aaawwwww thats was so sweet i really enjoy this version of the frog prince.....lol
It seems like it is probably going to be a good story, but I can't read it further than here as it is right now. I'm a big stickler when it comes to grammar and spelling because I read around 50 stories a day and seeing the same mistakes over and over really starts to agitate me. Author's notes and things like that, I pay no mind to the grammar and spelling but 'published works' I feel should show the best that you have to offer, but I'm a pretty harsh critic. Don't get me wrong, I would love to return once it's all cleared up, because your plot is fine; I just have issues with trying to read and stopping every few sentences mentally correcting your work and therefore taking away from how enjoyable the story could be. So, I'll be on the look out for it. Don't take my words too harshly, I've been told I'm a bit too blunt and brutal.
(Chapter 5) - Sun 20 Feb 2011
It was a very cute story but I don't understand why it was rated as MA...there was no blood,gore,death,sex...it was just like a fairy tale. I never read the frog prince story but I enjoyed this very much though. But I do wonder how long he was a dog...was it ever since he was a young boy & if so why was he sitting by the water crying??? & in her flasback how was it an adult him who found her heart when she was a young girl crying?? & all those dreams they had at night, did they share them??
Um... I knew I had read this before, and luckily having liked it I easily found it on my favorites on fanfiction dot net /s/5218755/4/The_Dog_Prince
...however you have me worried, in part because the author names are different but mostly because I'm wondering where the Prelude chapter is and if, between 2009 and 2010 you decided to repost and move the story to Dokuga why did you not fix the spelling and grammar errors? I mean... in the second chapter Kagome still asks Maru to go to the "shot springs" of all things.
I hope my fears are unbiased, as errors or not this has been a favorite piece since I first read it.
(Chapter 5) - Fri 15 Oct 2010
This was an interesting story, I do love the story of the frog prince, and this was an interesting take on that classic. However there were a few issues with your gammar, but that is nothing an editing session won't cure. With a little TLC you will will have a story that shines for all its worth. Well done, and I'll look forward to more of your work in the future!
(Chapter 5) - Fri 15 Oct 2010
Interesting story, but I feel it could use a bit of work. Watch your captials, words like human and demon should not be captialized unless at the beginning of a sentence. Some of your paragraphs are a bit too big and can make it hard to read on a computer screen. Also, try to never have a flash back that is only one sentence long. Adding a flashback and really interupt your story, espeically when you add in 'flashback' and 'end flashback' and doing all that for one sentence really isn't worth it. If you really want the flash back, add more details to it.
I think that with a bit of work and some more details, you could have a really good story here.
I love that you took a classic story, and put your own twist on it. It really works well for the universe you created, without completely obliterating the cannon universe. I think this story could really go up several notches, and become soooo fantastic if you got a beta to help you with some of the mundaine grammatical issues. I thin you could even help the flow of the story by adding a little more depth to the content... Instead of so many flashbacks, you could have tried to express the same scenes through emotions and thoughts. It owuld offer a deeper insight into the characters as YOU wish to have them portrayed. I say it like that because, you wrote the leads very OUT of Character, but I didn't think of it as detrimental to the story. In fact, even though they were out of character, I thought the way you wrote them, was very well done, and added to the quality of your story. Keep it up!
The story line was very good and I really like how you wrote it.
There were few (very few) grammatical errors and if cleaned up it would make it flow easier for readers, but like I said this was a good story and well you did a really good job!
That was soooo cute. I loved the story. It was very different from what I have come across and I like that. There were a few errors in spelling that you might want to go back and correct but other than that this story was wonderful.