Reviews for Communication by kaoruhana

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Houjin Shikaku (Chapter 15) - Sun 30 Oct 2011

Getting him to say her name is always the hardest part lol, everything else should be downhill from here! lol

Grammar Mistakes: ( I know commas who cares, but I kinda like making my reviews actually mean something once in awhile lol)

1.

"He growled, and kicked himself mentally." You don't need the comma in this sentence because the predicat is combined. So you, my dear, have two choices:

"He growled and kicked himself mentally." ( I think this is what you were originally going for, Also I like this one better XD)

or

"He growled, and he kicked himself mentally."

2.

"Her face was lit up and it reminded him of his daughter when she had candy. " ----->

Her face was lit up, and it reminded him of his daughter when she had candy. Because indiviudaully these are both sentences on there own.

 

PS. I know you probably know grammar rules, because let's face it you're a much better writer than me, so I just put them there to explain why I think so. so no offense to your immaculate intelligence.

 

Spelling Mistake:

"He questioned watching as her fact lit up into an even brighter smile" *Face


Houjin Shikaku (Chapter 13) - Wed 26 Oct 2011

Haha he finally decided to stop trying to defeat the system and go along huh? lol I kinda loved this chapter, like kinda a lot! I awed when I read what he was aspiring to be...I just awed again as I wrote that, because I remembered it lol, Actually everytime I look back on the chapter to write this review I keep going straight for that one line, and keep thinking AWWW, It's just so gooey and sweet! It's a feel-good chapter. Alright now I think I'm rambling, but overall that chapter was so cute!

 

ps: I have absolutely no idea why nobody else has reviewed so far! This is an excellently written story, with lots of thought put into it. They should be ashamed! lol sorry i've been meaning to say that for awhile, so don't get depressed because they'll come around eventually!


Houjin Shikaku (Chapter 8) - Thu 20 Oct 2011

lol yes that was out of character, his poor secretary is going to end up having a heart attack! Looks like he's getting two lessons for the price of one, Communication and Manners lol Love it so far!


Houjin Shikaku (Chapter 3) - Mon 17 Oct 2011

ooooo!! this is going to be great! I read the summary and was like hmmm this is so interesting!!! GOT TO READ! And I absolutely love it so far, It subtely reminds me of forthright's Clutter. OH NO! Not like in an unoriginal plagarism, way, but instead like...hmm... i don't really know how to explain it. Kind of like one of them has an undisputable issue, and the other fixes it. yea kinda like that. Update soon!


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