Haha! :D that was really cute. Great job for your first one! one tip is to try not to use I and you too often, you isn't such a bad one but when it's written in third person I's get a little confusing. But overall it really good, very cute, and you have good grammar. Hopefully you'll make this into a chapter story? or series of comidic oneshot? *hint hint beg beg* :}
Loved it! MontiK
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