Reviews for The Angel of Time by cloud

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sugar0o who lurks (Chapter 7) - Mon 04 Jan 2010

0o0o0o0o0o0o i LOVE this fic! >:3 MORE NOW PLEASE!!! *wiggles bribery c0okies at you*


Snowfall (Chapter 7) - Mon 04 Jan 2010

This is a wonderful story.  I like it very much.  I skimmed through some of the previous reviews and noticed other people giving suggestions and critiques.  That wouldn't happen if they didn't see great potential in you.  So, don't take it as a bad thing.  It's good that they are willing to help.  To take the time to write out what you need help with shows that they care whether or not succeed as a writer.  Here's my contribution:

 

I have to re-read many sentences because of missing commas and periods.  That frustration of having to 'translate' takes away much of the enjoyment.  You might want to read over your chapters a little more before you post them.  I know what a pain it is to do, believe me.  Having brain damage, I must read my own chapters until I'm thoroughly sick of them, so I know I'm asking a lot.  Also, I have a friend who lives in Australia and I don't think they breathe between sentences (LOL).  It shows in our rp's--lack of periods and commas.  I noticed that when she becomes excited and types too fast, she misses punctuation and her spelling fails miserably, but when she takes her time and reads what she writes before posting, it is almost perfect.  So, maybe taking a little extra time is all you need.

 

I have 'favorited' this story because I like it so much and, I hope you do take to heart my suggestions, as well as the suggestions of others.


Dani (Chapter 7) - Sun 03 Jan 2010

What a great story! I haven't seen it before today but I hope I don't miss it after this.


Priscilla (Chapter 6) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

Great chapter.Have never thought of Inuyasha that way but I guess that it is true that he tries to break her spirit. Please update soon.Take care


Priscilla (Chapter 5) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

Great chapter Just one question can there be any chance of Tenshi saving Inutaisho.Keeping my fingers crossed for it take care


theangelbreath (Chapter 2) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

i dont if u've noticed, but u use "as" way 2 much! e.g. "Sesshomaru snarled as he surged forward." u couldve written, "Snarling, Sesshoumaru surged forward." c? juz a suggestion. ;)


sugar0o who lurks (Chapter 6) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

MAHHHHHHH!!! UPDATE!!! i just found this now i will pounce you til you update again!!!! >:3 Stupid Yusha


Rowdys girl (Chapter 6) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

Writing a little fast, were we? Especially toward the end?

He realizes your strength but does not wish to acknowledge it.

He is too cowardly to accept a woman with a strong will so he seeks to crush it.

I am not telling you this to stop you traveling with him

and for a moment Tenshi glimpsed the woman that would be.

This is a really good series. I am marking it for notification cuz I don't want to miss a chapter!


Rowdys girl (Chapter 4) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

The past tense of the verb lead (pronounced leed), is led. So the sentence should read: Rin ran along the shoreline of the river her Sesshomaru-sama had led her to. Of course, lead is also the name of the metal and is pronounced led. Isn't English a fine and straightforward language?

This story is like Lays potato chips, you can't read just one!


redoxide (Chapter 5) - Wed 16 Dec 2009

I like how you've come up with a new twist on a familiar concept. I also liked the detail about the different planes of existence etc. I'm really curious as to why Tenshi has wings (it's hard for me to visualise-I keep seeing huge white feathery ones like Oh! My Goddess style) and *why* he keeps being pulled through time. Please keep going with this interesting story!


bluefire1 (Chapter 4) - Tue 15 Dec 2009

I Love your story.  It is new and different.  Can't wait to read more.


redoxide (Chapter 4) - Tue 15 Dec 2009

Yay! You updated! *dances*

This story is so mysterious...and makes me think of the book/movie The Time Traveller's Wife. I gather that Tenshi has little or no control over his travels so I hope he doesn't come to anymore harm. I'm eagerly anticipating finding out more of the story :)


Priscilla (Chapter 3) - Tue 15 Dec 2009

Beautiful chapter once again yeah his mother named him well alright.It was so cute that the mother in question just bonded with her son when she's a child and he's not.Please update soon


Priscilla (Chapter 2) - Tue 15 Dec 2009

Poor Touga going through the tension and poor Sesshomaru biting off more than he could chew with that unicorn


Priscilla (Chapter 1) - Tue 15 Dec 2009

Very intriguing start.


Priscilla (Chapter 4) - Tue 15 Dec 2009

Beautiful. Please update soon. Am really looking forward to it


redoxide (Chapter 3) - Fri 23 Oct 2009

I've seen the idea of Kagome and Sesshoumaru's child returning to the past elsewhere but I've never encountered one as well written or as novel as this. Please continue as I'm eager to read more :)


Silver (Chapter 1) - Mon 28 Sep 2009

Oh wow. I'm horribly interested now. I can't wait to see how this unravels.


theunknownchild (Chapter 1) - Sun 27 Sep 2009

I found this to be an awesome idea! If a full story strikes you, please don't hesitate to go all the way!! :)


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INUYASHA © Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan • Yomiuri TV • Sunrise 2000
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