For once an encounter quite rooted to reality: Sesshomaru as a normal guy (and not as a CEO, a business man or the world emperor), Kagome terrified of him (considering her memory is based on their previous encounters) and their meeting due to something important like Naraku's doom (and not because they are secretly in love with each other since Sengoku Jidai).
Old plot, but new description: I'm intrigued... :)
Sounds interesting so far. I don't usually read fanfictions written in first person - they make me think of Twilight and self-insert characterizations of characters. However, I do like how this one is flowing. It still sounds like Kagome, and future Sesshoumaru sounds like he would in that time. Keep up the good work.
- CA
Oh yes this was most amusing. Sheep lol i have a feeling something funny pertaining to sheep is bound to happen.
I think you clearly do keep them in character. I love the future sesshomaru thats exactly how I would interpret him.
Great job.
Sala (Chapter 3) - Wed 14 Apr 2010
Most fiction novels are written in third person, as it is easiest to follow. Although this chapter was fine (it is always nice to try new things), I would recommend it. :)
lmao I love this story. It's so funny. Kagome is hilarious. It was cool how Sesshomaru just dropped by too. Can't wait for your next chapter! Update soon! Peace.
sakurachan_1 (Chapter 2) - Sat 10 Apr 2010
I like the story ...
so far the storyline
it´s good
hope u update soon
continue with the good work
I personally like 3rd person. That way it lets the reader know the thoughts of all the characters. First person restricts you to the thoughts of only one person. Don't get me wrong, I still like the story and it's plot.
I had to laugh at a couple of previous comments about wanting the print to be bigger. It's already a nice size, just right for my eyes. They weren't really serious, were they? heehee
Maybe by meeting Sesshoumaru in the future and getting to know him will influence her actions towards him in the past. I believe it will make her look at him differently and he will probably notice this. Also, if she's around him in the future, won't his scent be on her for him in the past to smell? Unless she's careful to bathe it away before going through the well. But there's bound to be a time when she's in a hurry and forgets. That would be interesting if he smelled himself on her.
I think this is heading into a great direction... cant wait to read the next chapter!
Sweet! What a chapter. Nice way to introduce Sesshoumaru in the future. I had to laugh at that!
I look forward to your next update :)
I love this story! It is amazing. And only getting better!
Nilee1 (Chapter 2) - Fri 09 Apr 2010
Great first chapter! More please--and soon.
stars (Chapter 2) - Fri 09 Apr 2010
please updata
Miss.Undo (Chapter 2) - Fri 09 Apr 2010
well i like it but please dont do it completly in kagomes POV. update i really like it, your doing a great job!! ")
angela (Chapter 2) - Fri 09 Apr 2010
Wow, that was a great chapter, expecially when you first introduced Sesshomaru. Now that was funny. I can't wait for the next one.
Keep up the great work.
Ur story got me hooked from the start. I find the whole situation terribly amusing. Great work and cant wait for the next chapter.
FairQueen (Chapter 2) - Fri 09 Apr 2010
funny i just love the last lines of this chapter. you have to update soon. and i can just see Sess coming up and doing something like that . Kags must really be tired to have not noticed him right away, but great response to him :)
Could you perhaps make the font size bigger. Possibly 12 or 13 font?
That size you have now makes it hard to read :C
I like this idea, I've been waiting for someone to do it! (Just one complaint, the text was too small! I'm not sure how to fix that though, I tried to use the button to make it bigger, but all that did was add more space between the lines...)
Nice writing! I wouldn't normally point this out, but your writing is actually so good it would be a shame not to go back and change the phrase "there business" so it reads "their business". I can't wait for the fallout when someone from the feudal era gets his hands on Kagome's book! This promises to be an interesting story, and I look forward to reading the next chapter.
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