Very interesting story. I do think the fairies thing is a bit out there. You have some spelling and grammar issues. All the flashbacks kind of interrupted the flow. I did enjoy your characterizations. Poor Jaken! And the Kirara part was very interesting. I do enjoy your sense of humor. I would suggest maybe getting a beta or re-editing this and continuing. I would very much like to find out what the "plan" is.

Well, I would definitely like to see what happens when they do find Naraku and carry out Kagome's plan.  You've hinted at it but have not really given the idea of what the plan is, and it has left me very curious.  However, some parts of the chapters are a little rushed, and could use some editing to clean up the grammatical errors.  Also, the numerous flashbacks in a single chapter got confusing.  Still, I enjoyed the silliness that comes with the two groups traveling together and look forward to reading more.

i have read many of your stories before and i love your witty sillyness, but this one is just a little too much for me...the sentence structure and grammar were very rough to work through, the fairie idea was a little out there and seemed to be poorly thought out, and many places in the first chapter seemed very rushed...your descriptions about the emotions the characters were feeling were rather well done, but other than that i believe this story needs some serious editing/betaing, if you do that i believe you will have a very good story:D

You know, I was really surprised when I read through this.  (BTW: I read everything you had so far even if the review is for chapter one only.)  At first, I was annoyed at spelling/grammar, but then your writing got progressively better.  You have a knack for the absurd and the funny.  I love your comic pieces. 

When I was reading the Wrena part, I have to admit, I was like O.O wtf??  BUT!! I thought it was a clever way to give Kagome the plan.  I think you need to work on formatting, and it would be a good idea to revisit some of the old chapters and fix them.  The first chapter is the most important in hooking the reader – make it count because your story is too good to miss. 

Keep on writing!

ducky out!

The original premise in the first chapter is intriguing but a little over the top with the fairies.  I'm glad you changed that with the rest of the story. Although you might be able to do something with the anime Kagome dreaming of the real girl and getting the plan to defeat Naraku or something along those lines if you choose.  The second chapter was better.  However, the center alignment was distracting.  And as the story progressed it sort of went all over the place.  Your ideas were good but they didn't flow together cohesively.

You might want to try a different method of changing points of view and inserting flashbacks.  I've seen lots of authors use labels such as Kagome's pov and then when it switches say normal pov.  I've also seen a paragraph in the middle of a chapter labeled flashback. It's a very common method authors use of to get their point across and it certainly makes it very clear to the reader what is or has happened.  The problem with it is that it makes the chapter seem choppy.  I prefer a smoother transition where the character somehow let's the reader know that they are remember something.  -- This is obviously an opinion and not a rule.  

I've read reviewed at least a couple of your stories on here and enjoyed them. I feel you are a really imaginative and talented writer and if you were to rework this it could turn into a really awesome story.  

I found this story to have several very funny parts, but I was also confused and put off by other parts of it. You are a great writer, and while I liked many different stories you have done, this one was just a little too erratic for my tastes. The beginning chapters went with the summary, but then it took on an entirely different feel and style. There were lots of questions that were not answered in it, and while I understand that you were trying to do lots of different styles and different things (like the chapter on Jakken), I just found it weird. I liked the part that Kirara had a humanoid form, but then I was confused when Sango was surrounded by fire like her...that was not explained. There is just too much weirdness.

The second chapter being all centered is off-putting to say the least. It makes reading hard. There are some spelling errors, but nothing a beta or spellcheck couldn't help. I would definately like to know what the plan is for getting rid of Naraku, I just don't know if the story structure is strange enough for me to continue.

Anyways, I wish you luck, and hope that the next chapter is a little more cohesive. This could be great, just work on it a little more. I love some of your other work, and know that you have the talent!

Smittee, as much as I love your abject silliness, this story was really hard to read. The grammar, sentence structure and punctuation were all across the board. Then in chapter 2 everything went center-aligned and it actually hurt my eyes to read all of it.

I didn't so much mind the addition of Wrena but the faeries were a little too out there.

You changed the style of writing from chapter to chapter and it totally broke up the flow of the story...it was more like a series of connected oneshots, except they needed each other in order to make sense.

It was cute, don't get me wrong...just really hard to read, even for it's slightly comedic take.

Don't think I will be able to finish this story, as a few too many of my petpeeves are mentioned already in the first chapter lol, and yes I do realize it's supposed to be comedy lol.  For the first chapter itself, the discriptions were done rather well, a bit rushed but for the most part, the scenes flowed nicely.  While I am not a fan, I am sure many others will love this story, so don't take my not liking it to heart.  Though I would agree with removing Wrena and the faries, though you could still keep the idea of the wish in, just instead of having scenes with them, you could just try narrorating about the wish and such.  I wish you much luck with this story, as even though it is not my kind of read, it does have the potental to becoming a well loved story.

Also, I skimmed over the later chapters and have to mention, I would really recomend changing the alighment on chapter 2+, having the text centered makes it rather hard to read and might in fact turn away readers.