That was a tad awkward if i say so myself, but i really do like you plot. Please Update soon! :)
I like this story so far and I hope it's updated soon because I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes next. There are a few things in the story that are confusing. In Ch.1 Kagome was found almost dead,she awoke in the hospital,she was told about her illness and that the only thing keeping her alive were injections of demon donated blood from a recently mated male demon. At the end of the chapter the Doc told her she needed to find a 'demon mate' in order to live or she'd die. In Ch.2 is where it gets confusing,she's upset about not being able to find a monk via matchmaker for different reasons,mainly because of her demon side and she thinks to herself that maybe she should just buy a coffin. Then she decides that she'll just have to try a demon matchmaker.Why would she even try looking for a monk to marry after being told at the hospital that she needed to find a DEMON mate asap or die ?? It wasn't like they said she had the option to find a monk or a demon, they were very blunt when telling her that she HAD to find a Demon to mate or DIE. The other confusing thing was her dad (a full fox demon)stating how proud he was that his daughter had changed into a demon and a very powerful demon with markings but when he described her as having 2 fox ears on the top of her head (and not elfin type,pointed human ears that full demons have) would that make her a hanyou or in this story do the ears not matter? It's confusing because she said since she had changed into part demon much had changed.If she's only changed to a part demon does that mean she'll keep changing into a full demon or as it stated in Ch.3 when the doctor explained to Sessh (& us) that her body is fighting itself & once they become more physical & she's gets from him more (youkai?)of whatever his body,as a demon, can give her until her body can produce what it needs then she'll be full demon & stable? or at least once they mate? I can't wait to read more and find out. I also wonder if we'll find out why she's the only black fox when the demon side of her family are all orange foxes? I think I need to reread what it said about her being the only black fox because I think it's pretty cool that Kagome is the only black one but when I first read it I thought it said that she was a rare black fox or the only black fox (like black fox demons were extinct or rare)but,l think I read it wrong. I didn't quite understand why she had gone back & forth saying she liked Sessh & wanted it to work & then said she didn't like him. Then I didn't understand why she said no to him when she said she felt it was the right thing to do & that Sessh had been taken advantage of by too many sick beings. Did she misunderstand him or something because he only mentioned (1 being) his dad was sick and wanted grandkids, but it was as if she seemed to believe he had been put in multiple situations that involved ill beings and she felt guilty (or that it would be wrong if she said yes to him).Then the demon she dated for a short time, didn't do more than kiss him, if that, was Inuyasha and how could that have started her body start fight itself,Especially when the doctor said her miko powers are or were very strong &/but she's also a very powerful demon & the 2 energys or powers within her are fighting for control & are going to kill her,that made me think that being on the shrine & only having close contact with her dad who has/is the same or equal demon energy or power that is within her & that what could have started her bodies inner fight was being near a demon that was different to her own & it either sparked aggression in her miko power to protect her from a demon her body didn't know & when she stopped seeing him her body's miko power had grown but had no outlet to fight outside her body so attacked her own demon energy because her inner miko/demon balance was off & now it'll keep fighting within till she's dead unless she mates & awakens her demon power-like when the doc gave her the shot but the shot's aren't lasting as long .The other thing I thought that could have started this inner battle is if her inner demon reached maturity but these are just questions I'm asking myself until I can read more of this story. I can't wait to read more & see what's going to happen or what is going on. This story is kind of exciting with different possiblities. I'm sorry for leaving such a long review but I can't wait for the next chapter.
Venita (Chapter 3) - Sun 18 Mar 2012
Keep it coming.
I love this story so far! The suspence is killing me!
Phoenix89 (Chapter 3) - Fri 16 Mar 2012
Interesting idea you have here. I look forward to reading more :)
Aww so sweet. Please upload soon.
Venita (Chapter 2) - Fri 16 Mar 2012
Great story, please update soon.
Well at least INUPAPA is happy. And Sesshomaru seems to like her Scent. That's a better start than it Could be.
Loved the scene in the candy store. ^_^ Very sweet. ;)
Thanks for writing!
| I like to give honest reviews because it helps the author the most. I think that the storyline is different and unique, I've read one or 2 stories where the inu no taisho was sneaky and devious like this so I can appreciate it here. So that was the good, onto the errors. I believe that each story requires some level of research. The parts describing the father's illness and to an extent kagome's aswell could have been better stated and elaborated on. The fathers illness even more because he's trying to get sesshoumaru to believe I and I don't think that it was believable in the slightest sorry to say. I know it's probably late to say but it might still help, as a suggestion you could have kept the fact that it was a trick to get sess mate a secret, keep the readers in suspense and in that way the readers would better be able to relat and then later on the reveal of the fathers trick could be used as a surprise or a point of conflict later on. I'm a beta myself so I'm a critical reviewer because I want to see people developing their stories to the max. And one last suggestion, since u prefer to go without a beta which I completely understand, one thing I think you should focus on when ur rereading, is the phrasing of some of these lines, you want the chapter to flow. Soo I wish u luck with this interesting storyline and look forward to seeing how it develops O:)
i'm REALLY interested in this fic! but i think maybe your summery gives a lot away! maybe if your up to it, something a tad more simple but to the point could clear things up! I'll be fic stalking! so i hope to see more updates soon!
clover (Chapter 2) - Thu 15 Mar 2012
You need a beta maybe I should find your old one and drag her out from under the desk that she is hidding under, but other then that it was good can't wait to read more.
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