You may not of heard of me but I'm the infamous Tori, and out of every story I've read I have to say I am not disappointed. The story was quite refreshing and offers a strong plot in which not overly doing it Naruku and kyiko as the main foregrounds or sub plot. You set the stage and the plot very simple but executed perfectly. Here is a gander if I may, the one factor that becomes recuring in stories: Kagome loses her edge and becomes soft and plaite and sessy loses his charm and fire we love. What I'm saying they don't have to fall in love but they can become something, but keep the fire and passions going keep us off balance with suprises, even add a little inu papa and inu-yasha into the mix, and I hope the next chapter is up soon.
I look forward to seeing your next work and regardless of everything keep your head up and moving forward.
Tori.
I love it so far! I wonder what will happen next! :) Update soon pretty please?
Really good first chapter! Can't wait for more!!
Hesunohana (Chapter 1) - Tue 30 Mar 2010
what a "fiery" beginning ! (laugh) I think it will be funny to read your fiction.
sakurachan_1 (Chapter 1) - Tue 30 Mar 2010
the start off was good ....
hope it continues like that
keep up the good work!!!!
oh hell no...
diid Sesshy just say what ii thiink he diid??
me and hiim would be fiightiing...not sexiing, or tamiing, or all that crap.
we'd be iin an all out brawl lol...
just sayiin...
oh... and ii loved thiis fiirst chapter, by the way ^o^
IvoryChan (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010
I like where this is going. There's just something erotic about a master-slave relationship.
And for wanting to give you constructive criticism, I was going to say that maybe if you tried making things more descriptive, and taking the time to explain a situation more. It just builds up the emotion, suspension and sexual tension.
Miss.Undo (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010
oh man you are a genius! love the idea of where this might be going! please update soon. ")
No (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010
| A wondeful story off to a great start. I like it when the author describes the surroundings, but I very much adore you for cutting it short and going straight on with the story. Complete and utte detail a lot of the time annoys me. Good job! Update!
Tsuki (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010
Fantastic start. I have a feeling this will be a great story.
Alpine (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010
I am really excited to see how this one goes. It's interesting and it's started out very nicely... Please update soon and I will be more than happy to leave my "2 cents" on each and every chappy.
Huggles
Alpine ^_^
Claire (Chapter 1) - Mon 29 Mar 2010
great story!! i look forward to the next chapter so plz update soon!!
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