This was an interesting story but it felt quite rushed. If you went back through it and slowed things down a bit this story would benefit greatly. There were a few issues with grammar, however that is nothing a quick editing session won't fix. This is the start of a great story, and with a little TLC it will change into a wonderful piece.

Interesting story and I liked the direction of it, but I feel it could use a bit of work.  Some of your sentences run on, some missing puncuation, improper use of captials and some paragraphs are a bit big, which can make it hard to read on a computer screen.  I think that if you go back over this and slow things down a bit, you could help your story to reach it's potental.

Well, for moral reasons I certainly take issues with his infedelity. Its a personal issue of mine, and when I read stories with infedelity of the main characters, I usually like to see more cause/effect and consequences directly relating to the offense. I'm more able to wrap my head around the concept of the betrayal that way. In this story, that would have been very beneficial to me as a reader, and I think it would have helped round out the story a little more thoroughly. This felt more like an outline than an actual story. There was so much potential here, that I felt you really could ahve ellaborated on, and made this a really amazing angsty oneshot. I hope you'll come back to this and fill it out more. I'd love to reread it again when you have! :) Great work. Keep writing!

Agreed it was very well written and I could feel Kagome's emotions.
I think if you wanted to you could make this into the start of a very wonderful chaptered story.

Very cute.  This was wonderfully written I could feel all the sadness and pain.  You did a great job with showing what was going on with both of them mentally and how they each viewed the situation they found themselves in.