody’s burning hair or I’m... ugh, never mind, it’s me.”
Inuyasha’s seizures were easy to miss if he didn’t mention them. Nobody besides Kagome knew they happened at all, and she promised to keep it between them unless a bigger, more noticeable one occurred. So far, that hadn’t happened.
Emotions didn’t set his off, but beyond that his triggers were eerily identical to Sesshoumaru’s.
Kagome faced him when the hand on his throat shifted to cover his mouth. She scooted the basket aside with her foot and drew him into a hug. His heart hammered like it wanted to beat its way out of his chest to reach hers.
Tetsusaiga isn’t the only thing you inherited from your dad. What you don’t know is your brother inherited this, too.
She rubbed his shoulders in a circular pattern. “Take some deep breaths.”
“I hate this,” Inuyasha muttered. His chest rose and fell as he sucked in a lungful of air through his nose and exhaled again.
Her arms tightened their hold. She whispered into his hair, “I know, but it’ll pass.”
He took another full breath. The pounding in his chest slowed until his heart reached its resting rate once more. It was over, just like that.
“There.” She kissed his slightly salty cheek. “Those crows kept you up all night, didn’t they?”
“Mmhmm, sure did. Neither me nor Miroku got any sleep with them flapping and squawking around us.” Inuyasha scratched lightly at her back with his sharp nails. His way of teasing her.
She buried her nose in the soft warmth of his fire rat robe and closed her eyes. He smelled like dust.
“Maybe I can hug the tired out of you.”
“Did you really miss me that much?” Inuyasha rumbled in her ear.
“Mmhmm,” She blushed at the fanged smirk awaiting her when she stepped back. “Let’s have breakfast. Rin already has a fire going.”
Inuyasha grabbed the basket. “I never thought Sesshoumaru would stoop low enough to smell like a girl.”
Great mood, snuffed. He was unfortunately talented at that.
Kagome promised Sesshoumaru that she wouldn’t treat him like glass because she was so used to not doing it to Inuyasha.
“Ugh. Lower? Really?” She snatched back the basket.
Reality dawned in Inuyasha's golden eyes when she kissed his cheek and stepped away.
“SIT!”
“Oh, sh—“ Inuyasha hit the ground face first. He landed on thick grass, so it wouldn’t hurt too much.
Satisfied, Kagome continued into the hut and swore she would make it up to him later.
Rin giggled. “Did he say something stupid again?”
“Yup. Sesshoumaru has more manners than Inuyasha ever will.”
“I heard that!” Inuyasha muffled from outside.
Rin looked at Kagome. Kagome looked back at her. They both laughed.
And life carried on.
o0o
END
o0o
Epilepsy is a very complex condition that takes many forms and affects each person a little differently. This story only brings a tiny taste of awareness to it.
Seizure terminology is changing as more is learned about epilepsy. Tonic clonic seizures used to be called grand mal seizures, focal aware seizures used to be called simple partials, focal unaware seizures used to be called complex partials, and focal to bilateral tonic clonic seizures used to be called secondary generalized seizures.
Visit the link to learn more about different types of seizures:
https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/types-seizures
This is the specific type of epilepsy Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha and their late father would be diagnosed with if they had access to modern medicine:
https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/types-epilepsy-syndromes/temporal-lobe-epilepsy-aka-tle
TLE is not usually inheritable, but I’m playing with that because demons are different than humans. Sesshoumaru’s seizures have a weird and prolonged progression because he’s not human. Inuyasha’s seizures are less severe and closer to what humans experience because he’s half human.
An epileptic seizure is usually not a medical emergency unless it’s the first seizure they ever had in their life, the person is injured, the seizure lasts more than five minutes, or they have another seizure before they recover from the first one.
Seizures come in many forms that can mimic other health issues. Epilepsy is often diagnosed through a process of elimination. Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha can’t go seek a diagnosis or treatment because of the time period they’re in.
If you suspect you may have epilepsy, seek a professional.
This fic is dedicated to my little brother.