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Only Human by susie

I Need Survival Skills For My Survival Skills

A/N:  Thanks so much for the reviews you guys!  You sure know how to keep a girl motivated.  Enjoy! 


Kagome pushed her most trepedatious thoughts to the rear of her consciousness as she stripped herself beside the immobile lord.  Time was of the essence, and she refused to let her maidenly qualms endanger the life of her on-again off-again ally. 

Momentum aided her in continuing with her task.  Once she began removing clothing, adrenaline propelled her forward, not to mention the bite of the cold.  Once she was undressed, she would be able to join him in the sleeping bag and start warming them both.  Though he was absolutely the priority. 

She peeled off her final layer of clothing, exposing herself to the elements, and stretched them out to join Sesshoumaru’s attire on the cave’s ground. 

She entered the bag quickly, though still very cautiously.  Her goal was to hopefully get him healthy enough to come to, but her nerves were on edge at what he might do once he did. 

She gently stretched herself over him, trying not to cause him any discomfort, or worse, startle him awake.  She fought the urge to recoil as she felt the effects of the harsh winter storm on his now human body. 

Nipples hardened immediately at the intimate feel of his freezing skin against hers, and at the contact, she held herself still.  Her own skin was reduced to gooseflesh the instant it was exposed to Sesshoumaru; and she clenched as she melded herself against him, attempting to will her body to transfer its heat through osmosis.   

She could ignore the absurdity of the situation, but not the danger.  Fear of what he might do when he woke up kept her deathly still.  But after a long moment, a moment in which he hadn’t moved a muscle, she allowed herself to relax, if only slightly. 

She grabbed onto his shoulders and pressed her cheek to his chest.  His heartbeat was much easier to detect now, and she saw it as progress.  She had begun trembling slightly, likely more on account of the temperature than her fear, and she started to finally move as she got used to their position. 

She anxiously took the flats of her hands and smoothed them over the soft, stripeless skin of his upper arms.  She allowed them to travel experimentally down to his wrists and back, and repeated the motion several times.   

She ventured up his chest, to his neck, and ran her calloused palms over the hardened peaks of his nipples.  She let each hand linger on top of them a moment, looking for some positive sign that her efforts were helping.  She waited for them to soften, but the pebbles remained rigid under her touch.   

She rubbed her palms in circles, rolling each point under them a moment more, before deciding to venture onward. 

As she let her arms travel the expanse of his upper body, she was amazed at the hardness of his form.  Certainly, the unforgiving temperatures he had been forced to endure would have caused his muscles to tighten over; not that he appeared to need much aid in adding rigidity.  He felt like he looked; as if he was sculpted from marble, or some other cold stone.  But his unresponsive figure appeared deceptive in contrast to the tension of his body. 

Every inch of him was ice to her touch, and she reacted to the glaring knowledge by using her hands to quickly cause friction by rubbing him over at a faster pace. 

She had heard Inuyasha call him ‘the ice prince’ on more than once occasion, but this gave the nickname a whole new meaning.  And despite his new found vulnerability, she couldn’t avoid feeling awkward... or scared. 

His smooth features beneath her hands often gave way to recently scarred and broken skin.  Some of these wounds would need to be tended to soon after he regained consciousness.  If he did.  And if she survived the process. 

His damaged features were more jarring now that she was this close.  And she forced herself to focus on that aspect, instead of the fact that she was naked, and effectively squirming on top of him.  

His mangled face appeared to be the worst of it, but she now noticed the rest of his body harbored brutal wounds as well.  Bruises, abrasions and gashes littered his lean form, and she took note of the deep cuts that may eventually become infected.  A particularly grisly wound on his shoulder captivated her attention, and she drew her fingers over it in a feather light, appraising touch. 

What had happened to him?  Who could have done this?  And why? 

And more importantly, why did he appear to be a human?   

‘How could a full-blooded demon like Sesshoumaru be reduced to such a state?  What could have possibly transformed him-’ 

She stilled her rubbing of him a moment as terror suddenly washed over her.  ‘Oh, no!’ 


Kagome was alone in the woods, searching for the herbs that could ease Inuyasha’s pain.  Thanks to a visit from Sesshoumaru, the hanyou was with her friends back at the hut nursing some very serious battle wounds. 

She begged him for mercy once Inuyasha was on the brink of death, and was actually surprised that he had halted his assault on her friend. 

He startled her when he let his gaze slide her way.  She was relieved she could distract him from his terrible deeds, but she wondered in that moment if he had elected to turn his ire on her for interrupting.   

But Sesshoumaru had a way of cutting his opponent down without ever drawing his sword.  His mouth often proved to be just as formidable a weapon. 

‘The only thing more pathetic than a hanyou is any weak human that claims to love them.’ 

She was relieved when he left, though it hardly eclipsed the pain she felt.  She winced at the insult.  But instead of responding to his retreating form, she gathered the battered hanyou into her arms as she did her best to comfort him. 

She cringed at the memory, and began to shake with rage. 

It was easy for him to say!  Someone like him could never know what it felt like to be inadequate.  To be lacking in anything.  He was, by all outward appearances, perfect.  Until he opened his mouth, that is.  He probably never had a difficult day in his whole life... until she released Inuyasha from the tree. 

She smiled at the thought.  How humbling it must have been to lose his arm to his half breed brother.  Couldn’t have happened to anyone more deserving.  It was still too good for him.  For all the pain he caused the one she loved, he was sure due some come uppance. 

But it didn’t seem like he would ever get it.  Despite his setbacks, he was only getting stronger.  He would never have to endure what the rest of them did.  He would ride the coattails of his superior heritage for the rest of his long life.  The universe was so unfair.  

“I wish Sesshoumaru knew what it was really like to be a human.” 

At the utterance, the completed jewel around her neck glowed fantastically bright for a brief moment, before fading back to its former self. 

Her word choice hadn’t occurred to her, and she paused curiously to see what had her jewel behaving so strangely. 

She waited for something to happen, but nothing appeared to change.  Must’ve been reacting to her anger, she surmised. 

“That was weird,” she thought aloud, but dwelled no more on it, as the herb she had been searching for finally appeared in the brush.  She grabbed several large fistfuls of the plant, and made her way back to the hut. 

A barely perceptible whine from his throat startled her from her memory.  It sounded nothing like him.  She couldn’t tell what his voice now sounded like, but it the animalistic tint to his language appeared to be affected by the change.  Could he even growl now?  She was certain he had never before been capable of a whimper. 

But she took the noise as a good sign.  He must be warming a bit.  His chest and arms were accumulating heat, but his legs against hers were still ice cold.  She scissored them with his and bent them to cause more friction, but it wasn’t good enough.  Resigning herself, she moved lower, purposely avoiding his mid-section, and used her hands to rub up and down his toned lower limbs. 

When she crossed to the bottom of the sleeping bag, her efforts to grant him a measure of privacy had faltered. 

She hadn’t meant to look.  But she couldn’t deny that she was curious.  She had never seen a naked man before, and she definitely hadn’t expected her first glimpse would be an unconscious former demon who had tried to kill her more than once. 

But her first ever look at a man’s penis brought something else to light.  She had been intentionally neglecting very important parts of his body, and guilt rushed through her when she realized what it meant for him.  In trying to preserve her modesty, as much as she could in this situation, it appeared she may be putting him in danger.  What she saw gave the term blue balls a whole new meaning.   

The rest of him was warming up, but she had ignored certain parts of his anatomy.  Not just for her benefit.  She was more than confident that when he came to- if he did- he would not appreciate the knowledge that he was fondled by a human.  But he would probably appreciate it even less if he were to lose those particular appendages to frostbite.   

Either way, he would not be pleased.  There was a good chance she would die no matter what she did now.  So, she reasoned, she probably shouldn’t perish without touching a penis at least once.  And, she reminded herself, it was the kind thing to do. 

Swallowing thickly, she slowly, and very unsurely, moved her hand place it in her grasp.  The shock of his frozen manhood against the heat of her hand was so contrast that it burned her to touch. 

She just gripped it firmly, letting the heat seep in.  She thought it best if she didn’t move around too much.  If he were to...react...she didn’t know how she would handle that situation.  What’s worse, he could regain consciousness any moment.   And how could she explain that?  She wouldn't get the chance.  She would be dispatched in an instant. 

She was very grateful that he remained soft as she cradled him; and when she felt him begin to warm, she moved to cup his testicles so that they could get some blood flowing as well. 

She marveled in the foreign feeling of a grown man in her hands.  It wasn’t what she expected it to feel like.  But then, she wasn’t sure what exactly she had been expecting.  When she heard her friends in the future talk about their encounters with male organs, they only described the feel when it had stiffened.  She hadn’t considered that when she took a man into her grasp, he wouldn’t be very excited by the contact.  She wasn’t complaining.  She would actually be quite distraught if Sesshoumaru became hard in her presence.  But something about the encounter left her feeling somewhat... disappointed. 

Another noise from his throat nearly gave her a heart attack, and she quickly removed her hand.  He wasn’t awake yet, and she figured she better quit while she was ahead.  She hurriedly moved back up to him, and sprawled on top of him once more. 

The upper body was definitely safer territory.  Though still not at all comfortable.  She rubbed a now familiar path across the expanse of his muscular chest.  But something was different.  Wait! 

Running across his nipples for what felt like the hundredth time, she realized that they had softened to an incredible degree.  They still held some firmness, but they were a far cry from the glass-cutting peaks she had encountered throughout her endeavors.  She was pleased that her actions seemed to finally be taking effect, and she ignored how she missed the feel of the hardness as she traveled over them once more. 

Her belly had been pressed to his, and it seemed to be doing wonders.  Sweat even felt like it was accumulating between them, but she couldn’t be certain which of them had produced it.  She ran her hands down the sides of his torso, and blushed wickedly at the contact. 

With all she had been through for him, she definitely shouldn’t still be harboring any modesty.  But the firmness of his form, the well-shaped feel of his perfect muscles under her touch... it was pleasing.  He felt the way she had imagined a boy to feel.  The way she had desired one to feel.  But though Sesshoumaru was worthy of awe, and desire, she had never considered him in such a light.  Could never. 

Even though he may be what any hormone raddled girl would be foaming at the mouth to get her hands on, he was not a nice person.  And Kagome wasn’t shallow.  It had been easy to ignore his attractive face, his pleasing physique.  But up close and personal like this, it would be a lie to deny his superficial appeal. 

She allowed herself to bask in the sensation as she ran her eager palms over each rippling muscle of his perfectly cut abdominals.  She would never choose to do this.  Never have even considered it.  But here and now, doing it out of purely selfless nature, she was forced to accept the fact that this demon...human, was an arousing sight to behold. 

But this wasn’t for her pleasure.  She was fondling him to save his life.  So, she figured, she could endure a few more passes up and down the taut muscle of his rigid body.  Because it was necessary.  Because she had to do it.   

She still felt immensely guilty at the fact that she, for a moment, had actually been enjoying it.  Yeah, she was a real Mother Theresa... 

She had been at it for nearly 20 minutes, and Jaken still hadn’t returned with the wood.  But when Sesshoumaru finally started to stir, she stilled.  Her panic froze her in place as his eyelids slowly began to rise, and because she had yet to formulate a plan for this intended scenario, she could only hold her breath.  Though his eyes were now opened, it took him a long moment to come to.  Looking through her at first, she tensed incredibly, and awaited her fate- whatever that was. 

The few seconds it took him to return to full consciousness felt like a lifetime; and she made not a sound to avoid spooking him.  It was almost as if she believed that she didn’t move alert him to her presence, he wouldn’t notice she was there. 

He blinked once.  Twice.  Ten times, before moving his lips and attempting to speak, but he didn’t.  Or couldn’t.  She wasn’t sure.  When it looked like he might, she nervously beat him to it. 


A violent shiver rocked his form, and she grasped his shoulders reflexively in response.  He was trembling, and it made her move against him again, to warm his still chilly body. 

“Do you know who I am?” she asked hopefully.  Though she wasn’t sure if it would help her. 

He appeared to be trying with all his might to answer her.  Forcing his lips to form any words, she waited patiently for him to speak.  He shook as he forced the word from his mouth. 


She normally found the way he chose to address her very irritating.  But she had never been so happy to hear her title spill past his demeaning lips.  She was fairly certain of his opinion of her, but his recognition alone told her that at least his brain hadn’t suffered too drastically.  She could work with this. 

“Yes!  That’s good.  Do you know who you are?” 

“Shhh....Shhesshhs...” his teeth were chattering, and she placed a hand at his chest to stop his efforts.  His trembling slowed fractionally at the contact, and he used the soothing touch she gave him as an anchor.   

“That’s right.  Sesshoumaru.”  She allowed him a moment to attempt to control his wracked disposition.  She had so many questions, but this was hardly time for the third degree.    

“Do you remember what happened?” Giving up on speech, he forced a painful nod. 

“That’s okay.  You don’t have to tell me now,” she assured him tenderly, trying to get him to relax.  “You were nearly frozen when I found you.  I am doing my best to get you warm.  Do you understand?” 

He was still shaking as he looked into her face, and looked down to their touching bodies a moment, before returning his gaze to hers.  He only nodded again. 

At his admission, she found the courage to resume rubbing him ever so gently as she spoke. 

“Okay.  I mean you no harm, alright?  Jaken is getting us wood for a fire right now.  We need to stay here until your body temperature rises.  I am going to rub your skin to get blood flowing.”  Narrating took the edge off slightly, and he quit attempting to control his form yet again, closing his eyes and laying his head back to the ground.   

This was good.  He was conscious, and she wasn’t dead.  She ignored the possibility that it was simply because he didn’t have the strength yet.  Laying her head against his chest to avoid eye contact, she kept up with rubbing her hands across his chest and arms while occasionally moving her legs up and down to warm the rest of him.  He allowed the contact to continue, purely by making no move to stop her. 

 Despite her mortification, she was relieved when Jaken and Ah-Un finally arrived with wood.  It wasn’t enough to last but an hour.  But it was a start. 

“My Lord!  You are awake!”  Jaken pushed past his discomfort at seeing the naked miko laying on top of his lord to rush to his side. 

When he didn’t respond, the toad continued on. 

“The miko came to aid you, My Lord-” he started nervously.  It seemed like he was trying to explain the situation, so that she wouldn’t be harmed.  Or maybe it was so the toad himself would not be killed for allowing this to occur. 

“Jaken,” Kagome demanded harshly, “The fire!” 

“Oh, yes! Of course!”  Piling the wood into a bundle near the bag, he used his staff to set it aflame. 

The warm licks were a great relief, and she stretched her face to it welcomingly. 

“Take a moment to warm up.  Then, you need to get more,” she informed him as she closed her eyes in the face of the new heat. 

Jaken wouldn’t argue as he huddled close on the other side of his fire. 

Comfortable now that they were no longer alone, she let her exhaustion take over as she finally allowed sleep to claim her by force.  She considered that it was entirely possible that she would never wake up.  Because, even though the body beneath her had recently been at her mercy, now that he was alert, she was helplessly at his. 


INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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