The fool got what he deserved, and so did Kagome, Sessh finally came out of the bag, and told her hu is interested in her, about darn time!
This sounds very intriguing. I am interested to read on and find out what Kagome will encounter with her interview with Sesshoumaru. I wish I knew what colour her dress was, I love little details like that. Few typos here and there but in general I think it will be a good story. I liked reading these lines -
..."Look at me," He commanded. Slowly she looked up into the most beautiful set of eyes she had ever seen in her life. It was like looking into melted gold....
A really lovely description. Thanks for entertaining me.
there is no chapter 10 posted?
amy (Chapter 10) - Wed 25 May 2011
NO STORY.
amy (Chapter 9) - Sat 26 Feb 2011
SWEET, ATTRACTIVE!
Aww, poor Sesshomaru! He just likes her a little too much for his own good, huh? Haha! Very good chapter, and as always, I can't wait to see what happens next!
Rin cooks?? I wonder what will happen in part two! Thanks for updating,please update soon!
AHHH! Need update! I hope that Rin's cooking doesn't turn into a food disaster lol!
amy (Chapter 7) - Sat 05 Feb 2011
ADORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABLE! I LOVE HOW HE ASKED HER OUT ON A DATE!
Very interesting story.. can't wait to see where it's going ... Good luck and I'll keep an eye out for updates!!!
Great First chapter... I'll take the time to read the rest of you Fanfic later today. I'm very interested to know where you are going with this. Just one little thing - be careful with misspell words - typos are so easy! Believe me I know - my left hand is faster that my right hand ... which makes for very interesting words sometimes! lol
Another thing, if you what more words in your chapters try described the location/the area/the style/the colour/the texture - ex: the car - what color is it? Inside/outside? Are the seats in leather or fabric? is it automatic or manual? ... Just that would easily give you another 50 words. Same thing with the dress, the hair, the nails, the the lobby of the Restaurant - What do they look like? What color are they? What fabric is dress in? Are the floor tiles in marble...
If you are like me you're picturing everything in your mind and it's easy to overlook those small details when you write. But your readers they don't know what you know, they don't see what you see. Your job as a writer is to tell them so they can have their own images and make their own movie in their minds.
But you're on your way and we all start somewhere similar to you, don't worry it will get better and easier. Plus, the idea I got from your first chapiter, this is going to be one heck of a wild ride!
awww....it was so short!:{ It's nice to see this soft family oriented Sesshy come out. I am excited to find out what happens on their Saturday date. Please update soon
amy (Chapter 6) - Tue 11 Jan 2011
MORE UPDATES! INTRIGUING!
HAHAHA! Kagome's conversation with Miroku made me laugh. I love it. Keep it up!
bwahahaha I love miroku! He's always the best character for advice when it comes to relationships....that's kinda weird. thanks for updating! I can't wait for the next chappie.
Please update!!! I wanna know what happens next!!!
ah...ok...the reast of the chapter just now appeared for me, so it seems the Ryu chara is a girl, but i would like to advice you to look for a beta- reader
your story sound nice nonetheless so keep on workig
XD
amy (Chapter 5) - Sat 01 Jan 2011
WONDERFUL, MORE UPDATES!
Aw, Ruy's got a bit of an attitude...I like it lol! Keep up the good work. Very cute chapter.
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