I'm a little confused with all the titles

Very confusing.

I think this could've been an awesome story, it certainly seemed like you had a creative idea, but I'm wondering, did you read this before posting this online?.. The story was seriously all over the place. I suggest finding a beta, letting theM smooth out all the redges patches and then resubmitting.. Grammar wasn't too bad but what made this story horrendous was lack of organization and not having clear ideas formulated.

Please take this as constructive criticism, this really good be a good story if you worked on it a bit more.

...

I lost this through the 3rd chapter and couldn't continue.

That was..interesting :)