Jean (Chapter 7) - Sun 11 Feb 2018

Interesting story concept, very unique in having Kagome as a overweight teenager. Enjoying your story so far. 


Mutnodjmet (Chapter 7) - Sun 11 Feb 2018

Chapters six and seven I enjoyed reading.

A couple of things though: 

1)  my mother could return a kind jester to your father!”  The word jester should be spelled as gesture.

2)  as he moved into a hard punch, making his sleeve pop. Kagome tried it,non- he done it again more slowly so Kagome could see what he was doing, she tried again and her sleeve popped, just like his had.

3)  What does the following phrases mean sleeve pop and her sleeve popped?

          (making his sleeve pop)....(she tried again and her sleeve popped)

What does the word own mean in the sentence or is it a misspell or does it even belong in the sentence.

           (After the own teacher’s shock wore off,)

I hope I did not confuse you with my queries, but I was curious.

 

I previously reviewed chapter four and I thought that Sesshomaru was non-judgemental towards Kagome but reading chapter seven made me re-think that notion. He does seem to be very judgemental towards her. I think with their interactions going forward will more than likely change. Hopefully Kagome learns a few things from him about who and what she is and of who and what he is.

I am looking forward to new chapters to this well written and delightful story.

Good job.

Cheers!!!

 

 


Chris Hansen (Chapter 1) - Sat 10 Feb 2018

I love the idea, and the way you're going about it. I do have to say the sentence structure and flow could use a bit work; the sentences tend to be a bit off in wording, and run on. Otherwise, overall a very different story. I'm so used to Kagome being a tiny-waist, large-chested, long-legged goddess, that seeing her as a heavyset girl is nice for a change.


InumeT_FlyGirl (Chapter 6) - Sat 10 Feb 2018

Sa go is so helpful! I can’t wait to see Kagomes progression! 


InumeT_FlyGirl (Chapter 2) - Mon 05 Feb 2018

Sweet! I like the direction this is heading! It’s dry important to clear the air and express the emotions that are trapped inside of you. I hope this will help others who are feeling this way!

 

thak you !


Cheyanna (Chapter 5) - Mon 05 Feb 2018

Can’t wait to read more!!! :)


Mutnodjmet (Chapter 5) - Sun 04 Feb 2018

I loved the chapter. 

Thank you for posting another chapter so soon.

It's good that Kagome made a couple of new friends and got a good therapist to boot.

This chapter gave me a couple of things to think on as to the emotional impact of a child being over weight.

Things should start to change for Kagome and her mom now.

I wonder how the children of Amiki and Mr. Tashio will react to each other if their parents got together....hmmm...LOL

Hope you have a good week ahead and will be looking forward to new chapters next weekend provided RL will allow you. :)

Great writing!!!

Cheers!!!

 


Mutnodjmet (Chapter 4) - Sun 04 Feb 2018

Okay, you answered a question I asked in my review of chapter three.

I asked if the principal and his son demon or human....demon I guess according to this chapter.

I misspelled principal in previous review (*principle*)....I should have known better.  lol :)

So Tokunaga seems not to be turned of about Kagome's weight problem and that's good.

Despite his cold demeanor...he seems to be non-judgemental.

I hope you will be able to finish this story...that would great, but if not, que sera,sera

RL comes first.

 

Great chapter.

 


Mutnodjmet (Chapter 3) - Sun 04 Feb 2018

Very good chapters (2 & 3).

Are the principle and his son demons in this story or are they human?

I wonder if Kagome's mom and Mr. Tashio end up developing a relationship of the romantic kind.

Looking forward to the next installment soon.

Great job!!!


Itoe (Chapter 1) - Sun 04 Feb 2018

Hello (:

 

I can imagine that this story is going to be very interesting. And it is a very serious matter you have chosen here. I used to be overweight as well... although no one really bullied me.. i still felt ... left out. 

Especially when doing something with our classes... like the annual two days wandering in which no one wanted to walk with me... or do something... 

So I would love to read more of this story...


InumeT_FlyGirl (Chapter 1) - Sat 03 Feb 2018

Interesting. Can’t wait to read more 


Mutnodjmet (Chapter 1) - Sat 03 Feb 2018

An interesting start. I would like to read more.

The story is very nicely written. I know I am going to like it. You are a very creative and terrific writer judging by your other stories.

I am looking forward to upcoming chapters if ever RL allows you.

 

Excellent writing.

Cheers!!!


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