Wow! You write with wonderful lemony goodness! And not just smut, either. Tenderness, passion, lust, desire - it was all there!
In general, your writing style and descriptive language are very engaging and enjoyable. However, while your dialogue isn't lacking, per se, its placement makes it difficult to tell who is speaking at times. Technically speaking, a new speaker should create a new paragraph. While that doesn't always have to be the case, some clarification would be helpful.
The only part of this that was strictly confusing, though, was the first time Sesshomaru said mate. Not that it's confusing who said it, merely why he said it and why did Kagome later question his intentions if she heard him say it. That part, I feel, just needs a bit more clarification.
I look forward to reading more. Your practice seems to be going well so far.