wow. this is very interesting. i just had to go read what you had on fanfiction.net. cant wait till you post chapter 3
Wow. Just wow.
I can't begin to explain to you how well you've done with this first chapter. Your concept is fresh and very original, and you write very well. I love the retrospective feel of the first part of the chapter, when Kagome was walking through the snow by herself. You've managed to keep her in character and show her thoughts and emotions in a way that draws your reader in.
I can already tell that this is going to be one heck of a fic. I'm eager to see where you take it, and how you manage to bring Sesshomaru back from the grief that he must be feeling. By the way, I'm fairly positive that Sesshomaru would completely flip out if Rin were to die unexpectedly - you did an awesome job portraying his emotions; when he said that she was asleep, my heart jumped into my throat to see the depths of his despair.
Anyway, besides a few missed words - as though you were typing too fast and forgot to write it - and a few misused words, you don't have very many mistakes. All you really have to do is read over it, and it'll be as close to perfect as it can get.
Good job, and I'll be waiting for the next chapter!
~Aubrey
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